The pressure to be strong as a military spouse can show up in ways we don’t always talk about. As military spouses, we sometimes feel like we have to be the strong ones all the time. That we have to keep it together as much as possible, and that we can never break down and admit defeat.
Cultural expectations within the community
Within the military community, it can be very easy to assume others are doing well, acting strong, and that there is something wrong with you if you don’t feel the same. People have busy schedules and may have a smile on their face. However, we need to remember that there may be more going on beneath the surface.
Social media comparisons
We turn to social media, which, in some ways, can be a great place to find support, but we also see all the great things people are doing. We see everyone’s highlight reel. We see the good and not as much of the bad. It can be easy to assume that everyone else has it together when we don’t.
What strength actually looks like
The truth is, strength doesn’t just look like happy smiling faces and put-together schedules. Strength comes in many forms. From the mom who prays for her husband and children each and every night, to the mom of the service member who wonders when she will get to see her little boy again. From the women who work together to plan a 100-day party, to those behind the scenes, looking for ways to fit in a bit more.
Military life is hard, and as military spouses, we can find ourselves stressing out about pretty much anything. The pressure to be strong as a military spouse is there, making us feel like we have to be strong 100% of the time.
Remember, military spouse life is a journey. There will be ups and downs. Days you feel strong, and days you might need more encouragement.
Find what works for you, make plans, make friends, and remember… being strong can look different for each person. Try not to compare yourself; instead, focus on building a life that supports you through the ups and downs of military life.
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