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What to Know About Being Stationed in Guam

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Moving to Guam may come with a range of emotions for your family. My husband was excited for the sandy beaches, clear blue water, proximity to major cities like Tokyo and Seoul, and the more laidback culture that awaited us. I was nervous to be thousands of miles and a full twenty-four hours (minimum) of travel away from my family and friends.

I worried about finding a job, a community, and a sense of “home” in a place that would feel so different from the East Coast. It’s okay to feel both ends of the emotional spectrum and to oscillate between them in the lead-up to your move; change is exciting and scary! To help build your excitement further and ease your worries, here are 5 things you should know about moving to Guam. 

What to Know About Being Stationed in Guam
  1. Life is Slower Here

Growing up on Long Island, I was used to a go-go-go lifestyle in a crowded and bustling part of the country. Guam, however, is a chance to step back and savor those stunning sunsets and take the time to just float in the ocean. The speed limit throughout the island caps off at 35mph.

Rather than seeing this as an inconvenience, enjoy the chance to look at the waves and palm trees as you listen to the radio. Mail is slow right now, and we all let out a collective groan when we get the notification that our package is being transported by boat. Sure, I miss my 2-day Amazon Prime shipping and don’t love waiting two months for a package, but it helps me plan ahead for purchases, be resourceful about finding what I need nearby, and resist the temptation to impulse shop. 

  1. A Strong Sense of Community

Whether you live on base or off, there are a lot of opportunities to create a strong community of friends and found family. With the steep prices of airline tickets and the long journey back, it’s not feasible for a lot of military families to visit the States for the holidays and special events. While homesickness is very real with those geographic barriers, know that you are very much not alone in your feelings.

Everyone is a little homesick, and we make an effort to hang out together to keep the loneliness at bay. From celebrating toddlers’ birthdays to going to trivia nights at breweries to joining a pickleball league, we have found many ways to hang out with friends and expand our circle. Military spouse Facebook groups have helped me to find book clubs and volunteer opportunities, and I love finding women who share similar interests and passions with me.

Village festivals, church fiestas, Night Markets, and the many events sponsored at Andersen Air Force Base and Naval Base Guam all help to create a sense of community and fun. 

What to Know About Being Stationed in Guam
  1. New Flavors

When you attend a festival, fiesta, Night Market, or Chamorro BBQ, you might notice some new foods and flavors. Red rice gets its color from achote seeds, but don’t worry, the red color doesn’t mean it’s spicy. KFC, surprisingly, serves some solid red rice, and it’s one of the first things I pile on my plate. Kelaguen is a similar cooking preparation to ceviche because the chosen protein is mixed with lemon juice, salt, and hot peppers. BBQ chicken, shrimp, octopus, and other fish are common meats in this. “Pika” means spicy in Chamorro, and Guam’s famous denanche’ (hot sauce) is made with donne’ peppers. My husband especially likes it when coconut crab meat is added! Familiar fruits like mangos and avocados grow on Guam, but you can also try less familiar ones like soursop and star apple. Don’t be afraid to ask vendors about the foods they’re selling or to reach out to a farmer to learn more about local dishes and produce! 

  1. New Kinds of Seasons

While you won’t get spring, fall, and winter, there are two distinct seasons in what feels like an endless summer. We moved in the height of rainy season, which stretches from July to November. Does this mean it rains all day, every day? No, but you can expect heavy rains in the afternoons and a greater chance of a typhoon.

Typhoon season is pretty similar to hurricane season, and the same preparations and precautions apply. It’s a good idea to always have flashlights, batteries, canned food, and bottled water on hand. Dry season brings cooler breezes, far less rain, and more sunny days. Guam has daily earthquakes, but the majority of them are far too small to even feel. When they are large enough to feel, they usually do not cause damage, but they did catch me by surprise! 

