Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

Motherhood

Where Should My Kids Sleep?

by 2 Comments

Where Should My Kids Sleep?

 

We moved into our current home four years ago. At the time we had a 6-year-old, 4-year-old and 9 month old. All boys. Our house is set up so our Master bedroom is downstairs. I love this because it really gives us some space. It wasn’t until we moved in here I was okay with that. We had a similar set up in our last house in Germany and we decided to put our room on the same floor with the boys. It is funny how your wants can change just by adding another child to the mix.

Before we moved in we decided to paint most of the rooms. This was a lot of fun! We even had the boys help.

We put my oldest two in the same room and then the baby had his own room, the smallest of the three upstairs. The third bedroom up there would be the office. This set up worked for a while since I had two older kids and a baby. Then the baby got a bit older and we decided to put him in with my oldest son giving our middle son his own room. At the time it made sense. He is the one with Asperger’s and he needed his space. About a year later we switched it up again because my son was asking if he could share a room with someone again. We changed things up even more putting the office into the small room and turning the former office into my oldest son’s room. This allowed my middle son to have a roommate and gave my oldest some space.

That worked for about a year and then my middle son was talking about how he wanted some space again. So I thought about it and we put my oldest and youngest together again. That is where they are now.

The issue is now my 8-year-old wants to be with one of his brothers again so we have some choices to make. We could put all three boys in one room but that is a little crazy. We could give the 4-year-old his own room, my other two had their own rooms at some point around that age. We could put the 8-year-old with the 4-year-old and give my 10-year-old his own room again but the 8 and 4-year-old don’t get along as well. We are really going to have to think about this.

So how do you decide where your kids are going to sleep?

There is a lot to think about. For my parents it was pretty easy. They just had a boy and a girl. For others it gets a little more complicated. The great thing is that you can be flexible and change things around as needed. You can get creative, making space for kids in other rooms. If your kids are older you can talk to them about what they would want and who they would want to room with.

How have you set up the rooms in your house? Has it been a challenge to figure out what the best way to do things would be? Head on over to Hello Mamas and find other moms to talk to about this or any other issues your family might be having.

influencer

Why I Had An Epidural After Two Natural Births

by 10 Comments

Why I Had An Epidural After Two Natural Births

A few months ago I wrote all about my natural births. How it was very important for me to go natural and how that worked out. However, for baby #3 I did not go natural. I decided to have an epidural and I wanted to explain why. I will say that birth choices should be made by each mother. Not by the doctor, midwife or anyone else. If you want to go natural, you should. Don’t let anyone tell you it is too hard. If you want an epidural, get one. Don’t let anyone tell you that it is not the best choice for you.

When I got pregnant with my third child, I was tired. Yes, I know all pregnant women are tried, but I felt more tired with this pregnancy. I was older. The older you have a baby the more tired you will feel. I also think that you can only really tell this if you have a baby at different ages. So if you are having your first child in your 30s you are not going to be to be able to tell as much as someone having their 3rd or 4th at that age. I could be wrong but that is my theory and I am sticking with it.

I was 25 with my first, 27 with my 2nd and was now 31 with my third. I could feel it. My best friend also had her last baby at 31 and she said she felt the exact same way. That it was a lot more tiring. It could also have had to do with the fact that we had other children running around that we had to take care of too.

I found out I was pregnant with my son in March of 2010, right after we moved back to the United States from Germany. As the pregnancy went on, we started hearing about a deployment. However, we were told my husband would not have to go until at least January, a few months after the baby was born. He had stop loss until November even though the Unit was leaving in August. I was due December 1st.

Then around the time I was about 7-8 months pregnant they started telling us that he would have to go the last week of November. Maybe. I started freaking out a bit. What if he had to go and that night I went into labor, would they send him back? What if I had the baby two days before he was supposed to go, would they let him stay? Who could I have with me just in case he wasn’t there? Although I had given birth before without my husband, I didn’t want to do it again.

