Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

Julie

The Military Should Always Be Paid

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download (19)You have seen the news. The government could get shutdown. This could mean that the Military will not get paid on October 15th like they should be. The pay will be delayed.

Luckily, three banks that a lot of Military members bank with are going to help people out. While I am so thankful for this and while it will allow most of us to not feel the pinch as badly, it still really sucks for morale.

No one in our Military was drafted. Every single person who serves made the decision to do so on their own. The Military is the job they decided to do and how they are supporting their families. In some cases the Military member is the only one bringing in a paycheck. Having that regular paycheck is the pay off for a difficult life. If your spouse is deployed, you will receive extra money which helps with what you are dealing with. This can be a good time to pay off debt, save for the future or just catch up on bills.

So whether the Military member is deployed or not, that money is very important. To not get paid is a huge slap in the face.

While it is true that you should have an emergency fund, some do not. While it is true that you should be prepared for something like this, some are not.

But beyond whether a family has enough money this October, what does not paying the Military do to morale? It crushes it. From the single soldier serving in Afghanistan to the Mom of four trying to hold it together while her husband is deployed for the fourth time. To not get paid feels like a blow. To have to figure out how to make a paycheck stretch that much more is added stress Military families don’t need.

I just pray that everything will work out, that the Military will get paid and that our government can see how important it is that we always, without a doubt, pay those that put their lives on the line for their country.

 

 

Why Everyone Serves Is A Must If Your Are Going Through A Deployment

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This week I will be writing about why every Military Spouse needs a copy of Everyone Serves, a great handbook for those getting ready for a deployment, going through one or in the months after the deployment is over.

Living the Military Spouse life requires a lot of support. Support from family and friends. Possibly support from a church or other religious organization. There are many resources to take advantage of. Everyone Serves is one of them.

This book is a handbook for those of us going through the hard reality that makes up a deployment. When you are going through something like that, you need all the help and support that you can get.

You can read straight through it or look up the section you need at any given time. It can make you feel better about what you are dealing with. It can make it so you don’t feel so alone in your thoughts.

The worksheets can get you thinking about your experiences and the emotions you go through when your loved on is away. It can help you see things you might now be aware of. By watching videos of other Military families, you can hear their ideas and know that you are not going through this alone.

Not everyone has a good local support system. It just doesn’t work out sometimes or the family moves to a new location right before the service member deploys. Using Everyone Serves is not a replacement for real life friends but it can help sort out some of the issues you might be going through if you don’t have anyone local to talk with about it.

The great thing about this guide is that it is free. Anyone who needs to can go and download it. Have you gotten a copy for yourself yet? You should. Even if a deployment is not in your near future. It is always good to be prepared 🙂

 



Follow Blue Star Families on Facebook, Twitter, and Google+ and build a support network so you can keep your family and personal community strong throughout the duration of the entire deployment life cycle.

100 Days Of Deployment

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hghghghgWe are here. 100 days of deployment have been conquered. Technically we will hit 100 days over the weekend.

Last week we hit the three-month mark. I had planned to blog about it. How I was doing much better. How life was getting better. How I was not as sad and upset as I had been. How I had hope that this was going to end. Then Thursday night happened. My air went out again…and the frustration of the last few months fell on my shoulders. I was right back to where I started, at least that is what it felt like. I tried my best to go on and do what needed to be done but it was hard. This last week, I was pretty down. I didn’t want to be around people much. I just wanted to sit, with a fan on me and relax.

Today is much better. I am feeling better once again. I feel more like myself. I feel the days are passing. I feel like we can do this.

I hate the ups and downs that a deployment brings. One day is good, one day is bad. It can eat at you. When you feel so upset and down that you and your spouse and living separate lives. When you feel like no one really understands. When you feel like if you could just make it to bedtime, you would make it. Those times are so very difficult for us Military Spouses.

Deployments can be a journey. They can be a time to reflect on yourself and figure out what needs improvement. They can be a time to learn something new. They can be a time where you might be forced to act outside of your comfort zone.

Once you hit 100 days you can’t help but realize that you are making it through the months. That time is passing. When you think about how long it is since you saw your loved one, you can’t help but think about how making it that many days means you are getting through it. Even if your deployment is a year-long, 100 days is still a great milestone to hit.

Hitting 100 days means you are no longer new to the deployment. It means that you are in the “middle” of the deployment. It means that once you go another 100 days you will have gotten through most of it and homecoming should be close to being around the corner.

I look back at the last 100 days and I seriously wonder how we got here. It felt like I got here on my hands and knees. It has not been easy and I do not feel like the time has passed quickly, quite the opposite.

However, I know the next 100 days will not be as bad. They can’t be. We are already “doing” the deployment. We are more used to not having my husband home. It still hurts and some days still really really suck but there is a little bit of hope there that was not there before.