What to Know About Being Stationed in Guam
  1. New Hobbies

Because of Guam’s year-round tropical weather and beautiful beaches, many people take advantage of this rare opportunity to spend so much time on or near the water. Many people will become dive certified to explore the clear waters teeming with fish in the surrounding reefs. If you’re a bit less adventurous like me, you may enjoy observing a wide variety of marine life while snorkeling instead. From paddleboarding to cycling around the island to sunset yoga to waterfall hikes, there’s so many ways to enjoy the great outdoors by yourself, with your family, or with a new group of friends. Facebook groups are your friend here to find people with similar interests, and you’ll soon find your calendar filling with adventures. 

Katie McDonald is a Navy wife, and she and her husband are currently stationed in Guam. After 5 years as an English teacher, Katie is currently working as a freelance writer and enjoys writing about books and travel.. https://www.katiereads.com/

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5 Things to Do When You Hate Your Duty Station

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5 Things to Do When You Hate Your Duty Station

So you hate your duty station. You have tried. You really have. But you can’t stand it. And you won’t be PCSing anytime soon. What should you do? How do you make peace with it? Can you?

Here are some ideas:

1) Cry it out

Okay, so you hate your duty station. Please take a moment, cry about it, get it all out, because you are going to need to pull it together to create a plan. You can’t stay in the crying stage, but use it as a motivator to help you figure something out.

Like it or not, the military is going to send you where it wants to, even if you hate it. It is a good idea to figure out ways to make even the worst duty station work for you.

2) Make a plan

Okay, you had a good cry. Now it is time to make a plan. Sit down and make a list.

Try to come up with positives about the area and your home. Perhaps it’s that you are only 15 minutes from an airport, so traveling is 110% easier than it was before, when you were two hours away from one. Maybe it’s the fact that your kids have already found a fun friend base, and even if you are still working on it for yourself, that is something to celebrate.

Think of the positives. I know that is not always going to be easy, but it is there. Now, make a list of what you dislike, and once you have done that, think of anything within your power that you can do to address those issues.

You won’t be able to fix everything. I can’t fix the traffic in the Fort Campbell area, and trust me when I say it is the worst. However, there are some things you can fix; sometimes, you just need to think about it for a while. There is something you can do to improve your time at your duty station. There really is.

3) Join some groups

Okay, one of the best ways to enjoy a duty station is to find your people. And I know what some of you are thinking. You have tried to find your people, but everyone here sucks.

The reality? There is not one duty station where everyone sucks. Okay? There just isn’t. People are people, and they come in all types. I am not saying there are not sucky situations. There are. However, in many cases, getting out there and meeting new people is likely to be beneficial.

So join some groups. Whatever type of thing you are into. Do you like to read? Join a book club. Do you want to hike? Joining a hiking club. Have little kids? Join MOPS or another playgroup. Even going to the park regularly can help you meet new people.

4) Explore

Have you explored your area? Taken a day trip? Make a plan to explore some of the things in your area. It might surprise you.

Sometimes, we can become so caught up in the day-to-day that we miss what is around us. And there might be some fantastic things. Make a bucket list of fun things to explore. It should brighten your outlook.

5) Create a home

You might not be able to control the city you are in, or the way the duty station is, but you can focus on your actual home. Whether it is a condo, apartment, a house, or military housing, make it yours as much as you can. Having a comforting place to relax can go a long way.

Sometimes, you just hate your duty station, and it can feel like nothing can be done about it. During military life, you could end up somewhere you don’t want to be for many different reasons. Finding ways to make peace with where you are will go a long way. And you could be pleasantly surprised by what you find out.

5 Things to Do When You Hate Your Duty Station

Being Content When The Military Moves You Far From Home

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I moved out of my parent’s home and away from my hometown when I was 18. I couldn’t wait to explore and live somewhere else. I couldn’t wait for that independence. I was so ready and left when I had the chance to go.

When I did that, I didn’t know how far that independence would take me. When I was 26, we moved from Northern California to Kentucky, even further away. When my husband joined the Army, we moved to Germany, an ocean away. We came back to Tennessee and have been here ever since, and where we live now is exactly 1,985.9 miles away from “home.”

