Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

little boys

The Truth About Parenting

by 7 Comments

The Truth about parenting

Want to know the truth about parenting?

I have been a mom for almost 11.5 years now and it has been quite the journey. It has been nothing like I thought it would be.

Back in junior high, high school and college, I babysat a lot. I watched a lot of kids over those years. I thought I had it figured out.

And maybe I did have the basics figured out. That you needed to make sure they were fed, changed, dressed and loved. That you could make them laugh and that you could help them grow up. What I didn’t fully understand was how much being a parent was going to be the hardest thing I have ever done and that parenting would always  be that way, whether my children were babies or whether they were all grown up and out of the house.

When you only have little babies you have to figure out how you are going to mother them. Should you let them cry it out? How long should you breastfeed for? Does it really matter what toys they play with? You always have to wonder if you are doing parenting right.

Then they become toddlers and you enter a whole new world. I remember the moment when my sweet little boy hit that new stage and threw a sippy cup at me because he was mad he had to go to bed. Say what? Who is this child and where did they come from?

I didn’t know that the threes would be much harder than the twos. That potty training would drive me to the edge of insanity. That having two in diapers really wasn’t as hard as people said it was going to be. That I would struggle so much with the spanking issue, that I would have to do a lot of solo parenting or that I would only raise all boys.

Parenting is full of a lot of surprises.

Before I had kids I had some ideas about parenting but over time those ideas have shifted and while some things have always been important to me, other views got lost somewhere between the midnight feedings and fit throwing toddlers.

I didn’t think I would ever use a stroller. HA! What was I thinking? A stroller saved my life when I had a 3 and 1-year-old. I am not sure how I could have lived without it.

As I look back over the last 11 years I can tell you some stages in parenting are much harder than others. Did I mention potty training??? UH! Glad we are done with that.

But as I look ahead I see those teenage years and puberty and getting into colleges and I wonder how those years are going to go. Will they stress me out as much as toddlerhood did? Is that even possible? Will I be able to make the right decisions? What if I make a big mistake?

I know that you can read all the parenting books your library has and still not quite understand your kid.

And even if you did, here comes the next kid. This one very different from the first kid and he or she will make you throw everything you know about children out the window.

Children are complex and what works for one won’t work for another. Throw special needs into the mix and you have added another layer to try to figure out.

After my boys go to bed and the house is quiet I sometimes think about where I am in my life. I was the one who wrote “Mommy” as a child when asked what I wanted to be when I grew up. I am living my dream. Three healthy boys to love and to raise. However, it is sometimes hard to sit back and enjoy it when you are going from kid to kid to dog to house to business and it all seems a little too much.

But in those quiet moments, I can think about my boys and what they mean to me. The ways they made me laugh that day instead of the ways they made me cry. I can think about who they are today and who they are going to be in the future. I see myself in them. I see my husband in them. These children that we created.

The truth about parenting is that it is unexpected, it can throw you for a loop, it can make you laugh and make your cry, all in the same afternoon. Parenting can cause you to swell with pride when you are having a good day and make you rethink everything on a bad one. It’s fulfilling and it isn’t. It is everything and yet just a part of who I am.

The truth about parenting is that you really have to take it one day at a time because otherwise it will overwhelm you in a way nothing else ever could. But at the end of the day, every minute, every hard and difficult minute is worth everything.

the truth about parenting

How many children do you have? How old are they???

 

Want to connect with other moms who get parenting? Head on over to Hello Mamas to connect 🙂

 

How You Know You Are In An All Boy Family

by 2 Comments

How You Know You Are In An All Boy FamilyMy house is an all boy house.  We have no little girls here.  Mommy is the only one sporting the pink.  My 10 year old loves green, my 8 and 4 year old love blue. Walk into our house and you will probably be able to tell pretty quickly that we are an all boy home.

This is why…

1. Legos Legos everywhere.  Lego Star Wars, Lego Avengers, Lego Harry Potter…I think we have a little bit of everything. Girls love Legos too, I played with them as a child but they are all over the place here. Sets and figures and video games.

