Some days are better than others. This is true for everyone. Whether you are married to a member of the military, married to a teacher, married to a CEO, or married to a truck driver. This is true even if you are not married at all. Having bad days is a part of life.
Over the years I have had bad days because of deployments and bad days when my husband has been home. I have had bad days right after a PCS and bad days when we have been living in the same place for three years. I have had bad days when I didn’t have anyone to talk with and bad days when I have been surrounded by good friends.
So to you military spouse who is having a bad day, know that not all days will feel this way.
If your husband just deployed, know that your bad days will get better and that you will find the tools will get you through the rest of the deployment.
If you are missing your best friend who just moved away, know that you can still be best friends and that you will make new friends in the future.
If your kids are not listening and you are about to lose your mind if you have to spend one more day solo parenting, know that kids grow out of their annoying stages and you move on. You find new tools to keep in your parenting toolkit. And that you won’t always have to be a solo parent.
If you are having a bad day because you just lost your job, a job you loved, know that there will be more jobs to love in the future. You won’t always be out of work. Keep on trying, and you will find a job you love again in the future.
If your paycheck isn’t reaching as far lately, if the extras that come from life are getting to you, know that you can figure out a way out of this situation. Go back to your budget and see what you can do to make your bank account happy again.
If you want to find a new career path and you feel like you have nothing to give, you do. Take a step back and think of all the skills you have, redo your resume, and start applying for jobs.
If you feel lost and scared because your husband just got orders overseas, to a place that scares you, know that you will get through that deployment just like you got through the rest of them.
If you are upset because you were hoping for orders to the duty station 20 minutes from your childhood home, and you get them for a place across the country, know that your experiences there can still be good ones. Plus, moving there will give your family a chance to visit you in a completely different place.
Whatever it is you are dealing with, whatever is making you have a bad day, know that this too shall pass.
Life is all about change. Jobs change, friends change, and children change. Look and see what you can do to make life better and let the rest of it go.
As military spouses, we don’t have control over deployments, or where we will live, or what life will bring us. We do have control over how we handle deployments, what we do in our communities, and how we handle the bad as well as the good days.
So to the military spouse who is having a bad day, I get it. I have plenty of bad days myself. This week has been full of them. But I have to remind myself that tomorrow is another day, that things will change, and that overall things are pretty amazing.
Taking a step back to look at what you have instead of what you don’t can help with your mood. Remember years past when things didn’t seem so great but then ended up working out in the end. And be a person others can go to when they are not having the best of days themselves.
What do you do when you are having a bad day? How do you get to a better place?