Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

military kids

When You Feel Like Your Military Children Are Missing Out

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I remember feeling so torn during our first deployment. I didn’t want to do this Military life thing anymore. I didn’t want my kids to be without their dad. I didn’t want there to be so many pages of my scrapbook where dad was missing.

I started wondering if military life was worth the cost. Was it worth it for my kids to miss so much? I started wondering if despite my husband’s desire to serve, that our family needed to come first and that he shouldn’t do this anymore.

When You Feel Like Your Military Children Are Missing Out

That missing a child’s birth wasn’t worth it…

That missing their first day of kindergarten wasn’t worth it…

That leaving our kids with a stressed-out mom simply wasn’t fair…

And now all these years later I am still not sure if military life is fair to my children. It might not be. And that is a huge pill to swallow.

I can think about all the benefits of military life. I can think of all the places we have been, all the people we have met, and everything we have learned over the years.

But that doesn’t change the fact that my husband missed almost all of my son’s first year of life. That he will miss things in the future. That we will never get these years back.

Walking away from military life can seem like the right thing to do. To see that ETS date and end the military journey. To ask your spouse to pick another path.

For some, getting out of the military is the right thing to do…

For others, it isn’t that simple.

For some, serving in the military is something they have to do. That the military is a part of them. That the military is in their blood. Walking away isn’t possible.

And for the military spouse of that service member, things can be so complicated. You can’t help but wonder where you stand. You can’t help but wonder why they are okay with all the loss and heartache this life can bring.

But you also know that serving is a part of who they are, and what they have chosen as a career path. You know deep down they ache having to be away from you too. You know that they miss you like you are missing them.

When You Feel Like Your Military Children Are Missing Out

And when you remember that, when you remember that even though they choose the military, they also chose you, things get a little easier.

And from that, you can get through what comes. You can help your children through military life. You can be there, and be patient, and know that your path is okay.

Your military life may look so different from your own upbringing.

Your military life might be the opposite of what your civilian friends do.

But it’s your military life, for good or for bad.

While you might never be able to answer the question of if military life is fair to your kids, you know your kids will be able to make it through the challenges, with you by their side.

You might never be able to get those years back but the memories you make when you are together are priceless.

You might not ever have a “normal” life because you married a service member, but you are committed to still living a good one, however that looks.

Don’t be afraid to seek out help during this life. I have many different blog posts here at Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life on deployments, pcsing, and military life in general.

I have a Facebook group, filled with other military spouses who understand.

Check out your local communities to see what is available.

Join your FRG, local MOPS group, or find another way to connect with other military spouses that works for you.

Raising children in the military is, of course, going to be challenging, there is no sense in sugar-coating that. You want the best for your children, and when you realize they are missing out, that doesn’t feel like the best.

You might feel guilty about certain parts of this lifestyle, you might wish you could go back and give them something they missed out on, and you might not ever feel 100% about the choice to be a military family.

When You Feel Like Your Military Children Are Missing Out

But in the end, if the love of your life is committed to the military, you can be too. No matter how rocky the road might be.

You can find recourses to help, you can be your children’s steady in a world that doesn’t seem so, and you can take everything one day at a time.

As a mom, you will always do what you can to help your children through life. This doesn’t change just because you are a military family. Every family has challenges, the military life might just be yours.

What are your best tips for raising kids in the military?

Going Through a Deployment With Children

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Happy to have this guest post by Holly on going through a deployment with children. Please email me at Julie@soldierswifecrazylife.com and let me know if you would like to write a guest post for Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life too.

Going Through a Deployment With Children

The orders are cut and the news is official: your spouse is ready for another military deployment. As you’re trying to wrap your brain around the upcoming challenges, those tiny hands tug at your jeans needing another cup of juice. And then you remember, as much as a deployment is hard on you, you’ve got children to think about too.

What do you say? How do you tell them? How do you help them prepare and cope?

Decide on the Best Time

I’m not sure there’s any right answer here, but from my experience, the answer depends on the child’s age. When my son was toddler-aged, we usually didn’t tell him about upcoming deployments; he wouldn’t understand and with no concept of days, weeks, months, we would only be setting him up for anxiousness. Now that my son is 5, he knows that suitcases mean Daddy is leaving and he starts to ask questions.

Now that he’s older, we start talking to him only when my husband starts packing and there are visible changes around our house. We read our military deployment books and my husband schedules a day of fun activities with him before he leaves. 

Going Through a Deployment With Children

We love this book from Usborne Books!

Include Them

What started out as a cute Pinterest idea, turned into a lifesaver for us during deployments. We have a Deployment Wall in my office at home and my son loves to view where Daddy is on the map and talk about what time is it in “daddy’s time.” We have pins marked for home, and then all of the locations my husband has been sent.

