Mistakes You Might Make As A New Military Spouse
I was 26 years old when I became a military spouse. Other spouses were a lot younger and some were even older when they joined this life. No matter how old you were when you became a military family, there is going to be a learning curve. You won’t be able to understand how everything works right away. You might make some mistakes. It’s bound to happen.
Over my time as a military spouse, I have made some mistakes too. Figuring out how the military works takes time.
Here are a few examples of mistakes you might make as a new military spouse…
Going Over His Chain Of Command- Going over your husband’s chain of command is a big no-no. You don’t want to do that. Doing so will upset people and could come down to your own husband getting in trouble. There will be plenty of times when a command comes down and you will want your husband to do something about it. Usually, they can’t. Remember that there is a chain of command for a reason. Be respectful of it.
The Military Has To Come First- The military has to come first most of the time. Your spouse will have to go where the military sends them. It doesn’t really matter that you are going to have a baby in the middle of a deployment. You can ask for him to be sent home but know that no one has to make that happen for you. This is one of the hardest things to learn about military life. A good Command will try to help families when they can but because of the mission that isn’t always possible.
Not Trying to Make Friends- You are in a new place trying to get used to your new life. It can be way too easy to stay at home and not try to get out there and make friends. See what you can do to get out of your house and go to places where you can make friends. Doing this might be scary, especially if you are shy. But I have learned that putting yourself out there will eventually make you friends. Even if it takes a long time. Find things you would enjoy doing anyway and keep trying. Military spouse life is better with friends.
The Toll- Sometimes it is hard to understand the toll that military life can take on you. As a wife. As a mother. As a woman. As a human. There will be a lot of situations that you will have to go through that will seem impossible when you first hear about them. You need to try to take care of yourself. You need to find ways to smile even if your spouse is gone. To enjoy life even when life is stressful. Remember that military life can take a toll but the experiences you will go through will also help make you stronger.
Letting The Fear Overtake you- There is a lot to be fearful of during military life. Even more so when they are deployed in a war zone. Don’t let that fear overtake you. The reality is, something could happen to your spouse. However, if you live in fear about that happening every day, you will go crazy. You need to figure out a way to keep your fear in check. That could be different for each person. Some people will find comfort from their religion. Others will have a good friend they can go to and talk about what they are scared of. Figure out how you can handle the fear and don’t let it overtake you.
No one is a perfect military spouse. You will make mistakes along the way. But you can learn from them. Your military life is a journey. One in which you will always be growing and learning along the way. Do the best that you can, learn what you can and you will find that you will slowly start to figure everything out.