military spouse motherhood

Military Spouse Spotlight: Taryn 

For the Love of Fitness

Taryn is not a woman who takes “no” for an answer. Faced with years of obstacles, setbacks, and opportunities to take the easy path, she has continuously chosen to prioritize her health, wellness, and fitness so she can be the best version of herself. A mother of two young children, an Air Force doctor’s wife, and a personal trainer, Taryn’s grit, determination, resilience, and spirit are an inspiration to all women who’ve felt overwhelmed by stress, change, and circumstances beyond their control. 

Seeking “Fit”

Taryn has been interested in being “fit” since she was a teenager, but it took her years to define what that realistically meant for her and how she could achieve it in a healthy way. Because her sister was a college athlete and because of the influencers she watched online, Taryn was exposed to a variety of fitness programs that she bounced between unsatisfyingly. Her goals always felt just out of reach, and she felt like true fitness was never in the cards for her, no matter how hard she tried. 

Taryn got married when she was nineteen years old, and she and her husband bonded over going to the gym together. While he was “building muscle like crazy,” she was frustrated by her slow, confusing progress. She fell into a cycle of detrimental thinking that plagues countless women: “I must not be working hard enough,” “I must eat less,” and “lifting weights will make you bulky.”

Even though she was consistently showing up to the gym, she was still unhealthy because she nearly passed out from not eating enough. As was the trend at the time, she tracked her food in MyFitnessPal, but she didn’t understand what a calorie deficit was or the importance of carbohydrates and protein. She followed the misleading narrative that eating less will make you leaner, but without understanding the science of nutrition and food’s vital role as fuel, she wasn’t seeing the results she so desperately craved. While she has never had a diagnosable eating disorder, her eating was disordered, and Taryn believes that every woman who has tried to lose weight has suffered from disordered eating because they don’t understand how their bodies work. 

Taryn became exposed to weights after college and became consistent in her growth. Going to the gym in pursuit of fitness “became part of who I was” and remained a vital touchstone for her. At the same time, Taryn began her career in communications and marketing but felt called to launch her own business—a dream that would not be realized for years.

Like so many other entrepreneurs, she felt like she “had to have it all figured out, and it would be so hard with so much sacrifice.” Yes, she would realize that the journey would be difficult, but the long hours, studying, and risks would ultimately pay off in the form of a thriving and fulfilling fitness coaching business, Happy Body Coaching Collective. 

Medical School, Motherhood, and a New Kind of Strength

Her husband was a medical student at the Uniformed Services University, so Taryn was the primary breadwinner. The couple moved from Utah to Maryland during COVID, and they bonded over going to the rock-climbing gym together. Taryn felt frustrated because she kept hurting her back and lifting heavier loads, and she still felt like she couldn’t match the “fit” women at the gym that she so admired. 

Hindsight has given her the wisdom and clarity to see the mistakes and hiccups along the way, but Taryn firmly believes that “nothing has been the wrong decision” because “everything I’ve tried, quit, and gave up on has all led me to where I am now.” Like so many of us who have the best of intentions, Taryn was “doing the best with what I had at the time.” 

Taryn faced a series of life-changing events in 2020. As COVID shut the world down, she learned that she was expecting her first child. She was so scared and cried at the news because she thought she would never reach her fitness goals. Going to the gym, being strong, and being lean had all become such core parts of her identity, and she had no role models to show her that she could still do all of those things as a mother.

She wrote in her journal, “You get to be the kind of mother you want to be,” and she took time to reflect on what that would uniquely mean for her. “I wanted to be really active with my kids and be strong,” Taryn said, but her path towards that goal wouldn’t be easy.

She was still working remotely to support their growing family, depressed, and trying to double down on working out. However, she was so sick and couldn’t eat anything besides juice and fruit for three months. She had been struggling to understand nutrition and its impact on her performance for years, and she was shocked to learn that she had gestational diabetes.

She cared so deeply about her health, so she knew she had to renegotiate her habits. She didn’t want to take insulin and was just told at her prenatal appointment to track her blood sugar and eat protein. Aware of how little she knew about the why behind nutrition, she dove into the science so she could fuel herself properly. At the same time, she discovered a newfound love for running. 

Leading up to her daughter’s birth, she was scared of having abdominal separation, and, unfortunately, she did have diastasis recti and dramatic stretch marks that made it appear as though she had twins. She felt like it would be impossible to balance motherhood and fitness in her new body and with the competing demands of her baby, her career, and her husband’s career. However, that stubborn voice inside of her told her to keep researching and to keep trying. 

“Motherhood awoke something in me,” Taryn said about the monumental change in her outlook and drive. She explained that when you’re a nursing mother, you don’t have a choice but to do the hard things you don’t want to do. You set aside your fatigue and wake up night after night to care for your baby. In the same way, she realized she had the strength to keep showing up for herself and could apply her new consistency and dedication to her fitness. “By and large being consistent has not been an issue for me,” Taryn said, and she attributed it to the countless hard things she did over and over again as a new mother. 

The Challenging Clinical Years

Six months after their daughter was born, her husband started his clinical rotations, and their world was turned on its head. Their young family moved from hotel to hotel, state to state, across the country every 6-12 weeks for two years. This lack of stability could have been a major setback for Taryn, but she reminded herself that she survived a 48-hour labor with an epidural that didn’t work; in summary, she “felt a little bit unstoppable.” 

Like so many military and medicine spouses, she learned to be resourceful and to make the best of a difficult and uncomfortable set of circumstances. Not wanting to sacrifice her exercise routine, she brought a set of TRX straps with her and used her Ninja Foodie and the hotel’s outdoor grills to cook nutritious meals. She would make six trips up and down the stairs to unload her Costco haul while holding her infant daughter, but she wouldn’t take the easy path and quit because she wanted this “to be a lifestyle, not a six-week sprint.”

