Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

duty station

4 Things I’d Do Differently if I PCSed Back to Okinawa

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4 Things I’d Do Differently if I PCSed Back to Okinawa

“Everything is weird” was my initial gut reaction after moving home to the United States not quite two months ago. I am sure it was also my reaction three plus years ago when first arriving on Okinawa—the little subtropical island which is home to 13 U.S. military bases.

I essentially have no regrets about my time as an honorary island girl, but if I ever got the chance to PCS back to Okinawa again, there are few things I would do differently, or at least do more of.

When your time on Okinawa or in Japan wraps up, there are sure to be bucket list items you didn’t get to. For example, my husband and I always said we wanted to tour the Naval Underground area from WWII, and, well…nope, we never did do that. But that’s not the kind of “do more” that I mean.

Absolutely make your list of things you want to see and do and try to check them off, but when I say “do more,” I mean knock out the big stuff. If it’s your first time on the island, here are my take-aways as someone who has “been there, done that.”

Before moving to Okinawa, I was sure a car would not be necessary. I had traveled to Tokyo and figured it would be very similar. And, of course, I was wrong! There are public buses on Okinawa, plenty of taxis, and a monorail in the Naha area, but the majority of folks find a car the easiest way to get around. 

So, buy an island car and don’t be afraid to drive it. Yes, the steering wheel is on the opposite side of the car. Yes, you’ll hit the windshield wipers when you meant to use your turn signal (also known as “the Okinawa wave”), and yes, you’ll probably drive down the wrong side of the road at least once, but let’s hope not more than twice! Remember, you’ll also be giving yourself the opportunity to get out of the house more and have a lot of adventures.

Learn Japanese. You’ll pick up the very basics even without trying very hard, but three years is a relatively short time to learn a new language. I’m almost embarrassed by how little I learned. Give it some effort and see how far your learning can take you. Knowing just a little extra vocabulary and a few common phrases will enrich your experiences when you are out and about.

Meet more people. Isn’t this great advice no matter where your duty station is located? However, when you are living overseas, it is really important to avoid isolating yourself. It will be harder to get home to see family and friends, and it might even be difficult to communicate with them while living in a different time zone. Surround yourself with people who can keep your island days nice and bright, just as they should be.

And lastly, worry less. An OCONUS PCS is a huge deal, often more difficult than other PCS moves you may have been through. Do whatever you need to do in order to worry less about what’s going to happen and what it’s going to be like on Okinawa, or in Japan (or wherever else your service member’s career may take you). It’s not worth it to be concerned about all the “What if?” scenarios. You’ll wind up missing out on all the, “Wow, isn’t that amazing!” moments.

Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life Guest Post by Angie Andrews

All The Basics You Need to Know about Aberdeen Proving Ground, Maryland

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Aberdeen Proving Ground is an excellent place to be stationed. Take a sigh of relief if this is where your orders are for. Northeast Maryland is a good, safe, convenient place to live.

Was it my favorite of all the places? 

No. It was not, but this was our COVID station. We arrived in 2019, just before the pandemic, and we are leaving as restrictions are ending. All our time here was colored by the whole pandemic, four kids in the virtual school experience. It was hard. I’m sure many of you can relate.

We have been an Army family for twenty whole years now, though, so I do have plenty to compare it to. So long as you do not live in the area immediately outside the base gates, APG is a stellar duty station.

Aberdeen Proving Ground has everything you need. 

The Basic FAQS:

-This is a small U.S. Army installation.

-The base does have a Commissary, Aafes Exchange, and Shoppette.

-There is also a satellite campus of APG called Edgewood.

-Children living on base are districted for Harford County Public schools. More on that in a minute.

-Tons of people choose to live off post, in Bel Air or Havre de Grace, to take advantage of the more highly rated schools. That’s what we did.

-If you move too far away from post though you might find yourself missing your military community. We missed them!

-A nice happy medium of good schools but still being close to base and other military families might be settling down in the Abingdon, Havre de Grace, or South Bel Air area. 

-There is a TON to see and do around APG. More about that later.

Let’s talk about the schools. 

For us, the school district is always the deciding factor on where we choose to live because we have school-aged children. When we were younger, and it was not a factor, we did enjoy living on post or anywhere that felt nice.

Living on post is convenient, so first, you want to know a little about where APG kids go to school:

-Roye-Williams Elementary school

The schools serving post are not local favorites. For military kids, Roye-Williams is probably similar to many other schools they have been to. That said, I do not want to say bad things about a school we have not even set foot in. I have known at least two fantastic teachers who worked there, so I can assure you it is not all bad. 

