Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

Valentine's Day

The Truth About Valentine’s Day When You Are a Military Spouse

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The Truth About Valentine's Day When You Are a Military Spouse

Flowers, chocolate, candy hearts, and expectations. It sounds like another Valentine’s Day is around the corner, but when you are a military spouse, this holiday probably isn’t going to be as exciting as it could be…


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For one thing, your spouse might be gone. They might be deployed, across the ocean. So you are not even going to see your spouse on the 14th. And that being the case, ignoring the whole thing is pretty easy to do. You tell yourself it is just a made-up holiday anyway, who cares.


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But then, you are walking through Target and you see the chocolate, and you think, wouldn’t it be nice to get some chocolate this year? If nothing else, just some chocolate? Because if you are going to be alone for Valentine’s Day, you might as well have chocolate, right?


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So you buy yourself a box and decide that no matter what, you are going to have a good February 14th, you are going to have a good Valentine’s Day. Once you get home you remember you were going to send a Valentine’s Day care package to your husband, only it is already February 10th so it is going to be a little late. And you wonder if he will even care really. Sure, he loves to get a package from you but does it need to be a Valentine’s Day care package?


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Ya, you think, maybe I will just wait until after Valentine’s Day, buy him some 50% off chocolate and send that instead. But then, I have my kids to think about. And the fact that they need Valentines for their classes, guess you are going back to Target to pick some out. In a perfect world, you would get on Pinterest, pick out a cute idea and get to work but Marvel, Barbie, and those addictive candy hearts are going to have to sponsor Valentine’s Day this year.


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And then it is Valentine’s Day, and since your spouse is off making our nation a better place, you have to decide how you are going to spend the day. The kids are armed with Valentines for their classmates, you also got them a couple of things because in the end, Valentine’s Day is about love and you do love your children. You decide to get one of those heart pizzas for dinner because your kids will get a kick out of it and hey, it’s pizza.


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So you finish dinner, the kids loved the heart-shaped pizza and hey, you didn’t have to cook so that was a win. After the kids go to bed you dig into your chocolate hoping that your husband will get online and at least wish you a happy Valentine’s Day. So you put on a cheezy romance of some kind and wait with your chocolate, you know the chocolate you bought to have on this day.


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And as you wait you just tell yourself that next year he will be home and you will go big. You will get a babysitter and hit the town. It’s just this year that kinda sucks. But then you remember last year when he was home, and you pretty much did the same thing as you are doing this year because you have kids and you are on a budget and really, Valentine’s Day isn’t such a big deal anyway.


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And right before you go to bed, he gets online and you say your “Happy Valentine’s Day” to each other. You smile because you are happy to be married to this guy and no that no matter how many Valentine’s Days he has to miss, you will always love him. And you know that there will always be plenty of chocolate to get through anything you two have to endure during his military career.


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Just Another MilSpouse Valentine’s Day

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Just Another MilSpouse Valentine's Day

You can head to your local Target before it is even January 1st and be hit in the face with Valentine’s everything. That stuff shows up way before your ready and seems to stick around way too long. All for one day in February.

As a military spouse, this day can be pretty frustrating. If your spouse is deployed, if your boyfriend is away at basic, if your service member is off training somewhere, you kinda just want to skip the whole thing.

At the same time, you wouldn’t mind getting some flowers, eating some conversation hearts, and even doing something special for your kids.

It’s just another milspouse Valentine’s day, and your emotions are all over the place.

Should you send your spouse a Valentine’s Day care package? Should you host a Galentine’s Day party instead? What if you just don’t want anything to do with the day?

The good news is, you can do what you want, and make Valentine’s Day what you want. You can do what works for you and your family and you don’t have to feel guilty about it.

So, for a milspouse Valentine’s Day, you can:

Go all out

For some, Valentine’s day is all about the red, the pink, and the glitter. If this is you, send a fun Valentine’s Day care package. If your spouse is home, plan for a nice homecooked dinner or make reservations at a local restaurant.

Find a fun present your spouse or partner will love and do what you can to make them feel special. Decorate your home, and get all the candy hearts. There are so many ideas on Pinterest, from making yummy treats, to creating some amazing homemade Valentines.

Celebrate with friends

Galentine’s Day is February 13th, but that doesn’t mean you can’t actually celebrate with friends on the 14th. Maybe everyone’s spouse is deployed and you want to plan a special potluck. Maybe you just want to get together for lunch to enjoy your friendship.

