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You are here: Home / Military Life / How Deployments Can Change You For The Better

How Deployments Can Change You For The Better

November 16, 2017 by Julie

How deployments can change you for the better

How Deployments Can Change You For The Better

One of the hardest parts of military life is getting through the deployments. There is so much to hate about them, but after going through four myself, as well as so many other times apart, I have seen how deployments can, in fact, change you for the better.

Beyond making you a stronger person, they can help give you a better perspective, learn new skills, and allow you to be more successful in life in the future. While I hate that my husband had to be gone so much, especially for my children’s sake, I am thankful that through our deployments, I have also changed for the better.

Gain independence

Being alone, being the only adult in the house, and having to do so much yourself will help you gain your independence. You will learn how to do things you didn’t know how to do before they left. You will discover that things you thought were too difficult, are in fact possible to do on your own. And this is such a good skill to have, no matter who you are.

How deployments can change you for the better

You understand other’s struggles

When you go through something such as a deployment, you start to understand how others get through difficulties of their own. You realize that we all go through our struggles, and while deployment might be yours, someone else might be dealing with something else. You will start to understand how they found the strength they did to get through because you found yours while your own spouse was deployed.

You can have empathy for other military spouses

After you have gone through a deployment, you can empathize with other military spouses who are getting ready to do the same thing. When they talk about their fears, you will be able to understand them too. Going through a deployment yourself will allow you to be there for others when they have to go through one of their own.

How deployments can change you for the better

You don’t take your spouse for granted

After being away from your spouse for any length of time, you will learn not to take your spouse for granted. When they are home, you will be reminded of when they were not. This doesn’t mean you will never get annoyed with them or never deal with any frustrations common to married couples, but in the back of your head, you will remember when they were not there and will try not to take the fact that they are home for granted.

You gain patience you never knew that you had

You might think you don’t have much patience, but after a deployment, you will realize that you in fact do. You will have to wait and be patient during a deployment. You will have to wait to hear from them after they get there, you will have to wait to hear from them during the deployment, you will have to wait for homecoming, and anything else along the way. You will learn how to cope with all this waiting and hopefully can take those skills to help you with other parts of your life.


If you are getting ready for a deployment, try to look at what you can gain from that time apart. Think about how you can grow as a person and become better for it. We don’t have to like deployments, but we can learn how to grow through them.

How have you changed for the better because of your spouse’s deployments?

Filed Under: Military Life

About Julie

Owner of Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life. Writer, reader, coffee drinker. Mom to three boys, wife of a National Guard soldier. Living life in Tennessee.

Previous Post: « Why We Have To Show Compassion To Other Military Spouses
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  1. Life As A Military Spouse In 17 Memes says:
    November 17, 2017 at 8:00 am

    […] apart, it will make you stronger, which is a good thing. While deployments are difficult, you can change for the better as you go through […]

  2. 19 Solo Parenting Hacks to Use the Next Time Your Spouse Deploys says:
    December 6, 2017 at 10:00 am

    […] Deployments mean a lot of stress. Try not to sweat the small stuff. Especially when it comes to the kids. […]

  3. 9 Things to Love About Military Life says:
    February 14, 2018 at 2:00 pm

    […] marriage has become stronger through our deployments and time as a military family. Even though each deployment was so difficult, we got through them, […]

  4. To the Seasoned Military Spouse ~ Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life says:
    January 29, 2019 at 8:00 am

    […] have done this before, deployments aren’t a new thing, and you feel like you have to be strong, for all the new military spouses […]

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About Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life

Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

Welcome to Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life! I am so glad you are here.

My name is Julie and I have been a military spouse for 17 years!

My husband of 20+ years has served in the active-duty Army and now the Army National Guard. We have lived in Germany & Tennessee during our time as a military family.

We have three boys and have been through four deployments together.

I hope that you can find support for your own deployments, PCS moves, or anything else military life brings you 🙂

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