Happy to have this guest post by Hannah. Please email me at Julie@soldierswifecrazylife.com and let me know if you would like to write a guest post for Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life too.
You will never know how it feels sending the person you love the most, the person you built your life with, off to a war zone.
You will never know the heart wrenching fears that run through our mind.
You will never know the deep breath we take when your child asks, “Mommy, What if daddy doesn’t come home?”.
You will never know the courage it takes to explain to your children what daddy is doing, and why it makes him a REAL hero.
You will never know the longing we have for our spouse. Longing for their touch, and simply just their presence.
You will never know the heartbreak of holding your crying child who misses their other parent.
You will never know what it’s like going a year without holding your spouse’s hand, giving them a kiss, or just being able to look into their eyes.
You will never know the feeling of uncomfortable quietness while waiting for the phone call to assure you that your spouse is okay.
You will never know how it feels hoping and praying you don’t get “that” knock on the door. All while knowing the reality of the situation- it COULD happen.
You will never know the dreadful feeling in our stomach the night before they deploy.
You will never know how differently we look at other couples, only reminiscing on our own memories with our deployed spouse.
You will never know the thought of honesty that crosses our mind when someone asks us how we are doing today.
You will never know the heartbreaking sympathy we have for our Gold Star Families.
You will never know the warm feeling that runs through our heart, when we read or hear “God Bless America”
You will never know how much we value time spent with our spouse.
You will never know how hard it was to be strong.
You will never know the ache behind our smile.
You will never know how hard it is for us to ask for help.
You will never know how easy it is to love someone who is thousands of miles away, across the ocean.
You will never know how you’re brought closer in your marriage than you ever were before.
There’s something about being a military spouse that makes us all special. The hurt, the pain, and the sacrifice that we also go through. Being a military spouse is not for the weak. We are forced to reach down and find our inner strength. Not only does that make us incredibly brave, but it also makes us a little bit of a badass.
Often times I hear people say, “I don’t know how you do it.” Or “I could never do it.” Often times I find myself sitting there, wishing I had a friend to call. A friend who actually understood what I was going through. It then hit me that none of my civilian friends would understand the struggles I go through as a military spouse. It’s not a conversation that is carried on when brought up.
Because when you are not a military spouse, there are things that you will never quite understand. Things that bond us, military spouses, together. A connection that is instantly made. A deeper feeling of understanding that no one else will ever know unless you are a military spouse.
My name is Hannah, wife of a soldier, sweary mom of 2, running off coffee and chaos, living in Louisiana!