When You Are Living a Military Life
I have lived in a military community ever since I got off the airplane in Germany back in 2006. I have been through seasons of deployment after deployment. I have watched my friends go through this too. I have gone through a few PCS moves myself, I can’t even count how many people I know going through one this year.
A military life can be so different than a civilian one. I have learned this over the years, both from personal experience and the experiences of other military spouses I have known.
The military life is unique, filled with so many challenges and frustrations. There is nothing like it.
When you are living a military life, you deal with deployments.
Sometimes this means your spouse is away for just a few months, other times they can be deployed for much longer, for a year, or even more.
Sometimes this means crying yourself to sleep because you miss them so very much, sometimes it means being a shoulder for your friend to cry on when she is missing hers.
Sometimes this means feeling sick to your stomach every time the doorbell rings, other times it means receiving a call that your spouse is okay, but did get injured and trying to digest what that all means.
When you are living a military life, you deal with pcsing
Sometimes this means moving from your hometown, across the ocean, to a small German village.
Sometimes this means being stationed somewhere you never wanted to go, for an unknown amount of time.
Sometimes this means being reunited with your best friend from four years ago because you are both getting stationed at the same duty station.
When you are living a military life, you will have to stand by your service member
Even when they return from deployment, and they don’t seem like the same person.
Even when you are not sure how to make things better.
Even when it seems like your spouse’s career always comes first.
When you are living a military life, you might need to walk away
Sometimes life really does get too hard.
Sometimes a marriage falls apart, despite your best efforts.
Sometimes, things can’t last forever like you want them to.
When you are living a military life, you might feel lonely at times
Your friends might move away.
You might move away.
And your life can be filled with so many hellos, then goodbyes.
When you are living a military life, you can get frustrated with your own career plans
You might want to work in your ideal job, but there are no openings for that type of job where you currently live.
You might apply, only to be rejected because of all the moves you have made in the past.
You might have to start over every few years, and that can make you feel like you just want to give up.
Being married to a service member will make you humble, will allow you to become more independent, and will help you grow in ways you never thought possible. But at the same time, the harsh realities of a military life can really get to us. Some days will be easier than others, some duty stations will be easier than others, and some deployments will be easier than others.
We will find what works, we will we find our strength, and we will figure out how to get through what is ahead.