Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

Military Life

13 Memes About Military Spouse Friendship

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13 Memes About Military Spouse Friendship

13 Memes About Military Spouse Friendship

There is something about a military spouse friendship. We can be there for one another through all of our military challenges. From deployments to pcsing, friends will make this life easier.

Sometimes finding friends can take a long time, sometimes it happens right away. Here are some memes all about military spouse friendship. Enjoy!

Military friendships

I don’t like to say goodbye, I like to say see you later. It’s an easier thing to say. 

Military friendships

I love how we can meet and connect with others from all over the world during our time as a military spouse! 

Military friendships

One thing is clear, you will always have your memories.
Even if you don’t see your friends for a while, you always have the moments you spent together. 

Military friendships

Our friends will probably be from all over but that’s the best part. We can learn from one another’s experiences and share our own. 

Military friendships

Yes! We always need people we can be free to vent to about the deployment. We know we would do the same for them. 

Military friendships

Sometimes when you or your friend move, you will never live near each other again. But good friends, you stay together, even if you are no longer in the same time zone. 

Military friendships

Finding a good friend can change everything!

Military friendships

#4, calling a good friend can be a great thing to do during a bad deployment day!

Military friendships

That would be the best! Your spent 2008-2011 together in Italy and now you will spend 2017-2019 together in California. Thank you Military!

Military friendships

Keep putting yourself out there. You will eventually meet some good people to connect with. 

Military friendships

Being kind is a must. It makes you a good friend. 

Military friendships

This couldn’t be truer; friends are lucky to have. 

Military friendships

Sometimes it is hard to put yourself out there. Keep doing so. You never know who you might meet.

Here are some posts on friendship as a military spouse…

 What To Do When You Can’t Make Friends At Your New Duty Station!

10 Of The Best Places To Make Friends When You Are A Military Spouse

Finding Your Military Spouse Tribe

17 Quotes For This Fourth Of July

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17 Quotes For This Fourth Of July

It’s the 4th of July! A time to celebrate America’s freedom. A time for family and friends and BBQs and fireworks. This mid-summer celebration of our country’s birthday also can have a lot of emotion to it.

During the 4th of July, we think about our freedoms, where our country has been, and what to look towards in the future.

17 Quotes For This Fourth Of July

Here are 17 quotes all about the 4th of July and freedom:

“Great difficulties may be surmounted by patience and perseverance.”- Abigail Adams

“With freedom, books, flowers, and the moon, who could not be happy?” – Oscar Wilde

“Where liberty dwells, there is my country.” – Benjamin Franklin

“Freedom is not won on the battlefields. The chance for freedom is won there. The final battle is won or lost in our hearts and minds.” –Helen Gahagan Douglas

17 Quotes For This Fourth Of July

“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams”- Eleanor Roosevelt

“Then join hand in hand, brave Americans all! By uniting we stand, by dividing we fall.” – John Dickinson

“Freedom is the open window through which pours the sunlight of the human spirit and human dignity.” – Herbert Hoover

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.” – Declaration of Independence

17 Quotes For This Fourth Of July

“Our glorious diversity — our diversities of faiths and colors and creeds — that is not a threat to who we are, it makes us who we are,” –Michelle Obama

“This nation will remain the land of the free only so long as it is the home of the brave.”- Elmer Davis

“And I’m proud to be an American, where at least I know I’m free. And I won’t forget the men who died, who gave that right to me.” – Lee Greenwood

“Freedom has its life in the hearts, the actions, the spirit of men and so it must be daily earned and refreshed — else like a flower cut from its life-giving roots, it will wither and die.” – Dwight D. Eisenhower

17 Quotes For This Fourth Of July

“In the truest sense, freedom cannot be bestowed; it must be achieved.”– Franklin D. Roosevelt

“This, then, is the state of the union: free and restless, growing and full of hope. So it was in the beginning. So it shall always be, while God is willing, and we are strong enough to keep the faith.” – Lyndon B. Johnson

“Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.” – Abraham Lincoln

“America was not built on fear. America was built on courage, on imagination and an unbeatable determination to do the job at hand.”- Harry S. Truman

“It is the love of country that has lighted and that keeps glowing the holy fire of patriotism.” – J. Horace McFarland

To the Military Spouse That Can’t Do Military Life Anymore

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To the Military Spouse That Can't Do Military Life Anymore

He was gone again. I couldn’t believe it. I had just dropped my husband off for his 4th deployment. Another deployment, but this time, I wasn’t sure how I was going to get through.

Sure, I had done this before. And really, this deployment was only supposed to be six months long, that is less than half of how long some of our deployments had been. Why was I falling apart this time?

