Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

Life as a Military spouse

How You Know You Are a Military Spouse

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How you know you are a military spouse

How You Know You Are a Military Spouse

Here is how you know you are a military spouse…

When you have no idea when you will see your spouse again, it could be May; it could be September, who knows?

When you have no idea what your spouse’s co-worker’s first names are.

how you know you are a military spouse

When you are up for any adventure, even though it scares you to death.

When you always have two IDs on you, military and your driver’s license.

When your driver’s license is not for the state you live in, and your license plate doesn’t match either.

How you know you are a military spouse

When a two-week training is a fun time to catch up on Call the Midwife and not a big deal compared to all the other times you have had to be apart.

When your grocery shopping plans are based on the 1st and the 15th and if you feel brave enough to go to the commissary on those days.

When you only write dates down in your planner in pencil, because you know they will always change.

When you laugh at the thought of going out to dinner with you friends and putting your phones away. That would never work in your military spouse circles.

how you know you are a military spouse

When you get excited to find out a friend from two duty stations ago is moving to your current installation.

When you can’t bring up the FRG without hearing about how wonderful it can be and how horrible it can be, by different people.

When the “sandbox” has nothing to do with the place your kids play when you are at the park.

When 21:00 or 14:30 is not confusing to you.

When you know that saying goodbye won’t ever get any easier.

When you have curtains that won’t fit on any of your windows, but you can’t get rid of them because you are moving next summer, and they could work in your new home.

When your future depends on one person signing a piece of paperwork in a timely manner.

how you know you are a military spouse

When you say, “see you later” even if you worry you might not see that person again. Saying, “goodbye” would be harder.

When you have given birth without your husband at least once or have ever had the worry that you might have to do so.

When you love wine, coffee, and diet Dr. Pepper, or at least two of the three.

When your life is very different than you ever thought it would be.

When you have been asked at least once if your life is like they show on Army Wives.

When none of your children have been born in the same state.

When none of your children have been born in the same country.

how you know you are a military spouse

When “war” means so much more than just what you read about in the history books.

When the thought of giving up Facebook makes you cringe since most of your family and friends do not live near you.

When you don’t know what it is like to live near your family.

When you know the difference between MWR, DEERS, and PCS.

When you are super thankful for any military discount a company is willing to give out.

When you realize you are a part of an incredible group of people, who also understand what it is like to miss someone so much, to give up so much, and to be the people who support those that have volunteered to serve our country and keep it safe.

What would you add to this list???

A Military Spouse For All Seasons

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It’s fall! As I look out the window I can see the colors of the trees. I love how beautiful the fall in Tennessee is. Watching the leaves change is also a reminder of a new season approaching and the old one letting go.

As military spouses, our lives can be broken up into seasons. At first, we are a new spouse, asking all the questions. Then we become more seasoned and find ourselves offering advice.

We go through seasons of deployment, then reintegration, and then deployment once again. Hoping that we can take what we have learned from the past and apply it to the future. Hoping the next deployment is a little easier, even if deployments don’t work that way.

We go through seasons of pcsing. Our spouse gets orders to a new place. We research and learn as much as we can. We prepare and countdown the days. Then moving day arrives and we travel to our new home.

At first, we don’t know where anything is and have to ask for directions to the PX. But time passes and we find our community. We find our place. Knowing that there will be another PCS again in the future.

We go through seasons of “normal” life when our spouse comes home from work just like other spouses do. We spend the weekends together as a family, and life just goes on. But we can’t completely relax because we know things can and will change again in the future.

We find new friends and get to know one another, getting excited about what we have in common. If we are lucky we can spend years together, knowing one day the military will cause us to have to part. But we cherish the time we have together as much as we can because we know how quickly things can change.

As the seasons change, so do our lives. We might live in the south, soaking up the humidity, and swatting away the bugs, and the next year we will be sitting by a fire in Germany, wondering when the snow will actually melt.