So all of this lead into my decision to not be so into natural childbirth. It wasn’t that I didn’t care. It wasn’t that I didn’t think that was a good choice anymore. I just was tired and couldn’t think about how I could really do it this time, especially if my husband was not there. I needed him. During our 1st birth he was my rock. I just didn’t think I could do it again without him.

So I did what I always told others not to do. I was going to wait until we got to the hospital to decide on the epidural. Now, if you truly want a natural birth, if that is important to you, you can not wait until you go into labor. You have to prepare ahead of time. With exercises and with your mind. You have to decide that natural is how you are going to give birth unless there is a medical reason not to. You have to understand that if you give birth in an American hospital, you will be asked if you want drugs. You have to prepare for that. You can’t just decide when you get there. Because if you haven’t made that decision yet, you will ask for those drugs.

I knew all of this. I knew it well and at the time, I didn’t care anymore. I really just wanted to have a baby.

So in the end the Army was nice to us and pushed my husband’s deployment off. He ended up leaving in February when our son was a few months old.

One night, a couple of weeks before I was due, I went into labor at 3:30 in the morning. My friend came over to stay with our other boys, we headed to the hospital at Ft. Campbell, BACH and by the time we had checked it, it was about 4:30.  I was in a room where they were making sure I was actually in labor and how far I was. I was at a 4 and they asked if I wanted an epidural. I said “yes” and that I never had one before. They couldn’t really believe why I had not had one before. I kinda had to roll my eyes because I never regretted having natural births. But this birth was different and for this one I wanted an epidural.

My son was born around 6:15am. He came fast. We went to the birthing room, they gave me the epidural and then he was born. They tell me the epidural didn’t have time to work. Trust me, it did. Having gone through the ring of fire before, trust me, it did something.

My little red-head came out so fast I didn’t even know what was happening. It was quite the experience.

I am 99.9% sure I will never have another baby the rest of my days. However, if I did, I am not sure what I would do. I go super fast. Each birth was faster than the other. So I think I would consider a home birth. Who knows? I am glad I experienced the epidural. I am good with that choice. I want the same for every woman. I don’t want anyone to feel they should do something they don’t want to do. Birth choices are so important.

How did you birth your babies? Would you do things differently if you could go back and do it all again?

Feeling Lonely When Your Husband Goes Off To War

by 2 Comments

Feeling Lonely When Your Husband Goes Off To War

My son was just about 22 months old when my husband first went off to war.

I was pregnant with our 2nd child and had no clue what to expect. It was a whole new world for me. I luckily had a group of other wives whose husbands were in the same Company with mine. This made it a little easier to say goodbye.

I remember after the men got on the buses. Sitting with a few other wives. Waiting to see them drive by so we could wave one more time. As we sat there, we really didn’t know what we were really dealing with. We didn’t know then how hard it would be. How long the deployment would end up being. How many men would not come home. How scary it would be. We really had no idea how lonely we would feel.

I went home to my house with my little boy and we started the deployment. At first, it felt like I could handle it. My mom was going to come and stay with us for two months when the baby was supposed to come. I knew I would be busy with a newborn and a two-year-old.

My son was born, my husband came home for R&R, then he left again. My mom went home. My son got sick. He got better. Spring came.

As the months went on, it got harder and harder.

The feeling of loneliness took over me. I remember sitting in my bathroom, after my son went to sleep, wondering how I was going to get through that time without my husband. He is the one person I could talk to about anything. Even the silly things. The everyday things. The things husbands and wives talk about.

By this point in the deployment I wasn’t even able to talk to him that much. I think the longest we went was 30 days. 30 days without anything from my husband. I felt like I was in a weird place. I knew I was married, but I didn’t feel like I was. I knew I had a husband out there that loved me, but it seemed like it was something from another time. Your mind can really play tricks on you.

Having a community to depend on is the #1 thing you can do when you reach this point of the deployment.

