Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

military kids

When You Feel Like Your Military Children Are Missing Out

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When You Feel Like Your Military Children Are Missing Out

I remember feeling so torn during our first deployment. I didn’t want to do this Military life thing anymore. I didn’t want my kids to be without their dad. I didn’t want there to be so many pages of my scrapbook where dad was missing.

I started wondering if military life was worth the cost. Was it worth it for my kids to miss so much? I started wondering if despite my husband’s desire to serve, that our family needed to come first and that he shouldn’t do this anymore.

When You Feel Like Your Military Children Are Missing Out

That missing a child’s birth wasn’t worth it…

That missing their first day of kindergarten wasn’t worth it…

That leaving our kids with a stressed-out mom simply wasn’t fair…

And now all these years later I am still not sure if military life is fair to my children. It might not be. And that is a huge pill to swallow.

I can think about all the benefits of military life. I can think of all the places we have been, all the people we have met, and everything we have learned over the years.

But that doesn’t change the fact that my husband missed almost all of my son’s first year of life. That he will miss things in the future. That we will never get these years back.

Walking away from military life can seem like the right thing to do. To see that ETS date and end the military journey. To ask your spouse to pick another path.

For some, getting out of the military is the right thing to do…

For others, it isn’t that simple.

For some, serving in the military is something they have to do. That the military is a part of them. That the military is in their blood. Walking away isn’t possible.

And for the military spouse of that service member, things can be so complicated. You can’t help but wonder where you stand. You can’t help but wonder why they are okay with all the loss and heartache this life can bring.

But you also know that serving is a part of who they are, and what they have chosen as a career path. You know deep down they ache having to be away from you too. You know that they miss you like you are missing them.

When You Feel Like Your Military Children Are Missing Out

And when you remember that, when you remember that even though they choose the military, they also chose you, things get a little easier.

And from that, you can get through what comes. You can help your children through military life. You can be there, and be patient, and know that your path is okay.

Your military life may look so different from your own upbringing.

Your military life might be the opposite of what your civilian friends do.

But it’s your military life, for good or for bad.

While you might never be able to answer the question of if military life is fair to your kids, you know your kids will be able to make it through the challenges, with you by their side.

You might never be able to get those years back but the memories you make when you are together are priceless.

You might not ever have a “normal” life because you married a service member, but you are committed to still living a good one, however that looks.

Don’t be afraid to seek out help during this life. I have many different blog posts here at Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life on deployments, pcsing, and military life in general.

I have a Facebook group, filled with other military spouses who understand.

Check out your local communities to see what is available.

Join your FRG, local MOPS group, or find another way to connect with other military spouses that works for you.

Raising children in the military is, of course, going to be challenging, there is no sense in sugar coating that. You want the best for your children, and when you realize they are missing out, that doesn’t feel like the best.

You might feel guilty about certain parts of this lifestyle, you might wish you could go back and give them something they missed out on, and you might not ever feel 100% about the choice to be a military family.

When You Feel Like Your Military Children Are Missing Out

But in the end, if the love of your life is committed to the military, you can be too. No matter how rocky the road might be.

You can find recourses to help, you can be your children’s steady in a world that doesn’t seem so, and you can take everything one day at a time.

As a mom, you will always do what you can to help your children through life. This doesn’t change just because you are a military family. Every family has challenges, the military life might just be yours.

What are your best tips for raising kids in the military?

The Life of A Military Child

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The Life of A Military Child

April is the month of the military child. The children of those who have chosen to serve their country. The children of those who have given up their normal lives to protect the lives of others. The life of a military child can look very different from the life of a non-military child.

The life of a military child

The life of a military child means a lot of wondering and a lot of waiting. When will daddy be home? When will they be able to talk to mommy again? For the younger child, not knowing when they will see or hear from one of their parents can be confusing.

The life of a military child means having to move too often. Having to start over. Having to say goodbye to friends and not knowing if they will ever see them again. Adults are able to connect with friends through the phone and social media. Kids might not be able to. Once they say goodbye to their friends, they might not ever talk about them again.

The life of a military child can mean disappointment.

Their mom or dad might have to miss that first day of kindergarten, a first communion, or high school graduation. And even if that child understands why their parent has to be away, they still wish they could be there on those special days.

The life of a military child means making memories without both of their parents. There will be times when they go see Grandma, or go camping, or even to Disneyland and mom or dad won’t be able to join them. That through the fun they are having, they are missing a big part of their family. And that isn’t always easy to do.