I took my then 8, 6 and 2-year-old boys home after saying goodbye. I got them interested in something and then sat on my bed. How was I going to do this? How was I going to get through?

That deployment broke me. Even before it started. My anxiety went through the roof. I wasn’t sure how we would get from where I was at the moment to homecoming. 

I ended up getting some extra help, which was needed. I was able to take that deployment one day at a time. And then, right before Christmas, my husband came home, and the deployment was over.

But I will never forget those six months. I will never forget how hard some of the nights were. I will never forget how broken I felt.

During that deployment, I started to feel like I was not strong enough to be a military spouse. I would look at my friends and other spouses, and I saw strength. A strength I didn’t think I had.

At times I wanted to tell my husband that I was sorry, that I couldn’t do it anymore. That we had given up too much and that I was done. 

I was done with deployments, I was done being the only parent in the house when my kids needed two, I was done with goodbyes, I was done with the hurt, I was done with the pain of being away from my husband.

I hit a wall, and I didn’t want to do military life anymore. I felt like I didn’t have it in me. I felt like everything was too much.

So to the military spouse who can’t do military life anymore, I get it. I have been there, and this is what I can tell you.

Some parts of military life as so frustratingly hard that it will feel like you can’t make it through, but you can.

There will be days you will have to ask for help, even if you don’t want to. The help might be asking a friend to watch your kids so you can get your grocery shopping done. The help might be asking your doctor if you should start to see a counselor. The help might be asking your MOPS friends to pray extra hard for you as you are going through something tough at the moment.

Some parts of military life as exciting. That post-deployment block leave where you get to spend weeks together? I love it. Moving to Hawaii or Germany, or even back to your hometown? Exciting. Making a new friend when you walk into an FRG meeting, a friend who will always now be a part of your life, that’s the best.

There will be times during your life as a military spouse that you will want to throw in the towel. That you will spend hours online looking at houses in your hometown because there is no way your husband can continue to do this. You will think that once that ETS day comes, everything will be better.

But then you watch your spouse see how much he loves being a soldier.

How that it is in his blood. How his dream of joining the military has come true. That finally, after five years of marriage, she has found a career she loves, and you know you have to stand by her.

You see, not everyone is in the military for 20+ years. For some, military life is merely a season. For others, it is a lifetime commitment. You and your spouse will need to talk about what the plan is. You will need to share your worries and struggles.

But military spouse, know this, if the person you married feels they need to be in the military, you will be able to handle whatever comes your way.

I know it might not always seem like it. I know that some days will be a lot harder than others. But trust me, you will be able to do what you need to do.

We get frustrated when people tell us “I could never do it” when it comes to military life, but the truth is, we do it because we love and support our spouse. We do it because we love our country and want the best for it.

We do it because we know that we are meant to be with this person, and this person is meant to be in the military. 

So to the military spouse who can’t do military life anymore, know that you genuinely can. Maybe for you, military life will be over in a few years. Maybe military life will be over when you are in your 50s. Either way, you can do this.

Take this military life one day at a time, one hour if you need to. Look for military spouse support, at your duty station, through your friends, and online. Find a way to make it through because you have to, because you want to, because it is how you will figure out how to make being a military spouse work.

Have you ever felt like you couldn’t do military life anymore? What did you do to break out of feeling that way? 

A Military Dad

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He wakes up early, leaving his sleeping children. He has to get to work.

He puts on his uniform and stares at the calendar, they were running out of days.

He knows he has to go, he knows this is his duty, but saying goodbye to those kids isn’t going to be easy.

He packs his bag and sees his wife crying. He wishes this wasn’t going to be so hard for her. He never thought she would have to go through so many parenting seasons alone.

He promises to write. He promises to call. He hopes he won’t be forgotten.

And then it is time to say goodbye…

A Military Dad

He hugs those boys and knows how much they will grow when he is gone. He tries not to think about that, but it is right there in his mind. Being away for so many months at a time is a part of this life that makes everything so hard.

He has a sense of duty to his country. To go. To fight. To make a difference.

He has a sense of duty to his family. To his wife. To his kids.

And sometimes, he can’t do both at the same time. Sometimes he has to go away, and do his job, and try to be there for his family across the miles.

And other times he does get to be home. To make memories. To be able to be a dad in person, not just on a screen.

He wonders if his kids will remember this. He wonders if they will hate him for leaving because they don’t understand. He wonders if things will be weird when he gets back home.

And after months away, he struggles. He loves his kids but he doesn’t know them like he would if he never went away. He loves his family but being so far from home is so hard.