When you feel so lonely and you would give anything to have a real conversation with another adult. When you crave your husband’s touch, but you know you have to wait for it. Having a community of other wives to talk about this with is what got me through those months.

When they told us that our husbands would be extended during the surge in Iraq in 2007, that they would not come home after a year, we all met at McDonald’s to let the kids play. We cried together and tried to figure out how we were going to get through it. We knew we could not handle this alone. We knew we needed each other.

So while I still struggled with that loneliness, especially at night, when the house was quiet, I was glad to have a circle of friends around me who got what I was going through. That I could vent with, cry with and get through the deployment with.

They made all of the difference!

How do you handle loneliness during your spouse’s deployment???

Motherhood Isn’t What I Thought It Would Be

by 2 Comments

Motherhood Isn't What I Thought It Would Be

I was watching the movie, Mom’s Night Out and there was a scene that reall stuck with me. Ally, mother of three young children is excausted, tired and needing a big time Mommy break. This scene is after her young daughter colored on the wall. She stands there repainting the wall but stops when she sees her young daughter’s drawing of their family. It was a mom, dad and the three kids.

It was in this moment that Ally realizes she is living her dream. That she wanted to be a mom and now she is. That this life she has is what she has always dreamed of doing at her age.

It hit me hard because I can relate to so many of her feelings.

It’s easy to get overwhelmed with the kids, to feel as if nothing you do matters and to feel like you are going to have a complete meltdown if anyone asks you for one more thing.

To feel like your life is a mess, just a big mess and you have zero direction.

But being able to step back and look at things from another point of view can really help.

What if I was 36 and not yet a mom? What if I was still waiting to find the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with? I feel lucky that I met him when I was 22. That feels SO young to be now. But I met him then and I knew he was the one for me. As I get frustrated with life right now, and believe me there is a lot to get frustrated about, I have to remind myself that I am lucky and I have everything I ever wanted.

I have three kids who make me laugh and drive me crazy, all at the same time. Three little people that love me and depend on me for almost everything. Even more so when they were tiny babies and without me they woudn’t eat or get anything that they needed.

I have a husband who I love and who loves me and is never afraid to tell me that.

I have a house that we have made a home that felt like the perfect fit when we moved in. When you live somewhere a while, little things can start to bug you about it. They say this is a good thing because then you know what you want in your next house. I remember how it felt to walk into this house when we were looking. How it was the only one we both really liked and we could literally see our kids living in.

As much as I babysat as a teen, as much as I watched my own mother as a stay at home mom, I really had no idea what motherhood was going to be like. I had no idea how hard it would be sometimes or about some of the challanges we would have to face. I never realized how tired you can get or how you might just need to take some time to yourself to make it through the next day or the next week. I never knew what raising little people would really be like.

Motherhood isn’t what I thought it would be.

It some ways it is a lot harder and more frustrating. It has its moments and it has its very bad days. But at the same time, it can fill you will so much joy. It can fullful you in a way you never thought it could. It could change you in ways you never thought possible.

As I sit here on a July day, wondering if I am doing it right I am reminded that at the end of the day, most of us are doing it right. It might look different from household to household but by loving my children, by making the best choices that I know how to make, I am helping them grow into people and hopefully helping them learn how to make the world a much better place, one day at a time.

 

 

Enjoying Summer with Your Kids When You Start to Burn Out with Hello Mamas

by 6 Comments

Enjoying Summer with Your Kids When You Start to Burn Out

Enjoying Summer with Your Kids When You Start to Burn Out

We are a month into summer vacation, things are getting a little slow and I am starting to feel a little burned out. The newness of sleeping in has worn off and it is getting hot. We still love the pool but it isn’t as new as it used to be. We have almost two more months to go and I have been thinking about how to best make it through these weeks. We have a few activities planned such as day camp and swim lessons but we also have many weeks where we will have to come up with something else fun to do.