The life of a military child means being so very proud of what their mom or dad does for a living. It is beaming with pride when they see the flag. It means reading about what the military has done in the past and realizing that their parent is apart of what the military is doing in the future.

The Life of A Military Child

The life of a military child means going to five different schools all before 2nd grade.

It means not being sure about the rules at this school compared to the one they just moved from. It means having to be the new girl or the new boy, more than once.

The life of a military child means meeting people from all over the country and the world. It means making memories with these people, ones that will last forever. It means going off into the world and being able to share the stories of play dates in Germany, and first dates in Japan.

The life of a military child means growing up, watching one of your parents work hard to make life full for them and their siblings, even when it was hard to do so. It means, having patience and knowing that their parents did what they could to make this military life a little bit easier.

The Life of A Military Child

The life of a military child means learning how to be resilient through the challenges military life brings.

It means learning patience at an early age and figuring out how to make the best of a sad situation. To go with the flow, even when that is not what they want to be doing. To realize that there is so much more to this world and that giving back is such a good thing to do.

The life of a military child means saying goodbye, and saying hello again, with bright smiles on their face. It means feeling so excited that Dad is coming home that they can’t even sleep the night before and that this homecoming will feel better than Christmas.

The life of a military child means that in the future, they will know how to handle military life if they choose to join themselves. It means following in their parent’s footsteps who might have followed in their own parent’s footsteps too. It means understanding what you have to give up when you join the military and signing up anyway.

The life of a military child means that in the future when meeting new people, and the person they eventually marry, that they know what saying yes to a military service member will mean. It means knowing what a PCS is, or what it means to shop at the Commissary.

The Life of A Military Child

The life of a military child means that other children might not understand what their life is like.

It’s sharing with their civilian friends about their journey and what their childhood was like. It’s reaching out to others and showing them compassion when they are going through a difficult time since they have been through so many themselves.

The life of a military child is filled with the good and the bad. The hello, the goodbye. It means always learning, always meeting new people, always having to adjust.

The life of a military child means sleepless nights, so many tears, and wondering what will happen next. It also means knowing that they are apart of history and that what their parent do matters, oh it matters so very much.

The life of a military child should be celebrated as we do every April.

As military spouses, we are raising our own military children to the best of our abilities. We know that many parts of this military life are not easy for them, just like they are not easy for us. Yet, we do what we can to make sure they feel loved and can find the extra help they might need to get through.

We help them stay busy, we make plans, we take them on trips. We listen when they share how badly they miss their mom or dad. We hug them and let them know that we miss them too. Even if we are not sure that our words will help, we pray that they do.

How many military children are you raising? How old are they???

 

16 Ways You Know You Are Raising Children In A Military Family

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16 Ways You Know You Are Raising Children In A Military Family

I had exactly 13 months of raising children before we became a military family. When my husband joined the military in 2005, our oldest son was only a little over a year. All the parenting I have done after that has been within military life and culture, at least to some extent.

16 Ways You Know You Are Raising Children In A Military Family

April is the month of the military child, here are 16 ways to know that you are raising children in a military family:

1. None of your children were born in the same place!

One in California, one in Tennessee, one in Germany, what’s so weird about that?

2. You have photos of your children in actual castles, one that is right down the street.

You still can’t get over that you used to live in a house down the street from a castle. Thank you overseas orders.

3. You have a kid-size pair of ACUs somewhere in your home.

You bought them when your husband first joined, and now all your kids have worn them for Halloween.

4. You can’t totally remember if your senior in high school started kindergarten when you were stationed at Fort Riley or if that happened after you moved to Fort Campbell.

Your memory is a little fuzzy back then, and it could have been either place really.

5. They are the cousins that family back home doesn’t quite know as well as the ones that live right there.

Sadly, this can happen because you just can’t seem to get orders for anywhere close to home.

6. Spending time with extended family is always so special because it doesn’t get to happen as often as you would like.

Yes, yes it is.

16 Ways You Know You Are Raising Children In A Military Family

7. Turning 10 is an exciting day, your kids get their very own ID.

And make sure to always have it with you, in case you need it.

8. Your kids know what it is like to be the new boy or girl in class.

Being the new kid is never easy, but in some cases, they are not the only one living in a military town.

9. They also know what it is like to spend a few years in England and then spend a few years in Hawaii.

Or maybe it is more like a few years in Texas and then a few in Alaska. Military kids get to live in different places, and that can make for a pretty fantastic childhood.