Don’t take Great School’s word for it. Ask other military spouses currently stationed there in the Aberdeen Facebook group. 

-Aberdeen Middle School

–Aberdeen High School

We are so fortunate now that we live in a time where we can go online to a Facebook group and ask other current military spouses about their experiences with the community and the schools. In my younger years, we did not have this advantage.

Aberdeen Proving Ground

Housing

Housing on post is nice and not too hard to obtain if you are okay with the school district. 

We turned down a house in the Edgewood location of post because of the long history of toxic testing on the Edgewood campus. Large areas of Edgewood are considered contaminated and are abandoned. There are whole ghost neighborhoods. 

Knowing that, take a drive around to decide what you are comfortable with before you sign for an Edgewood house.

Some of the houses on base do offer a beautiful view of the water. 

We knew we would be in the area for at least three years, so we did buy a house in nearby Bel Air. That was our choice to take advantage of the highly rated schools that Bel Air has. There are always pros and cons to that, but the biggest con here was the whole covid pandemic.

Healthcare

Kirk Army Health Clinic will probably be your assigned clinic for the whole family. 

Kirk is on APG proper, and according to Tricare, it is the only clinic Tricare Prime insurance holders are allowed to sign up with. That is what Tricare told me when I called to ask about switching to a civilian PCM off post.

The doctors and staff at the clinic are competent, kind, and courteous. Sometimes it is hard to be seen, and sometimes it isn’t. We frequently use the local urgent care when we need a strep test or such.

Here is my only problem with Kirk. Kirk Army Clinic has an odd referral policy. 

This is the only military health clinic I have had this exact problem with, but they often write bad referrals.

The clinic has a policy that you cannot pick your referral provider. They want it to be random, so unless you have a doctor that day who helps you out, you almost always have to re-do your referral with Tricare later.

This clinic wrote me referrals to specialists who are retired a couple of times. Another time, they referred my seven-year-old to an ENT doctor who did not see children. Often, they send us way out of town to Baltimore when there are plenty of local doctors who accept Tricare and would have seen us. 

This broken referral process caused me a lot of frustration. 

For each one, I would have to find the Tricare number, call them, wait through the long call prompters, and then get the Tricare operator to switch us to local, still working physicians. 

That is why I switched healthcare plans for myself.

Johns Hopkins has a Prime Tricare plan you can switch to. It is still free, still a Prime plan, so you still have to do the referral dance. However, if you switch, you get a Johns Hopkins Waters Edge PCM, and the referral process happens far more smoothly. 

I finish my appointment, then I go out in the hall to see the referral secretaries. They say, “Who would you like to see? Where would you like to go for your specialist?”

Wow. Isn’t that nice?

Granted, I still do not know, but I can make sure they send me somewhere local to someone who has not retired, rather than finding out two weeks later I am being sent an hour away.

That is my recommendation. I did not switch the kids over, but they do not often go to the doctor, so it has not been a huge problem.

Besides, like most military families, we live our life saying, “Well, it’s only for a few more months.”

Isn’t it sad but funny how much we put up with because we know we won’t have to deal with it for long?

Weather

Northerners think it’s warm here, and southerners think it is freezing. I will say it is cool or cold eight months out of the year. Snow is mild, but it does happen. 

It is extremely humid. If you have a basement, make sure you put a dehumidifier down there, or you will have a serious mold problem.

Fun Things to Do

Like most military families, we are always on the lookout for new places to explore. That is our favorite perk about being such nomads. 

In Northeast Maryland, you are right on the Chesapeake Bay. During Covid, all pools were closed, so we went to a state park and rented a pontoon boat. It was wonderful.

Now that the pandemic is over, APG’s pools are open again. They do have awesome pools for families. We used them even though we lived twenty minutes away because the pool is free for active-duty families.

You are an hour or less from Pennsylvania and Delaware. Plus, Washington, D.C. is only one and a half to two hours’ drive down I-95. 

Amish country around Lancaster, Pennsylvania is a treasure trove of things to do and see. It is only an hour from Harford County. We drove up there regularly and enjoyed seeing the sights.

There is a Megabus in White Marsh that will take you up to New York City, which is only a few hours away. We have thoroughly enjoyed exploring these surrounding areas. 

