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The 10 Worst Duty Stations

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The 10 Worst Duty Stations

Duty stations are such a popular topic. People always want to know everything about where they are going to PCS or the differences between duty stations. They want to know all about the best duty stations, worst duty stations, and everything in between.

I have thought about making a list of the 10 worst duty stations for a while. I know there are certain places where people just dread going, and maybe for good reason. These places aren’t ideal, especially when you could get stationed at some amazing places.

However, I also strongly believe that you can “bloom where you are stationed” anywhere you might end up. That doesn’t mean you have to love your duty station, but that you don’t have to spend every day hating it, and that there are things to love about every place you might go.

So…what makes something the “worst” duty station? How can you get past that feeling? Well…here you go:

The duty station where your best friend just moved away

Finding your military spouse BFF is the best, but when that happens, something else will too, your best friend will probably have to move away at some point. And if they don’t, you do. And that sucks.

What can you do to help? Stay connected with them, even over the miles. Work to meet new people. And remember all those precious memories you’ve shared.

The duty station far from your family

Being away from family can be difficult for some people, especially if this is your first duty station. But there is something special about being out on your own, and making somewhere new your home. Try not to dwell on feeling homesick so much and work to find a place in your new location.

“You do not have to love your duty station to find something good there.”

The duty station where you can’t find a job

You have worked hard, went to college, and as soon as it was time for you to find a job, your service member spouse gets orders overseas. Now there is no way to find a job in your field. This can be so frustrating.

You can stay behind, but that isn’t an option for most families. You can look and see what volunteer jobs you can get at your new duty station that you can add to your resume. You can think outside the box and try something different, or even work hard to find that ideal job, despite the difficulties of finding one where you are currently living.

The duty station that deploys your spouse too much

One question that comes up a lot is “how often is my spouse going to deploy if we PCS to this duty station,” but that question is hard to answer. The number of times they deploy, how long they are gone, and everything related to deployments depend on many factors.

The best thing to do if your spouse is going to deploy a lot is find a good friend circle, fill up your calendars as much as you can, and know you are not alone in this.

The duty station with awful housing

Sometimes, there is nothing you can do about bad housing at your duty station. You just have to deal with it, and try to make it your own. On the other hand, you might be able to move, either somewhere else on-post or off-post. Check out your options and go from there.

The duty station where you just can’t find your people

You assume that once you move to your new duty station, you will eventually find a fun friend group like the one you had before. But after a couple of months, it seems like you aren’t going to find your people. This is something we military spouses can struggle with.

If you find yourself in this position, make sure you are getting out there on a regular basis and trying to meet new people. Sign up for things you are interested in, take the kids to playgroups, and be friendly with those you meet when you are out and about.

When a Duty Station Feels Hard

Sometimes a duty station feels bad because of the place itself. Other times, it feels hard because of what is happening in your life while you are there.

  • You do not have to love every duty station. Some places are harder than others, and it is okay to admit that.
  • Your experience may be different from someone else’s. One family’s worst duty station might become another family’s favorite.
  • Small things can help. Finding friends, exploring the area, creating routines, and looking for free local events can make a hard place feel more manageable.
  • A bad start does not mean a bad ending. Sometimes the places we dread most surprise us later.

The duty station that seems too expensive

There are a few places you could get stationed that will cost more than other places. This can be frustrating. Housing off-post might seem like too much or you might feel like your family can’t go out and do anything because of the costs.

Make sure you are doing your budget every month, find ways to save, and look for fun free events going on in your community.

The duty station you didn’t think you would end up

Maybe you just assumed you would always stay in the south, but now here you are on an airplane headed to Hawaii. And you are terrified.

Anything out of your comfort zone can be scary, but think of your new duty station as an adventure. Read up on the fun you can have where you are going, or the experiences of people who have lived there. And trust yourself to make the most out of your stay.

“One family’s worst duty station might become another family’s favorite.”

The duty station no one has ever heard of

Sometimes your spouse will get orders to a place no one has ever heard of. These can be smaller duty stations or more specialty-based, and because of that, you can’t find much information on them. If you need to know about Fort Hood or Fort Campbell, there is a ton of information out there, but not so much on a duty station most people have never heard of.