There is a part of me that yearns to be back. To be able to live where I used to live, to be able to do the things I used to do on a regular basis (like go to Disneyland once a week,) and to live the life I used to have.

Being Content When The Military Moves You Far From Home

But here is the thing…

Time has moved on, not just for me, but for my hometown. Maybe this isn’t true for everyone, but where I grew up is so different in 2022 than when I left in 1997. There is a lot more traffic, and less rain, and Disneyland is way more expensive.

I once had a pastor tell me something that still sticks with me to this day. I told him about our church back in California and how special that place was. How I wanted to find something like that again.

He told me that while that was amazing, if we left right then and returned, the church would be a different place. That it is easy to assume everyone from our past is frozen in time, but that isn’t true. People have changed, places have changed, and going back wouldn’t be like stepping right back in right after we left.

So if I were to pack up my family and head back to Southern California, things would be different. And maybe part of that is that I have changed. I am used to life in other places, not so much the life of someone in Southern California. This hit me hard on one of my most recent visits.

And it isn’t like I couldn’t adjust to life there again, I am sure I could. I am sure that over time, things would be okay. But remembering that I can never go back to 1997 and how things were back then is a comfort to me in a place so far from home.

As military spouses, many of you don’t live near where you grew up.

Some of you might just be a few hours away, others, across the ocean. You could be the type of person who couldn’t wait to leave, or maybe you never thought you would until you married your soldier and you had to go. Living away from home can be difficult, even for those of us who couldn’t wait to move away.

You miss things. You miss birthdays, weddings, and other events that make you sad to think about. You become the people that other people used to know. You become a part of their history and are no longer a part of their present. And that can be hard to take.

Homesickness can be real. You can feel like you gave up everything and for what? You might wonder if the time away is worth it. If spreading your wings a bit was worth it the homesickness.

How can you be content when the military moves you far from home?

Here are some ideas:

Embrace your independence

When you leave home, you become more independent just by doing so. There is now a lot more distance between you and your family, between you and what you are used to, between you and your comfort zone. You have to do things you didn’t think you would have to do, and you will grow stronger for it.

Embrace this independence that comes from being far from home. Take a look back at what you have done on your own. Look ahead to the future and on what you can accomplish based on these skills you have learned.

Explore your new home

Get out there and see what your current area has to offer. It might be totally different than what you are used to, but that’s okay. This will force you out of your comfort zone, but that can be a good thing.

Look up bucket lists for your new duty station, talk to your neighbors, and look for what other people do in their free time. Getting involved in your new community will help you find contentment there and lessen the effects of homesickness.

Visit

Yes, you moved away. But that doesn’t mean you can’t ever visit. Now, how often you visit is going to depend on many different factors. You might not be able to afford to do so too often, or maybe you can go home for every holiday. Find a good balance and what will work for you and your family.

If you live close enough, it might be possible to go home every weekend. This might not be the best idea if you want to dive into your new community. Give yourself some time to be where you now live, and not just escape home whenever you get the chance. If you can figure out a new home that is just a few hours from where you are from, those skills will help you when you move farther away.

Invite

Invite your family and maybe even friends to visit your new home. Show them around, show them your new life. Let them see what you are experiencing. Your friends and family want to know you are in a good place and showing them that place firsthand can be a wonderful thing.

When the military moves you far away from home, it can be so hard to figure out how to be content. There is a lot to miss about home, and for many, it can feel like your new duty station will never feel that way. Give yourself some time, get out of your comfort zone, and look for the good in your new place.

Where was the first place you lived after moving away from home?

The 9 Army Posts With New Names

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The 9 Army Posts With New Names

Fort Moore, Fort Liberty, and Fort Cavazos are 3 of the 9 Army posts that will all be renamed by the end of 2023. So far, 8 have already been renamed as you have probably noticed online or in your local area, especially if you live at one of these posts. The last Army post will be renamed before January 2024.

Why are the posts being renamed?

Congress established the Naming Commission in the National Defense Authorization Act of 2021 with the goal to provide removal and renaming recommendations for all DoD items, “that commemorate the Confederate States of America of any person who served voluntarily with the Confederate States of America.”