Summer can get to a point where you just get over it and long for fall days filled with school, sweaters and Pumpkin lattes. I get to this point every year but right now I still want to enjoy summer. I want to make use of this time with my kids that I normally don’t have. I want to make memories and have a good time. Basically, I don’t want to dread the next 1.5 months because my kids are out of school. That is no way to live.

As I have been thinking about how to handle the rest of summer, these thoughts came to mind…

1) Planning the right amount of activities. I want to be busy and do a lot but at the same time, doing too much is just not going to work for our family. We need some downtime. With it being as hot as it is, sometimes it is nice just to spend some time in an air-conditioned house relaxing. It can be a hard balance because too much time at home isn’t good either.

2) Trying new things. My 4-year-old is playing a sport this summer. It’s been a lot of fun for him and he is learning new skills. My oldest also went to summer camp which he has never done before. It is great to see my kids learning about something they didn’t already know about. Even if they are a little nervous about it at first, they usually enjoy it and have found something new to love about the summer.

3) Sometimes simple is good. It would be nice to be able to have fun-filled days each and every day, take a few fun vacations and get out and see the world. But it is also nice and perfectly okay to have a simple summer. Activities such as going to the pool and the splash park might be all you need to do with the kids to have a good time. Don’t ever feel like your kids are missing out just because they aren’t doing a lot of complex activities. Simple can be just as fun and can keep them just as busy, you just have to find the right activity that they enjoy.

If summer is starting to get to you, go back to the drawing board and make some new plans. Remember that it doesn’t last forever and before you know it you will be shopping for school supplies and picking out what they will wear for the first day. Until then, enjoy your time together, make some memories and have a great rest of your summer.

How is summer going for you?

 

hello mamas

I am excited to announce that I am now a Hello Mamas Blogging Influencer. If you haven’t heard of Hello Mamas, you should head on over and check it out. It is a great site to connect with other moms that you have something in common with. It’s a great too when looking for new friends or someone to connect with.

When You See A Child Throwing A Fit

by 2 Comments

When You See A Child Throwing A Fit

 

When You See A Child Throwing A Fit

The other day there was a video being posted online about a boy throwing a tantrum in the car. Although I thought it was a little odd that they were filming and not pulling the car over, I felt sympathy for the kind of fit the kid was having.

It was the kind of fit I am familiar with.

It was just like an autistic fit.

Maybe it wasn’t. Maybe the kid had no behavioral issues and was just acting like that to get his way. But maybe not.

But the thing that really struck me was the comments people were making about the kid. About if he were their son his “butt would be beat” or how their own child never would have been allowed to act that way. It gave me insight into what people could be thinking if I was out in public when my son was having a similar fit.

But it also made me feel like people just don’t get it. That they don’t understand what it is like to have a child like that.

I know for me that anytime I am anywhere and see a child with a similar fit my thoughts immediately think there is some type of special needs going on. That is based on my own experiences and what I have had to deal with.

I know that others don’t think that way and have their own opinions about the subject.

As a special needs mom I have learned to ignore a lot about what people say concerning my child. There is ignorance out there and there is acceptance. I try to surround myself with people who get it and who are not going to judge.

I really do wish that instead of assuming a child needs harsher discipline that people would take a step back and remember that most moms are doing their best and there are certain issues that some children have that cause them to act in certain ways.

That although it might not seem like it, that child could be improving. That they used to throw 5 fits a day and now they are down to 3.

That the mom was up all night because the same child doesn’t sleep and gave in when she really probably shouldn’t have. Because that happens sometimes.

That the day was going really well until something small set the child off and their parents are still learning how to handle what is happening to their son.

That the parents are still trying to wrap their minds around a diagnosis that they never saw coming.

That the fit you see is not quite as loud and harsh as it used to be and that the parents are thankful for that.

That the parents are working with professionals about how to figure out what to do next with their child.

