After so many years of running a military spouse blog and social media accounts, it still makes my heart hurt when I see people being unkind.
Whether it’s acting like military spouses don’t have the right to their own community or flat-out calling people names when they disagree, it’s heartbreaking to see.
Kindness always matters, and the military community needs it.
Military Life Is Complicated Enough
It goes without saying that military life is complicated. It can be really challenging sometimes, and we as a community sometimes need extra grace and patience as we work through the hard stuff.
Deployments, PCS moves, solo parenting, career changes, loneliness, and uncertainty can already leave military spouses feeling stretched thin. A supportive community can make those seasons easier, while an unkind one can make them feel even harder.
Having to deal with an unkind person along the way? To have to decide if an FRG meeting is worth it because of the drama? To be afraid to reach out to another military spouse? Totally not cool. We can do better.
“Military life is complicated enough. We do not need to make it harder for one another.”
Why Kindness Matters in the Military Spouse Community
The truth is, we don’t know what someone else is going through. We don’t know all of their struggles. We don’t know the pain or stress they might be going through. So kindness matters.
Kindness matters when you are answering a question on Facebook. Remember, anyone can see what you write on a public page. Even your grandma.
Kindness matters in your local community. In your neighborhood. In your daily lives.
Kindness makes the world a better place, and kindness helps the military community be the best version of itself.
Small Acts of Kindness Go a Long Way
Thankfully, I have seen a lot of kindness during my time as a military spouse. From other spouses being there for another spouse who has a child in the hospital to bringing food to another who is feeling a little overwhelmed with military life.
Kindness doesn’t even have to be big. It doesn’t mean you have to change the world for someone. It just means that you look at the other people in your community with grace and work to make it a better place.
Small Ways to Show Kindness to Another Military Spouse
You do not have to do something huge to make military life a little easier for someone else.
- Check in. A simple text during deployment or another difficult season can mean a lot.
- Answer questions with grace. Remember that every experienced military spouse was new once.
- Share helpful resources. If something helped you, pass it along without judgment.
- Include someone new. Invite the new spouse, neighbor, or parent to join you.
- Know when not to comment. Sometimes kindness means scrolling past instead of adding something hurtful.
Military Spouses Need Kindness Online, Too
With the state of the world today, kindness matters even more. Be an example. Be the better person. All of that matters.
How to Respond With Kindness on Social Media
Some people thrive on making people online feel bad. People they have never met in real life. And for what? Why tear others down when you could just easily build them up?
Don’t like what someone has to say? That’s okay; you don’t have to agree, but I know you know the right and wrong way to respond.
If you see someone struggling, lend a hand in any way you can. Maybe it is just a smile emoji; maybe it’s letting them know about a resource that worked for you. Maybe it’s simply letting them have their space and not commenting at all.
We are all adults, and there is no reason we should see so much nastiness in our military spouse Facebook or on social media accounts. We are all so much better than that.
We Can Build a Better Military Spouse Community
Being kind, whether online or in person, will make our communities, our countries, and our world a better place.
Do what you can, smile, and show kindness wherever you go. Our military spouse community doesn’t have to stay in the hater zone.
Frequently Asked Questions About the Military Spouse Community
Why does kindness matter in the military spouse community?
Military spouses may already be dealing with deployments, PCS moves, solo parenting, career changes, loneliness, and uncertainty. A kind and supportive community can make those difficult seasons feel less isolating.
How can military spouses be kinder online?
Answer questions patiently, avoid name-calling, remember that there is a real person behind the screen, share useful resources, and consider whether a comment will actually help before posting it.
What are simple ways to support another military spouse?
Check in during hard seasons, bring a meal, invite someone to coffee, share a helpful resource, welcome new spouses, or simply listen without trying to fix everything.
What should I do if a military spouse group feels toxic?
You are allowed to step back, set boundaries, leave unhealthy online spaces, and look for communities where people are supportive and respectful.
When you shut yourself off to the military community as a whole, you are shutting yourself off to the ability to meet other people who understand what you are going through. You shut yourself off to the opportunity to meet people who can become family. You shut yourself off to making some amazing memories and getting to know your neighbors and your community.