So to you reading this, if you just started your deployment, I understand. I was just there. I still remember how hard it can be. Take it one day at a time, one minute at a time or if you need to one breath at a time. It might not seem like time is passing at first, but it will. It might seem like you will feel the way you do forever, but you won’t.

Where are you on your deployment journey?

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What I Learned About Gardening This Year

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My Lime Plant…No Limes Yet 🙁

I jumped into gardening this spring. Sure, I had planted things before but this time I went in full force. I had my husband build some boxes and got into square foot gardening. I experimented. I Googled when I didn’t know what to do and I tried a lot of different plants. Some grew well, some did not. Some were picked too early by a curious little boy who thought he was just trying to help Mommy out.

 

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Tomato plant

Now that fall is just around the corner, I can look back and think about what I want to do next year.

Because this was my first year, I tried a lot of different types of plants. Some of them didn’t grow to well. Some of those plants I want to try again, others I don’t really care too much about.

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Green beans

I learned that I LOVE growing peas, green beans, radishes and carrots. And while I like tomatoes, I was not a fan of them in my square foot garden. I also love corn on the cob but did not plan well and could not grow it.

For the most part bugs/critters did not bother my plants but they always attacked the cucumbers 🙁

My carrots grew but needed deeper soil.

Radishes can not be planted too close together and do not like the heat.

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Pumpkins

So thinking on next year…I want one whole box of corn. The other box will have a mix of carrots, peas, green beans and radishes. I might throw in some flowers or peppers too. I might want my husband to build me another box but we will see when the time comes. I might do some lettuce before it gets too hot as well. Instead of just two types I want to try a lot of different varieties.

I plan to grow the tomatoes on my deck in planters.

I also plan to start a lot earlier than I did. I want to get a mini green house of some kind because I just don’t have the space to keep the plants where they need to be inside in the winter.

As far as my fall garden goes…it is going. My green beans are doing well. My peas that I planted a month ago look like they are doing well. I have a few tomatoes that will turn red soonish I think. My pumpkins are just not growing. They flower and look good but then fall off and die. I am not sure if it is a pollination issue or what. I have seen a lot of bees around the plants the last few months. If I do pumpkins again I will need to figure out what happened and what I can do to avoid that in the future.

I am not sure if I will plant more once all these crops are done. I think I need a little break. I thought I might attempt winter gardening but now I am thinking I won’t. It will be time to start the seedlings for the spring before we know it.

As far as where to buy seeds I plan to buy most of mine online next year. I am trying out a few different places. If you buy online where you do buy from?

 

What did you learn about gardening this year?

 

Thoughts On Syria From An Army Wife

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20121103-IMG_0275Today’s Blue Star Family post is going to be about Syria. I was asked to talk about future engagements and the possibility of military action and what it does to morale at home.

So Syria. It looks like we are probably headed to war. Over the last few days I have been trying to figure out how I feel about the whole thing. I kinda understand reasons why we should, but I also understand reasons why we shouldn’t.

I also know that a lot of the Military is worn thin. A lot of service members have been deployed over and over since 2003. Getting into another war right now is not good. This is why I think the US needs to be very sure that going to war is the right thing. If we need to go to war, we need to go to war. However, if there is any other way…

As far as how morale is. It isn’t good, especially within the deployed spouse community. There is a lot of fear. Fear that current deployments will be extended. Fear that their soldier will only be home for a couple of months before they have to deploy again. Fear that something really bad is going to happen.

I feel like I am in an interesting place. My husband is getting out in June. Unless something really odd happens, this will be his last deployment. But after almost 8 years as an Army wife, I still cringe when I think about more war and more deployments. I know what hearing about the next deployment while they are still deployed is like. It is overwhelming.

I wish there was an easy answer to all of this. I wish it was cut and dry. I wish we had been at “peace” for a few years before this crisis came up.

Military families are strong and can endure a lot but how much is too much?

If you are going through a deployment, have you checked out Everybody Serves? It is a great resource whether you are currently going through a deployment, about to start one or just finished one.

Follow Blue Star Families on Facebook, Twitter, and Google+ and build a support network so you can keep your family and personal community strong throughout the duration of the entire deployment life cycle.

Inspirational Film Review of The Movie Camp

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Disclosure of Material Connection: I received one or more of the products or services mentioned below for free in the hope that I would mention it on my blog. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will be good for my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”
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I was able to watch a copy of the movie, CAMP last week.