The seasons with our kids change as well. That first deployment we might have babies, and by the fifth one, teenagers. No two deployments are the same and this is one of the biggest reasons why. The seasons of our lives have changed and so do our challenges.

As you go through these changes, remember, the bad seasons do not last forever and through them, there are so many lessons for us to learn. During the easier seasons of life, we might be able to reach out and help others on their own military journey.

If you are sick of your duty station, don’t worry, seasons will change and you will be on the move once again.

If you are sick of a deployment, remember, the days do pass and you will be at the end, and into a new season of them being home.

If you are struggling with your kids, struggling with work, or struggling in general, you can find ways to help. You can figure out what you can do to make life a little easier. And you can remember that this is just a season in your life, and things won’t always be this way.

I know this fall season that I love will pass quickly. One day I will look up at the trees and see most of them have lost their colors. I will start needing a jacket everywhere I go, and might even see some snowflakes. This will be a reminder to me that seasons change in the world, just like they do in my military life.

What season are you going through right now?

So What Can You Do When Military Life Gets Too Hard?

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Military life is a rollercoaster. You will have your good days and your bad ones. You will have highs and you will have lows. You will be waiting for orders for months and months and then you get them and before you know it you are on a plane headed to your next duty station.

It’s a strange way to live your life, always waiting and then not waiting and hoping and crying and then laughing. Your emotions are all over the place.

When you hit a difficult season of Military life, it can be hard to know what to do. You want to think positively, but doing so is hard. You want to keep busy, but all you really want to do is hide in your bed. You want to remember that this too shall pass but all you see is more lonely nights, more frustrating days, and years of feeling like your life can never be normal again.

So what do you do when you hit this point? What can you do to get out of it?

Find Friends

Find your friends. Maybe you don’t feel like you can see them in person, or maybe they live too far away. You can still connect.

Send a text message, schedule a friend’s Zoom call, or make plans to meet up sometime in the future.

Friends are a must during military life. They can get you through the hard times, and help you make memories together. And they can pull you out when you are feeling like the military is just too much to handle.

Journal Journal Journal

If you don’t already keep a journal, why not start? Pick out a new journal, and just start writing. You can make it the way you want, and just write out your feelings.

The best thing about journaling is that no one can judge what you write. And putting things down on paper can help you get to a better place. A journal is a must during a deployment, or anytime the military is driving you crazy.

Remember the Past

Remember what you have been through before. A long deployment? A move to a place you never wanted to go? And think about how you got through all of that.

When you remember what you have been through, it makes it easier to go through something else in the future. You are strong, and you can look back and see evidence of that. You might just need a reminder.

What CAN You Change

In the end, you have to figure out what YOU can change and what YOU have control over. So many times in military life we as spouses have zero control, but that doesn’t mean we just have to live with everything the way that it is.
What can we do to make things a little bit easier back at home? What changes can we make to our daily schedules? Once you start looking at what you can change, and work on those things, it makes it a little easier to accept the things you can’t.

Have you ever felt like Military life was a little too much at times? What have you done to get through it?

What to Think About Before You Marry a Service Member

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What to Think About Before You Marry a Service Member

Whatever situation you are in or whatever situation you have been in, you did have to make the decision to become a military spouse. You had to decide that YES, you wanted to spend your life with someone who is in the military. That YES, you wanted your future to include the military.

So, what does being married to someone in the military mean? What would life be like to marry your boyfriend who is now a soldier? What does it mean when your husband of five years wants to join the Marines?

What would it mean to marry the person you are in love with knowing that marrying them meant moving across the country and living as a military spouse?

Here are some things you need to think about when trying to make this decision:

Saying Goodbye Will Be A Part Of Your Life

No matter who you are or what type of military spouse you are, you will have to say goodbye and often. You will have to sleep alone. You will have to wait for orders and your future.

This is all a part of military life. How long they are gone and how often they will go can vary but the truth is, you will have to say goodbye to your spouse on a regular basis. And it is not an easy thing to do.