10. Your children know what it means when mom gets a little teary and there seem to be more military bags around the house.

Children figure it out, and they know the signs of an upcoming deployment.

11. You have had to reassure a child that they will see their Dad soon, even though you know soon is in four months.

And part of your worries that they might never come back, but you never share that worry with your kids.

12. You have cursed out a bad internet connection because it is your son’s birthday and they wanted to share it with mom across the miles.

That is the worst; kids don’t always understand that it is the connection that is the problem, and not that their mom or dad doesn’t want to talk with them.

13. You have so many Daddy Dolls around the house that they could start their own preschool.

You get them before every deployment, and even sometimes in between.

16 Ways You Know You Are Raising Children In A Military Family

14. Your children use pencils to do homework with USAA, NavyFed, and MWR on them.

You also get these free at every event or fair you have been to in the last five years. But hey, you never run out of these important homework tools.

15. You had at least one of your children during a deployment and thought you were pretty amazing for doing that without your spouse by your side.

Giving birth without your spouse isn’t easy, but we military spouses know doing so could be apart of the deal.

16. You know this life is difficult sometimes, but you also know there are so many amazing things that your kids will get to experience because of raising kids in a military family.

Some days, being a military family can be so hard, but that doesn’t mean military life is without its benefits. Serving your country means being apart of something important. And when you look back in the years to come, you will see how much your family has gained from being apart of the military community.

Keeping Military Kids Busy With Hands On Educational Learning + A Giveaway

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Keeping Military Kids Busy With Hands On Educational Learning

This is a sponsored post by Nakturnal

So you spouse just deployed, now what to do with these kids? When you are suddenly both mom and dad, you have to figure out how you will get through. You will have to figure out how to stay busy so that the deployment will be easier for you and your kids.

There are so many ways to keep kids busy, both inside and outside of your home. From taking them to the park to signing them up for sports and other activities. Make plans and fill up your calendar. Look and see what is available in your local area.

Keeping kids busy during a deployment is going to keep your sane, wear them out so they sleep better at night, and help them make friends and memories along the way. When you can find fun things for your child to do, both of you will have a better deployment experience.

Activities for children

One option would be to sign them up for a Snapology class. 

What’s Snapology?

Snapology is an interactive STEM/STEAM program for kids. They feature technology and popular building toys such as LEGO Bricks and K’nex. This makes for a fun class that focuses on building and creating.

Where are Snapology classes?

You can check out the Snapology website to find where your closest Snapology franchise would be on their website. For those of us at Fort Campbell, that would be in North Nashville but Snapology is also looking for someone to open another Snapology in Nashville.

What does it take to open a Snapology franchise?

You will be able to be your own boss with over 40 different program topics and themes. You can offer field trips, birthday parties, workshops, scouting events, and more for kids ages 1-14. Fill out the form on the website to find out more information about opening your own franchise.

Activities for children

Now for the giveaway, would you like to win a Mascot Alligator Lego set?

Alligator Lego Set

Pretty cute, huh?

Enter the Rafflecopter below 🙂

Make sure you do leave a comment answering the question, What is your favorite thing to do with your kids?  

US addresses only. 

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Sometimes staying busy with your kids means being creative and a Snapology class can be an excellent way to do so. Take some time to check them out and see what they have to offer. Finding the right creative and educational class for your child can be one of the best things you can do and opening your own franchise can be a good way to earn money and do so by helping children.

Make sure to share this Snapology opportunity with your friends 🙂

12 Memes About Military Kids

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12 Memes About Military Kids 12 Memes About Military Kids

April is the month of the military child. These boys and girls live a different type of life but they are resilient and can benefit from military life too. Here are 12 means about parenting and military children.

 

Military children

It’s hard to plan when you don’t know where you will be living in a few years.

 

Military children

Yep, sometimes with these kids, cereal is the best thing to serve for dinner.

 

Military children

This really is one of the hardest parts. You need to be there to comfort your child when they are missing their mom or dad so badly. At the same time, you are hurting too.

 

Military children

Yes! Love those Daddy Dolls!

Military children

Now wouldn’t that solve so many problems?

Military children

The new school year at a new school can be pretty scary.
Be there for your child as they start and go through the process of making friends again.

 

Military children

A week isn’t too long for the military child that is used to having to wait a lot longer.

 

Military children

Yep! Each of my kids was born in a different place!

 

Military children

Seriously! When you have to go months and months without family time, you know how special it really is.