The Commission issued its first report in May of 2022 and finished its mission in October of 2022. The military posts started changing their names in 2023 and have until the beginning of 2024 to make the change.

Name changes like this can be confusing, even if there is a very good reason to make them. However, these were needed changes and we will now be able to honor others that have served their country in a heroic way, from the Civil War to more modern times.

So which Army installations changed their names? And what did they change them to?

Fort Benning is now Fort Moore

Fort Moore is located near Columbus, Georgia, and is named after Lieutenant General Hal Moore and his wife Julie Moore. The couple was portrayed in the movie, We Were Soldiers. Moore served in the military for 32 years after graduating from the US Military Academy in 1945. He wrote the book, We Were Soldiers Once…and Young which the movie was based on. We Were Soldiers depicts the first major battle of the Vietnam War in the la Drang Valley. He was awarded the Distinguished Service Cross after that fight. His wife Julie was a big advocate for the military community and helped change the way the Army delivered the casualty messages. Hal passed away in 2017, and Julie in 2004. Fort Benning became Fort Moore in May of 2023.

Fort Bragg is now Fort Liberty

Located just outside of Fayetteville, NC, Fort Liberty is the only post not changing its name to a person, but instead to an idea. The post will be named after the word “liberty” which is an American and military value. Fort Bragg became Fort Liberty in June of 2023.

Fort Hood is now Fort Cavazos

Located near Killeen, TX, Fort Cavazos is named after General Richard E. Cavazos. He was born in 1929 in Kingsville, TX, and was the first Hispanic 4-Star General in the US Army. He served in the military for 33 years, including during the Korean and Vietnam wars. He was stationed at Fort Hood in the 1950s and retired from the Army in 1984. Cavazos passed away in 2017. Fort Hood was changed to Fort Liberty in May of 2023.

Fort Lee is now Fort Gregg-Adams

Located near Petersburg, VA, Fort Gregg-Adams is named after two people. Gregg for Lieutenant General Arthur J. Gregg, and Adams for Lieutenant Colonel Charity Adams, two Black officers, and trailblazers for equality in the US Army.

Gregg enlisted in the Army in 1946 at just 17 years of age. He established himself as an outstanding logistician and in 1979 became the Army’s first Black officer to serve as a Deputy Chief of Staff for Logistics. He was also the highest-ranking Black Army officer when he retired from the military in 1981. In his 90s, he is also the only one being honored that is still alive today.

Adams was the first Black officer in the Women’s Army Auxillary Corps during WW2 and led the first predominantly Black Women’s Army Corps unit to serve overseas. But the time retired she became the highest-ranking Black woman at the time. She passed away in 2002. Fort Lee became Fort Gregg-Adams in April of 2023.

Fort Picket is now Fort Barfoot

Located near Blackstone, VA, Fort Barfoot is named after Colonel Van T. Barfoot, who was a recipient of the Medal of Honor during WW2. Barfoot enlisted in the Army in 1940 and served in the military for 34 years, including time in Korea and Vietnam. Although he was never an official member of the Choctaw Nation, his grandmother was. He passed away in 2012 at the age of 92. Fort Picket became Fort Barfoot in March of 2023.

Fort Rucker is now Fort Novosel

Located in Dale County, AL, Fort Novosel is named after Chief Warrant Officer Michael J. Novosel Sr., who is a Medal of Honor recipient. He joined the Army Air Corps in 1941 when he was 19 years old. During World War II he flew B-29 Superfortress bombers. After the war he remained in the Reserves, serving as a part of the newly formed Air Force while in Korea. During Vietnam, he volunteered for active duty as a warrant officer and helicopter pilot since the Air Force had too many senior officers at the time. In October of 1969, he saved 29 men and received the Medal of Honor and in total flew over 2,500 extraction missions in Vietnam. He served in Army Aviation until 1984 and passed away in 2006. Fort Rucker became Fort Novosel in April of 2023.