Make sure you plan some fun day or overnight trips to take advantage of living so close to so many historic and fun places. 

Beautiful countryside near Lancaster 

Overall, an APG assignment is a win.

All of life has returned to normal now. Social events, kids’ sports, and regular school are all back. Like most places, life is starting to feel less pandemic-level-stressful. 

You have everything you need here in the Aberdeen area, and there are so many places to explore nearby. I hope you thoroughly enjoy your time at Aberdeen Proving Ground.

Feel free to ask me any questions you have in the comments here. I would also love to have you visit me where I blog at www.gettingmyacttogether.com. 

10 Restaurants You Should Try in the Fort Campbell Area

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Looking for a new restaurant to try in the Fort Campbell area?

Going out to eat can be a lot of fun, especially with the world opening back up after 2020. Trying out new restaurants can be a great way to learn more about your new home. Here in the Fort Campbell area, we have many restaurants to try. Some closer to post than others.

There are many different types of places to go and visit and explore here on the Kentucky and Tennessee border. From Bar and Grills to bakeries with treats you can’t get enough of. The Fort Campbell area is also growing and seems to be adding new places to try all the time.

Here are a few restaurants in the area that our family has been to and have enjoyed:

10 Restaurants You Should Try in the Fort Campbell Area

Blackhorse Pub and Brewery

Blackhorse is one of my favorites. Unfortunately, they had a fire early this year and are temporality closed. Blackhorse has a big pub feel and is especially cozy during those cold winter days, or nights. I love their prime rib sandwich and hope they will be back open before the end of the year. They are located at 132 Franklin Street in Downtown Clarksville.

10 Restaurants You Should Try in the Fort Campbell Area

Kimo’s Hawaiian Bar and Grill

Unfortunately, Kimo’s has since closed.

Kimo’s serves Hawaiian food and yummy cocktails and is located at 125 Franklin Street in Downtown Clarksville. The kalua pork is amazing and they have plenty of tropical cocktails to try.

El Bracero

El Bracero is a fun place to get together with friends for some quesadillas and margaritas. There are three located in Clarksville, and one in Hopkinsville. They also have a military discount.

Silke’s Old World Breads

Were you stationed in Germany and miss getting those yummy German bakery treats? Well, the Fort Campbell area has a place you can go to get them. Silke’s is a bakery and cafe you are going to want to check out. Order a plate of schnitzel and bratwurst, with a side of German cake for dessert. They are located at 1214 A College St. in Clarksville.

Johnny’s Big Burger

Looking for a local place to get a yummy hamburger and fries? You can find just that at Johnny’s Big Burger, across from the Austin Peay Campus. Make sure to bring cash, and don’t forget to order a shake. You can find them at 428 College Street in Clarksville.

10 Restaurants You Should Try in the Fort Campbell Area

The Depot Bar and Grill

The Depot is a little further away from Fort Campbell, but worth the drive. The food is so delicious, I love the chicken salad sandwich, and the atmosphere is great! We like to stop there on the way to Nashville. Find them at 1007 S Main St. in Springfield, TN.

Golly G’s

Golly G’s is such a fun place to take the kids for ice cream or other baked goods. They also have. a lunch menu. In Clarksville, they are located in the Sango area at 2622 Madison St. You can also find locations in Pleasant View and Greenbrier.

Chi-Town Hotdogs

In the mood for a really yummy hotdog? Check out Chi-Town Hotdogs. So many yummy choices. They do only accept cash and are closed on Sundays and Mondays. Find them behind the Big Lots at 1057 S. Riverside Dr. in Clarksville.

10 Restaurants You Should Try in the Fort Campbell Area

Liberty Park Grill

Want to take in a meal by the river? Check out Liberty Park Grill right at the Clarksville Marina. They make some yummy salads and will give you a free meal on your birthday. After dinner, take a walk along the river and watch the sunset. Perfect for date night!

Woody’s Hand Tossed Pizza

I love going to Woody’s with my family because we rarely have to wait, can get pizza for everyone, and they have some yummy salads too. They have three locations in the area, on Tiny Town Rd, Woodlawn, and Sango areas.

Finding local places to love at a new duty station is so important to do. Doing so will help you feel more connected to the area, and make for a better experience.

Within the Fort Campbell area you can find many of your favorite chain restaurants, but going out and trying a more local place to eat can be a lot of fun, and help you find favorite places you will want to return to over and over again.