2. We won’t be selling any Girl Scout cookies.  My oldest was in Cub scouts and I learned pretty quickly that it is different from my experience with Girl Scouts.  Either that or things have changed a lot since I was a kid. The Boy scouts sell popcorn. While the popcorn is good, it isn’t like Girl Scout cookies. No one is waiting for them to come out. You can pretty much buy the same thing at a grocery store. I always buy from two or three little girls because I was a Girl Scout for 12 years and the cookies are just that good!

3. No shopping in the pink aisle.  I love Barbie and girly toys but that isn’t what my boys want.  I go over to the pink aisle to shop for friends and family but not my own kids.  It is like going to a foreign land.  An area I am not a part of anymore. I have always been open to having dolls and girl stuff around but my boys? They don’t want it.

4. Everything is a gun.  I am not too big on toy guns but we have a few.  Mostly Nerf guns.  But what I have learned is that little boys turn almost anything into a gun.  And if they have nothing else, a finger also works. Everytime friends come over they want to grab the Nerf guns and head outside where they pretend to be Star Wars guys or whatever else their minds come up with.

5. Potty training is difficult.  Yes, I know there are boys out there that train early and there are girls out there that take their time, but taking an informal poll of friends with both sexes, boys are usually harder to potty train than girls.

6. The Boys bathroom. Any mom with a boy knows how messy their bathroom can get. Whenever I look at houses and think about searching for one with just 1.5 baths, I just remind myself about having boys. I need my own bathroom. Boys are messy.

I have heard that boys are harder as young kids and then as they get older they are a little bit easier. I have also heard that it is the opposite for girls. I am not sure if that is true but it kind of seems to lean that way. Either way, kids are hard and I love being a mom of all boys.

Are you a mom of all boys?  How many do you have?

 

* This post contains affiliate links.

Summer 2015 Plans

by Leave a Comment

Summer 2015 Plans

Summer? Already? We have just 45 days left until summer vacation begins. Every year I think about my kid’s ages and I am VERY excited about this summer of 10, 8 and 4. Very. For one thing, NO ONE IS IN DIAPERS!!! Which means, NO ONE IS IN SWIM DIAPERS. I can’t tell you how excited this makes me!

I am looking forward to bbqing, plants growing, wearing shorts, long nights, sleeping in, fun memories and time with the boys.

It is also possible that this will be my last summer home with the boys. Next summer I could be working and they could be in daycare or with their Dad instead. So THIS summer is going to be awesome, I am going to make sure of it.

This is what is on our list so far:

  • Time at the pool. I think for the first time ever I can handle taking all three boys by myself, as long as the pool is set up the right way and I think I know of one that will work.
  • Splash Park. The easiest way to get wet in the summer and hang out with friends.
  • Water Park. We have a tiny one here that will be fun for the boys.
  • Camping. Yes, we want to attempt it again.
  • Park Time. This gets harder to do once we hit July since it is SO hot and the bugs so we will go more in May and June and in the evenings.
  • Day Camps. I already have them signed up for one each so I am excited about that.
  • Overnight Camp. This will be for my oldest.
  • VBS. Hoping to volunteer this year since all three will be able to go.
  • Swim Lessons. All three will do it this year, hoping they can all go at the same time.
  • Walks. I love walking or a mix of walking, bike riding, scooter riding depending on the kid. Either around the neighborhood or somewhere with more to look at then just houses and lawns.
  • Adventure Science Center. We have a pass now.
  • The Movies. I can now take all three to the movies so plan to do that. We really want to see Inside Out and Minions. My oldest wants to see Jurassic World.
  • Movies at the Park. Hoping we can take in a few of these too.

What about you? Are you ready for summer yet? Planning any trips? Any camps?

 

 

Tales of a Picky Eater

by 2 Comments

 

Tales of a Picky EaterOh picky eaters! There are a lot of blog posts out there about how to help a picky eater, what you can do to prevent “making” one, how you shouldn’t be a short order cook, how your kids need to clean their plates, etc, etc, etc…

There is a lot of advice about what to do when your kid won’t eat everything you give them.