You Will Have To Be Away From Home

If your spouse is going to be going Active duty military, you most likely will have to move away from home. In some cases, you can try to stay if your home is near a military installation or if your spouse does some type of duty that allows him to live close by to where you are from.

However, in most cases, you will not be able to stay there for their entire career and you will have to move away. You could end up across the country, across the world, or just the next state over. You never really know and sometimes you don’t get a say, especially as they move up in rank.

The Kid Thing

Ahh, kids. When you are thinking about the future and having kids, do you think about how your spouse might not be there? It’s a sad reality that they might miss your pregnancy, the birth, and the 1st year.

They could miss the terrible 2s or kindergarten. They could miss out on so much and sometimes there is nothing you can do about that but accept that. Can you handle that?

Here is a secret. You might think you can’t handle that, but…you might be surprised what you can do when you love a member of the military.

I thought I couldn’t do that part of military life, not at first. In the end, I have been able to get through it, and at some points, it was even harder than I thought. But in the end, I just do what I have to do.

Some military couples don’t plan to have kids while in the military. Their plan is to have them later on in life and that is an option as well. But that also depends on how long they want to stay in and when the couple wants to start their family.

Solo parenting is quite challenging, but you will find that you are not alone when you have to do it. So many military spouses will be solo parenting with you, which makes things a bit easier.

The “D” Word

Your spouse might deploy for just a few months at a time. They might deploy for a year. They might have to deploy off and on for years.

There is no way to sugar coat a deployment. They are rough, from the pre-deployment stage to after they come home and everyone tries to get back to normal life. If there are no deployments, there will be trainings or other reasons they have to go away for weeks or months at a time.

The Community

I have talked about the difficult parts of military life. The parts that make it hard to want to commit to this life. The reasons some people get out of the military before they thought they would. But what about the good things about military life?

As hard as this life gets, you won’t be alone in going through your challenges. There is an amazing military community out there. Many other spouses have gone through what you are going through.

Other military spouses get this life and can offer a listening ear. You will make some of your closest friends as military spouses. Friends that will help you through solo parenting, deployments, pcsing, and even retirement.

Is It Worth It?

Is military life worth it? Is your love worth it? Only you can answer that.

Only you know what you can handle and what you can’t.

I will tell you that if in your heart of hearts that you know you should be with this person, and that walking away from them is not an option, you can find ways to make it as a military spouse.

So many of us are doing it right now, taking military life one day at a time. And we are here to support you in your own military spouse journey.

What are you most worried about when it comes to committing to military life?

15 Quotes to Get You Through Difficult Times

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15 Quotes to Get You Through Difficult Times

Deployments, PCSing, pandemics, missing friends, missing loved ones, feeling homesick, and dealing with the day to day life can be a bit much some times. We are all only human after all. I love that reading other people’s words can help us through difficult times, at least in some small way.

Wise words from others who have been through difficult times. Wise words from others who get it. Wise words that we can take with us in the future, through other difficult times.

Here are 15 of them that might just help you through whatever it is you are dealing with, whether it is trying to homeschool your children when you never signed up for that, or waiting for an extended deployment to be over.

“In times of great stress or adversity, it’s always best to keep busy, to plow your anger and your energy into something positive.” – Lee Iacocca

“All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” – J.R.R. Tolkien, ‘The Fellowship of the Ring’

“I learned there are troubles of more than one kind. Some come from ahead, others come from behind. But I’ve bought a big bat. I’m all ready, you see. Now my troubles are going to have trouble with me.” – Dr. Seuss

“Promise me you’ll always remember: You’re braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” – Christopher Robin to Pooh, A.A. Milne

“Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.”- Dale Carnegie

“And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.”- Haruki Murakami

“Every adversity, every failure and every heartache carries with it the seed of an equivalent or a greater benefit.” – Napoleon Hill

“Nobody trips over mountains. It is the small pebble that causes you to stumble. Pass all the pebbles in your path, and you will find you have crossed the mountain.” – Author Unknown

“Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass, it’s about learning how to dance in the rain.”- Vivian Greene

“If you can’t fly then run, if you can’t run then walk, if you can’t walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.

