We have all heard people say it, in the middle of our deployments, “you knew what you signed up for when you became a military spouse.“
Only…we didn’t. Whether we married someone already serving or made that decision together, there is no way any of us could have known how difficult military life could be. No road map tells you exactly how you will feel when your spouse of 10 years has to leave for a year. We simply get through these difficult situations the best way that we can.
But as military spouses, there are some things we signed up for…
That we will support our spouses
We might not know how supporting our spouse will look like over the years, but we committed to doing so. That is what spouses should do for one another, military or not. Being there for one another, no matter the circumstance.
Whether that is standing by during a deployment or helping them through training. Whether it is being faithful during time apart or working hard to make sure they get any help they might need after a deployment.
That we will love on our children
No matter what happens, we military spouses are committed to helping our children through whatever it is they are going to have to go through. We might not always know the best way to help them, but we will figure out how to do so. We will fill the role of both mom and dad, doing what we can when our service member is away.
That we will be a part of the community
The military community is a good one. There are a lot of supportive people that we can connect with. Whether it is through your FRG or MOPS community, befriending others in your neighborhood, or finding a good friend in an online group. Although sometimes finding your tribe isn’t easy, know that there are plenty of good military spouses out there to befriend and get to know.
That we love our country
At the end of the day, we love our country. We see the reason why our spouse has to serve, why someone has to serve, why we need to have a strong military. Whether we have an R or a D behind our name or are not even sure where we belong, we love our country and our military and want the best for it.
Not only for the sake of our own spouses and families but for all the other men and women who are serving. We know that this life means sacrifice, even when that is hard. We know that we will have to give things up, even if we don’t want to. We know it is all for a bigger purpose.
That we can be patient
We might be heartbroken when our spouse’s deployment gets extended,we might vent about where we have to PCS to next, we might hate the fact that we can’t ever rely on our spouse to help us put the kids to bed but overall, military spouses are patient.
We have to be. We are always waiting and waiting, even when it seems like we should already have what we are waiting for. We wait for paperwork to get done, we wait for a deployment to end, and we wait for orders to get cut. We know waiting is part of the deal, and we do the best we can, even if the waiting drives us nuts.
While we don’t know what we signed up for with aspects of military life, we know what we can bring to the table. We know that we can support our spouses, that we can love on our children, that we can be a part of the military community, that we love our country, and that we can be patient.
None of these things are easy, but they are in our heart as we strive to make our way through this crazy military life.
What is the most difficult part of military life for you?