Fort A.P. Hill is now Fort Walker

Located near Bowling Green, VA, Fort Walker is named after Dr. Mary Edwards Walker who was an American abolitionist, prohibitionist, prisoner of war, as well as a surgeon. She is the only woman to ever receive the Medal of Honor. Dr. Walker was born in 1832 and earned her medical degree in 1855. She was hired by the Union Forces and was assigned to the Army of the Cumberland and later the 52nd Ohio Infantry. She became the first woman surgeon in the US Army and was captured by the Confederates as a POW until she was released during a prisoner exchange. She received her Medal of Honor after the Civil War for treating the wounded in battle and across enemy lines but in 1917, the award was rescinded. In 1977 it was restored by President Jimmy Carter. She passed away in 1919 after supporting the Woman’s Suffrage Movement. Fort A.P. Hill became Fort Walker in August of 2023.

Fort Polk is now Fort Johnson

Located near Leesville, LA, Fort Johnson is named after Sergeant William Henry Johnson, who was a Black World War I hero. Johnson enlisted in the US Army in 1917 and was assigned to an all-black national guard unit that later became the 369th Infantry Regiment. In May of 1918, he single-handly stopped the German forces from approaching the main French line. He was awarded the French Croix de Guerre with Palme, which is France’s highest award for Valor. He passed away in 1929 and was posthumously awarded the Purple Heart in 1996 and the Distinguished Service Cross in 2002. Fort Polk became Fort Johnson in June of 2023.

Fort Gordon is now Fort Eisenhower

Located in Augusta, GA, Fort Eisenhower is named after former President and General of the Army, Dwight D. Eisenhower. In 1911, he accepted an appointment at West Point and graduated in 1915. He was then posted to Fort Sam Houston in Texas. While he did serve in the Army during WWI, he never went overseas. He did, however, receive a Distinguished Service Medal for his work at home. Over the years he rose through the ranks and became the General of the Army in 1944 and later became the new Chief of Staff of the Army after the war. He served as the 34th President from 1953 to 1961. He was then reinstated to the rank of General of the Army after his Presidency. He passed away in 1969. Fort Gordon will become Fort Eisenhower in October of 2023.

While getting used to new names can take some time, these name changes are for the better and gives us the chance to honor a few more American heroes.

When You Are Feeling Homesick At Your Duty Station

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When You Are Feeling Homesick At Your Duty Station

Have you ever felt homesick at your duty station? As a military spouse, you might be far from home and that isn’t always easy. Being the family member that misses everything is hard. Being the one that can’t go to the baby shower or misses birthdays on a regular basis is difficult to deal with. Being the one without family nearby can be frustrating.

As a military family you could end up in so many amazing places, Hawaii, Germany, Japan…✈️

You might end up on the East Coast when you have never been east of Utah before.

You might end up in South Korea when you never even thought about getting a passport before.

You might end up in Alaska, going through your first snowy winter after growing up in Florida.

Wherever you are stationed, wherever you are currently living, take advantage of the experience. I know that is hard to do sometimes, some places are easier to live than others but blooming where you are stationed is a must. Doing so will make the whole experience a lot easier for you and your entire family. 💐

However…whether you are happy where you are currently living or not, you can feel homesick at your duty station.

There are days when you wish you could hop on a plane, and spend some time with your mom.

When you wish you could meet up with your best friend for lunch.

Or stop by and spend an afternoon with your grandparents.

If you have just moved to a new duty station, you might still feel lost, like you will never find your way or will never make a circle of friends like you had before. You might start to think that if you can only go back home, everything will be okay again.

But as a military spouse, you usually can’t go back home. Maybe your spouse can never be stationed nearby where you grew up. Maybe they can but it just hasn’t happened yet and you are not sure it ever well. Maybe your family has moved away and you know if you did go home, things would never be the same.

As a military spouse, you know that you will be living in different places, and at your core, you know that the best thing to do is learn to love where you live, but that isn’t always easy.