He focuses on the job, on the mission, on his duty. He tries not to dwell on what he is missing but on what he is helping to protect. He tries every day to be the best soldier he can knowing he also needs to be the best father he can be at the same time.

And time goes by…he misses those kids. He misses so much. The first steps, the first words, the first moments. He hopes he doesn’t miss much more, but with years left serving in the military, he knows he might.

And then it is time to go home. To get out of this place, and be back where he belongs. With his wife, and his kids. But he worries.

Has he been gone too long? Will his three-year-old remember the trips to the park before he left? Will the one-year-old bond with him as his brother did? Will his wife be okay after so many months of solo parenting?

And the plane lands and the deployment is over. He sees them, right away. She is wearing a blue dress, and the boys match one another. His oldest is holding a sign. He can’t wait for the moment he can hug and kiss all of them.

But they have to wait and he has to stay stoic. He sees his family but he can’t crack a smile. Not yet.

Then it is time, they are free to go and he runs to her and the boys. And they hug and kiss and all feels right in the world. Those boys, those kids, they have missed him so much but he is back.

And they drive home together and everything is different at home. And yet, nothing is different. This is his family and they still love him so much. As the days pass, there might be struggles, but he is home, where his heart is.

He isn’t used to the new bedtime. He isn’t used to a toddler. He isn’t used to this new normal. But they will work through everything.

And this soldier, he may have to deploy again, and there might be more times apart. But no matter where he goes or how far away he might be, these are his kids and they will always love him.

When You Can’t Talk With Your Spouse

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When You Can't Talk With Your Spouse

When You Can’t Talk With Your Spouse

30 days. 30 long days. That was the longest my husband and I have gone without talking during a deployment. No emails. No calls. No Facetime. I knew he was okay. I knew this because “no news is good news” and I just had to believe it.

Although that was the longest we had to go, thank goodness it was not the norm. The norm was every 3-4 days. Thinking about that now seems a little strange but that was our reality at one time.

During deployments and other training, it might not be possible to talk with your spouse.

You might have to go a few days, a few weeks, and in some cases a few months without speaking. This can be frustrating for the spouse at home because we really have no control over this. There can be many different reasons why you can’t speak with your spouse regularly. From them not being allowed to talk to you or having a spouse that isn’t as communicative as he should be.

I have heard people complain that their spouse calls them too much and I can see that too. If you are talking too much it can be hard to live your life.

In my perfect world, my husband would call me every three days and we would talk for one whole hour on a perfect phone connection.

Unfortunately,  that didn’t happen too often.  Sometimes when he called I could barely understand him because the connection is bad. Other times he was only able to talk for five minutes. The feeling I got when I picked up the phone and hear my husband say, “Hey, it’s me” was so wonderful.  Time stops and everything is right again. At least for the moment.

I also try to remember that a deployment is just made up of days. As each day passes we get closer to homecoming. Once homecoming happens, I can talk to him pretty much whenever I want to again. Deployments are just a short period of time we have to go through where we can’t be with each other and communicate like a normal married couple. This won’t last forever.

When I really needed him and couldn’t talk with him, I would get upset. One of the hardest things for me was not being able to have access to him when I really need to talk.

Married couples are supposed to be able to talk to each other on a regular basis. Sometimes deployments make that hard to do.

One thing I did that helped the situation was to write him letters. Even if I didn’t send them. Even if he wasn’t going to read them for a while. I wrote them. I found this so helpful. I was able to tell him about our day, what the boys were doing, and anything that was on my mind.

Because of communication issues during our first deployment, I had to make a lot of decisions by myself. I had to decide what to do about my son and his speech issues. I had to make decisions about childcare and what to do each day with the kids. I got into the habit of making all these decisions myself. I had to. I couldn’t wait for him to make the decisions while he was in Iraq.

That lack of communication hurts. Not being able to get input on something important is difficult. You have to do the best you can. You have to figure out what will work and how you two can work through anything that might come up while he is away.

Do you have trouble communicating during deployments? How do you get through times when you just can’t talk to your loved one?

