Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

deployments

When is The Best Time For a Military Family To Have a Baby?

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When is The Best Time For a Military Family To Have a Baby?

When is The Best Time For a Military Family To Have a Baby?

We started this military journey with one little boy. Over the years we added two more and many times I wonder what we would have done had we started this journey without any children.

As you probably already know, when you have children as a military family you will be a solo parent, at least some of the time. You know that your spouse can miss the birth of your child, your pregnancy, and the terrible twos.

The truth is, a lot of military couples end up having children, at least after a couple of years. And they have them despite the stresses of military life. But when is the best time for a military family to have a baby? Should you even try to plan?

When we got pregnant with our 2nd little boy, we knew my husband would probably be deployed when he was born. We knew that a deployment was in the future but we also wanted to have another baby. The timing worked for us in every other way.

During our 1st deployment, I had friends who got pregnant over R&R, assuming their husband would be back home a few months before the birth. In the end, the Dads came home to two-month-olds because the deployment got extended.

The truth is, you can’t plan to have a baby around military life.

Missions, deployments, and orders change all of the time. What you think is going to happen will probably change during the nine months of your pregnancy. If you try to plan for your spouse to be home with you during the birth, things could change and they could be gone anyway, despite the best type of planning.

If you plan to get pregnant right after deployment, you will improve the chances that they will not be deployed when the baby is born but none of that is foolproof. For one thing, they could deploy again. For another, they could have to go to some type of training and be gone anyway.

Sometimes it takes you longer to get pregnant than you think

Even if you got pregnant pretty quickly in the past, that might not be the case in the future. Infertility can cause extra stress when it comes to planning around the military.

If you have a spouse that comes and goes a lot, you could keep missing the window to get pregnant and that can be frustrating. There is a lot to think about when deciding to have a child under this type of pressure.

How long will they be in the military?

How long they plan to serve can be a factor in when you should have a baby. If you are rather young and they only plan to serve a few years, waiting until military life is over might just be the best choice. You would be able to avoid the stresses of solo parenting and enjoy the time you two have together before kids come.

If you are older, this might not be an option. I know for us it wasn’t because we already had one child and knew we wanted a couple more. We didn’t know how long my husband was going to be in the military and my husband was already in his 30s.

If your spouse is planning to do 20+ years in the military, waiting until they get out might not be an option. You might have to decide to have children while he is still serving.

Do you both agree on having children?

Do you both agree on having children? Do you both agree on having children right now? Talk about what your plans are for having kids. Make sure you are on the same page.

If you want a baby right now, and your spouse wants to have one in five years, having one in the middle of military life can make everything a lot more stressful.

The most important thing is to be on the same page. Talk about your options and come up with a plan. That could be having a baby right now, that could be waiting another five years.

It’s okay to wait

I have quite a few friends who didn’t have children until they were in their 30s. I have friends that simply do not want to have children at all. That is okay too.

Just because so many do have children in the military, that doesn’t mean you have to, or that you are behind in life. Your life goals are just as important.

Remember, when you are trying to decide when the best time to have a baby in the military is, there really isn’t one.

There can be benefits to having them gone during certain parts of pregnancy. When my husband was gone during the early months, that made breastfeeding in the middle of the night a bit easier. However, he missed being there during that time.

The best thing to do is to figure out what you want for your future family, know that your spouse could miss important parts of the pregnancy or the child’s life, and figure out how you will get through those times if they happen.

Know that raising kids in the military can be a beautiful thing. They can experience things that other kids never will. They get an up and close view of the military and can learn so many life lessons at an early age.

What have you decided about having children as a military family? Are you going to wait until they get out? Is waiting not an option?

I Could Never Do It

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“I could never do it.”

“I couldn’t be a military spouse…”

“There is no way I could handle my husband being away from me”

If you have been a military spouse for any length of time you have probably heard people say that to you before. It just seems to be the thing to say. I am sure it is not because people want to insult us or make us feel bad.

I am sure saying this is just an honest response to hearing about our military lifestyle but the phrase still bothers us. This phrase makes it sound as if we are more okay with our spouses being away than other people would be. That we are more okay with going months and months without our spouse by our side. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Before my husband joined the Army, I couldn’t do it either.

I said I could never handle him being away or having to parent my son alone. I just couldn’t imagine a world where that would be our reality. Then a few months passed and we decided he was going to re-join the Army.