See if you can connect with the FRG (if they have one) or other spouses in your service member’s new unit. If you do have to go in without knowing too much, see what your post or base has available to you to get to know the area. They might have a newcomers class you can join.

The duty station you have been before and didn’t want to return

Maybe you were stationed somewhere for a few years and hated it. Then you left. Now five years have gone by and guess what? Your spouse just received orders to go back. You are filled with dread.

But remember, the duty station you left in 2014 will be different from the one you PCS to today. Duty stations change, people move in and then move away, you could have a completely different experience in the same place. Do not assume that your first time there will be exactly like you second.

What makes or breaks a duty station for you?

Frequently Asked Questions About Bad Duty Stations

What makes a duty station a bad duty station?

A duty station can feel bad for many reasons, including being far from family, struggling to find friends, dealing with expensive housing, not finding a job, frequent deployments, or simply ending up somewhere you never wanted to live.

Can you still enjoy a duty station you did not want?

Yes, sometimes you can. You do not have to love every duty station, but finding small things to enjoy, meeting people, creating routines, and exploring the area can help make a hard place feel more manageable.

What should I do if I cannot make friends at my new duty station?

Give it time and keep trying in small ways. Attend events, join groups, take your kids to activities, volunteer, look for local spouse communities, and remember that finding close friends can take longer than a few weeks or months.

Is every military spouse experience at a duty station the same?

No. One military spouse may love a duty station while another struggles there. Timing, friendships, housing, jobs, deployments, family needs, and personality can all change how a duty station feels.

The 10 Worst Duty Stations

Military Spouse Spotlight: From Family Recipes to a Tres Leches Business in Guam

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Military Spouse Spotlight: Faith

How Sweet It Is: Creating a Tres Leches Business

Military Spouse Spotlight: Creating a Tres Leches Business and Cooking Her Way to His Heart

Faith is originally from Arkansas and met her husband in 2016 when she was 18 and he was 19. They “got together pretty fast,” and Faith was introduced to his sisters after just two weeks. Because her husband was from Mexico and because Faith had an interest in and love for Hispanic culture, she was eager to learn how to make her husband’s favorite dishes.

His sisters gladly taught her how to cook Mexican staples authentically, beginning with corn tortillas. Faith picked up on it quickly, and she proudly remembered how surprised people were to learn that she had been the one to make tamales for a party; they had assumed his sisters had made them. 

Her husband joined the Air Force in 2019, and they were married shortly before he moved to his first duty station at Ellsworth Air Force Base in South Dakota. Faith began to flourish there as she dove deeper into her cooking and baking journey; she especially found a predilection for tres leches cakes.

Because her husband doesn’t like classic American cakes and she doesn’t like buttercream, she found herself making tres leches cakes for birthdays, and people encouraged her to sell them. Faith was hesitant to market and sell her creations because she isn’t Hispanic, so she just continued to share them at special events with friends and family.

Faith changed her mind and took a courageous step forward after moving to Guam. Now, finding her family even further from authentic Hispanic food, she relied on her own skills and recipes to bring her husband and daughter a comforting, reliable taste of home. When her daughter turned four, she baked tres leches cakes for 35 people, and she was once again urged to sell them. This time, however, something shifted in Faith; there really was a significant gap in the market, people were eager to order, and she was feeling ready to share beyond her own inner circle. 

Military Spouse Spotlight: Creating a Tres Leches Business and Cooking Her Way to His Heart

Finding Healing Through Baking

Shifting from baking for her family to baking for total strangers came with a certain amount of pressure and a great deal of experimentation and practice. “I’m a perfectionist when it comes to my baked goods,” Faith said. “It has to look good for it to taste good as well.” Guam’s high humidity is a challenge for all bakers, and Faith had to spend time tweaking her recipes to find the perfect milk amounts and ratios. She also learned through trial and error and customer feedback what flavors deserved a home on her menu. She started selling individual pans and quickly saw that the classic flavors didn’t sell; instead, customers gravitated towards unique combinations like strawberry crunch and Oreo. 