I am torn on all of this advice because as a child I was a very picky eater.

I hated chicken for the longest time. I remember I would walk into the kitchen and burst into tears when I saw my mom making chicken. Now I love it. Somewhere along the way I changed the way I felt about it.

I hated pizza until I was 12. Class parties were frustrating for me. I was good and can’t even eat the prize! Then one day, I think I was at a sleepover, I tried cold pizza and it opened up my world.

I used to just put salt on my salads. Salad dressing was nasty to me. Until sometime in college when I tried it again and realized I liked it.

I hated spaghetti until sometime in the early years of our marriage my husband made some for me and I loved it. I still have to eat it with salad and bread. It’s weird, I know.

Guacamole was always on the list of things I didn’t eat until I started craving it a few years ago. Now I can’t get enough.

So when my son tells me he can’t stand chicken or hates this or that, I get it. I really do. I still remember being forced to eat certain foods when I was three years old. It was very traumatic for some reason.

I have a couple of picky eaters myself. My oldest seems to get better and better every year which is good. My middle son, we have a party when he tries a new food.

My youngest seems to be the most open to things which is great.

Am I worried about the fact that sometimes I make different foods each night? Not at all. I have some rules. Sometimes they say, “well I don’t want that tonight.” If it is a food I know they will eat, I tell them that is tough because that is what is for dinner. I want them to try things sometimes. Most of the time, the older two say they don’t like it and we move on.

It could be that I am not a big cook. I have the standard things that I make and I think my boys are pretty used to it. So trying something new isn’t exactly an easy thing to do. But at the end of the day, I want my kids to eat. If it is only one type of veggie, oh well…at least they are eating a veggie. And someday that might be two or three different types of vegetables. Sometimes it is “kid” food, sometimes it is not. That is how we roll in our house.

I think when it comes to food, you have to do what you have to do. Depending on your kids and their own needs. I have friends who have kids with serious eating issues. They work hard to make sure they are doing what they can to get the right foods. They go to food therapy and it really helps to get them to add new foods. It isn’t always as easy as serving it and making them eat it. Sometimes you have to get more creative and figure out the best way to make it work for your own family.

Do you have a picky eater? Are you a picky eater too?

The Oak Grove Butterfly Festival

by 2 Comments

 

 

Oakgrove Butterfly festival

 

It is always nice to find fun things to do with the kids around here. Especially if they are free or don’t cost too much. A friend invited us to the Oak Grove Butterfly Festival in Oak Grove, KY last weekend. I had never been to one and I didn’t know what to expect.

They had a ton of things for the kids to do such as crafts, ponies, face painting, bubbles and a train. They also had a butterfly house where you could go in and try to spot them. They also released about 1,000 butterflies to end the event.

oakgrove butterfly festival

We got there  and stood in the train line. It took forever but the kids loved it. After the train and after looking at the lines we decided to just take the kids to the little playground. We had about an hour until the butterfly release at this point. After about 15 minutes we took the kids on a little trail.  It was hot so I decided to get my kids something to drink while we waited. After that we went up on the hill to wait.

 

oakgrove butterfly festival

Right at 5pm they released all the butterflies. It was hard to see them at first but it was fun to try to catch a closeup of them as they were flying around. They are so beautiful and some of them flew really close to us.

I didn’t get so lucky taking a picture of the ones that flew right by us. Oh well, maybe next year.

Have you ever been to a butterfly festival before? 

Christian Way Farms

by 1 Comment

This year we went to two pumpkin patches.  I went with my son with his class to Honeysuckle Hill Farm and then we went to Christian Way Farm during fall break.  I really liked both of these places, probably better than Riverview Mounds where we have been in the past.

Here are some photos from Christian Way Farm!  I really liked how it was laid out and my kids seemed to have a ton of fun there.  It is about an hour from Clarksville though so a bit of a drive.

