• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

  • Home
    • My Disclosure Policy
    • My Privacy Policy
    • Contact Me
  • Advertise
  • The SWCL Shop
  • Duty Stations
  • My Writings
  • Military Life
    • Movies & TV
    • Disneyland
    • Books
    • Fort Campbell
  • So Your Spouse Just Deployed??? Click Here!!!
  • Looking for Writers?
You are here: Home / Marriage / 9 Things That Can Hurt a Military Marriage

9 Things That Can Hurt a Military Marriage

May 11, 2017 by Julie

9 Things That Can Hurt a Military Marriage

This August my husband and I will be celebrating our 15th anniversary. In some ways, it seems like we just walked down the aisle. But when I look at my wedding photos, I can see that many years have gone by since that day. For one thing, we look so young. I was 23; he was 26. My niece, our little flower girl, is now graduating from high school and all of our photos were done on film, years before the digital age started.

9 Things That Can Hurt a Military Marriage

I have learned a lot about marriage the last 15 years. I have also learned about what it means to be in a military marriage, about how to stay strong through deployments, about how to be the best wife I can be despite all the challenges that get thrown at us.

Check out The Blessing of a Military Marriage

military marriage

The truth is, there are things that can help a military marriage and things that will hurt a military marriage. Whether you just walked down the aisle or did so a while ago, here are nine things that can hurt a military marriage that you should be aware of.

1. Not communicating

Married couples should be talking to one another, but sometimes that is hard to do. Everyday life can get in the way; deployments can get in the way, the stress of everything can get in the way. Try to keep the lines of communication open.

If you can’t talk in person, write letters, email or plan to speak on the phone. Check in with one another and try to make plans to hang out, even if you feel like two ships passing in the night.

2. Cheating

Cheating can tear your marriage apart. Whether it is physical or not. Make sure you can protect your marriage. Make smart choices, especially when your spouse is away. Be the type of spouse that they can trust and not have to worry about when you are away from one another.

Set boundaries with other people. This will, of course, depend on your marriage but make sure you are on the same page. Some couples are okay with more social time with the opposite sex; others are not. Make sure you talk about expectations and what is normal for your marriage.

Check out10 Ways To Save Money When You Need To Be On A Tight Budget

3. Money

So many couples fight about money. When two people, who were raised differently, come together and create their family, there are going to be tensions about money. If one of you was raised with a spending mindset and the other with a saving mentality there is going to be friction when it comes to your budgets.

Make sure to spend time talking about your expectations, how much you should be spending, how much you should be saving, and figure out what your long-term goals are. Don’t hide money from each other and be honest about your spending.

Saving Money in the Military
4. Children

Having children will add stress to your marriage. They will take up a lot of your time, and their needs will come first. Try to keep the perspective and still make time for your spouse.

Have date nights, even if that means making a nice dinner after the kids go to bed and curling up on your couch to watch a Netflix movie. Talk about your parenting strategies. There are so many different ways to be a parent and arguments can come up when you are not on the same page about how to raise your children.

Deployments can complicate this as one parent can leave when a child is just a few months old and come home to a toddler. The parent who was at home has a system, and a plan and the deployed parent has to figure out how to be involved again.

Check out10 Ways to Help Your Kids During a Deployment

5. Being cruel

Don’t be cruel to your spouse. That is not going to take you down the right path. Be loving and patient with them. Don’t seek ways to hurt them and apologize when you do.

You know how they say never go to bed angry? That is pretty much true. Try your best to work things out in a kind matter and don’t be cruel and mean to each other. Not only is this destructive to your marriage, but kids can pick up on it too.

6. Acting immature

Being married means, you need to stop acting childish. Even if you married young. You are adults now, and you need to act like it.

Don’t try to live off of other people, work hard, and make the best of what you have. You will not be able to afford a brand new home right away, that might take years to get to a place where you can afford that. Be patient and know that over time things will change and you won’t always have to use a footlocker for your coffee table.

7. Taking bad advice

There is good advice and bad advice. Look to the people you trust and learn from them. Keep in mind that no one is in your marriage and no one can tell you exactly what to do. You can gain advice from others who have been there before and have wise words to say about whatever problem you are going through.

Be extra careful about family giving you advice. It could be very biased. If they never wanted you to get married in the first place, their advice might not help you in your current struggles. Find good friends that you trust to talk about your problems with.

8. Keeping things from your spouse

Don’t keep secrets from your spouse. Tell them what is going on and what they need to know. Of course, as military spouses, there will be times when we can’t talk to our husband or wife on a regular basis. Because of this, it can feel like we are keeping secrets.

If something is important, write it down and tell them later. When it comes to sharing things with them when they are overseas, think about their personality and ask them what they would want you to do. Some people do want to hear everything and others can’t handle that.

grass is always greener
9. Assuming the grass will always be greener

If you have been married a while, there will be things that start to annoy you about your spouse. Of course, this is going to happen, you are living together, raising a family together and you are going to get on each other’s nerves sometimes. This is not caused for your to walk away. Because the truth is, everyone will annoy you at some point. Don’t assume the grass is greener somewhere else. Water your grass and keep your vows in mind.


How long have you been married?

Last Updated on January 23, 2018 by Writer

Filed Under: Marriage, Military Life Tagged With: marriage, military marriage, military spouse, Milspouse

About Julie

Owner of Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life. Writer, reader, coffee drinker. Mom to three boys, wife of a National Guard soldier. Living life in Tennessee.

Previous Post: « How to Have a Good Mother’s Day When You Are the Only Adult in the House
Next Post: Going Down the Long Deployment Road »

Reader Interactions

Trackbacks

  1. My Top Military Spouse Posts of 2017 says:
    December 27, 2017 at 10:00 am

    […] 10. 9 Things That Can Hurt a Military Marriage– There are certain things that can hurt a military marriage. There are certain things to watch out for during this life. This post brings up some reasons why a marriage can break down. It is good to be aware of what they might be. […]

Primary Sidebar

Archives

About Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life

Welcome to Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life! I am so glad you are here.

My name is Julie and I have been a military spouse for 17 years!

My husband of 20+ years has served in the active-duty Army and now the Army National Guard. We have lived in Germany & Tennessee during our time as a military family.

We have three boys and have been through four deployments together.

I hope that you can find support for your own deployments, PCS moves, or anything else military life brings you🙂

Sign up for your FREE Guide to the First 30 Days of Deployment!


Thank you!

Check your email for confirmation!

.

Copyright © 2023 Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life on the Foodie Pro Theme

We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. By clicking “Accept”, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies.
Cookie settingsACCEPT
Manage consent

Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience.
Necessary
Always Enabled
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously.
CookieDurationDescription
cookielawinfo-checbox-analytics11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Analytics".
cookielawinfo-checbox-functional11 monthsThe cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Functional".
cookielawinfo-checbox-others11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Other.
cookielawinfo-checkbox-necessary11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-performance11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance".
viewed_cookie_policy11 monthsThe cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. It does not store any personal data.
Functional
Functional cookies help to perform certain functionalities like sharing the content of the website on social media platforms, collect feedbacks, and other third-party features.
Performance
Performance cookies are used to understand and analyze the key performance indexes of the website which helps in delivering a better user experience for the visitors.
Analytics
Analytical cookies are used to understand how visitors interact with the website. These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc.
Advertisement
Advertisement cookies are used to provide visitors with relevant ads and marketing campaigns. These cookies track visitors across websites and collect information to provide customized ads.
Others
Other uncategorized cookies are those that are being analyzed and have not been classified into a category as yet.
SAVE & ACCEPT