While Faith loves sharing her baking, her business has also played an important role in her postpartum healing journey. Faith had two incredibly difficult pregnancies filled with sickness and complications, and she was diagnosed with postpartum depression and anxiety. Luckily, her provider was able to connect her with a virtual therapist whom she sees every two weeks, but her baking is a more frequent way to manage her symptoms. She explained, “I learned if I keep myself busy, I don’t dwell…like I normally would.” Baking has been a lifesaver for her because “it always clears my mind.” 

“I learned if I keep myself busy, I don’t dwell…like I normally would.”

— Faith

That is not to say that this rewarding and fulfilling business is not without its challenges. Because Faith exclusively breastfeeds her newborn daughter, she spends much of her day babywearing and has to take breaks to feed and hold her younger daughter. Her older daughter wants to help, but because she’s only four, she can’t be hands-on in the kitchen to help with customers’ orders.

Faith admitted that her business comes with a lot of late nights and that she often stays up until 1 AM to bake, only to start her day at 5 AM with their newborn. However, she is lucky that her “husband has been super supportive of this journey,” and he takes an active role in helping with their daughters in the evenings. It certainly doesn’t hurt that there’s always his favorite dessert in the house, too. 

Military Spouse Spotlight: Creating a Tres Leches Business and Cooking Her Way to His Heart

A Difficult Journey to Motherhood

Initially, Faith and her husband planned to have only one child, but they changed their minds after their older daughter was born. They began trying for a second child immediately after moving to Guam, and, much like their first pregnancy, it took months before they conceived. Faith shared the fear and trauma that came with her second pregnancy; she almost died twice, and she almost lost her daughter when she was 16 weeks pregnant.

She lost over forty pounds because she had hyperemesis gravidarum (HG) and was so sick that she couldn’t leave her bed. She spent her days hovering over a trash can while her older daughter watched TV nearby. She couldn’t even look at or smell food and gagged whenever she tried to make her daughter’s meals.

She was constantly at the hospital for fluids and appointments, and her daughter now worries that she’s going to be admitted whenever Faith goes to the hospital for an appointment. Because her husband is an instructor and has 19-20 hour-long workdays during Flag Week, he couldn’t be there to help as much as he wanted to.

As she was nearing the end of her pregnancy, Faith faced yet another worrying obstacle: she was in labor for three weeks with contractions coming every two minutes. She was finally induced at 39 weeks after trying to do everything to fully throw herself into labor. “I love babies and love giving birth but don’t mix well with pregnancy,” she said, and while she is still recovering from her traumatic pregnancy, she and her husband would love to have more children.

They plan to adopt in the future once their biological children are older, but they know this decision comes with a great deal of planning and luck. Because her husband plans to serve a full 20-year military career, they will find themselves frequently moving, so finding the right time to adopt will be challenging. Faith has also not closed the door on having another biological child, but she wants to wait a few years to fully recover first. 

Military Spouse Spotlight: Creating a Tres Leches Business and Cooking Her Way to His Heart

Forming Friendships and Finding Her Village

When Faith first moved to South Dakota, she was newly married and far from home. She worked full-time at Walmart, and because her friends didn’t know and understand the military lifestyle, she felt lonely in her new home. It took her a year to become friends with one of her husband’s coworkers’ wives, but that friendship was deeply fulfilling. Ally became her oldest daughter’s godmother, and they have been able to bond over their debilitating HG pregnancies. Sadly, Ally moved right before she had her baby. 

Faith also became friends with her neighbor, Moriah, while they were in South Dakota, and they bonded as their husbands were deployed to the Middle East in 2023. They became like sisters and were each other’s village. Faith still talks with Ally and Moriah every day, but the time difference between Guam and the continental US can make conversations a little more challenging. 

Faith was initially nervous and resistant to making friends in Guam, though. Because she was in constant contact with her friends and family in the States, she didn’t feel like she was lacking in connection. However, her husband was worried she would be depressed and hate Guam if she didn’t put herself out there, so he encouraged her to socialize.

Faith is happy to admit that he was right, and her life is so much richer for being part of her community. She ran a monthly book club called “That’s What She Read” and joined the Guam Littles Playgroup. These groups helped her to find the community and village she so desperately needed but didn’t think she wanted. From offers to clean her house to a meal train, “they really stepped up and were villagers when I needed it.” 