Bloom Where You Are Stationed During a Pandemic

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Bloom Where You Are Stationed During a Pandemic

Even though some people’s orders have been delayed because of the pandemic, others are still moving or pcsing.

While it is a good thing military families can move on to the next step, it can be difficult when you are doing so during this time.

While you normally could be looking forward to getting to know your new community and for your kids to start at a new school to make friends, you feel like all of that might be on hold.

You want to get out and explore but how much can you really do right now? How can you figure out how to bloom where you are stationed if you can’t do what you normally do to get to know a new place?

Even if you aren’t new to your current duty station you may be feeling a bit restricted.

Your friend circle could have moved earlier this year and while you assumed you would get right back out there to make some new friends, COVID hit.

You may be awaiting orders to move somewhere new but they are delayed and you want to figure out how to enjoy the next six months at a place you are not too excited about.

Blooming where you are stationed doesn’t always come easy. Some places will be easier to love than others. But there is probably something good about anywhere you have to live, even if you have to hunt for it.

What can you do?

So what can you do? What is open and where do you feel comfortable exploring? This is going to differ for everyone and will depend on where you live.

Still…see what you can do. Use safety measures and make sure to follow the local regulations.

Accept the temporary setup

Okay I know it is hard but you might need to just accept things are not going to be the way you were hoping they would be. I know this is so hard because in some ways it feels like this is going to last forever.

Your kids might not be able to get out there and make new friends right away, but could they have a weekly Zoom call with friends they already know?

You won’t be able to introduce yourself to the moms in line at school pick up but can you say hi to a neighbor or talk over the fence on a regular basis?

You might not be able to attend all the fun events that normally go on in your community but you might be able to attend a social distancing event of some kind. Our local community still has a farmer’s market going on and there are other options to get out and explore part of the community.

Explore online

There is so much going on online these days. From virtual events to Bible Studies. From book clubs, to even concerts.

Check and see what your local communities might be doing and join an online event. This might feel different and weird but it could be a good way to learn about what is happening in your new community and you might even find ways to connect with others.

2020 is the worst but don’t let this year stop you from figuring out how to bloom where you are currently stationed. It might take some work but in the end, it will make life a little easier right now. And hopefully, 2021 will be an amazing year to see everything and explore the way you really want to.

The 10 Worst Duty Stations

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Duty stations are such a popular topic. People always want to know everything about where they are going to PCS or the differences in duty stations. They want to know all about the best duty stations and the worst duty stations.

I have thought about making a list of the 10 worst duty stations for a while. I know there are certain places where people just dread going, and maybe for good reason. These places aren’t the ideal, especially when you could get stationed at some amazing places.

However, I also strongly believe that you can “bloom where you are stationed” anywhere you might end up. That doesn’t mean you have to love your duty station, but that you don’t have to spend every day hating it, and that there are things to love about every place you might go.

So…what makes something the “worst” duty station? How can you get past that feeling? Well…here you go:

The 10 Worst Duty Stations
  • The duty station where your best friend just moved away from

Finding your military spouse BFF is the best, but when that happens, something else will too, your best friend will probably have to move away at some point. And if they don’t, you do. And that sucks.

What can you do to help? Stay connected with them, even over the miles. Work to meet new people. And remember all those precious mememorues you have had togetger.

  • The duty station far from your family

Being away from family can be difficult for some people, especially if this is your first duty station. But there is something special about being out on your own, and making somewhere new your home. Try not to dwell on feeling homesick so much and work to find a place in your new location.

  • The duty station you can’t find a job

You have worked hard, went to college, and as soon as it was time for you to find a job, your service member spouse gets orders overseas. Now there is no way to find a job in your field. This can be so frustrating.

You can stay behind, but that isn’t an option for most families. You can look and see what volunteer jobs you can get at your new duty station that you can add to your resume. You can think outside the box and try something different, or even work hard to find that ideal job, despite the difficulties of finding one where you are currently living.

  • The duty station that deploys your spouse too much

One question that comes up a lot is “how often is my spouse going to deploy if we PCS to this duty station” but that question is hard to answer. The number of times they deploy, how long they are gone, and anything to do with deployments depends on a lot of factors.

The best thing to do if your spouse is going to deploy a lot is find a good friend circle, fill up your calendars as much as you can, and know you are not alone in this.

  • The duty station with awful housing

Sometimes there is nothing you can do about bad housing at your duty station. You just have to deal with it, and try to make it your own. On the other hand, you might be able to move, either somewhere else on-post or off-post. Check out your options and go from there.

