Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

Military Life

What to Remember if Your Spouse Has To Deploy To A Dangerous Place

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What to Remember if Your Spouse Has To Deploy To A Dangerous Place

There have been times when my own husband has had to deploy to a dangerous place. When I heard where he had to go, my heart skipped a beat. How could I handle this? How could I get through? What if he didn’t make it back to us?

For thousands of years, military spouses have had to stand strong as their loved ones went off to war. To wars, they might not even understand. To wars that didn’t always make the most sense. To wars that seem so scary and unpredictable.

How do you deal with a spouse that has to deploy to an active war zone? How do you handle the fact that they are not going to a “safe” place but a more dangerous one? How do you make peace with your spouse going to war?

Here are five things to remember if your spouse has to deploy to a dangerous place:

This is what they are trained for

When you watch as your service member is packing up their bags, remember, this is exactly what they are trained for. That month they spent away from you this summer? This is what they were working on. As a soldier’s wife, I had to accept this, and doing so isn’t easy but once you do, life will become a little bit easier.

War is messy. War is difficult. We have no idea what to expect. We have no clue what is ahead. But we do know that our spouses are in an amazing military and when they have to go, they have to go. And in the end, we know, they are making our world a better place. They are not going into these situations uninformed, they are doing so trained and ready.

You are not alone

You are not the only military spouse having to send their loved one to a dangerous place. You are not. There are so many others in your shoes too. And many who have done this over and over.

You are not the only girlfriend who is crying in their pillow because they know the person they want to spend their life with has to spend six months overseas before that wedding day comes. You are not the only wife who will be scared that their husband might not make it home in time to see their daughter being born. You are not the only one scared of what could happen during the deployment.

There are so many others out there that have a spouse with a dangerous job. They understand how you feel. They know how hard saying goodbye can be. They have been there, and they are willing to help you as you work through your own feelings about your current situation.

Us military spouses are a community. We can support one another, help each other out, and be there when things get scary. We need to depend on one another because fellow military spouses are the ones who know what sending a spouse off to a dangerous place is like.

You can handle this

You can get through this. I don’t care where your spouse has to go, or how long they will be gone. You can get through this. I know it seems challenging and like your world is crashing in. I know when you see how many days they will be gone the deployment seems like forever, but you can handle this. Even if you have to do so one day at a time.

Look through my deployment blog posts, join my Facebook group, do a search for deployment posts on Facebook, and make plans with other military spouse friends. You got this!

This deployment won’t last forever

At the end of the day, when you do say goodbye, whether you had two months to plan or two days, know that the deployment will not last forever. Deployments are temporary. I know when my Grandpa left for WWII, he didn’t know how long he would be away. In the end, he was gone for three years.

These days are easier than that. These days you will get an end date. Even if that date changes, which it probably will, the deployment will eventually end. Remember that during your more difficult days. Remember, this too shall pass.

When your spouse has to deploy, you figure out your new normal. You figure out ways to get through, no matter how long they will be away. The deployment becomes your new normal, but they do eventually end.

The numbers are on your side

No matter where your spouse has to go, in today’s world, most service members come home. They do. While not everyone does, and that breaks our hearts, the odds are your spouse will return to you.

This is something I took a lot of comfort in. I told myself that most likely, my husband would be home with us again soon. That he would make it back. Wars didn’t always use to be this way, for some of them, the odds of coming home were pretty slim, but these days things are a bit different.

As a military spouse, you know that going to war is a part of the deal. That doesn’t mean saying goodbye will be easy or you won’t worry too much. That doesn’t mean that you won’t encounter unexpected challenges or worry you won’t be able to get through them.

As a military spouse, you wake up every morning and work to figure out how you will get through the difficulties that a deployment or future deployment will bring. You will find a way that works for you. You will figure out how to handle knowing where your spouse has to go. While you might never be able to be 100% okay with what they have to do, you will figure out how to support them and make it through your deployment.

How you do deal with your spouse having to go to a dangerous place? 

Join my email list and receive a free Guide for your first 30 days of deployment! 

The 5 Best Things That Can Happen To A Military Spouse

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The 5 Best Things That Can Happen To A Military Spouse

“You take the good you take the bad you take them both and there you have…Military life?” Totally! You see as hard as military life can be sometimes, as stressful as this life can be, there are good things that can happen. Great and wonderful things worth talking about. Here is my list of the 5 best things that can happen to a military spouse.