“they really stepped up and were villagers when I needed it.” 

— Faith

Faith believes that it’s important to find friends who are comfortable with who they are. Because you “can’t talk to children about pregnancy and marriage, it’s so nice to find other adults are like you,” she said. When you find someone you can have authentic and engaging conversations with, “you build each other up,” and that support is invaluable in challenging seasons of life. Because Faith and her husband love Guam so much, they are hoping to extend their time on the island by another year. She’s currently excited for her older daughter to attend preschool with two of the friends she’s made through the Guam Littles Playgroup and to have some one-on-one time with her newborn. 

What Military Spouses Can Take From Faith’s Story

Faith’s story is about more than tres leches cakes. It is about love, culture, motherhood, healing, friendship, and finding the courage to share something meaningful with others.

  • Your gifts can become part of your military life story. What started as cooking for her husband and family grew into something Faith could share with her community.
  • Healing can happen in ordinary places. For Faith, baking became a way to clear her mind and move through a difficult postpartum season.
  • Community matters, even when you think you don’t need it. Faith found support through book club, playgroup, and friends who showed up when life was heavy.
  • Military life can stretch your definition of home. In Guam, Faith found ways to bring comfort, flavor, family traditions, and connection into a new season.

Katie McDonald is a Navy wife, and she and her husband are currently stationed in Guam. After 5 years as an English teacher, Katie is currently working as a freelance writer and enjoys writing about books and travel. https://www.katiereads.com/

Mistakes New Military Spouses Might Make

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Mistakes New Military Spouses Might Make

Mistakes You Might Make as a New Military Spouse

I was 26 years old when I became a military spouse. Other spouses were a lot younger, and some were even older when they joined this life. No matter how old you were when you became part of a military family, there will be a learning curve. You won’t be able to understand how everything works right away. You might make some mistakes. It’s bound to happen.

Over my time as a military spouse, I have made some mistakes too. Figuring out how the military works takes time.

5 Mistakes New Military Spouses Might Make

Going Over Your Spouse’s Chain of Command

Going over your spouse’s chain of command is a big no-no. You don’t want to do that. Doing so will upset people and could come down to your own spouse getting in trouble. There will be plenty of times when a command comes down, and you will want your spouse to do something about it. Usually, they can’t. Remember that there is a chain of command for a reason. Be respectful of it.

Not Understanding That the Military Comes First

The military has to come first most of the time. Your spouse will have to go where the military sends them. Even major family moments, like having a baby during a deployment, may not change what the military requires. You can ask for them to be sent home, but know that no one has to make that happen for you.

This is one of the hardest things to learn about military life. A good Command will try to help families when they can, but because of the mission, that isn’t always possible.

Not Trying to Make Friends

You are in a new place, trying to get used to your new life. It can be way too easy to stay at home and not try to get out there and make friends. See what you can do to get out of your house and go to places where you can make friends.

Doing this might be scary, especially if you are shy. But I have learned that putting yourself out there will eventually make you friends. Even if it takes a long time. Find things you would enjoy doing anyway and keep trying. Military spouse life is better with friends.

Underestimating the Toll of Military Life

Sometimes it is hard to understand the toll that military life can take on you. As a spouse, a parent, a woman, and a person, you will face many situations that seem impossible when you first hear about them. You need to try to take care of yourself. You need to find ways to smile even if your spouse is gone. To enjoy life even when life is stressful. Remember that military life can take a toll, but the experiences you will go through will also help make you stronger.

Letting Fear Overtake You

There is a lot to be fearful of during military life. Even more so when they are deployed in a war zone. Don’t let that fear overtake you. The reality is, something could happen to your spouse.

However, if you live in fear of that happening every day, it can wear you down quickly. You need to figure out a way to keep your fear in check. That could be different for each person. Some people will find comfort in their religion. Others will have a good friend they can go to and talk about what they are scared of. Figure out how to handle the fear, and don’t let it overtake you.

What New Military Spouses Should Remember

No one becomes an expert at military life overnight. You are allowed to ask questions, make mistakes, learn as you go, and give yourself grace along the way.