We have a clock that marks the time change and then an erasable frame with his address, making it easy to find when we send care packages. My son also loves to send Daddy his artwork from school, so there’s a clipboard where we save it until the next package is sent. 

Going Through a Deployment With Children

Our “Deployment Wall”

Recognize their Feelings

It’s hard to juggle it all, for sure, but it’s important to remember that little people don’t always have the maturity to handle their concerned feelings the same way that we do. When my husband leaves, I’m always sure to let his teachers know that there’s a change at home and to update me with behavior changes. When he was younger, they often commented that he would be more whiny or anxious. 

Now, he usually wants to talk about Daddy and their latest conversations at school. Sometimes it’s hard to recognize their concerns in the pouting and whining, but that may be how they’re expressing their emotions about the deployment.  

With a little bit of patience and a whole lot of love, your family will survive and thrive through the challenges that come with military life. The blessing is that your children grow up knowing the true meaning of sacrifice, honor and patriotism because they see it in their parents every day.

Holly Corcoran is a military wife of 10 years, mom to one adorable and resilient seven-year-old, and third-grade teacher living in the flyover states. She juggles home, parenting, and teaching, while also sometimes taking calls from Afghanistan. Connecting with other military spouses and friends is a constant reminder “we’re always under the same sky.”

The Life of A Military Child

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The Life of A Military Child

April is the month of the military child. The children of those who have chosen to serve their country. The children of those who have given up their normal lives to protect the lives of others. The life of a military child can look very different from the life of a non-military child.

The life of a military child

The life of a military child means a lot of wondering and a lot of waiting. When will daddy be home? When will they be able to talk to mommy again? For the younger child, not knowing when they will see or hear from one of their parents can be confusing.

The life of a military child means having to move too often. Having to start over. Having to say goodbye to friends and not knowing if they will ever see them again. Adults are able to connect with friends through the phone and social media. Kids might not be able to. Once they say goodbye to their friends, they might not ever talk about them again.

The life of a military child can mean disappointment.

Their mom or dad might have to miss that first day of kindergarten, a first communion, or high school graduation. And even if that child understands why their parent has to be away, they still wish they could be there on those special days.

The life of a military child means making memories without both of their parents. There will be times when they go see Grandma, or go camping, or even to Disneyland and mom or dad won’t be able to join them. That through the fun they are having, they are missing a big part of their family. And that isn’t always easy to do.

The life of a military child means being so very proud of what their mom or dad does for a living. It is beaming with pride when they see the flag. It means reading about what the military has done in the past and realizing that their parent is apart of what the military is doing in the future.

The Life of A Military Child

The life of a military child means going to five different schools all before 2nd grade.

It means not being sure about the rules at this school compared to the one they just moved from. It means having to be the new girl or the new boy, more than once.

The life of a military child means meeting people from all over the country and the world. It means making memories with these people, ones that will last forever. It means going off into the world and being able to share the stories of play dates in Germany, and first dates in Japan.

The life of a military child means growing up, watching one of your parents work hard to make life full for them and their siblings, even when it was hard to do so. It means, having patience and knowing that their parents did what they could to make this military life a little bit easier.

The Life of A Military Child

The life of a military child means learning how to be resilient through the challenges military life brings.

It means learning patience at an early age and figuring out how to make the best of a sad situation. To go with the flow, even when that is not what they want to be doing. To realize that there is so much more to this world and that giving back is such a good thing to do.

The life of a military child means saying goodbye, and saying hello again, with bright smiles on their face. It means feeling so excited that Dad is coming home that they can’t even sleep the night before and that this homecoming will feel better than Christmas.

The life of a military child means that in the future, they will know how to handle military life if they choose to join themselves. It means following in their parent’s footsteps who might have followed in their own parent’s footsteps too. It means understanding what you have to give up when you join the military and signing up anyway.

The life of a military child means that in the future when meeting new people, and the person they eventually marry, that they know what saying yes to a military service member will mean. It means knowing what a PCS is, or what it means to shop at the Commissary.

The Life of A Military Child

The life of a military child means that other children might not understand what their life is like.

It’s sharing with their civilian friends about their journey and what their childhood was like. It’s reaching out to others and showing them compassion when they are going through a difficult time since they have been through so many themselves.

The life of a military child is filled with the good and the bad. The hello, the goodbye. It means always learning, always meeting new people, always having to adjust.

The life of a military child means sleepless nights, so many tears, and wondering what will happen next. It also means knowing that they are apart of history and that what their parent do matters, oh it matters so very much.

The life of a military child should be celebrated as we do every April.