Getting Stationed Where You Want

There is nothing better than getting the notice that you get to PCS where you want to go. Whether that is a beloved overseas location or just being able to live an hour from home. You feel like you won the jackpot. So many times in your spouse’s career you won’t get what you want but when you do it is a good feeling.

So if you do get those orders, throw a party and start researching your new home. Don’t feel guilty and enjoy this. You never know where else the military will send you and this might be the one time you get to be excited about it.

Deployment Gets Cancelled

This hasn’t ever happened to us. It might be a unicorn but deployments will get moved around and sometimes they might even get cancelled. Or your find out your spouse doesn’t have to go. If you are in pre-deployment mode and are trying to come to terms with having to say goodbye, a cancelled deployment will make your day.

You will want to shout from the rooftops and celebrate the fact that things can be magical, even in military life. And if you are one of those spouses that has been waiting for years for your husband to deploy, consider yourselves lucky.

Amazing Housing

For the first two years we were in Germany we were in a two bedroom stairwell apartment. It was a nice little home but we outgrew the space quickly. We moved to another post in Germany and were given a four bedroom duplex. I remember when we first got there and I walked through the house, I cried.

The house was lovely and so spacious compared to what we had before. We had our own laundry room and two yards. It was amazing. If you have ever been in not so great military housing you know how awesome it can be when you love your new housing. Loving your home you really didn’t have much of a say in is a great feeling.

Making Best Friends

When you go through a deployment with someone or spend a lot of time with them trying to navigate the waters of military life, you become close. Closer than you would otherwise. You will make some of your best friends during your time as a military spouse.

They might move away, you might move away, but you will always have your memories of the time you spent together. You will always have a friend to visit or to call when you are having a bad day. Whenever I ask myself if it was a good idea for my husband to join the military, I think about the people I have met during this life and know I would not be the same without them.

Finding Purpose in The Military Spouse Community

Whether you are a big part of the FRG, whether you found a great career on post or whether you are the neighborhood planner, finding purpose in the military community is a great feeling. Knowing that you are able to give back and help people is such a good thing.

How you find that purpose will look a little different for everyone but that doesn’t mean you can’t find it. You might feel lost when you first move to a new duty station but as time goes on you will figure it out. And once you have figured it out, it is one of the best feelings in the world.

What amazing things have happened to you during your time as a military spouse?

You Know You’re a Modern Military Spouse When….

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Military spouses have been around for a very long time. While to a certain extent “if the military wanted you to have a wife, they would have issued you one” is true, we have come a long way in what we have available to us as military spouses.

My grandma said goodbye to my grandpa for three whole years. The only way they could communicate was through letters. Think about that! They had to number them, so they knew what order they were written in. I love a good handwritten letter, but I can’t imagine that being the only way I could talk with my spouse, for years at a time.

So us military spouses today, I suppose you could call us modern. The millennial military spouse might work except some of us are a little too old for that title 😉 There is something different about this time period, and being a military spouse will look different in the future I am sure.

You Know You Are A Modern Military Spouse When...

So here how you know you are a modern military spouse…

~ You gave birth with your husband by your side, on your iPad, over video chat.

~ You make easy dinners with your Instant Pot or Air Fryer.

~ You met your husband online, while he was at his first duty station.

~ Your wife serves, and you stay home with the kids.

~ You don’t have to take all four of your children shopping by yourself as you are a big fan of having your groceries delivered.

~ You take your kids to the park so that you can get yourself a Starbucks, which is right next door.

~ You can take a call from your husband overseas from wherever you happen to be at the moment, no waiting at home until they call.

~ Netflix binge-watching is your favorite sport.

~ You take 1,000 photos whenever you do something fun, and your parents in California see them minutes later.

~ It’s been two days since you talked to your spouse and can’t believe it has been that long!

~ You learned about your future duty station, from a group of strangers you never met in a Facebook group.

~ You earned your BA in English while your spouse was in South Korea, all from the comfort of your home.

You Know You Are A Modern Military Spouse When...

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~ You love or even hate your FRG, but you do in fact have one.

~ You serve too, as you and your spouse met during basic training and now you are a dual military couple.

~ You have been guilty of oversharing on social media, but at least you are aware of the rules for OPSEC.

~ Amazon Prime is your favorite Transformer.

~ You depend on the friendships of others you have never met because they get exactly what a deployment is all about.

~ You have never met your boss in person. You live in Ohio, and they are in New York.

