How is your life different than you thought it would be? Did you think you would be a military spouse? Did you ever see this as the way your life was going to go?
Becoming a military spouse wasn’t something I dreamed about or planned for, even after I had met my husband. Being a military spouse wasn’t in my future. Being a military spouse wasn’t a part of the plan.
I got married in 2002 to a man who had already served in the military for a little over 2 years. He was only a few years shy of completing his 8 years of service. He was considered “Inactive Ready Reserve.”
That basically meant he could be called up but the military wasn’t really a part of his life anymore. When 9/11 happened, I did worry that he would get called up and wondered what it would be like to be a military wife, but by the time we got married that didn’t seem too likely. He was never called up while in the IRR.
I didn’t see myself as a Military Spouse and did not think that was something that would ever happen.
When I married my husband and thought about the future, the military just wasn’t a part of my dreaming. I never thought that I would solo parent for so long. I never thought I would go 11 months without seeing my husband. I never thought that the road we walked down together would lead to where it did.
I had been in long-distance relationships in the past and I didn’t want that in a marriage. I didn’t think that should be a part of a marriage. That was for people who were dating, right? That wasn’t for married couples.
I never thought I would have so much alone time in marriage. I never thought I would have to worry about my husband going to war. I never thought I would have to say goodbye to him and not know when and if he would return to me.
I had a coworker with a boyfriend who was a marine. They got married and then he went overseas. I remember watching her write love letters and I just couldn’t imagine that kind of life.
I had no idea that just three years later, I would be the one to write those love letters to my own husband who was overseas. When I saw her put the letter in the mailbox at work, I never thought that I too would be sending letters to a similar place to the man I was in love with.
Sometimes I wonder if all this sacrifice is worth everything we have gone through.
Sometimes I wonder what our life would have been like had he never joined the military. Sometimes I wonder if we should have picked a different path. Sometimes I just wonder if making this decision was the best thing to do.
There is so much sacrifice involved when it comes to living the military life. From the small things, like a drill weekend, to the big likes, like a long deployment.
When I married my husband, I was not planning this kind of life…but this is the life that I have and all I can do is look at the positives. I have to remember that life hardly ever turns out exactly how you planned it, no matter what you do or what type of job you have.
I have civilian friends doing things they never thought they would. This is just a part of being a human. Your journey is your journey and when you start you never know where the road might go.
No, I never planned on being a military spouse but I will do the best I can as I support my husband through whatever this life brings. Through the many separations. Through the ups and the downs. Through anything military life throws at us.