There are so many reasons why that child is throwing a fit at the moment. You just never know what someone else could be dealing with. Give them the benefit of the doubt, offer help if it makes sense to and just be a bigger person then one that assumes they know what is best for someone else’s child.

All of us special needs moms will with thank you for it.

Feeling Weak When Others Are Strong

by Leave a Comment

Feeling Weak When Others Are Strong

 

I love social media, I really do. I can’t imagine life without it these days but sometimes it can really frustrate me. Sometimes I think we only want to post about ourselves when we are strong. When we have it all put together and when everything is happy-go-lucky. I even hear people talk about how one should never complain on social media because it brings others down.

Really?

Now I agree, someone who is going to complain 24/7, on every post or even in real life every time you see them is going to bring others down. However, I do think it is okay to vent, complain or even share that you are not at your best.

There is this idea, especially in Military circles, that we are strong, all the time. That nothing can stand in our way. That we can conquer every little thing. Well, for me, that isn’t always true. There are some days I do feel strong, that I do feel like I have it all together but there are other days I don’t. There are days I feel very weak and days I don’t think I can really get through what I need to get through. I look around me and see others being so strong, doing it all and then some, being able to figure it all out, never getting upset or shedding a tear.

In reality I know that no one is that together all of the time. It is the face we present to the world. It is very easy to just show the good and happy moments.

Still, when I wake up sad and wonder how I will make it through the day without breaking down, I see people being strong through much harder circumstances and I wonder if something is wrong with me. That I am letting what I am going through bring me down so much and that they have figured out a way to get through it. Then I remember that I see 100% of myself and what I am going through and we really only see 10-20% of what others are going through. There is that quote about not comparing our “novel” with someone else’s “cliff notes” and that is so true.

I shouldn’t feel badly that I am having a bad day or that I feel like I couldn’t handle anymore stress at the moment just because someone else doesn’t seem to have an issue with it. We were all made differently with our own strengths and weaknesses. We can go through the exact same thing as someone else and have a totally different experience with it. And there are probably other circumstances they have gone though that they felt were very difficult that I didn’t think twice about.

I think it is important to have the right “tools” to get through stressful situations. Things to do such as praying or writing in a journal. People to talk with such as a best friend, family member or counselor. Still, some days those tools don’t work right and you just need to have a good cry or a good sob in some cases.

Sometimes it is because of a drill weekend right when I just need to spend time with my husband, sometimes it is because of my son’s special needs, sometimes it is because I am so homesick for my family and other times it is everything all put together.

It’s so hard to feel weak when others seem like they are so strong. Do you struggle with this too? What do you do about it?

 

 

What My Mom Taught Me

by 1 Comment

What My Mom Taught Me

 

My mom is one of the best. She has taught me so much over the years. She was a teacher by profession but she also taught me so many things over the years. She is still teaching me, even though I am 36.

She taught me to say please and thank you. I hear her voice even now reminding me about how important that is.

She taught me to be kind to everyone. I see how kind and caring she is to those around her and I want to be like that too.

She taught me to have fun. That sometimes you should do something a little silly. I have tried to be like that with my own kids as well.

She taught me about shopping. She might not think I was paying attention all those years when I wanted to be with my Dad at the bookstore instead of trying on clothes in the rest of the mall, but I was. She taught me how to look for deals and that you can in fact find nice shirts for as low as $5 if you know where to look.

She taught me the importance of family and that I should be nice to my brother. She wanted us to be friends and even though it took a very long time to get there, my brother and I are friends and I know that warms her heart after the years of sibling rivalry.

She taught me that a mom gives up herself, even if she doesn’t want to.

She taught me that even though you are a mom, even a stay at home mom, having your own dreams and interests is also just as important as raising your children.

She taught me to never give up and that if you want something bad enough, you might have to try a few different methods to get it.

Through her recent illness she has taught me that although life isn’t always perfect, having a good support system and a positive attitude can go a long way. She is so strong and I am inspired by her ability to get better and find ways to find support when it feels like no one else knows what she is going through.

