3:30 in the afternoon. That is when it hit me the most. My husband was deployed, I had a two-year-old, and a baby, and 3:30 pm was the worst.
We were pretty much done with our activities for the day, but 3:30 was too early to start dinner. What in the world do I do with these kids?
How will I make it to bedtime? Once I get through that, I knew I would have some time to myself, as long as I could stay awake long enough to enjoy that much needed time.
As I think back to our past deployments, these moments, the times when I was so burned out, I couldn’t imagine what else I could do. The times when I would burst into tears, when I cried with my kids, when I sobbed after they went to sleep because I just wanted a break.
So, to the burned out military spouse mama, these days can be a struggle.
You want things to go smoothly, but then they don’t.
You want to be able to get everything done, but you can’t.
You are missing your spouse more than anything, and struggle to help your kids through the deployment as well.
Mama, you need to breathe. It’s going to be okay. It really is.
This is simply a season of your life, and this feeling will not last forever.
Whatever parenting struggle you are dealing with at the moment, whatever it is you are trying to work through, this too shall pass.
When your kids are young, you might struggle with sleeping, and teaching them to eat, and potty training.
And then as they get older, you are trying to figure out how to get out of the house on time, how to handle kids and friendships, and how to get them to do their homework.
You will have to deal with sibling rivalry, and kid’s sports, and watching them grow.
And through it all, you will feel burned out, often when your spouse is deployed.
You will wonder when you can catch up, when things feel more at peace, when things will get easier.
So to the burned out military spouse mama, take each day as it comes.
Make lists, to help you stay organized.
Find friends, those you can depend on, and have fun with.
Give yourself a break; you never have to be the perfect mother, just one that loves your kids and wants the best for them.
If your spouse is deployed, and the burned out feeling lasts a little too long, see what you can change about your routine. See what you can add or take away from your life. Find fun ways to celebrate the days you have already gone through.
Remember that nothing does last forever.
Your child will eventually sleep through the night, giving you more energy, and time to yourself.
Your son will eventually learn to use the bathroom, and won’t go to kindergarten in diapers.
Your daughter will eventually not throw a fit when you serve her vegetables.
As you raise your children, through each stage, you will get frustrated, you will be burned out, and you will figure out a way through.
Special needs mamas can have different struggles. As one myself, I know that my 11-year-old isn’t doing all the things that an 11-year old should. This can be so overwhelming sometimes.
But even with him, I see change, I see growth, and even though it often feels like two steps forward, one step back, we are improving.
So to the burned out military spouse mama, you got this.
Maybe it doesn’t feel like it today, maybe it feels like you will feel this way for a long time, but you got this.
Whatever the struggle, whatever you are dealing with, you got this.
No matter how long you will be solo parenting, no matter how difficult your kids might be at the moment, you got this.
