With a Little Help From My Military Spouse Friends

We all need our military spouse friends…

As I have walked through this military life, there have been ups and downs.

I have had good days, filled with excitement and hope. I have had bad days, where I just wanted to curl up into a ball and fall asleep until the next day. But no matter what is going on, knowing I have people who have my back has been a lifesaver.

Knowing I have friends I can talk to when the deployment doesn’t seem to want to end, allows me to figure out ways to make it through.

Knowing I have friends I can vent to about a bad deployment day, helps those days not seem so awful.

Knowing I have friends who get this life, and that we can help each other is so very valuable.

These other women, who I have been able to walk this life with have been truly amazing. I am not sure how I would have gone through everything without them. I am not sure how I could have made it to the finish line of deployments in one piece without them.

Sometimes this was meeting up weekly, just to check in after a weekend. Other times this was getting our kids together to play, so that they could have fun, and that we had another adult to talk to. Or maybe this was having someone to talk to about how hard things were getting, and working to help each other out.

I recently returned from MakeHer19, and within this group of 30 military spouses, I saw so much love and support.

I saw people helping other people, answering questions, and sharing what might help.

I saw cheerleaders, helping their new friends have the confidence to go forward with a new idea.

I saw smiles when others chose to step out of their comfort zone, knowing that they have people in their corner, ready to help them along the way.

We need a little help from our military spouse friends. We need that support. We need that support whether we are talking about the stress of a deployment, the craziness of a move, or the challenges that can come about when we are focusing on our careers.

We need people that have our backs when we can feel so alone.

We need people who either understand what we are going through or who are willing to listen to us, even if they don’t.

We need a circle of trust, of people we can depend on, and people we can return the favor to.

And man, it can be hard sometimes.

I remember sitting with a group of my close military spouse friends a few years ago. We had met up for a playdate lunch and as we sat around the table chatting, I had a thought. This is not going to last forever. Everyone will eventually PCS and the dynamic will change.

And that is excatly what happened…everyone moved away eventually and our friend circle fell apart. I still keep in touch with these ladies over the miles, but it will never be the same. And that’s just apart of the military life I have come to accept.

I also know, that there is always someone new out there. There are always new people moving to this area, and some I can connect with. This might take more time than I would like, but if I am in need of a new friend, putting myself out there will eventually result in new friendships.

In this military life, it can be easy to want to pull back and stay away from everyone. You can tell yourself that the friend search isn’t even worth the time since you will only be there for a few years.

But…

Friends can be what we need to get through the challenges of military life. Friends encourage. Friends help us stay busy when we might not otherwise know how to make time pass.

We all need a little help from military spouse friends, especially when things seem so difficult.

Here are some additional articles and resources to help you find your people:

When You Can’t Make Friends at Your Duty Station

How to Make Awesome Friends in Military Life

How to Make Friends: 3 Ways to Find Your Tribe

8 Ways to Find Your New Best Friends

Finding Friends in a Military World

Instant Friendship: A Gift From Military Life

When An Introverted Military Spouse Needs To Make Friends

Joining the Sisterhood

Don’t give up. You can find friends. That journey isn’t always going to be easy, and saying goodbye isn’t going to be fun, but being able to walk with other spouses during your time in military life is a must.

• Photo by James Baldwin on Unsplash