Celebrating friendship is a fun way to celebrate Valentine’s Day. Especially in the milspouse world when our sweethearts are across the ocean. Have fun with it and turn Valentine’s Day into a today for friends.

Celebrate with your kids

Kids always love a good celebration. Bake some Valentine’s Day cookies, put together a fun basket, or just enjoy the night with fun heart-shaped foods.

Help your kids make valentines with your kids for their class. Sometimes this means finding a fun idea on Pinterest and other times adding a couple of candy hearts to a Star Wars pack you got at the Commissary. Don’t put any pressure on yourself or your kids to do something you don’t want to do. In the end, kids love all the valentines they get, no matter how long they took to make.

Do nothing at all

Maybe you are just over Valentine’s Day and sick of wondering year after year if your spouse will even be home for the holiday. I know for us there were quite a few years in a row where my husband was gone, either on deployment or training over February 14th. I think one year he might have even left on Valentine’s Day!

You don’t even have to do anything with the day. You don’t have to give anyone a Valentine’s Day card, and you don’t have to put a lot of pressure on yourself to have that perfect holiday. After all, wasn’t Valentine’s Day made up by a card company anyway?

Whatever you decide to do this year, enjoy it. Maybe this year you are just going to ignore this February holiday, knowing that next year you could do something different. Maybe you just want to celebrate with your friends or family. Enjoy! And make sure to go back to Target on February 15th to get your half-priced chocolate 🙂

How to Celebrate Valentine’s Day if Your Spouse is Deployed

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How to Celebrate Valentine's Day if Your Spouse is Deployed

It’s time for Valentine’s Day! The holiday all about love. The one where you feel the pressure to buy your spouse candy chocolates, or flowers, or teddy bears, and make plans to go out to eat on the most crowded night of the year. Super fun right?

Or not…

Maybe you think the whole thing is silly. A holiday made up by Hallmark to get spouses to buy cards for each other, and make more money. And with the lack of candy hearts this year, is Valentine’s Day even worth worrying about? (PS I did find some at Target a few weeks ago if you are wanting some.)

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Maybe you love Valentine’s Day but unfortunately this year, your spouse is deployed and you will not be spending the day together. In fact, you aren’t even sure you will be able to talk on Valentine’s Day.

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In the past, you guys have showered each other with gifts and went out to dinner, not even worried about the crowds of other couples sharing the night with you. But this year, none of that is going to happen, so what can you do?

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Well…one thing you could do is plan a Galentine’s Day with you friends. You probably aren’t the only one without your spouse on Valentine’s Day and this can be a good way to spend the time. You can have yummy food, either do a potluck or go out, bring chocolates for each other, and don’t forget the wine. And these days, you can even find Galentine’s Day party favors.

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You can also order dinner in from your favorite restaurant, so many options these days. Treat yourself to a nice dinner after the kids go to bed. While this isn’t exactly romantic, you will at least be able to have a nice meal, in your pajamas if you want to.

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And if you planned enough ahead of time, you can send your deployed spouse a nice Valentine’s Day care package. Here are some ideas from Jo, My Gosh! And really, if you didn’t send the package in time, that’s okay, just make it an “I Love You” themed one and you will be good to go.

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If your spouse is deployed on Valentine’s Day, you can just have a romantic movie marathon and enjoy the fun of a cheesy Rom-Com. Or, if you are simply not in the mood that type of thing, how about a Netflix end of the world movie instead? Bird Box anyone?

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You could always take the time to write some love letters, remembering all the things you love and miss about your spouse. Find some pretty stationary and get writing. In this world of video chats and text messages, there is something to be said about sending and receiving an old fashioned love letter.

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And if nothing else, you can use this Valentine’s Day as a time to spoil your own children with big candy hearts, cute cartoon Valentines, and a heart-shaped pizza for dinner. They will appreciate that and you will be making some fun memories together with your kids.

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All in all, you can have a good Valentine’s Day, even if your spouse is deployed. It’s just one day, and if this holiday is special to you as a couple, you can keep special even across the miles. You might have to get creative but that can be fun and a different way to express your love to one another. And there is always next year!

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How do you like to celebrate Valentine’s Day when your spouse is deployed? Do you do anything special for yourself or do you just not worry about the holiday at all?