Nashville, TN – (June 28, 2013) – Word Films announces the August 27 nationwide DVD release of the inspirational film “CAMP.” Inspired by true stories from camps for abused and neglected children, the film’s writer and director, Jacob Roebuck, tapped into real-life events to acknowledge the power of the camp experience and the opportunity it provides to give unconditional love to those seemingly forgotten children who need adults in their lives. “CAMP” is the story of a deeply troubled boy, Eli (Miles Elliot, “The Mentalist”), and an apathetic investment advisor, Ken (Michael Mattera), who get paired together at a summer camp for foster kids and discover the meaning of unconditional love.

The first thing I noticed about the movie was that the camp it was being filmed at looked just like the camp I went to in high school.  I did a search and found out it was…Hume Lake if anyone is familiar with that place. This was great because a lot of the places where it was filmed looked familiar to me. I almost want to say we stayed in one of the cabins that was used in the film.

Given the subject matter of this movie I knew it would be a good story.  When I was in college I interned at a foster care agency and I heard about the  types of homes the kids lived it.  It is hard to imagine that parents would treat their children in such a way that they would have to be removed from the home.  The foster kids in the movie reminded me of the kids I used to work with and how they just want to be loved and treated well.

I really admire the owners of the real life camp and what they are doing for these kids.  After the movie is over you can hear some of the real life stories from former campers and counselors. A few of them have ended up adopting some of the children who attended the camp.

It can be easy to think our world is falling apart but it is nice that there are people out there that have stepped up to help children who need it.

You can now purchase this movie as it just came out on August 27th!

The film is rated PG-13 and has a running time of 111 minutes. For more information about “CAMP,” Royal Family KIDS, Inc. and for a listing of upcoming engagements visit: www.campthemovie.com.

We Are Military Spouses

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20110508-IMG_1553My post today is for Blue Star Families. I will be answering the question, “Are Military Spouses today able to suck it up or are do we whine too much and feel we are entitled?”

I think that most Military spouses today are able to suck it up, at least for the most part. I think there is a difference between being whiney and wanting to vent. I also think it isn’t an easy thing to figure out sometimes. It can be difficult to understand your emotions. We don’t always know why we feel the way we do about certain circumstances.

Whenever Sears does their Heroes At Home (which will be tomorrow by the way) you hear the internet go wild with complaining, venting, name calling and it can get down right nasty at times. Someone can get frustrated over not getting the extra money and someone else calls them entitled. Maybe they are being entitled or maybe they are struggling and thought this would be a good thing for their family. It is so hard to judge, especially on the Internet.

I think this lifestyle can be pretty difficult and because of that a lot of venting goes on. Some people have a harder time than others. We all do what we can to support our service member. Or maybe I should say most of us do. We have all heard the stories of the wife who cheated or just gave up and went home. I think venting can cross into whininess pretty quickly. It is a fine line. One which I am sure I cross some times.

I do think we need services such as FRGs, free or reduced childcare, classes and other support systems through a deployment or even during a non-deployment period. I don’t think that makes us weak. I think it makes us smart enough to realize that we do need some help along the way. And I think those in years past who did not have everything we did are happy that we are given the extra support.

 

What do you think?

 

Follow Blue Star Families on Facebook, Twitter, and Google+ and build a support network so you can keep your family and personal community strong throughout the duration of the entire deployment life cycle.

Dance Your Cares Away With Fraggle Rock On Hulu

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Fraggle Rock on Hulu

Who grew up with Fraggle Rock? I can remember watching this show when I was younger. I have always been a fan of Jim Henson and I love it when my kids enjoy things that I did growing up. It is a special link between us and they love hearing that I did something as a kid that they do now. It does kinda blow them away that I didn’t have the Internet when I was a kid 😉

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On August 22nd, Hulu launched Jim Henson Family TV on Hulu Kids. There are now 10 different shows you and your kids can check out…

“Fraggle Rock“ Four seasons, 96 episodes

“Fraggle Rock: Animated” One season, 13 episodes

“Jim Henson’s Play-Along-Video” One episode

“Mopatop’s Shop“ One season, 32 episodes

“Jim Henson’s Animal Show With Stinky And Jake” One season, 26 episodes

“The Hoobs” One season, 40 episodes

“Mother Goose Stories” One season, 13 episodes

“Secret Life of Toys” One season, 13 episodes

“Wubbulous World Of Dr. Seuss” Two seasons, 40 episodes

“Construction Site” Two seasons, 26 episodes

See anything you remember from when you were a kid?

A few days ago I decided to sign up for Hulu plus again. Because of this my kids can watch all these episodes commercial free. If you do not have Hulu plus you will still be able to watch five rolling, consecutive episodes of each show.

I put on Fraggle Rock on Friday afternoon and caught my two-year old dancing to it. He loved the music. My older boys were excited to watch too. I only wish their Dad was home to watch with them as he is also a big Jim Henson fan. I know he will enjoy watching a lot of these with the boys when he gets home.

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So go grab your kids or your spouse and go watch some Jim Henson TV!