~ You can honestly say apps make the deployment a little easier.

~ You are in charge of the bills, which makes sense, since sometimes your spouse is deployed.

~ You didn’t have to pay for your breast pump, TRICARE gave you one after you had your baby.

~ You are a SAHM, a WAHM or you work outside the home. You do whatever works for you and your family because you can.

~ You wake up every morning, supporting your service member. Through the deployments, the PCS moves, and anything military life throws at you.

What makes you a modern military spouse???

 

Stop Saying That We Knew What We Were Getting Into

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Stop Saying That We Knew What We Were Getting Into

“You knew what you were getting into”

If you have been a military spouse for any length of time, you have heard someone say this. This phrase comes from civilians, military spouses, and military service members. I don’t like it.

My response to this is, no, we didn’t know what we were getting into. 

You see, us military spouses, we know there will be time apart, we don’t know how lonely that can be.

How quiet the house can get when you are the only one in it. How you will crave the little daily chats, you used to have with your spouse, and how sad you can get when you think about those moments.

We know we will have to move often, but we don’t know how hard it will be to leave someone that is like a sister to us.

The person we spent last Christmas with. The neighbor who helped us when our son was in the hospital. The friend that we could talk to about anything. The person that became closer to us than anyone else ever had.

We know there will be deployments, but we don’t know how they might break us.

How we might get so overwhelmed with them that we can’t imagine going through another one, even though we know that with our spouse’s job, that will be our reality.

We know there might be children, but we can’t know what their struggles might be or what having one parent gone all the time will be like.

We can’t predict what raising a child on the autism spectrum will be like when your other half is gone for a year at a time. We can’t know how drained we will feel as a SAHM, even though that is what we always wanted to do.

We know that we might have to sacrifice our careers for theirs, but we don’t know how hard that can be or how long we have to wait on our own career goals.

We can’t know if we will be in a state where we can work using our degree or if we will have to settle for something else because that is all there is. And then have to deal with the emotional toll of all of that.

We know this life will be a hard one but what that looks like, how we will be able to get through the difficult days, and what the years our spouse will serve will look like is a surprise. 

Life is filled with surprises. This is true for everyone, military or not. What you thought your life might be like will look different than what happens.

No one knows what they are getting into. No one can predict that. No one can be 100% ready for what this military life brings.

Even if we did know what we signed up for, that doesn’t mean we can’t vent a little on our more challenging days, cry into our pillows when we just can’t take anymore, or simply ask for help because everything is just too overwhelming at times.

Before you say, “You knew what you were getting into,” think about your own life and all the ways things turned out differently than you thought they would.

Be compassionate to the military spouse that is having a more difficult time. Understand that everyone handles deployments differently. Know that some of us ask for help because we are trying to better our situations, not because we want to fail.

Military spouses are strong but only because we have had to become that way. Through trials, challenges, and the surprises that military life brings.

What has been your biggest military life challenge?

Don’t forget to check out The Newbie’s Guide to Military Life: Surviving a PCS and More by Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life and Mrs Navy Mama. Your guide for learning about military life.

22 Tips for a Better Military Spouse Life

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22 Tips for a Better Military Spouse Life

22 Tips for a Better Military Spouse Life

Are you a new military spouse? Maybe you have been living this life for a few years now? Maybe your spouse is about to hit 20 years? No matter where you are in your military spouse journey, there are certain tips that can help you along the way. Certain things to remember so that you have a better overall experience.

Here is a list of 22 tips to help you have a better military spouse life-

1. Take it a day at a time- You will find that in your military life journey, you will have bad days, especially when your spouse is away. Take these days one day at a time. Try not to look at all the days you will have to get through. Sometimes that can be too overwhelming.

2. Sometimes you will need to take it an hour at a time- Sometimes you will have to take things an hour at a time. This is especially true during the first or last weeks of a deployment.

3. Don’t forget about you- When your spouse joins the military, it can be easy to feel like you don’t matter anymore. That you are just there to support your spouse. But you are much more than that. Don’t forget about yourself and what you need. That is important as well.

4. You are much stronger than you think- During your time as a military spouse you will go through situations you never thought you would be able to. I never thought I could make it through a 15-month deployment but I did. I never thought I could handle having a baby without my husband but I did. You will surprise yourself with what you can get through that you didn’t think you were able to do before.