“We are all dealing with a challenge of some kind. Some of us are just better at hiding it than others.”- Karen Salmansohn

“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I’ll try again tomorrow.” – Mary Anne Radmacher

“Be strong and courageous; do not be frightened or dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” – Joshua 1:9 

“When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it.” – Henry Ford

“We may encounter many defeats but we must not be defeated.” – Maya Angelou

What are your favorite quotes for going through difficult times???

9 Times You Just Have to Laugh During Military Life

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9 Times You Just Have to Laugh During Military Life

When faced with a difficult situation, sometimes the only thing to do is laugh. Sometimes during military life, you will feel like what you are going through is so ridiculous, that you can’t even get upset. Plus, laughter really is the best medicine.

Here are 9 times you just have to laugh during military life:

1. When your spouse gets orders to a place you said you never wanted to go.

If you have ever said, “I just don’t ever want to be stationed X,” and then the military gives your spouse orders for X, you just kinda have to laugh. And maybe not say that again in the future. They are listening.

2. When you make friends in the strangest places

You are probably assuming you are going to go out there and make friends through your kid’s soccer team, or even the FRG meeting. But sometimes, we make friends in the strangest ways. From connecting with another spouse who has also been waiting over an hour at the doctor’s office, to someone who is from your home state, who you instantly connect with just because of that.

3. When you accidentally hand the gate guard your credit card

If you haven’t done this before, you probably will eventually. And when you do, hopefully, your gate guard has a sense of humor and makes a funny joke about your mistake. Then you can share with your friends and laugh together.

4. When the homecoming date gets changed so many times, you just give up and hope they are home before your next birthday

It’s so hard when the homecoming date gets changed but at some point, you just have to laugh. Dear military, get things together and bring my spouse home already! Thanks!

5. When people think your life is just like the show Army Wives

No, nope, no, no, no. Just like any show based on any career path, say Grey’s Anatomy, things are pretty much only sorta true sometimes, and usually very wrong. Now you can let the person now how different military really is.

6. When you told someone you could never do a thing and the military makes you do a thing

There are so many times this has happened to me. From PCSing overseas to going through another deployment. At one time I even said that I could never solo parent. Truth is, you can do more than you think you can. That’s how we get through military life.

7. When your friend from Fort Bragg becomes your friend at Fort Campbell

This is a fun experience to laugh about. Sometimes you might make a friend at one duty station, and then surprise, five years later, they can be your friends at another. In some ways, your service member’s branch isn’t as big as you think it is and you can be reunited with people you really love. Thank you Military!

8. When people ask when you will be able to visit home again

Hahahaha…if only they knew how hard that was. Between deployments, a PCS, and the cost of airfare, it’s hard to know if and when you can visit. Plans always seem to change and nothing is certain until after the fact. Maybe it is better if your family comes and visits you?

9. When things work out the way they are supposed to

One time, my husband’s R&R was changed, and I had to cancel a trip to Walt Disney World. On the other hand, that meant his R&R was over our anniversary and we were able to plan an amazing anniversary trip. I couldn’t believe how it worked out. You almost have to laugh that everything worked out the way it did. Although I am still waiting to go to Walt Disney World, so…

I hate being stressed out all the time. And yet, that is my natural reaction to a lot of what happens in the military life. That is why I think it is important to laugh when you can. Laugh at the little things, laugh at the big things, and work towards a more balanced life.

What makes you laugh about military life???

Why You Don’t Have to Buy Bottles For Your Breast Pump

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The Breastfeeding Shop

This is a sponsored post by the Breastfeeding Shop. 

Why You Don’t Have to Buy Bottles For Your Breast Pump

If you don’t know already, TRICARE has an amazing benefit for pregnant or new moms. You can receive one breast pump for every birth event from TRICARE through a company like The Breastfeeding Shop. They will help you receive your pump through their website.