Here are a few things you can do if you are feeling homesick at your duty station:

Connect to your duty station

Are you spending all of your time at home? Get out and explore and check out your new neighborhood. What are you interested in? Look for a group based on that. Find a new playgroup. Or, explore your base or post for fun events. The more time you spend getting to know your new home, the better.

Don’t dwell on the differences

Are you dwelling too much on how different your current home is from where you just came from? Make a list of positives about your current duty station look online if you need ideas. If you spend all of your time thinking about what you don’t have, that will make enjoying what you do have harder to find.

Focus on you

As military spouses, we can get stuck in the day-to-day duties of living this life. However, that doesn’t mean you can’t find ways to focus on yourself. What are your goals? Do you want to go back to school? Find a new job? Have another baby?

Spend some time thinking about how you are spending your days and how you can move forward with your goals. If you are spending time working on yourself, you won’t have as much time feeling sad about where you are living and what you are missing about home. You will be busier and find over time, that you really are loving your new experiences.

You might never get to a place where you never feel homesick again, but you can get to a place where your time at your duty station isn’t going to be the worst thing in the world. It might take time, but it is possible.

Where are you stationed? How have you been able to kick your homesickness and enjoy your current home?

The 10 Worst Duty Stations

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Duty stations are such a popular topic. People always want to know everything about where they are going to PCS or the differences in duty stations. They want to know all about the best duty stations and the worst duty stations.

I have thought about making a list of the 10 worst duty stations for a while. I know there are certain places where people just dread going, and maybe for good reason. These places aren’t the ideal, especially when you could get stationed at some amazing places.

However, I also strongly believe that you can “bloom where you are stationed” anywhere you might end up. That doesn’t mean you have to love your duty station, but that you don’t have to spend every day hating it, and that there are things to love about every place you might go.

So…what makes something the “worst” duty station? How can you get past that feeling? Well…here you go:

The 10 Worst Duty Stations
  • The duty station where your best friend just moved away from

Finding your military spouse BFF is the best, but when that happens, something else will too, your best friend will probably have to move away at some point. And if they don’t, you do. And that sucks.

What can you do to help? Stay connected with them, even over the miles. Work to meet new people. And remember all those precious mememorues you have had togetger.

  • The duty station far from your family

Being away from family can be difficult for some people, especially if this is your first duty station. But there is something special about being out on your own, and making somewhere new your home. Try not to dwell on feeling homesick so much and work to find a place in your new location.

  • The duty station you can’t find a job

You have worked hard, went to college, and as soon as it was time for you to find a job, your service member spouse gets orders overseas. Now there is no way to find a job in your field. This can be so frustrating.

You can stay behind, but that isn’t an option for most families. You can look and see what volunteer jobs you can get at your new duty station that you can add to your resume. You can think outside the box and try something different, or even work hard to find that ideal job, despite the difficulties of finding one where you are currently living.

  • The duty station that deploys your spouse too much

One question that comes up a lot is “how often is my spouse going to deploy if we PCS to this duty station” but that question is hard to answer. The number of times they deploy, how long they are gone, and anything to do with deployments depends on a lot of factors.

The best thing to do if your spouse is going to deploy a lot is find a good friend circle, fill up your calendars as much as you can, and know you are not alone in this.

  • The duty station with awful housing

Sometimes there is nothing you can do about bad housing at your duty station. You just have to deal with it, and try to make it your own. On the other hand, you might be able to move, either somewhere else on-post or off-post. Check out your options and go from there.

  • The duty station where you just can’t find your people

You assume that once you move to your new duty station, you will eventually find a fun friend group like you had before. But after a couple of months, it seems like you aren’t going to find your people. This is something we military spouses can struggle with.

If you find yourself in this position, make sure you are getting out there on a regular basis and trying to meet new people. Sign up for things you are interested in, take the kids to playgroups, and be friendly with those you meet when you are out and about.

  • The duty station that seems too expensive

There are a few places you could get stationed that will cost more than other places. This can be frustrating. Housing off-post might seem like too much or you might feel like your family can’t go out and do anything because of the costs.

Make sure you are doing your budget every month, find ways to save, and look for fun free events going on in your community.