She taught me to look for the good in everyone. To walk in someone else’s shoes before you judge them. You never really know what their story might be.

My mom has taught me so much. And even though I get a lot of my personality and my interests from my father, I see a lot of myself in her too. I was lucky to be raised by such a woman and looking forward to the day when we live close to one another again.

What have you learned from your mom, grandma or the other motherly figure in your life?

Podcasts You Should Listen To

by Leave a Comment

Podcasts you should listen to

 

 

Podcasts! I love them. I found them back in 2009 when I was spending the summer with my parents. At the time I had to download them to my ipod and listen that way. I only really listened to one that was on photography. In 2012 I discovered a few more but my phone did not have very much space. I upgraded last fall and was able to add more. Then Serial came out and I really started getting into them.

The nice thing about podcasts is that I can listen to them while I am cleaning, working, walking or even in the car. I can listen before bed or even in the shower in the morning. I don’t have to be staring at a screen when I have them on. I have it set that they only download when I am on WiFi so the podcasts I am subscribed to will download new episodes only when I am at home but I can listen to them anytime as long as they did in fact download.

I don’t listen to every single episode of every single podcast I am subscribed to. Some episodes just don’t catch my interest. I also might subscribe and then realize I just don’t like the podcast enough to stick with it. Not that it is bad but that there are other podcasts I would rather listen to.

I figured out that there are podcasts on pretty much any topic you could think of. Since I use the Podcast app on my iphone, I can go into search, type in a topic and it will give me a list of podcasts that have a show about that topic. I then go in and see if anything is what I am looking for and try a few of them out.

At the moment I am subscribed to 40 podcasts which I know seems like a lot. Some only update once or twice a month. Others are random or update once a week. There are a few that put out a new episode more than once a week. Again, I look at the topic and then decide if I want to listen to it. So if the podcast just says, “Episode one” with nothing else, I probably won’t subscribe to it because I want to know what the episode is going to be about.

I am going to highlight a few of my favorite podcasts that I think you might like too:

Movies & Tv

  • The Popcast– Hosted by Knox McCoy and Jamie Golden. If you love tv/movies/popculture, you need to listen to this one. They talk about the latest craze, celebrities, binge watching tv shows, etc and they always make me laugh. I might not always agree with them but they crack me up regardless of what it is they are talking about. They seem to come out with a new podcast once a week.
  • Afterbuzz– They have podcasts for about 300 shows. If you are watching a show and want a podcast for it, check them out first. I currently am subscribed to Grey’s Anatomy, Mad Men, American Crime and Secrets and Lies. I love to hear people talk about the episode I just watched. They usually come out with a new show the day after the episode airs.
  • Wingin It– I knew I had to find a West Wing podcast and since this one started rather recently, in March and they still seem to be putting new episodes out, I subscribed. I really like how they look the at the episodes and bring up the topics the show is about.
  • Slate’s Spoiler Specials– Love movies? This is a great one to hear about movies. They don’t have a show on every movie that comes out but they have a lot of episodes to choose from.

Social Media/Blogging

  • Smart Passive Income– This was one of the podcasts I started listening to in 2012. If you want to make money online, you need to be listening to this one. Pat Flynn is an online entrepreneur and blogger who is very successful. He loves to share what he has learned and figured out about this business. He has such great advice and interviews a lot of people. He usually has a new episode once a week.
  • AskPat.com– If you don’t have much time, subscribe to this one. It is quick tips that are answers to questions fans of Pat Flynn sent in. I usually wait until I have 3-4 episodes there and then listen to them all at once. He usually comes out with one a day.