5. Look at the calendar differently- Sometimes you will celebrate holidays and birthdays later on than you normally would. That is okay. If your spouse has to be away for Christmas, celebrate the holiday early. If they are going to miss your anniversary, celebrate when they get home. The calendar looks different to us military spouses and that is okay.

6. Learn about your bills & how to budget- If you don’t already know about what bills to pay and when they are due, you need to find out. You will need to be the main person in charge of paying the bills. Or at least know how to do it. Why? Because sometimes your spouse will not be able to. They could be deployed or somewhere where they could not do anything with your finances. You will need to know how to pay the bills and how to budget so that you can make the best of the money you and your spouse make.

7. POA is your best friend- POAs are a must. You can get your Power of Attorney on post through JAG or through a lawyer. Consider getting special POAs for situations that might come up.

8. Find good battle buddies- You need some good friends in your military life. Friends that can help you through the hard days and friends you can make memories with through the good ones.

9. Be a good friend- You should also be a good friend to others. Be there for people and be a listening ear. Sometimes all someone needs is someone to talk to.

10. Be flexible- Flexible is going to have to become your middle name when you are a military spouse. You can’t always plan on anything happening the way you want it to. You will have to adjust.

11. Stay away from drama if you can- Drama is going to happen at some point in your military life, trust me. Drama can happen in your neighborhood, in a group you are in or even on the soccer field. Do your best to stay away from drama and confront it if you need to. Walking away from the drama is also a good choice.

12. Ask questions- If you don’t understand something, ask questions. Ask a friend, your FRG or even your husband. You won’t always get an answer but asking is helpful to learn more about this military life.

13. Be wary of rumors- Rumors are going to happen. Rumors about deployments, rumors about redeployment, rumors about the Command. Just keep in mind a rumor could be half true or not true at all. Just keep that in mind when you hear something that isn’t fact.

14. Have a backup plan- Having a backup plan is a good idea. You might even need a backup plan for your backup plan. You never know when things will change and you might have to abandon your first plan.

15. Follow your own dreams as much as you can- Did you always want to do something as a career? Don’t be afraid to follow your dreams as much as possible. This is sometimes harder to do depending on your spouse’s career but if you are creative you can make things happen.

16. Don’t be afraid to be you- Be who you are. The military spouse world is made up of a lot of different types of spouses. Be you and find your tribe.

17. Lower your expectations- Sometimes lowering your expectations a little bit can help with your frustration levels. Talking to your spouse every day when they are deployed might not be possible and expecting to be able to can make life really hard. Just try to lower expectations a little bit to help cut down on your frustrations.

18. Get involved in the military community- Get involved. Join a club, go to post events or visit the FRG. You never know who you might meet or what kind of experience you could have.

19. Don’t be afraid to ask for help- Sometimes asking for help is difficult but don’t feel bad if you need to do so. Sometimes a short Facebook post can result in many helping hands.

20. Say No- Know that if you feel like you have too much on your plate, it is okay to say no. You don’t always have to say yes.

21. Say Yes- Sometimes we can get in a rut where we don’t want to do anything. Where you just want to stay home and chill. Try to put yourself out there if you find you are in a funk and need a way to get out of it. Say yes to something new. You might really enjoy yourself.

22. Write love letters- Write love letters. Send them to your spouse. Have fun with them and enjoy being able to write to each other in this way. Most likely when your spouse comes home you will not write these types of letters anymore.

How long have you been a military spouse? What advice would you give?

Why Military Spouse Friendships Are Important

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The first military friends I ever met were after I moved to Germany when I was 27 years old. I met most of these ladies through the FRG. I also met people through playgroups and PWOC. Over the years I have been able to make friends at places like swim lessons, MOPS, and our local Bunco group.

Sometimes it can take a while to find those people that you will connect with. When you move somewhere new, thinking about finding those friends can feel pretty overwhelming. Where do you go? How do you make friends? How much do you have to put yourself out there?

Military Friendships

Finding military friends might be difficult sometimes but worth it.

Here is why…

Friends make the time pass

Let’s face it, having friends helps the time to pass. Whether you are busy making lunch dates, dinners out, or just getting together with the kids every so often. Staying busy is a must and friends help you do just that. If you are new to your duty station, finding a friend who has been there a while can help you get to know the area too.

Friends get you through the hardest parts

Having a bad deployment day? You can call a friend. Not sure how you will get through the next few months? Let people know. Most likely they will understand what you are going through and want to help. Knowing you have people to go to just to vent or to work out a problem is a good thing.