As military spouses, we are raising our own military children to the best of our abilities. We know that many parts of this military life are not easy for them, just like they are not easy for us. Yet, we do what we can to make sure they feel loved and can find the extra help they might need to get through.

We help them stay busy, we make plans, we take them on trips. We listen when they share how badly they miss their mom or dad. We hug them and let them know that we miss them too. Even if we are not sure that our words will help, we pray that they do.

How many military children are you raising? How old are they???

 

16 Ways You Know You Are Raising Children In A Military Family

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16 Ways You Know You Are Raising Children In A Military Family

I had exactly 13 months of raising children before we became a military family. When my husband joined the military in 2005, our oldest son was only a little over a year. All the parenting I have done after that has been within military life and culture, at least to some extent.

16 Ways You Know You Are Raising Children In A Military Family

April is the month of the military child, here are 16 ways to know that you are raising children in a military family:

1. None of your children were born in the same place!

One in California, one in Tennessee, one in Germany, what’s so weird about that?

2. You have photos of your children in actual castles, one that is right down the street.

You still can’t get over that you used to live in a house down the street from a castle. Thank you overseas orders.

3. You have a kid-size pair of ACUs somewhere in your home.

You bought them when your husband first joined, and now all your kids have worn them for Halloween.

4. You can’t totally remember if your senior in high school started kindergarten when you were stationed at Fort Riley or if that happened after you moved to Fort Campbell.

Your memory is a little fuzzy back then, and it could have been either place really.

5. They are the cousins that family back home doesn’t quite know as well as the ones that live right there.

Sadly, this can happen because you just can’t seem to get orders for anywhere close to home.

6. Spending time with extended family is always so special because it doesn’t get to happen as often as you would like.

Yes, yes it is.

16 Ways You Know You Are Raising Children In A Military Family

7. Turning 10 is an exciting day, your kids get their very own ID.

And make sure to always have it with you, in case you need it.

8. Your kids know what it is like to be the new boy or girl in class.

Being the new kid is never easy, but in some cases, they are not the only one living in a military town.

9. They also know what it is like to spend a few years in England and then spend a few years in Hawaii.

Or maybe it is more like a few years in Texas and then a few in Alaska. Military kids get to live in different places, and that can make for a pretty fantastic childhood.

10. Your children know what it means when mom gets a little teary and there seem to be more military bags around the house.

Children figure it out, and they know the signs of an upcoming deployment.

11. You have had to reassure a child that they will see their Dad soon, even though you know soon is in four months.

And part of your worries that they might never come back, but you never share that worry with your kids.

12. You have cursed out a bad internet connection because it is your son’s birthday and they wanted to share it with mom across the miles.

That is the worst; kids don’t always understand that it is the connection that is the problem, and not that their mom or dad doesn’t want to talk with them.

13. You have so many Daddy Dolls around the house that they could start their own preschool.

You get them before every deployment, and even sometimes in between.

16 Ways You Know You Are Raising Children In A Military Family

14. Your children use pencils to do homework with USAA, NavyFed, and MWR on them.

You also get these free at every event or fair you have been to in the last five years. But hey, you never run out of these important homework tools.

15. You had at least one of your children during a deployment and thought you were pretty amazing for doing that without your spouse by your side.

Giving birth without your spouse isn’t easy, but we military spouses know doing so could be apart of the deal.

16. You know this life is difficult sometimes, but you also know there are so many amazing things that your kids will get to experience because of raising kids in a military family.

Some days, being a military family can be so hard, but that doesn’t mean military life is without its benefits. Serving your country means being apart of something important. And when you look back in the years to come, you will see how much your family has gained from being apart of the military community.

Keeping Military Kids Busy With Hands On Educational Learning + A Giveaway

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Keeping Military Kids Busy With Hands On Educational Learning

This is a sponsored post by Nakturnal

So you spouse just deployed, now what to do with these kids? When you are suddenly both mom and dad, you have to figure out how you will get through. You will have to figure out how to stay busy so that the deployment will be easier for you and your kids.

There are so many ways to keep kids busy, both inside and outside of your home. From taking them to the park to signing them up for sports and other activities. Make plans and fill up your calendar. Look and see what is available in your local area.

Keeping kids busy during a deployment is going to keep your sane, wear them out so they sleep better at night, and help them make friends and memories along the way. When you can find fun things for your child to do, both of you will have a better deployment experience.

Activities for children

One option would be to sign them up for a Snapology class. 

What’s Snapology?

Snapology is an interactive STEM/STEAM program for kids. They feature technology and popular building toys such as LEGO Bricks and K’nex. This makes for a fun class that focuses on building and creating.

Where are Snapology classes?