Christian Way Farm

 

Christian Way Farm

 

Christian Way Farm

 

Christian Way Farm

 

Christian Way Farm

 

Christian Way Farm

 

Christian Way Farm

 

Christian Way Farm

 

Christian Way Farm

 

Have you made it to the pumpkin patch this year?

The Lego Store

by 1 Comment

My boys LOVE the Lego store. Drew will talk your hear off about it. Since I knew that the Lego store in Downtown Disney was pretty big, we planned a trip there. Unfortunately we had to wait until one of the last days of our trip which was kinda hard for Drew. But it was worth the wait.

Now I knew that the store was two stories but I didn’t realize one story was just a play area but the boys didn’t seem to mind.

I love Disneyland and I knew we couldn’t go this trip. Daniel begged me to go and said, “Can’t we just go on one ride?” I kinda wish it was still like that but of course I had to tell him “no, it doesn’t work like that.” I am hoping I can take them when we are out again in February/March.

Downtown Disney Lego Store

 

Downtown Disney Lego Store

 

Downtown Disney Lego Store

 

Downtown Disney Lego Store

 

Downtown Disney Lego Store

Living with Asperger’s

by 7 Comments

Living with Asperger’sIt’s been three months since Drew was diagnosed with Asperger’s. Asperger’s is considered a form of Autism. I have accepted Asperger’s but having a hard time with the phrase, “my son has autism.”

Most parents start hearing about Autism before their child is even born. There are a lot of theories on what causes it. A lot of debate. It is something I have always been afraid of on some level. I think a lot of parents wonder about it. But knowing your kid is considered “on the autism spectrum” is so hard. I guess because when I look at my son I don’t see Autism. I do see a smart and healthy child that has a lot more challenges in life than another 5-year-old might have. Things bother him and I can never wrap my head around why.

A fork falls on the floor and it is the end of the world. I offer him the wrong cereal or the wrong brand of tortillas. I forget to put a napkin in his lunch. His teacher is absent for the day. His brother isn’t playing with the Lego the “right” way. He can’t find the pink nose for the Mr. Potato Head.

Things have to be a certain way for him or it really is the end of the world. I have to remember that his mind thinks so differently than mine. I have to remember that certain things other kids grow out of by age 5 he is still working on. He won’t understand certain things on an emotional level. He will have to learn the “rules” for how to live in society. He will memorize them and then know how to act.

He has a very hard time with “no.” If he doesn’t get something he wants he will spend hours sometimes trying to find a loop-hole to get it. For example he really wanted some Legos at the store. He knew we were going to go to Target on Friday. I told him several times that we could look at the toys but we couldn’t buy toys. Well he tried to explain that Legos were not really toys. When that didn’t work he went on to tell me that I should just put “Legos” on my list since we were only going to buy what was on Mommy’s list. He is super smart and tries so hard to figure things out.

He is also very literal. If we have breakfast and then he asks for ice cream and I tell him, “You can’t have ice cream for breakfast.” He will tell me that he already had breakfast. What I needed to say was that we don’t have ice cream in the morning.

He starts Kindergarten in the fall. We had our first IEP with his new school a few weeks ago and I am very happy with the team who will be working with him. It makes me feel good that we are on the same page. I am worried about the first few weeks of school the most since that is when everything will be so new to him. He has a hard time with new environments sometimes.

I do love spending time with him. He is so creative, I love it! He inspires me in different ways and I love watching him figure things out. He talks a lot about what he knows and although a lot of it can be repetitive, it is nice to see him passionate about things.  Some days are pretty average, other days are pretty difficult and every once in a while they get pretty hard. I feel good about the help he is getting and it is helping me as well. Just taking one day at a time with it. I am worried about our next deployment and having to parent alone. I know I have done it before but I just feel like things are so different now. I know when the time comes I will be able to make it through but I worry thinking about it.

Just one day at a time…

“I know God will not give me anything I can’t handle. I just wish He didn’t trust me so much.” (Mother Teresa)

 

 

Is there something wrong with my child?

by 2 Comments

Is there something wrong with my child?

Is there something wrong with my child???