 

Military children

Yep! Such is the life of the military brat.

 

 

Military children

Yep, even grosser than a dirty diaper.

 

Military Children

And when Mom or Dad gets home from the deployment, the kids will get their parent back and there will be nothing but smiles. Seeing them together after so much time apart is a wonderful feeling.

As you make your way through this military life, your kids will be there right alongside you. Be there for them and help them through any struggle that they have. Keep them busy when your spouse is away and make memories together even if someone is missing. They will enjoy talking about what fun they had with your deployed spouse. Remind them that they serve too and they are blessed to be the children of those who have signed up to serve their country.

Chameleon Kids and The Military Kids’ Life Magazine

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Military Kids' Life Cover Issue 2

 

Have you heard of Chameleon Kids? It’s mission is to inspire kids in Military families. They have a wonderful magazine called, Military Kids’ Life that was launched in April 2015 and I was able to review a copy! This magazine an exciting mix of articles based on a quarterly theme to help kids find the adventure in their military lives.

logo_w_digicam

The target age is 6 to 14-year-old boys and girls in military families (Air Force, Army, Coast Guard, Marines, Navy, Active, Reserve, National Guard.) The magazine will come out quarterly and will cost $12.95 for an annual subscription and$3.95 single copy.

magazines for Military kids

I really enjoyed looking through this magazine. The articles were great. I especially loved the ones from the kids about living overseas. Those would be ideal for a child getting ready to move to a new location. There are also articles with recipes, about pets and other topics that would be of interest to Military children.

The magazine is filled with beautiful photos to go with the stories. It also feels like the price is worth the cost. There is enough in it to make it worth buying and not feel like you are paying too much for just a couple of pages.

Although it is geared for older kids, it is great for us moms and dads too. We can even share some of the stories with our younger children.

Chameleon Kids

Here are some links for more information:

Purchase a subscription for your military kids: www.thechameleonkids.com/magazine

Follow us on Facebook for more ways to encourage the bright side of military life: www.facebook.com/thechameleonkids

* I was provided a free copy of the magazine for review! 

My Daddy is a Soldier Book Review

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books for military kids

I love it when Military spouses write books. They can bring reality to the subject they are writing about and have a good point of view on the subject.

I was given the chance to review the book, My Daddy is a Soldier. Written and Illustrated by Brittany Mayfield.

The book is written from the point of view of a child talking about their father who is a soldier. It talks about what he can do because he is one. The illustrations show a multicultural mix of soldiers which is nice to see.

books for military kids

This book is perfect for the Military child. Either those first learning to read or to be read to by a parent or older sibling.

The book is available in paperback on Amazon 🙂

 

 

* I was provided a free copy of the book for review! 

Cooper and Me and the Military book review and giveaway

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Cooper and Me and the Military

 

Raising children in a Military family has its challenges. It is nice to come across anything that can help in that journey. Books are a great resource for children in the Military. I was given the book Cooper and Me and the Military by Monique and Alexa Peters to review.

Cooper and Me is a children’s book series was started by a young girl, Alexa Peters (now 13), who has always loved to write stories and draw pictures about her experiences as a means of expressing her feelings. Cooper and Me grew out of Alexa’s gift for storytelling and compassion for other kids. The mission of Cooper and Me is to both entertain young children and help them gain emotional resilience as they navigate the challenges of everyday living.

Alexa Peters (age 13) was inspired to write a story about family friends who were separated by deployment. She wanted to write this book to help kids process their feelings about loved ones being away from home and honor those in service.
Overview:
Meet Trooper, Cooper’s best friend, and learn how he was adopted by Gracie and Joe and their parents, who both serve in the military. Find out how this family stays close despite being separated.
A must-read during patriotic holidays and for anyone with friends and family in the military, this book helps children know, that even when loved ones aren’t with us, they still love us and think about us. This book, along with all the other books in the Cooper and Me series, includes these interactive features:
• A Special Memory Creation
• Life Lesson
• Connections
• Learning Together
In addition to a fun adventure, each Cooper and Me story teaches an important Life Lesson and features interactive materials at the back of the book to drive the message home. Included are activities that help children name and process their own feelings about what they’ve read.
Julie’s thoughts on the book:
As soon as I took the book out of the mailer I knew I was going to love it. The cover is bright and has some pretty cool illustrations on it. The story is interesting and I think a lot of Military children can relate to it. My son said it was “cute” and enjoyed it. I also really liked that at the end of the book there were questions I could ask my son about it. One of them was “Have you ever missed someone? How does that feel?” I thought it was a great way to connect with your children through the book.
I know we plan to check out other books in the Cooper and Me series!
Please visit these sites to learn more about the book:
Twitter: https://twitter.com/#!/cooper_and_me