Random Goodness

  • EarzUp– Love Disneyland? You have to listen to this one. It is my favorite of the Disneyland podcasts out there. There are three hosts that go to Disneyland often and have some great information and fun talk about the place. They release about two episodes a month.
  • Sorta Awesome– This one was started by an online friend of mine, Megan Tietz. She has three co-hosts, Kelly, Rebekah and Laura. They talk about life with kids, blogging, tv shows, what they are reading, daily life, etc. It’s fun and I love it.
  • Slate’s Audio Book Club– This one is about books. They haven’t released many episodes lately but you can go back and listen to the books you have already read.

Do you listen to podcasts? Which ones are your favorite???

 

On Having a Natural Birth

by 4 Comments

On having a natural birth

I know talking about birth methods can be complicated. There is a lot of passion on both sides on which way is the correct way to give birth to a little human.  A lot of people assume that in today’s world the only way to do it is to have a medicated birth. That there is no reason why anyone would want to go natural when you don’t have to. I feel like birth is very personal and that each mom should do what they feel would be best whether this is natural or medicated. However, I still think that going natural can be a really great experience.

I started looking into birth very early on. Part of that was because I had a sister-in-law who was a Doula and the other part was that I had a boring job where I could read a lot while I waited to answer the phones. I started with Baby Catcher which is filled with stories told by a midwife. I then moved on to books by Dr. Sears and Ina May Gaskin. Around this time I decided to go to a Doula training and my sister-in-law got pregnant with her third baby which was going to be a VBAC.

I knew I always wanted to have kids but we agreed to wait until my 25th birthday. We would have been married about 18 months then and figured having a baby after the two-year mark would be a good idea. However, birth was really interesting to me and I wanted to find out as much as I could before I even got pregnant.

I went to about 6-7 births as a Doula and they were all so amazing in their own ways. Most of the births were natural. Most of them were at the local birth center where I would eventually have our oldest son. I realized that I wanted the types of birth that those who had gone naturally had. They just drew me in and I wanted the same type of experience. I was the 2nd Doula for my sister-in-law and got to see how hard it was for her to get the birth she wanted at the hospital.

A few months later, I turned 25 and found out I was pregnant. I knew I wanted to go to the birth center. We even switched our insurance around ahead of time so we could do so when I became pregnant. It was such an amazing experience. The center had three midwives and one of them happened to be a family friend of my husband. I took turns seeing each of them at my appointments so that I would be used to the one that was on call when I went into labor.

While I was pregnant we signed up to take Bradley classes and learn the Bradley method of natural childbirth. It is a simple method all about working with your partner and your body to give birth naturally. This class combined with my research and time as a Doula really prepared me for going through birth.

My labor lasted from about midnight to 7:30 in the morning when I had my son. It was hard. A lot harder than I thought it would be but I had a great support system that got me through it. We walked around the parking lot stopping to lean on my husband during every contraction. I got in the tub for a while and was planning a waterbirth but ended up getting out at the last-minute.

After I had him I had a smallish tear and that was it. We waited at the birth center and got to go home later that day. A nurse would come the next three days to check on us.

ha

When it came time for baby #2 I was in a totally different place. We were in Germany and I would have to give birth in a German hospital. The good part about this was that in Germany they are a lot more into Natural birth. You can still get an epidural there and they were not like the birth center but they did not push me to have a medicated birth. My mom was with me as my husband missed the birth because he was deployed. I told her ahead of time that I might say I don’t want to have a natural birth anymore but she would have to remind me that it was what I wanted. Unlike with my oldest, I knew there were epidural in the building and all I had to do was ask for one.

I didn’t and gave birth to my 2nd little boy naturally. I had such a good recovery after that. I didn’t tear and I felt pretty good other than being frustrated by the language barrier at the German hospital.

I am really happy I went natural with my first two babies. Their births were great and the way I wanted them to be. I went in to the births prepared and I think that paid off. I wanted a natural birth because I knew I could do it and I felt it would be best to not have any drugs during labor. I also liked the recovery.

However, by the time baby #3 came along I did it a little differently. That will have to be in another post 🙂

How did you decide how to give birth?

 

 

* This post contains affiliate links!