Friendships

Friends help you make memories

When you spend time together, whether you do so on a holiday when both your husbands are deployed or you meet up regularly just to chat, you will be making memories you will always cherish. Once you or they move away, you will think back to those memories that you have made and smile. Even when several years have passed, you will look back at those moments and be so thankful that you had those times together.

Military friendships can last forever

Even though the military means you have to move around and saying goodbye to people becomes the norm, you don’t have to say goodbye altogether. The military world can surprise you and you never know when you two might end up at the same duty station again or when one of you will be visiting nearby. Stay in touch, post to each other on social media, and make plans to meet up again, even if it is years down the line.

They know what it is like to miss their spouse

When you are talking with friends who have never had to live without their spouse, there can be a bit a disconnect there. Not that they can’t support you, they can. But only those who have felt that deployment ache, know how hard being without your spouse really is.

They understand why cereal for dinner makes sense, they understand why you cry yourself to sleep, they understand how exciting homecoming can be even if you are nervous about what having them home will mean. Other military spouses can truly understand.

Why Military Spouse Friendships Are Important

The most interesting part of this life has been the people I have met along the way. Some have become close friends, ones that I will always talk to. Others are more casual friends, and although some have moved away, I will always remember the fun that we had.

As you go through your military life journey, be open to new friendships and meeting people along the way. They will be the ones that will get you through and help improve your life.

Looking for more military life posts?

How To Stay Married When The Military Is In Charge

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How To Stay Married When The Military Is In Charge

My husband joined the Army when we had been married for about three years. Everything before that was so different. We have had our Germany years and our Fort Campbell years and are now in our National Guard years.

Our boys are getting older, one is just about three years away from being an adult himself. We have one son with Autism and have had other challenges with our kids to figure out over the last 15 years.

We have been through four deployments, and too many other times apart to count. Lately, he has been home more often than he has ever been. I am not sure how long this will last, but this time together has been so needed.

I always feel a bit funny giving marriage advice. For a while, that was because I hadn’t been married long enough. Then, I just wasn’t sure if my advice would apply to anyone who read it. I have friends whose marriages haven’t lasted, even though they went into them with that as a plan.

I know so many people that are living a completely different life than they thought they would, with a completely different person than they started out with. Life happens, and you never really know how that will change you or your spouse.

But, as I look at my upcoming anniversary, I can’t help but think about what has worked and what hasn’t. I can’t help but think about what my marriage has gone through and what challenges we have faced over the years.

I don’t claim to have the secrets about how to stay married when you are in the military. Everyone has a different story. Everyone is dealing with their own experiences.

Marriage is never easy, but I do think there are things you can do to help keep you stay married over the miles and over the years.

Forgive Often

You are going to have to forgive each other and do so often. Whenever you live with another person, they are going to piss you off. They are going to get on your nerves sometimes, and you could find yourself holding a bit of a grudge if they wrong you in some way.

Obviously, there are exceptions. You don’t have to forgive someone who cheated on you. You don’t have to put up with abuse. But, in your day-to-day, try to forgive the little things. They usually aren’t worth holding on to.

Know Your Spouse’s Personality

This is something I feel like I didn’t quite get until the last few years. And if I had realized this earlier, things might have been a bit easier for me. I knew going in my husband is a completely different person than I am, but there is so much more to that that can affect your everyday.

The 5 Love Languages Military Edition: The Secret to Love That Lasts (this is an affiliate link) book is a good start. You can also take an Enneagram test to figure out you and your partner’s personality type as well as taking a Myers-Briggs test. These also can be good for friendships and getting along with people in general.

Knowing how your spouse works, how they feel loved, and what is important to them will help so much when certain struggles come up in your marriage. While “treat others like you want to be treated” can be good advice, it doesn’t always work 100%. Over the years I have learned more about what my husband appreciates and what he doesn’t care too much about.

One example is care packages. Some spouses love them. I know I would.

If I was deployed and my husband sent me a care package I would feel so loved. But for my husband? It is different. While he would appreciate one, receiving a care package wouldn’t be the same as it would be for me. When he is deployed, I don’t need to send him one on a regular basis, but that isn’t true for every deployed service member.

Communicate Expectations Before They Deploy

Talking about your expectations before a deployment starts is so important. Talk about how often you need to hear from them, care packages, and even how you will be spending your money during a deployment.

There are so many times when frustrating situations come up because each spouse has a different idea of how things are going to be during a deployment. While you can’t prepare for everything, communicating about deployment expectations will go a long way in helping your marriage when they are gone.