  • The duty station where you just can’t find your people

You assume that once you move to your new duty station, you will eventually find a fun friend group like you had before. But after a couple of months, it seems like you aren’t going to find your people. This is something we military spouses can struggle with.

If you find yourself in this position, make sure you are getting out there on a regular basis and trying to meet new people. Sign up for things you are interested in, take the kids to playgroups, and be friendly with those you meet when you are out and about.

  • The duty station that seems too expensive

There are a few places you could get stationed that will cost more than other places. This can be frustrating. Housing off-post might seem like too much or you might feel like your family can’t go out and do anything because of the costs.

Make sure you are doing your budget every month, find ways to save, and look for fun free events going on in your community.

  • The duty station you didn’t think you would end up

Maybe you just assumed you would always stay in the south, but now here you are on an airplane headed to Hawaii. And you are terrified.

Anything out of your comfort zone can be scary, but think of your new duty station as an adventure. Read up on the fun you can have where you are going, or the experiences of people who have lived there. And trust yourself to make the most out of your stay.

  • The duty station no one has ever heard of

Sometimes your spouse will get orders to a place no one has ever heard of. These can be smaller duty stations, or more specialty based and because of that, you can’t find much information on them. If you need to know about Fort Hood or Fort Campbell there is a ton of information out there but not so much on a duty station most people have never heard of.

See if you can connect with the FRG (if they have one) or other spouses in your service member’s new unit. If you do have to go in without knowing too much, see what your post or base has available to you to get to know the area. They might have a newcomers class you can join.

  • The duty station you have been before and didn’t want to return

Maybe you were stationed somewhere for a few years and hated it. Then you left. Now five years have gone by and guess what? Your spouse just received orders to go back. You are filled with dread.

But remember, the duty station you left in 2014 is going to be different than the one you PCS to today. Duty stations change, people move in and then move away, you could have a completely different experience in the same place. Do not assume that your first time there will be exactly like you second.

What makes or breaks a duty station for you?

What To Do When You Are Feeling Homesick At Your Duty Station

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As a military spouse, you might be far from home and that isn’t always easy. Being the family member that misses everything is hard. Being the one that can’t go to the baby shower or misses birthdays on a regular basis is difficult to deal with. Being the one without having family nearby can be frustrating.

What To Do When You Are Feeling Homesick At Your Duty Station

As a military family you could end up in so many amazing places, Hawaii, Germany, Japan…✈️

You might end up on the East Coast when you have never been east of Utah before.

You might end up in South Korea when you never even thought about getting a passport before.

You might end up in Alaska, going through your first snowy winter after growing up in Florida.

Wherever you are stationed, wherever you are currently living, take advantage of the experience. I know that is hard to do sometimes, some places are easier to live than others but blooming where you are stationed is a must. Doing so will make the whole experience a lot easier for you and your entire family. 💐

However…whether you are happy where you are currently living or not, homesickness can set in.

There are days when you wish you could hop on a plane, and spend some time with your mom.

When you wish you could meet up with your best friend for lunch.

Or stop by and spend an afternoon with your grandparents.

If you have just moved to a new duty station, you might still feel lost, like you will never find your way or will never make a circle of friends like you had before. You might start to think that if you can only go back home, everything will be okay again.

But as a military spouse, you usually can’t go back home. Maybe your spouse can never be stationed nearby where you grew up. Maybe they can but it just hasn’t happened yet and you are not sure it ever well. Maybe your family has moved away and you know if you did go home, things would never be the same.

As a military spouse, you know that you will be living in different places, and at your core you know that the best thing to do is learn to love where you live, but that isn’t always easy.

Here are a few things you can do if you are feeling homesick at your duty station:

Connect to your duty station

Are you spending all of your time at home? Get out and explore and check out your new neighborhood. What are you interested in? Look for a group based on that. Find a new playgroup. Or, explore your base or post for fun events. The more time you spend getting to know your new home, the better.

Don’t dwell on the differences

Are you dwelling too much on how different your current home is from where you just came from? Make a list of positives about your current duty station look online if you need ideas. If you spend all of your time thinking about what you don’t have, that will make enjoying what you do have harder to find.

Focus on you

As military spouses, we can get stuck in the day to day duties of living this life. However, that doesn’t mean you can’t find ways to focus on yourself. What are your goals? Do you want to go back to school? Find a new job? Have another baby?