  • Military life has a learning curve. You won’t understand everything right away, and that is normal.
  • Friendship matters. Finding people who understand this life can make the hard seasons feel less lonely.
  • Fear is part of the journey, but it does not have to run your life. Find support, talk things through, and focus on what you can control.
  • You will keep growing. Every season of military life teaches you something new about yourself, your marriage, and what you are capable of handling.

Give Yourself Grace as You Learn Military Life

No one is a perfect military spouse. You will make mistakes along the way. But you can learn from them. Your military life is a journey. One in which you will always be growing and learning along the way. Do the best that you can, learn what you can and you will find that you will slowly start to figure everything out.

Frequently Asked Questions About Being a New Military Spouse

Is it normal to feel overwhelmed as a new military spouse?

Yes, it is very normal to feel overwhelmed as a new military spouse. Military life comes with new rules, new expectations, and a lot of uncertainty. Give yourself time to learn how everything works.

What is one mistake new military spouses often make?

One common mistake is thinking you have to understand everything right away. Military life has a learning curve, and most spouses learn through experience, asking questions, and connecting with others who have been there.

How can new military spouses make friends?

New military spouses can make friends by attending spouse events, joining local groups, volunteering, going to community activities, and connecting with others online. It can take time, but putting yourself out there helps.

How can military spouses handle fear during deployment?

Fear during deployment is common. Military spouses can cope by building a support system, staying connected to trusted friends or family, focusing on what they can control, and reaching out for help when fear feels too heavy.

5 Military Spouse Friends You Need When You First PCS

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5 Military Spouse Friends You Need When You First PCS

When I first moved to Fort Campbell, I made friends with someone who grew up in the Clarksville area. While I didn’t go into the PCS with that goal, I just wanted to make friends, I realized how helpful that really was.

She told me about a lot of the great places to take kids, where to get a nice meal and other things about the area I might not have been able to figure out on my own, at least not for a while.

Most military spouses want to make friends when they PCS, but doing so isn’t always easy. Sometimes you can go months and months without finding anyone to connect with. That being said, if you can, look for these types of friends, because if you can find them, that will make your PCS, and your experiences at your next duty station a little bit easier.

The Friend Who Grew Up There

Finding someone who grew up in the area is such a smart idea. They can tell you about the city, where to go, where not to go, etc. They can introduce you to their friends, and help you get to know your new city, which is important. Having a local connection will also help you get to know your local civilian community.

The Friend Who Is More Outgoing Than You

One of the best things that can happen to an introverted military spouse is making friends with an extroverted military spouse. That person can be your connection to so many other people.

She will invite you on play dates, and introduce you to her neighbors. She is connected and can help you step out of your shell and get to know more people without having to do it 100% yourself.

The Friend Who Knows Post

You will also want to meet someone that knows post or base, really really well. They will know when all the kid’s activities are, they will know which CDC Hourly care center to use, and will help you get connected to some of the programs they offer, such as MOPS and PWOC.

Moving to a new installation can be so overwhelming but finding a friend that knows the place will go a long way, whether you live on or off post.

The Friend Who Has Kids The Same Age As Your Kids

If you have kids, finding friends who have kids the same age as you is such a wonderful thing. Even better when all your kids get along. You can get the kids together, while you guys hang out.

If your spouses are both deployed, have a sleepover, or even take a trip together. There are so many ways to connect when you are in the same stage of life as someone and your kids all get along.

The Friend Who Just Moved There Too

Finding friends who are also new to your duty station can be a good idea too. Why? Because you guys can learn about the place together.

There is something comforting about knowing you are not the only one who gets lost on the way to the commissary or who can’t figure out when Gate 5 is actually open.

Being a military spouse can mean moving every few years. When you move, you have to make new friends. And if you aren’t doing the moving, your friends probably are.

Here are some other blog posts about friendships and making friends during military life:

When An Introverted Military Spouse Needs To Make Friends

The Six Degrees of Separation of Military Spouse Friendships

5 Myths About Military Spouse Friendships

Finding Meaningful Friendships In Military Spouse Life

How To Make Friends When Your Kids Are All In School

The Military Spouse’s Guide to Making Friends in a Social Media World