I had to start as a solo parent right away. Even though I didn’t think I had the strength to do so.

I said that I couldn’t do it when there were rumors that our deployment would be extended to 15 months. I didn’t think I could get through that. But I did.

When I thought about giving birth without my husband by my side, I didn’t think I could do that either but I did.

When I got married, I did not see deployments in the future as I walked down the aisle.

Everyone who had married someone already in the military could not have imagined how hard military life would really be. The military is not something you can plan out ahead of time. Military life is a journey with all kinds of twists and turns. Sometimes you will come up against a struggle you don’t think you can get through. But you do.

At the end of the day, we love our spouses. We know what their job is and we stand by them. Even if it hurts, which it does. Even if we sometimes think we can’t be strong anymore.

We push through the hardships because we know that the man or woman we see in uniform waiting to hug and kiss us after the deployment is worth all the waiting. We know that if our spouse thinks that they should be serving in the military, that we will stand beside them.

Know that sometimes we military spouses can’t do it either. That we are not always so strong and that we sometimes need a little more support.

So when you see a military spouse, try not to tell her that you could never do it. Because I bet if there was a time in your life when you and your spouse had to be apart, you would be able to somehow do it too.

Know that military spouses are not strong because we are a special type of person, but that this life has made us that way.

Know that we want our spouse home every night just like you do. That we hate that they have to miss so much. That some days are harder than others and that we know that someday we won’t have to be apart anymore.

Instead of saying you could never do what a military spouse does, tell your military spouse friends that they are capable of making it through. Tell them that if they need to break down sometimes, that is okay and that you are there to listen whenever they need to talk. Be their friend, give them hugs, and know that life brings each of us challenges and that this one is one of theirs.

Of Bubble Baths and Deployment Days

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I remember the day…so long ago now. It was the middle of my husband’s 1st deployment to Iraq. I was in Germany with my baby and two-year-old.

I can’t tell you why this one day was so hard. I just remember it being so. I remember being way too stressed out about everything I had to do.

Take care of the baby, take the preschooler to school, go to the Commissary, clean the house, worry about my husband, put the baby down for a nap, wake the baby up to get the preschooler, take him to the park to get his energy out, and figure out how to get through the day.

It was probably late afternoon and I was struggling. But I just had to push through. I just had to get to bedtime.

Back then I would start dinner at 4:30. I know that seems early but I had to get these kids going on a bedtime routine. As soon as I made it to 4:30, I felt like I had accomplished something, another deployment day was ending.

On this particular day, getting to that 4:30 time seemed extra difficult, but I had a plan. Dinner, get the boys ready for bed, get them to bed, and then…me time!

I needed this me time so bad. Especially on this day.

Me time is so important to me, and I need it. Over the years, how I found that me time has changed.

These days, with two teenagers and a 9-year-old, I can do a lot more. I can leave my oldest in charge and go anywhere I want to go. Target, the movies, out to eat, or to see a friend. I have a lot more freedom, even when my husband is gone.

Back then, in that little apartment in Schweinfurt Germany, things were quite different. I had to find small windows to find that me time, all within the walls of my home.

A bubble bath with a good book became my saving grace. There was just something about running the water, adding the soap, and climbing in after a long day with the boys that gave me hope. There is something about water that just relaxes me and helps me stay focused.

Finding that time to myself, even with sleeping children in the next room, was a must. During so much of that deployment, I found myself in survival mode, just trying to get through. But that me time allowed me to start to thrive a bit, if only for an hour or two.

Years later, I still use a bubble bath to help me relax. Even if my husband is home, and I am not dealing with toddlers anymore. I find the water to be healing and a great way to let out the stress of the day.

If you feel like you are in a place where going out of your house for me time is close to impossible, see what you can do at home. There must be something or some way for you to find that time for yourself, even if it is just for an hour, even for just 10 minutes.

And if it is hard to find that time, know it won’t always be that way. If your spouse is deployed, it can seem like you have neverending days of being the only parent in the house, the only one who can help the kids, the only one who can be in charge. But deployments eventually end, time moves on, and you will be in a different season of your life.

How do you like to find me time? What works when your spouse is deployed and it is harder to find?

Let Brave Crate Get You Through A Deployment

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Let Brave Crate Get You Through A Deployment

I was provided a free box for review! 

When you are going through a deployment, you have to take the time to relax and breathe; you have to. If you don’t, you will go crazy. And although this can be hard to do, especially if you are in the midst of solo parenting or a busy schedule, making time for you is important.