What Memorial Day is All About

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What Memorial Day is All About

What Memorial Day is All About

 

Memorial Day
Photo credit: US Department of Defense

“A hero is someone who has given his of her life to something bigger than oneself.” — Joseph Campbell 

Memorial Day
Photo credit: US Department of Defense

“These fallen heroes represent the character of a nation who has a long history of patriotism and honor – and a nation who has fought many battles to keep our country free from threats of terror.” — Michael N. Castle 

Memorial Day

Photo credit: US Department of Defense

“The willingness of America’s veterans to sacrifice for our country has earned them our lasting gratitude.” — Jeff Miller

Memorial Day
Photo credit: US Department of Defense

“Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe to assure the survival and the success of liberty.” — John F. Kennedy

Memorial Day

Photo credit: US Department of Defense

“Each of the patriots whom we remember on this day was first a beloved son or daughter, a brother or sister, or a spouse, friend, and neighbor.” — George H. W. Bush

Memorial Day

Photo credit: US Department of Defense

“It was the transcendent fortitude and steadfastness of these men who in adversity and in suffering through the darkest hour of our history held faithful to an ideal. Here men endured that a nation might live.” — Herbert Hoover

Memorial Day

Photo credit: US Department of Defense

“Our nation owes a debt to its fallen heroes that we can never fully repay, but we can honor their sacrifice.” — Barack Obama

Memorial Day
Photo credit: US Department of Defense

“Our debt to the heroic men and valiant women in the service of our country can never be repaid. They have earned our undying gratitude. America will never forget their sacrifices.” — Harry S. Truman

Memorial Day
 

“Looking across this field, we see the scale of heroism and sacrifice. All who are buried here understood their duty. All stood to protect America. And all carried with them memories of a family that they hoped to keep safe by their sacrifice.” — George W. Bush

 
May we always remember those who have given up everything in order for the rest of us to stay free…

To Love a Soldier

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To Love a Soldier

To Love a Soldier

To love a soldier means to stand by him or her as they put on the uniform and commit to serving our country.

To love a soldier means wiping the tears away and promising to love them no matter how many miles away they must go.

To love a soldier means not understanding why things take so long or why things change so much.

To love a soldier means finding others that love soldiers and making friendships that last a lifetime.

To love a soldier means loving a man or woman in uniform, wherever their career might take them.

To love a soldier means temporarily fulfilling the role of both mom and dad and being the default parent that your children know will always be with them.

To Love a Soldier

To love a soldier means having to explain to your child why their daddy had to miss another birthday.

To love a soldier means being a part of history as a spouse that stood by while their loved one fought for freedom.

To love a soldier means we have something in common with others that have loved their service member through our country’s wars as well as peacetime.

To love a soldier means that we grow stronger as the years go by because we have dealt with realities others have not.

To love a soldier puts the words from our wedding, “in sickness and in health” front and center as we try to understand and help those coming home from war.

To love a soldier means being a military spouse, supporting our spouse and being part of an incredible group of men and women who are doing the same.

I love my soldier and the life we have created together. Through living overseas, multiple deployments and the twists and turns that this military journey has given us.

Whether you love a soldier or a service member of another branch, you know what this life is like. You know how hard this life can be, but you stand by them because you love them and that is the basis for getting through anything military life throws at you.

How long have you been a military spouse?

15 Quotes to Get You Through Difficult Times

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15 Quotes to Get You Through Difficult Times

Deployments, PCSing, missing friends, missing loved ones, feeling homesick, and dealing with the day to day life can be a bit much some times. We are all only human after all. I love that reading other people’s words can help us through difficult times, at least in some small way.

Wise words from others who have been through difficult times. Wise words from others who get it. Wise words that we can take with us in the future, through other difficult times.

Here are 15 of them that might just help you through whatever it is you are dealing with, whether it is trying to homeschool your children when you never signed up for that, or waiting for an extended deployment to be over.

“In times of great stress or adversity, it’s always best to keep busy, to plow your anger and your energy into something positive.” – Lee Iacocca

“All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” – J.R.R. Tolkien, ‘The Fellowship of the Ring’

“I learned there are troubles of more than one kind. Some come from ahead, others come from behind. But I’ve bought a big bat. I’m all ready, you see. Now my troubles are going to have trouble with me.” – Dr. Seuss

“Promise me you’ll always remember: You’re braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” – Christopher Robin to Pooh, A.A. Milne

“Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.”- Dale Carnegie

“And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.”- Haruki Murakami

“Every adversity, every failure and every heartache carries with it the seed of an equivalent or a greater benefit.” – Napoleon Hill

“Nobody trips over mountains. It is the small pebble that causes you to stumble. Pass all the pebbles in your path, and you will find you have crossed the mountain.” – Author Unknown

“Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass, it’s about learning how to dance in the rain.”- Vivian Greene

“If you can’t fly then run, if you can’t run then walk, if you can’t walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.

“We are all dealing with a challenge of some kind. Some of us are just better at hiding it than others.”- Karen Salmansohn

“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I’ll try again tomorrow.” – Mary Anne Radmacher

“Be strong and courageous; do not be frightened or dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” – Joshua 1:9 

“When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it.” – Henry Ford

“We may encounter many defeats but we must not be defeated.” – Maya Angelou

What are your favorite quotes for going through difficult times???