Talk Things Over

Constantly talking things over with your spouse is a must. You want to be on the same page about what you guys are going through. You don’t want to keep big things from each other.

If your children are very young and date nights are hard to come by, make use of the time after they go to bed. Cook a nice dinner, and have some conversations. You can connect this way, without even leaving your home.

If you can go on regular date nights, do so. They can make for the perfect time to talk about your lives, what is going on with both of you and what you want for the future. Lately, my husband and have been going out a couple of times a month.

We can have some fun, kid-free time together and let each other know how things are going. Sometimes during the workweek, we are ships passing in the night, so having that time together is very important to our marriage.

If your spouse is deployed, this type of thing can be difficult, especially if it isn’t easy to communicate. Writing letters can help, as well as trying to connect when you can. Other times you might just have to make some decisions on your own and tell them about them later.

During my husband’s first deployment, we went a whole month without talking with each other. That was just the way things were, so a lot of things I had to handle all by myself. That time wasn’t easy, but can be how a deployment goes.

Don’t Get Mad At Them For Something The Military Has Done

Getting mad at your spouse because of something the military has done can be easy to do. Keep in mind, they have to go where the military tells them to go, where the military tells them to go. And they can’t always take you with them.

Your spouse will also have to make decisions based on their career. You might not totally understand why and this can be frustrating. Try to remember, they want to make the right choice, and they might have to say yes to things you don’t want them to.

When it comes to the decision to re-enlist or not, decisions can be complicated. In some cases, getting out of the military is a must, for the mental health of the spouse or other members of the family. In other cases, that isn’t going to work, and the career aspirations of your service member need to be taken into account. Talking through your expectations, worries, and your hopes for the future is always a smart idea.

What is your best advice about how to stay married when the military is in charge?

To the Burned Out Solo Parent

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To the Burned Out Solo Parent

It’s almost bedtime, almost. You start your bedtime routine at 6:30 on the dot and if all goes well, the kids will be asleep by 7:30, or 8:30, usually by 9, but sometimes even as late as 10:00. It just depends.

If your spouse is deployed at the moment, it really doesn’t matter how long bedtime takes, it will still be 100% on you to get those kids to bed. There will be no trading off nights, no asking for help, no relief if you had a burned out day and need to just chill by yourself for a bit.

Solo parenting doesn’t allow that.

Solo parenting means you play both mom and dad, even if you are tired.

Solo parenting means you make all the daily decisions for the kids, and that can get exhausting.

Solo parenting means you can’t wait for the little bit of me time you get after the kids go to bed, but know you will probably just want to go to sleep yourself.

The first time I ever became a solo parent my son was 13 months old. It was quite a shock to the system. And one I never fully got used to. Everything was on me. And at times, I felt like I couldn’t get it done.

So to the burned out solo parent, I get it. This is hard. Really hard.

You have too much to do, you just do

That’s the reality of the situation. You have to prioritize and let some things go. You can’t do it all, and if you try, solo parenting will be that much more difficult for you. You are doing everything you have to do and stepping in for the other parent as well.

Keep this in mind when you feel like you can’t get it all done, you weren’t supposed to get it all done. Some things can wait for the next day, the next week, or even when they get back home.

You have to stay busy

Staying home all day, every day, with children and no spouse coming home at night is going to make this whole deployment thing a bit more complicated.

Find places to go, even if you just walk down to the park. Find people to hang out with, even if it is just for an hour. Find new hobbies, and get your kids involved in them too.

You have to give yourself a break

What you are doing is not easy, and a lot of people might never understand what solo parenting is really like. They might say things that annoy you or piss you off. They just don’t totally understand.

But don’t let them get you down. Figure out what works for you and your kids and do it, even if what you choose to do is different than the norm.

Find that me time

I know, it’s hard to find time for yourself but see what you can do. Things that have helped me along the way were hourly care on post, MOPS, PWOC, trading babysitting with friends, having family come and help, spending time on myself after the kids go to bed, and being able to say no sometimes. Taking care of ourselves is so important too, we can’t forget that in the midst of our solo parenting days.

So to the burned out solo parent, think of one thing you could do right now to help ease some of the stress. Write it down, make a plan to get it done, or ask a friend to help you. There are things you can do to make this part of military life a little bit easier.

How do you make things a little easier for yourself when you are in a season of solo parenting?