In addition to a breast pump, you can also receive free breast pump supplies which includes bottles. This means, you don’t have to buy any on your own, you can get them with your benefit. When you are using a breast pump, a good bottle is a must. You will need to them to be able to feed your baby. While some breast pumps use bags, others you can connect the bottles right to the machines for easier feeding.

Here are a few things to know about receiving bottles and other breast pump accessories from the Breastfeeding Shop:

  • You can only receive the additional accessories after the birth event.
  • If you have already received your initial pump and accessories and your baby has been born, you must wait 60 days to reorder.
  • Your bottles will come with an accessory kit.
  • Your accessory kit will depend on the brand of your breast pump. For those with Medela, Ameda, and Spectra pumps, you will receive specific accessory kits for those brands. All other pumps will receive the same type of kit.
  • You can order breast milk storage bags and flanges separately.
  • The Breastfeeding Shop has an easy TRICARE accessory kit order form you can fill out online.
  • If you don’t want to order online, you can also order over the phone by calling them at 866-255-6779.

If you are curious about how to receive your pump in the first place or are looking for more information about this benefit and The Breastfeeding Shop, check out these posts to help:

How You Can Get A Breast Pump Through TRICARE for $0

Which Breast Pump Is Best For You?

Can You Really Get A No Cost Breast Pump For Each Baby Through TRICARE?

How to Decide What Breast Pump is The Best One For You And Your Baby

If you have any questions about how to receive your pump, make sure to contact The Breastfeeding Shop. They can help you with the paperwork and everything you need to do in order to receive your benefit.

Have you received a no cost breast pump with your TRICARE benefit? What brand did you go with?

 

Life As A Military Spouse In 17 Memes

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Life As A Military Spouse In 17 MemesLife As a Military Spouse In 17 Memes

Life as a military spouse can be quite the journey. Through deployments, pcsing places you want and don’t want to go, and finding lifelong friends you couldn’t live without. Here is your life as a military spouse in 17 memes.

Life As A Military Spouse

So true. Sometimes military life sucks, but that doesn’t mean you don’t like being a part of the military community. Make the best of what you have, work hard to get through the difficult days, and make friends with other spouses to help you through.

 

Life As A Military Spouse

Yes! That time apart, it will make you stronger, which is a good thing.
While deployments are difficult, you can change for the better as you go through them.

Life As A Military Spouse

Deployment and its phases. Make your way through them until you get to #5, homecoming day.

Journals are the best. Journaling during a deployment can be quite therapeutic.

Life As A Military Spouse

If you hate where you live, try something new.
Changing things around might just help get you into a better place emotionally!

Life As A Military Spouse

Will we ever get rid of all of those things? Probably not.

Life As A Military Spouse

So true. Use that time to figure out what your strengths and weaknesses are during time apart. Then you will be better equipped when they do deploy.

Life As A Military Spouse

Yes! Military spouses do need to be aware of money, how to pay bills, and all of that. It is so important.

Life As A Military Spouse

Oh, the 4-day weekend. Those are the best!

Life As A Military Spouse

A handwritten letter is fantastic! Whether you are the one writing one or receiving one.

Life As A Military Spouse

Make sure to always be working on your marriage, even when they are gone.

You can use this for anything. Do what you can, then try to stop worrying about it.
Tomorrow could be a much better day.

Life As A Military Spouse

Yes! We are all of those things, or at least we try to be.

Life As A Military Spouse

Oh that Commissary on payday! Stay away, stay far away.

Life As A Military Spouse

We military spouses, we do what we have to do. Even if we didn’t think we could.

Life As A Military Spouse

Yes, it is. Use your PCS to discover something new about yourself, and create new memories in your new home.

Life As A Military Spouse

Yep, exactly. Sometimes the water will be calm, sometimes you will have to battle the waves.

Being a military spouse isn’t always easy. This life is complicated. But we spouses do what we have to do to get through. And from everything, we become stronger and can grow as a person.

How long have you been a military spouse?