Being in a military marriage can be pretty unique, depending on your situation. Moving every few years, saying goodbye for months at a time, and living in a military community has its ups and downs.
What is the secret to a happy military marriage?
Well, here you go…in GIFS!
Don’t sweat the small stuff. Even though they can’t seem to ever put their clothes IN the laundry basket.
Be forgiving. Even if they have to go away for training during your kid’s spring break, for the third year in a row. Remember, the military is making them do this.
Have a regular date night. Even if that means having a special dinner after the kids go to bed because you just finished a PCS and don’t know a single person to watch your kids.
Write love letters. Just don’t forget to actually put them in the mail and send them. Sure, they can read them when they get home, or four years later when you are cleaning out your desk.
Remember, both of your careers matter. Even if the military makes it hard to follow yours. Through five different states in eight years. Can I transfer my license here?
Listen to each other, even if the connection isn’t the best and you can only talk for 5 minutes at a time during a deployment.
Remember, deployments don’t last forever, even if it seems like they have been gone for 43 years.
Don’t compare your relationship to the highlights of other relationships. You never know what is really going on behind an Instagram filter.
Seek extra outside help if you need it. I know TRICARE can be a pain sometimes, but they do cover counseling to help you and your spouse out.
Be honest. About what you are dealing with, about your career path, and about how you feel when they hog the bathroom. Oh wait, would you consider that “small stuff?”
Talk to one another about your finances. You have to get on the same page about how to spend your money, and you need to let them know that the Walt Disney World military discount is an amazing one!
Learn your spouse’s personality. This is something that can take some time to figure out. The longer you are married, the easier it will be to figure it out. And if you are stuck, you can always take a Buzzfeed quiz about them.
Help one another out. We all have our strengths and weaknesses. For example, you hate to cook, they love the kitchen. You are handy with tools, they would rather hire someone to fix whatever is broken. You love finding a new place to live after a PCS, they got sick of that years ago.
Keep your promises. For example, if you say you will wait for them to watch the next season of Blue Bloods, wait for them. If you don’t, they will know. They always know.