  • The duty station you didn’t think you would end up

Maybe you just assumed you would always stay in the south, but now here you are on an airplane headed to Hawaii. And you are terrified.

Anything out of your comfort zone can be scary, but think of your new duty station as an adventure. Read up on the fun you can have where you are going, or the experiences of people who have lived there. And trust yourself to make the most out of your stay.

  • The duty station no one has ever heard of

Sometimes your spouse will get orders to a place no one has ever heard of. These can be smaller duty stations, or more specialty based and because of that, you can’t find much information on them. If you need to know about Fort Hood or Fort Campbell there is a ton of information out there but not so much on a duty station most people have never heard of.

See if you can connect with the FRG (if they have one) or other spouses in your service member’s new unit. If you do have to go in without knowing too much, see what your post or base has available to you to get to know the area. They might have a newcomers class you can join.

  • The duty station you have been before and didn’t want to return

Maybe you were stationed somewhere for a few years and hated it. Then you left. Now five years have gone by and guess what? Your spouse just received orders to go back. You are filled with dread.

But remember, the duty station you left in 2014 is going to be different than the one you PCS to today. Duty stations change, people move in and then move away, you could have a completely different experience in the same place. Do not assume that your first time there will be exactly like you second.

What makes or breaks a duty station for you?

Being Content When The Military Moves You Far From Home

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I moved out of my parent’s home and away from my hometown when I was 18. I couldn’t wait to explore and live somewhere else. I couldn’t wait for that independence. I was so ready and left when I had the chance to go.

When I did that, I didn’t know how far that independence would take me. When I was 26, we moved from Northern California to Kentucky, even further away. When my husband joined the Army, we moved to Germany, an ocean away. We came back to Tennessee and have been here ever since, and where we live now is exactly 1,985.9 miles away from “home.”

There is a part of me that yearns to be back. To be able to live where I used to live, to be able to do the things I used to do on a regular basis (like go to Disneyland once a week,) and to live the life I used to have.

Being Content When The Military Moves You Far From Home

But here is the thing…

Time has moved on, not just for me, but for my hometown. Maybe this isn’t true for everyone, but where I grew up is so different in 2025 than when I left in 1997. There is a lot more traffic, and less rain, and Disneyland is way more expensive.

I once had a pastor tell me something that still sticks with me to this day. I told him about our church back in California and how special that place was. How I wanted to find something like that again.

He told me that while that was amazing, if we left right then and returned, the church would be a different place. That it is easy to assume everyone from our past is frozen in time, but that isn’t true. People have changed, places have changed, and going back wouldn’t be like stepping right back in right after we left.

So if I were to pack up my family and head back to Southern California, things would be different. And maybe part of that is that I have changed. I am used to life in other places, not so much the life of someone in Southern California. This hit me hard on one of my most recent visits.

And it isn’t like I couldn’t adjust to life there again, I am sure I could. I am sure that over time, things would be okay. But remembering that I can never go back to 1997 and how things were back then is a comfort to me in a place so far from home.

As military spouses, many of you don’t live near where you grew up.

Some of you might just be a few hours away, others, across the ocean. You could be the type of person who couldn’t wait to leave, or maybe you never thought you would until you married your soldier and you had to go. Living away from home can be difficult, even for those of us who couldn’t wait to move away.

You miss things. You miss birthdays, weddings, and other events that make you sad to think about. You become the people that other people used to know. You become a part of their history and are no longer a part of their present. And that can be hard to take.

Homesickness can be real. You can feel like you gave up everything and for what? You might wonder if the time away is worth it. If spreading your wings a bit was worth it the homesickness.

How can you be content when the military moves you far from home?

Here are some ideas:

Embrace your independence

When you leave home, you become more independent just by doing so. There is now a lot more distance between you and your family, between you and what you are used to, between you and your comfort zone. You have to do things you didn’t think you would have to do, and you will grow stronger for it.

Embrace this independence that comes from being far from home. Take a look back at what you have done on your own. Look ahead to the future and on what you can accomplish based on these skills you have learned.