Spend some time thinking about how you are spending your days and how you can move forward with your goals. If you are spending time working on yourself, you won’t have as much time feeling sad about where you are living and what you are missing about home. You will be busier and find over time, that you really are loving your new experiences.

You might never get to a place where you never feel homesick again, but you can get to a place where your time at your duty station isn’t going to be the worst thing in the world. It might take time, but it is possible.

Where are you stationed? How have you been able to kick your homesickness and enjoy your current home?

Being Content When The Military Moves You Far From Home

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Being Content When The Military Moves You Far From Home

I moved out of my parents home and away from my hometown when I was 18.5 years old. I couldn’t wait to explore and live somewhere else. I couldn’t wait for that independence. I was so ready and left when I had the chance to go.

When I did that, I didn’t know how far that independence would take me. When I was 26, we moved from Northern California to Kentucky, even further away. When my husband joined the Army, we moved to Germany, an ocean away. We came back to Tennessee and have been here ever since, and where we live now is exactly 1,985.9 miles away from “home.”

There is a part of me that yearns to be back. To be able to live where I used to live, to be able to do the things I used to do on a regular basis (like go to Disneyland once a week,) and to live the life I used to have.

Being Content When The Military Moves You Far From Home

But here is the thing…

Time has moved on, not just for me, but for my hometown. Maybe this isn’t true for everyone, but where I grew up is so different in 2018 than when I left in 1997. There is a lot more traffic, less rain, and Disneyland is way more expensive.

I once had a pastor tell me something that still sticks with me to this day. I was telling him about our church back in California and how special that place was. How I wanted to find something like that again.

He told me that while that was amazing, that if we left right then and returned, the church would be a different place. That it is easy to assume everyone from our past is frozen in time, but that isn’t true. People have changed, places have changed, and going back wouldn’t be like stepping right back in right after we left.

So if I were to pack up my family and head back to Southern California, things would be different. And maybe part of that is that I have changed. I am used to life in other places, not so much the life of someone in Southern California. This hit me hard on my last visit there this past summer.

And it isn’t like I couldn’t adjust to life there again, I am sure I could. I am sure that over time, things would be okay. But remembering that I can never go back to 1997 and how things were back then is a comfort to me in a place so far from home.

Being Content When The Military Moves You Far From Home

As military spouses, many of you don’t live near where you grew up.

Some of you might just be a few hours away, others, across the ocean. You could be the type of person who couldn’t wait to leave, or maybe you never thought you would until you married your soldier and you had to go. Living away from home can be difficult, even for those of us who couldn’t wait to move away.

You miss things. You miss birthdays, and weddings, and other events that make you sad to think about. You become the people that other people used to know. You become a part of their history and are no longer apart of their present. And that can be hard to take.

Homesickness can be real. You can feel like you gave up everything and for what? You might wonder if the time away is worth it? If spreading your wings a bit was worth it?

How can you be content when the military moves you far from home?

Being Content When The Military Moves You Far From Home

Here are some ideas:

Embrace your independence

When you leave home, you become more independent just by doing so. There is now a lot more distance between you and your family, between you and what you are used to, between you and your comfort zone. You have to do things you didn’t think you would have to do, and you will grow stronger for it.

Embrace this independence that comes from being far from home. Take a look back at what you have done on your own. Look ahead to the future on what you can accomplish based on these skills you have learned.

Explore your new home

Get out there and see what your current area has to offer. It might be totally different than what you are used to, but that’s okay. This will force you out of your comfort zone, but that can be a good thing.

Look up bucket lists for your new duty station, talk to your neighbors, look for what other people do in their free time. Getting involved in your new community will help you find contentment there, and will lessen the effects of homesickness.

Visit

Yes, you moved away. But that doesn’t mean you can’t ever visit. Now, how often you visit is going to depend on many different factors. You might not be able to afford to do so too often, or maybe you can go home for every holiday. Find a good balance and what will work for you and your family.

If you live close enough, it might be possible to go home every weekend. This might not be the best idea if you want to dive into your new community. Give yourself some time to be where you now live, and not just escape to home whenever you get the chance. If you can figure out a new home that is just a few hours from where you are from, those skills will help you when you move farther away.

Invite

Invite your family and maybe even friends to visit your new home. Show them around, show them your new life. Let them see what you are experiencing. Your friends and family want to know you are in a good place and showing them that place first hand can be a wonderful thing.