You can check out the Snapology website to find where your closest Snapology franchise would be on their website. For those of us at Fort Campbell, that would be in North Nashville but Snapology is also looking for someone to open another Snapology in Nashville.

What does it take to open a Snapology franchise?

You will be able to be your own boss with over 40 different program topics and themes. You can offer field trips, birthday parties, workshops, scouting events, and more for kids ages 1-14. Fill out the form on the website to find out more information about opening your own franchise.

Activities for children

Now for the giveaway, would you like to win a Mascot Alligator Lego set?

Alligator Lego Set

Pretty cute, huh?

Enter the Rafflecopter below 🙂

Make sure you do leave a comment answering the question, What is your favorite thing to do with your kids?  

US addresses only. 

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Sometimes staying busy with your kids means being creative and a Snapology class can be an excellent way to do so. Take some time to check them out and see what they have to offer. Finding the right creative and educational class for your child can be one of the best things you can do and opening your own franchise can be a good way to earn money and do so by helping children.

Make sure to share this Snapology opportunity with your friends 🙂

12 Memes About Military Kids

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12 Memes About Military Kids 12 Memes About Military Kids

April is the month of the military child. These boys and girls live a different type of life but they are resilient and can benefit from military life too. Here are 12 means about parenting and military children.

 

Military children

It’s hard to plan when you don’t know where you will be living in a few years.

 

Military children

Yep, sometimes with these kids, cereal is the best thing to serve for dinner.

 

Military children

This really is one of the hardest parts. You need to be there to comfort your child when they are missing their mom or dad so badly. At the same time, you are hurting too.

 

Military children

Yes! Love those Daddy Dolls!

Military children

Now wouldn’t that solve so many problems?

Military children

The new school year at a new school can be pretty scary.
Be there for your child as they start and go through the process of making friends again.

 

Military children

A week isn’t too long for the military child that is used to having to wait a lot longer.

 

Military children

Yep! Each of my kids was born in a different place!

 

Military children

Seriously! When you have to go months and months without family time, you know how special it really is.

 

Military children

Yep! Such is the life of the military brat.

 

 

Military children

Yep, even grosser than a dirty diaper.

 

Military Children

And when Mom or Dad gets home from the deployment, the kids will get their parent back and there will be nothing but smiles. Seeing them together after so much time apart is a wonderful feeling.

As you make your way through this military life, your kids will be there right alongside you. Be there for them and help them through any struggle that they have. Keep them busy when your spouse is away and make memories together even if someone is missing. They will enjoy talking about what fun they had with your deployed spouse. Remind them that they serve too and they are blessed to be the children of those who have signed up to serve their country.

Chameleon Kids and The Military Kids’ Life Magazine

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Military Kids' Life Cover Issue 2

 

Have you heard of Chameleon Kids? It’s mission is to inspire kids in Military families. They have a wonderful magazine called, Military Kids’ Life that was launched in April 2015 and I was able to review a copy! This magazine an exciting mix of articles based on a quarterly theme to help kids find the adventure in their military lives.

logo_w_digicam

The target age is 6 to 14-year-old boys and girls in military families (Air Force, Army, Coast Guard, Marines, Navy, Active, Reserve, National Guard.) The magazine will come out quarterly and will cost $12.95 for an annual subscription and$3.95 single copy.

magazines for Military kids

I really enjoyed looking through this magazine. The articles were great. I especially loved the ones from the kids about living overseas. Those would be ideal for a child getting ready to move to a new location. There are also articles with recipes, about pets and other topics that would be of interest to Military children.

The magazine is filled with beautiful photos to go with the stories. It also feels like the price is worth the cost. There is enough in it to make it worth buying and not feel like you are paying too much for just a couple of pages.

Although it is geared for older kids, it is great for us moms and dads too. We can even share some of the stories with our younger children.

Chameleon Kids

Here are some links for more information:

Purchase a subscription for your military kids: www.thechameleonkids.com/magazine

Follow us on Facebook for more ways to encourage the bright side of military life: www.facebook.com/thechameleonkids

* I was provided a free copy of the magazine for review! 

My Daddy is a Soldier Book Review

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books for military kids

I love it when Military spouses write books. They can bring reality to the subject they are writing about and have a good point of view on the subject.

I was given the chance to review the book, My Daddy is a Soldier. Written and Illustrated by Brittany Mayfield.

The book is written from the point of view of a child talking about their father who is a soldier. It talks about what he can do because he is one. The illustrations show a multicultural mix of soldiers which is nice to see.

books for military kids

This book is perfect for the Military child. Either those first learning to read or to be read to by a parent or older sibling.

The book is available in paperback on Amazon 🙂

 

 

* I was provided a free copy of the book for review!