The First Day they are Gone

The first day they are gone really sucks.  When they leave in the early morning vs afternoon/evening, the first day is even harder.  Why?  Because when they leave later in the day you have less of a first day to get through. You can come home and go to bed and then before you know it, you are on day two. This is such a little thing but the time of day makes a big difference.

The first day they are gone you walk around your house in a daze.  You want to be out doing something but you don’t want to at the same time.

The first day they are gone you see something you bought together at the store and looking at what you bought makes you cry.  You see their dirty laundry and the pile makes you cry. You would give anything for them to come home and add more dirty laundry to the pile.

The first day they are gone you realize you can toss that almost empty bottle of shaving cream because no one is going to be around for a while to use it up.  And then you cry because no one will be around to use the shaving cream up.

The first day they are gone you sometimes forget and then remember quickly that they are not coming home that night.  That you will be on your own for dinner, bedtime and you will sleep alone. Earlier in the day, you can almost pretend they are just at work. After dinner, you can’t do that anymore and reality starts to set in.

The first day they are gone you wonder what he is feeling, what he is doing, where he is at. If he is scared or how much he is missing home. If he cried too even though you rarely see tears in his eye. If he wishes that at that moment, he had chosen a career that never took him from home.

The first day he is gone you try to figure out how you are going to make X amount of days.  You wonder how you will be both mom and dad and how you will handle life when your children realize daddy won’t be coming home at night for a while. You know solo parenting is difficult and here you are having to do everything once again.

The first day he is gone you are hit hard with how hard this military life can be sometimes and how strong you will have to be to make it through the deployment.

The first day they are gone sucks, it really really sucks and you pray the second day they are gone is a little bit better. Because after day one is over, you are officially in deployment mode and you have a long road ahead of you. But at least, after day one is over you know you have one less day to get through until they come home.

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