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You are here: Home / Military Children / The Best Time for a Military Family to Have a Baby

The Best Time for a Military Family to Have a Baby

January 9, 2010 by Julie 7 Comments

 

When IS the best time for a military family to have a baby?When IS the best time for a military family to have a baby?

I think this is something that a lot of military wives struggle with.  With all these deployments and not much time at home, how do you plan the perfect time to have a baby?  Is it better they miss the pregnancy but are there for the birth?  What if you plan it perfectly but then deployment orders change?  What if it takes longer than you think to get pregnant?

Deciding to have AJ seemed easy.  We had been apart for 4.5 months while DW and I were waiting on Command Sponsorship.  When we got to Germany we just decided to see what would happen.  When Ben left for Iraq we thought that he would be home when the baby was about 3 months old.  At the end of the deployment, he was 11 months old.  I have several friends that got pregnant on R&R that deployment.  They were due about 2 months after the guys were supposed to be home.  It was ideal!  They would not miss the birth and should be home for most of that first year.  But then we got extended and a lot of the dads missed the whole pregnancy and didn’t meet the child until they were a few months old.

You can plan what you can but things always seem to change.  When my husband got home in Nov 2007 I knew that I wanted another baby but I knew I did not want one in Germany.  I also knew I did not want to go through another deployment in Germany with 3 kids.  I know a lot of people do it and I know I could have done it if it was what happened, but I didn’t want to plan for it.

I have talked with a lot of my military wife friends about what would be easier.  They miss the birth but then get to enjoy an older baby?  They miss the pregnancy but can be there for the birth?  They are there through it all but miss the 2nd year?  I don’t think there is one right answer.

My husband was with me during the first part of pregnancy.  I was sick and tired all the time.  I would not look forward to going through that without him.  He missed the birth even though they tried to send him home in time.  I could do another birth without him but I do not want to.  He was there when DW was born and I hate that he missed out on that with AJ.  He was gone during the early months of his life which in a way made things easier at night.  I didn’t have to worry about waking him up when I had to nurse.  But then the extra help is missing too.  I also felt like it was harder for him to bond with AJ.  He got to see him on R&R; when he was a few weeks old but then didn’t get to see him again until he was almost a toddler.   This made bonding with him a lot harder.  Not that it hasn’t happened because it has; just it took a lot longer than it would have.

Both deployments left me with a new 2-year-old.    Hopefully,  that won’t happen again.  He hasn’t ever missed the first steps but has missed first words.  I think as military wives we know they will miss something.  We know other wives have been through it.  We know we will get through it.  We know it is all a part of the lifestyle.  But it still doesn’t make it very easy.

I take a ton of pictures which I know helps but I need to be better about taking videos of the kids.  Hopefully the Flip will help with that 🙂

So when is the best time to have a baby in the military?  Who knows!!! You just have to decide for yourself and see what happens.

 

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Filed Under: Military Children, Motherhood Tagged With: Deployment, Having a baby in the military, military living, military wife, military wife blog, military wives

About Julie

Owner of Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life. Writer, reader, coffee drinker. Mom to three boys, wife of a National Guard soldier. Living life in Tennessee.

I wanted to let you know about the InDependent Wellness Summit, March 1-6, 2021! 

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. jessica lynn

    January 6, 2012 at 1:05 pm

    Thanks for commenting on my guest post today over at Singing Through the Rain. We definitely don't know what's in store for us, but it's nice knowing other women have been there and done that before. Having support, even if it's online, will be nice.

    Reply
    • juliedanielle

      January 11, 2012 at 11:27 am

      I think it really does help to know others have been through it before.

      Reply
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  4. Debra

    June 6, 2016 at 2:28 pm

    My first baby was born about halfway through a deployment. My husband had tried to schedule his R&R for the birth, but baby decided to come 2 weeks early! I’m forever grateful for the nurses who held up a computer with a webcam so my husband could see the whole birth on Skype. Creative thinking and teamwork can get you through anything! Great post!

    Reply

Trackbacks

  1. Waiting, Just Waiting | Julie the Army Wife says:
    October 26, 2010 at 6:56 pm

    […] military wife means your husband could miss the birth of your child.  It happens to a lot of us.  Despite how much you plan it.  Our “plan” was to get pregnant with #3 right after Ben got back from Iraq.  Then we […]

    Reply
  2. Tweets that mention Babies and the Military Life | Julie the Army Wife -- Topsy.com says:
    January 21, 2011 at 9:16 pm

    […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Army OneSource, Julie the Army Wife. Julie the Army Wife said: From the Archives: Babies and the Military Life – When IS the best time for a military family to have a… http://tinyurl.com/4zoxent […]

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Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

Welcome to Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life! I am so glad you are here.

My name is Julie and I have been an Army wife for almost 15 years now.

My husband of 18 years has served in the active-duty Army and now the Army National Guard. We have lived in Germany & Tennessee during our time as a military family.

We have three boys and have been through four deployments together.

I hope that you can find support for your own deployments, pcs moves, or anything else military life brings you 🙂

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