When the military moves you far away from home, it can be so hard to figure out how to be content. There is a lot to miss about home, and for many, it can feel like your new duty station will never feel that way. Give yourself some time, get out of your comfort zone, and look for the good in your new place.

Where was the first place you lived after moving away from home?

How To Go About House Hunting From Afar

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Excited to have this guest post from Millie! Please visit my Duty Station Guest Posts page for more information on guest posting 🙂

How To Go About House Hunting From Afar

How To Go About House Hunting From Afar

“We have orders to WHERE???”

By Kellie Artis, gomillie.com

Once the orders drop, there are a few decisions that need to be made: will we live on base or off? And if we decide to live off base, will we rent or will we buy? Each of these decision points come with several considerations, but let’s just say that you decide to rent or buy a home in the community. Great! Now, where do you start?

Sometimes the stars align so that you can actually take a trip out to “recon” an area before your move. Often, this is a luxury considering all of the things that must fall into place to allow for such a trip: childcare, time off work for the spouse, leave for the service member, and non-reimbursable travel expenses. More often than not, you’ll be house hunting from afar.

Research

The absolute first place online you should visit is www.gomillie.com. MILLIE is a one-stop-shop for researching your next duty station, understanding the surrounding areas, and getting the inside scoop from a military family perspective. All of the information comes directly from hundreds of military spouses stationed at each of the 70+ installations featured on the site. Just go to the Find a Base page and search for your upcoming duty station! You’ll get the dish on area schools, the local housing market, attractions, pros and cons, even unit-specific maps and commute charts.

Grab a coffee and settle in to learn some of the most pertinent information about your new home and where to start on your virtual house hunt! From here you should have a pretty decent idea of where you’re going to want to start your home search. You will be a dream client for any real estate agent, and you’ll save tons of time by doing your research up front.

House Hunting

Finding an Agent

If you are considering buying a home, you’ll want to find an agent that understands your unique situation as a military family, and won’t be afraid of geographic restrictions (ie. potentially not being able to physically tour a home!). They also need to understand that military families buy with the future in mind. Unless this is your last stop, this purchase won’t be a forever home, but likely be a rental property after a couple of years. You’ll also want an agent that is knowledgeable of the VA loan benefit. We’ve heard over and over again of agents that have tried to talk military buyers out of using their benefit, likely because they have bought into some of the myths surrounding it, or aren’t familiar enough with it. A great agent will also be willing to do virtual tours (sometimes with really snazzy VR tech), and work around crazy time constraints.

Recommendations from friends is a good place to start when choosing who you’ll trust with this massive transaction. But if you don’t have a network where you’re headed, you can be expertly paired with a real estate agent who meets all of the above criteria, AND has also actually personally experienced a PCS. MILLIE’s AgentHero Network is made up exclusively of military spouse and veteran real estate agents who have served – just like you! They’re top agents who are also uniquely attuned to the needs of military clients because they’ve been in your shoes. You can connect with one of over 600 AgentHeroes within an hour directly from the MILLIE site.

House Hunting

Finding a Rental

Sometimes buying a home doesn’t make sense, so you’re on the hunt for a rental. By now you’ve done your research and have an idea of what area to focus on in your search. Next head over to MilitaryByOwner.com to start compiling actual listings to consider.

With each listing, remember that you can’t smell photos (cat pee or cigarette odor, anyone?) and they may have failed to mention the neighboring cellular tower in the listing. Sometimes homeowners or management companies will offer to give you a virtual tour, but keep in mind that there is an incentive for them to gloss over or completely omit the quirks and/or defaults of a home. Asking local friends to help out with “recon” is always an option, but if you don’t have a network where you’re headed or don’t want to lean on your friends in that way, you can turn to a MILLIE Scout. Scouts are military spouses who can be your boots-on-the ground when you can’t be there. You can hire a Scout to conduct a Facetime tour with you, provide neighborhood reviews, and more! This way you have an objective fact-finder that you can trust from afar to help provide decision support, and feel better about the dreaded “sight-unseen” situation we’re often faced with.  

House hunting from far away can be stressful, but with the right tools you can make decisions efficiently and from an informed point of view.  

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MILLIE is an online community and digital marketplace that connects members of the military and their families with specialized knowledge and trusted resource providers to remove the stress and anxiety of PCS’ing. Check out MILLIE’s Installation and Neighborhood Guides, our network of Veteran and military spouse Realtors, and Scout, our on-demand task service composed of military spouses.

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