“Disclosure of Material Connection: I received one or more of the products or services mentioned above for free in the hope that I would mention it on my blog. Regardless, I ONLY recommend products or services I use personally and believe will be good for my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

The Birth Story

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My Birth Story

On Tues, Nov 16th I had a rough day.  I had met Ben for lunch and we walked around the PX a bit.  Oliver North was doing a book signing so I got some pictures of that.  Then I planned to do some shopping after Ben went back to work.  I just wasn’t feeling it.  I felt icky & tired.  I finally made it home just a bit before DW’s bus came home.  I just wanted to lay down.  Later that night after everyone else was asleep I sat in the rocker and tried to watch some of my tv shows.  I started feeling some pains.  Keep in mind that for the past 2 weeks or so I was having some very random contractions that had no pattern to them.  But these seemed to have some sort of rhythm.  It was 12:30 and I wasn’t sure what to do.  I decided that I would try to sleep.  If I could, I could.  If the pain kept me up, well something was happening.

I was able to sleep a little but woke up at about 2:45ish with pain.  This pain was worse and I wasn’t sure I could sleep again.  After about 15 mins of trying I couldn’t.  Ben had been up off and on all night and was having trouble sleeping himself.  So between 3:00-3:30 we watched and debated on what to do.  Finally decided to call my friend to come over to be with the sleeping boys and head to the hospital.

We got there right about 4 am.  They had us wait about 10 minutes in the waiting room and then took me back.  They asked me a ton of questions and I was contracting through all of it.  They had me on the monitors and as I laid there I had to figure out my final decision about the epidural.  It was hard for me.  My other 2 I had totally natural.  I was super committed to that choice then and was able to do it.  I just wasn’t feeling it this time.  In the end, I made the decision to get one.  They checked me and I was at 4.  I had decided if I was less than that I would want to wait on the epidural but it felt like things were moving along.

They had to test my blood and put in an IV, which I just seemed to be okay with.  I went to the delivery room and everything got set up.  As we moved my contractions just kept coming on.  They were getting really painful and really uncomfortable.  I just kept trying to breathe through them while holding on tightly to Ben.  I was so thankful he was there with me.  Just feeling him around me was so nice.

Well by the time we got into the delivery room I want to say it was after 5?  I can’t totally remember.  I contracted a bit and was feeling like I was getting to a pretty painful place.  The lady came in with the epidural and putting it in went better than I thought.  Ben was right there with me the whole time too.  After it went in she told me it would take a few contractions to work.

This is when it got fun.  I had 2 contractions that felt really bad.  Like the end of labor, about to have the baby bad.  Then I felt tons and tons of pressure.  They checked me and the nurse say, “There is no more cervix” and I guess I said, “What?  Where did it go?”  Ben was cracking up.  But I knew I was complete and I knew that pressure was my body saying it was time to push.

The midwife was right there and told me to push once and so I did.  Then told me to do it again and he was out.  I was amazed at how fast it was!  He was born right at 6:11am.  His cord was wrapped around his neck so Ben didn’t get to cut it but that was ok.  I was just glad everything was going so well.

It was so weird as I felt like the last few weeks were dragging on and on.  I was feeling random contractions, so icky and then bam when active labor started, it started and he was born right away.

I really felt at peace with this birth.  I felt like I made the right decisions and that everything worked out ok.  Of course, I am dealing with the Bell’s Palsy which is not ideal but everything else seems to turn out well.  I was pleased with the hospital and how nice everyone was to us.  The only thing was how hard it is to be there, getting used to breastfeeding, finally having the baby sleep and then they come in to check your stats again.

I feel like this pregnancy was the hardest one, yet maybe the “easiest” labor.  It wasn’t easy of course but out of the 3 I felt it was.  I also feel totally content with this as my last baby.  Our family feels complete and it is a great feeling 🙂

And I am loving having THREE boys.  It’s great and it will be even more fun as Joshua gets older I imagine.  It’s like God knew this was the perfect family for me to have 🙂

And I thank God everyday that Ben was here and he is still home with us.  We are still in waiting mode to see when he has to go but I look at every extra day as a great thing.