Figuring out if something is wrong with your child is very difficult. As parents we want our children to be 100% okay. We don’t want anything to be wrong with them. We read the parenting books, we try to make all the right choices. Sometimes there is something going on but how do you know? How do you know they might be delayed or dealing with something other kids don’t have to deal with? How do you know you should take them somewhere to be seen?

It is a hard decision to make. We moved to the US from Germany when Drew was a little over three. I started him at the CDC and it was the really the first time he went anywhere that was like that. He had gone to the church nursery a few times and a couple of times at the CDC in Germany for one time events but nothing regularly. He didn’t do so well at first. I brought it up to the doctor and she thought he was just getting use to the new place. I wasn’t totally sure it was that but I wasn’t totally sure it wasn’t either. Looking back it really was the first signs of his Asperger’s but we didn’t know it at the time.

This past August I asked a different doctor about him. I brought up some of my concerns. She asked him a bunch of questions and felt he was fine. Maybe just his personality. At this point I just wasn’t sure what to think. By October I knew it was much more than just his personality. Things we thought he would have grown out of by almost five he hadn’t. I decided to call the doctor and just ask for a referral to see the Behavioral Doctor on post. I had heard he was excellent. From that I was directed to CAPS which is also on post. That is where we met with a doctor and got the diagnoses.

It has been a road, although not as long as it could have been. Looking back it is a lot more obvious that something was going on. But it isn’t always easy to tell when you are going through it.

I really do think moms know if something is going on. You just know deep down that something isn’t quite right. Sometimes the doctors might not see it at first. Sometimes you just have to keep at it to find out what is wrong

https://soldierswifecrazylife.com.

Before I took my oldest in to be tested I told myself that either 1) They will tell me he is fine or 2) There is something going on and we could start to help him. I tried not to worry although it was hard. I tried not to imagine the worst, although that was hard too. I just knew I had to do something about the feelings I was having.

Have you been through this? What advice would you give to someone who wasn’t sure something was going on with their child?

A Diagnosis of Asperger’s

by 17 Comments

 

 

A Diagnosis of Asperger's- Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

Back in October, I started the process of getting my son evaluated. I knew something wasn’t right with him. Once he started preschool in August it became clear that we needed to get him checked out. He will be starting kindergarten in the fall and I knew it would be important to know what was going on before then. I knew we needed to find that out so we knew how to help him.

At first, I wasn’t sure what could be going on. He has a lot of trouble changing from one activity to the next. He likes certain things a certain way. At first, we thought this could have been age but then he just wasn’t growing out of these behaviors. I started to notice how he would really focus on one thing. He would talk about whatever he was into a lot. Only want to play with that item.

Right now that is Lego Star Wars. He only wants to wear Lego Star Wars shirts. I can get him to wear the regular Star Wars ones but only because the Lego ones need to be washed. He only plays with his Lego Star Wars. He knows a lot about them too. We bought him an encyclopedia book on all the different Lego Star Wars you can get. He will talk all day about Star Wars.

He just doesn’t get along with other kids too well. This is hard because I am social, his brother is social and so we like being around other people and kids. Usually, he will either play by himself or play next to another child. Every once in a while, he will play with another child and I get so happy to see that. He will tell me things like, “They weren’t playing with it right, ” when he gets mad at another kid.

He is awesome about washing his hands after he goes to the bathroom but if we are somewhere else and he can’t find the soap, he gets really upset. He has to wash his hands. He will get pretty upset about the little things too, like when he drops a fork or a toy. It can be hard to know how to react. I have learned to stay calm myself and just say something like, “It is ok. Let’s get you another one.”

I would say we have been dealing with this type of behavior since he was about two or three. But in the last year, it has really gotten to where it felt like a big problem.

Today I found out that he has Asperger’s Syndrome. I was about 85% sure that was what he had after I did a lot of reading about Asperger’s.  I was right.

Tomorrow we will find out more information and start figuring out how to get him the right therapy. Right now I feel a mix of relief and fear. I am relieved that we finally figured out what was going on. I am fearful because I just don’t know exactly what this all means for him.