Explore your new home

Get out there and see what your current area has to offer. It might be totally different than what you are used to, but that’s okay. This will force you out of your comfort zone, but that can be a good thing.

Look up bucket lists for your new duty station, talk to your neighbors, and look for what other people do in their free time. Getting involved in your new community will help you find contentment there and lessen the effects of homesickness.

Visit

Yes, you moved away. But that doesn’t mean you can’t ever visit. Now, how often you visit is going to depend on many different factors. You might not be able to afford to do so too often, or maybe you can go home for every holiday. Find a good balance and what will work for you and your family.

If you live close enough, it might be possible to go home every weekend. This might not be the best idea if you want to dive into your new community. Give yourself some time to be where you now live, and not just escape home whenever you get the chance. If you can figure out a new home that is just a few hours from where you are from, those skills will help you when you move farther away.

Invite

Invite your family and maybe even friends to visit your new home. Show them around, show them your new life. Let them see what you are experiencing. Your friends and family want to know you are in a good place and showing them that place firsthand can be a wonderful thing.

When the military moves you far away from home, it can be so hard to figure out how to be content. There is a lot to miss about home, and for many, it can feel like your new duty station will never feel that way. Give yourself some time, get out of your comfort zone, and look for the good in your new place.

Where was the first place you lived after moving away from home?

4 Things I’d Do Differently if I PCSed Back to Okinawa

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4 Things I’d Do Differently if I PCSed Back to Okinawa

“Everything is weird” was my initial gut reaction after moving home to the United States not quite two months ago. I am sure it was also my reaction three plus years ago when first arriving on Okinawa—the little subtropical island which is home to 13 U.S. military bases.

I essentially have no regrets about my time as an honorary island girl, but if I ever got the chance to PCS back to Okinawa again, there are few things I would do differently, or at least do more of.

When your time on Okinawa or in Japan wraps up, there are sure to be bucket list items you didn’t get to. For example, my husband and I always said we wanted to tour the Naval Underground area from WWII, and, well…nope, we never did do that. But that’s not the kind of “do more” that I mean.

Absolutely make your list of things you want to see and do and try to check them off, but when I say “do more,” I mean knock out the big stuff. If it’s your first time on the island, here are my take-aways as someone who has “been there, done that.”

Before moving to Okinawa, I was sure a car would not be necessary. I had traveled to Tokyo and figured it would be very similar. And, of course, I was wrong! There are public buses on Okinawa, plenty of taxis, and a monorail in the Naha area, but the majority of folks find a car the easiest way to get around. 

So, buy an island car and don’t be afraid to drive it. Yes, the steering wheel is on the opposite side of the car. Yes, you’ll hit the windshield wipers when you meant to use your turn signal (also known as “the Okinawa wave”), and yes, you’ll probably drive down the wrong side of the road at least once, but let’s hope not more than twice! Remember, you’ll also be giving yourself the opportunity to get out of the house more and have a lot of adventures.

Learn Japanese. You’ll pick up the very basics even without trying very hard, but three years is a relatively short time to learn a new language. I’m almost embarrassed by how little I learned. Give it some effort and see how far your learning can take you. Knowing just a little extra vocabulary and a few common phrases will enrich your experiences when you are out and about.

Meet more people. Isn’t this great advice no matter where your duty station is located? However, when you are living overseas, it is really important to avoid isolating yourself. It will be harder to get home to see family and friends, and it might even be difficult to communicate with them while living in a different time zone. Surround yourself with people who can keep your island days nice and bright, just as they should be.

And lastly, worry less. An OCONUS PCS is a huge deal, often more difficult than other PCS moves you may have been through. Do whatever you need to do in order to worry less about what’s going to happen and what it’s going to be like on Okinawa, or in Japan (or wherever else your service member’s career may take you). It’s not worth it to be concerned about all the “What if?” scenarios. You’ll wind up missing out on all the, “Wow, isn’t that amazing!” moments.

Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life Guest Post by Angie Andrews