My son was diagnosed with Autism when he was five years old. At the time, they called it Asperger’s, but they have since stopped giving that label. If he had been diagnosed today, it would be as autism spectrum disorder (ASD) level 1. Getting the diagnosis is a blessing. We were then able to learn how to help him.

Fast forward, and my son has just turned 18. He is officially an adult, finishing his senior year of high school. Looking back on his childhood, I can think of all I have learned from raising him. Having a child on the spectrum is so different from raising any other child. And my child on the spectrum is different from any other child with autism. What works for some won’t work for everyone, and as a parent, you are always trying to figure out the best way ahead.

Raising a Child On the Autism Spectrum

Creativity in parenting is a must!

There have been so many times when I struggled to figure out what to do next with parenting my son on the spectrum, but then a creative idea would come to me. And a lot of times, it would work.

Parenting a child with autism is a lot of pivoting from the norm and figuring out what works. When my son was younger, he would do almost anything for a Skylander. I have many memories of us in Toys R Us and him picking out a new one he had earned. It made him so happy, and they made great rewards for him.

Routines Routines Routines

Finding a good routine was also a must. But knowing that sometimes we would have to move away from it and planning ahead for that was also helpful. When my son knew what to expect, it made things so much easier. Even today, he always wants to know what the plan is.

Things Change

When my son was in elementary school, I worried he would always struggle with what he was working on. He had a lot of trouble in school, which was wearing me down. But what helped was hearing from parents of older kids on the spectrum and how they were doing as teenagers and young adults.

Kids on the autism spectrum learn how to handle specific challenges over time. Things are still hard for my son, but he is mature enough now to know he isn’t going to be having daily fits about them anymore. One of the most complex parts for my son is not having a say in his daily life or schedule. But at this age, he has much more control over his days.

Kids Will Shock You In a Good Way

We went to Disneyland in October of 2022, and my son, 15, wanted to take off by himself. I was pretty sure he was capable, but I worried about him. I told him to check in with me every hour. And you know what? He did amazing. I was so proud of him. Kids with autism will shock you and make you proud every day.

Pushing Them vs Helping Them

Over the years, one of the trickiest things for me is balancing pushing him out of his comfort zone or giving him the extra help he needs. It isn’t always so obvious what to do. And I know I have made some mistakes when it comes to this. But finding that balance is essential. It is good to push them so they can grow, but you also want to be aware that sometimes, that extra help is precisely what they need to get through something.

Tuning Out The Noise

Whenever autism comes up, whether online, in person, or even in the news and media, there are always different points of view. What you should use for therapy, what labels should be used, and what you should do for your child.

I have gotten a lot of advice over the years. Some of it was pretty good. Some of it was not. You have to be strong and stick to your guns sometimes. Not everyone is going to understand your path.

My Child is On Their Own Path

When my son’s senior year began, we started getting emails and mailers from colleges around the country. Colleges that he would never be interested in. Colleges that share all about campus life and all they offer. Colleges that maybe I would have wanted to attend at that age.

But my kid is on his own path, which looks different from the traditional path, and that’s okay. However, sometimes I have to fight feelings of jealousy over it. But I must remind myself that this transition to adulthood, his college experience, and everything after will look slightly different than the norm, which is okay.

Getting an autism diagnosis for your child can be challenging to take in. What will their life look like? 5 years? 10 years down the road? But it’s one of those things where you have to try your best, research, advocate, and, ultimately, know that you are doing what you can for your child.

You love them, you will help them, and you will meet goals, even if they take longer than you thought they would. There is something so unique and beautiful about raising a special needs child. I have learned so much over the years, and I hope he always knows how much we love and support him, even into the adult years.