It’s not always easy to sit down and have a conversation with your service member. But as a military couple, it is super important to have conversations about different aspects of your lives, from kids and your home to both of your careers. And as you know, the military has a prominent place in a military couple’s relationship.
The military dictates so much about our lives, from when our spouse will live in the home to where that home will actually be. It can be stressful, especially if you aren’t sure you are on the same page.
That is why communication is so important. And there are certain conversations that military couples should be having. Here are 5 of them:
The Deployment Talk — Before It Happens
So they are deploying. They have the orders. And you are preparing. Sit down together and talk about expectations while you are apart.
Talk about how you will communicate, how bills will be handled, and different things for the children. Things can change quickly during a deployment, but going in with clear communication will go a long way in preparing you for what is to come.
The PCS & Home Base Talk
Some military families do have some say in a duty station. Some don’t. But it is always helpful to know what you want if you get the opportunity to make a choice. Do you want to go to Hawaii? What would it mean to be stationed overseas? Does being stationed an hour from home make sense?
And then the PCS itself. What will the move look like? What will each spouse do? What will need to be done to prepare the kids? There is certainly a lot to talk about before a PCS.
The Money & Future Talk
When two spouses talk about money, things can get really stressful, especially if you are coming at it from different points of view. But it’s important to talk about.
What will you do with any extra deployment money? What does your current budget look like vs a deployment one? How much will you spend on an after-deployment vacation?
The “What If” Talk
This is the hard stuff. The stuff civilian couples might not be talking about as much in their 20s and 30s. But it’s super important.
Do you have updated wills? What about POAs? What will happen if the service member gets injured, or even worse? Where will you go if the worst does happen? These conversations are worth having for both spouses.
The “Who Are We Outside the Military?” Talk
Sometimes it can be way too easy to lose sight of goals outside the military. But they are essential, especially for the military spouse.
It’s a great idea to talk to one another about what you want to do in the future, whether it is pursuing a specific career path, having children, or living in certain places. Your goals matter too. And you want to be able to express them to your spouse.
At the end of the day, everyone’s marriages are different. There are things you need to talk with your spouse about that your friend might not need to. The important thing is to be open with them, keep the lines of communication open, and never stop sharing your life with one another, even across the miles.
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