Even though she was still working remotely, she was able to walk 3-5 miles a day with her daughter and doggedly focused on core work to heal her diastasis recti. She admitted how difficult these postpartum days were; she remembered crying her eyes out and being a mess, but having her fitness goals gave her something to focus on and get her through. All along, she saved and saved for a home gym and for a personal training certification so she could more easily achieve her fitness goals. 

After nine months of work, Taryn completed her personal training certification, but she applied that knowledge only to her own fitness journey for the first year. At a year postpartum, she was the leanest she’d ever been; she was getting enough calories, lifting weights at the bases’ gyms, and jumping rope on the hotels’ decks or in public parks while her daughter crawled nearby.

The only consistent thing about her husband’s schedule was that it was inconsistent, and she essentially was operating as a single parent. Meanwhile, they had to evict the tenant who had been renting their home in Maryland; the tenant trashed the house, and it also flooded. As a result, they had to relocate to a temporary apartment for six months, but Taryn was so grateful to have access to a gym, childcare, and a full kitchen—such a step up from hotel minifridges! 

The Birth of Her Portable Fitness Business

She gave birth to their son a month before her husband graduated from medical school, and her second pregnancy was far from easy. She was still working full-time and hating her job, and her husband’s clinical rotations were still sending them across the country. In fact, she drove across the country three times during her pregnancy as they looped from Maryland to Texas to California; they even flew out to Hawaii. Just as Taryn thought their nomadic, high-pressure lives couldn’t get any harder, she was unexpectedly laid off while six months pregnant. It was a big blow to her ego, and she spent two days mourning what she had lost. 

However, it was ultimately a blessing in disguise because it gave her the push she needed to achieve a long-awaited dream. Starting her own business was “so scary for so many reasons,” but she thought to herself, “What do I have to lose?” She used half of her separation pay to purchase a computer and invest in a business coaching program; she earned it back in her first year. 

The following year was one challenge after another. With a newborn and a toddler in tow, the growing family moved to Las Vegas for her husband’s internship year, during which he routinely worked 90 hours a week. Taryn said that her husband’s time as a general surgery intern was “the hardest year of our lives” because her husband never saw their kids. She knew no one, didn’t have the military community or the resources of a base to fall back on, was raising two young children on her own away from their family and friends, and was trying to build her business. She was battling baby blues, anxiety, and dissatisfaction with her body and was under enormous pressure and strain from years of her and her husband’s stress. 

Her husband hadn’t matched into a residency program when they arrived in Vegas, and he didn’t match again when he finished his intern year. Instead, he was unexpectedly assigned to Guam—their 20^th choice—as a flight surgeon. Taryn emphasized how important it was that she didn’t make plans that revolved around her husband’s career because it was so unpredictable and out of their control. She built her personal training company to exist virtually so she could work with clients all over the world and continue her business wherever the military sends them. “I have gotten really good at not making plans but still progressing,” she said with pride. 

Finding Peace

Guam has been a “breath of fresh air” that she has so sorely needed. Water is the most healing element in the world, and being surrounded by it has made a huge difference for Taryn and her family. The slower pace has forced them to slow down, something she didn’t know how to do after years of constantly packing up and moving. Before moving to Guam, her oxidative stress levels and inflammation were high, but she has seen such positive progress in her healing journey since she’s spent more time in nature. 

Of course, Guam is not without its challenges. She’s had to be more strategic about saving money and maximizing getting their nutrients; being on a relatively remote island comes with a high cost of living and limited shopping options. Balance and health can only be possible if they’re sustainable, and this move has helped her to be more humble and more empathetic to her clients. 

As a coach, she feels more capable and confident helping others because she’s gone through so many of the same problems and struggles as her clients. She’s had unproductive and unhealthy relationships with food and fitness, her skin is loose and stretches more after having two kids, and her life is full of time-consuming demands.

However, she sees her kids as her reason to be fit, not an excuse or an obstacle. She wants her clients to see that their fitness journey increases their capacity to hold more in their lives. “Mothers are the life blood of families,” Taryn said, and she wants to ensure that they are nurturing themselves just like they support their children and husbands. She knows firsthand how important physical, mental, and emotional strength are and how fitness and wellness build and promote them. 

What Military Spouses Can Learn From Taryn’s Story

So many military wives have an entrepreneurial spirit, and it makes Taryn sad that they label their businesses as just a hobby and downplay their passions. She takes pride in being a business owner, a mother, a wife, and a fitness enthusiast; it is possible to hold multitudes and to be multi-faceted. Similarly, while it’s easy to see the frequent moves in military life as an obstacle, Taryn hopes they can be reframed as an advantage. Because her business is online, she has a client base all over the world, and the military’s frequent moves help her to network with a wide variety of communities. 

“Don’t just accept things as being unchangeable…be a lifelong learner, be a lifelong experimenter, let yourself evolve,” Taryn urged. There is never a perfect time to start, but taking the first step is crucial to finding happiness and fulfillment. Through all the stressors, obstacles, and unexpected and unwanted twists and turns, Taryn said with pride, “I can find joy in whatever my experience is; change doesn’t scare me anymore.” Essentially, she sees life as having two options: you can succumb to the hard things and let them make you boring, or you can let adversity make you an interesting person who is open to change. After all, you “can’t build a life without the hard stuff.”

Katie McDonald is a Navy wife, and she and her husband are currently stationed in Guam. After 5 years as an English teacher, Katie is currently working as a freelance writer and enjoys writing about books and travel. https://www.katiereads.com/