There is a brand new box, just for military spouses going through a deployment! I got the chance to review a box, and I have to say, this military spouse monthly box is pretty cool.

Brave Crate is a deployment “care” package for military spouses that is launching this spring! Each month you can receive 4-6 full sized products that have been specifically selected to help you stay productive and positive in the upcoming months of deployment.

Brave Crate includes tools and treats to help motivated military spouses focus on personal development, wellness and growing their marriage. They also like to call Brave Crate a deployment “dare” package- because along with the goodies inside, each Brave Crate includes carefully crafted challenges to help motivated military spouses make the most of every day during deployment.

So not only is this box a wonderful thing to have every month, but this monthly box will also give you something to focus on. This can be so helpful during a deployment when you are feeling a little lost and are unsure of what you can do to refocus.

Here is what I got in my Brave Crate: 

Let Brave Crate Get You Through A Deployment

The whole box! How fun to get this in the mail during a deployment!

 

Let Brave Crate Get You Through A Deployment

Mural of Flavor by Penzeys Spices!

 

Let Brave Crate Get You Through A Deployment

My dare 🙂

 

Let Brave Crate Get You Through A Deployment

How Many Days Can Be Extraordinary? A book by Dan Zadra to help inspire us!

 

Let Brave Crate Get You Through A Deployment

Good Earth: Sweet & Spicy Good Night Tea

 

Let Brave Crate Get You Through A Deployment

Turmeric & Tangerine Face Scrub

 

Let Brave Crate Get You Through A Deployment

Vice Lipstick Limited by Urban Decay

 

Let Brave Crate Get You Through A Deployment

A chocolate treat from chuao chocolate

Please head over to www.bravecrates.com where you can get invited to their launch. This means that you will be the first to know when they open for orders and get the best deal EVER on a Brave Crate. You can also like them on Facebook! 

6 Reasons Why Deployments Can Be So Difficult With Small Children

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6 Reasons Why Deployments Can Be So Difficult With Small Children

Deployments with children are all I have ever known. When my husband joined the Army, we had a 13-month-old. My husband left for Germany, and we stayed behind waiting for our Command Sponsorship. This pushed me right into the solo parenting role and one I never expected I would be in.

Deployment

 

Over the years, I have been through four deployments as well as plenty of other separations where I had to parent alone. I have always felt this was a bit of a deployment weakness for me. Being both mom and dad is hard, and when you have to do it over and over again, it wears on you.

There are many reasons why a deployment can be so difficult. They vary based on each person, their situation, and what they are currently going through. A spouse suffering from depression is going to have a different type of challenge during a deployment than a spouse who isn’t. But that doesn’t mean the second spouse isn’t fighting their own battles.

Here are six reasons why deployments can be so difficult with small children:

You do bedtime, every night

Every night you are the only one putting your kids to bed. You do all of the bedtime routines. You read all of the stories. You always get the last drink and last snack. It is all you. There isn’t anyone else who is going to be coming home after work that you can split the job with.

Over the months, this can start to get to you. You daydream about your spouse being able to do bedtime, to give you that break. You swear that you will never take that for granted again. And you put plans into place to help you during those hectic nighttime hours with your children.

deployments with children

You have to find a babysitter for everything

When my husband was home, he could always be there with the kids if I had somewhere to go during the weekends. If I had a ladies, night, I just needed to let him know. If friends wanted to meet for lunch on a Saturday, I would just let him know of my plans. If I wanted to run to the store for three items, I could do so without my children.

Once my husband left, that became an issue. If I wanted to do any of those things, I had to find a babysitter. Luckily I was able to find friends to help, I was able to use hourly care, and was able to find other ways to have someone watch my children when I needed to be somewhere, most of the time.

You have to take them all with you to shop

Shopping with all of your children can be very stressful. During deployments, you most likely have to take all of your kids with you to shop, at least some of the time. If you have children in a preschool program or can use hourly care, that can be the perfect time to do your shopping.

If you do need to take them all with you, make sure you do go over the rules and try to make the experience as easy as you can. Doing things like using a sling for a baby and put the toddler in the front of the cart so that you can free up space for the food you need can help you have a better experience. In the past, I have also traded babysitting with a friend so that we could both get our grocery shopping done quickly and without our kids.

Your children miss their parent too

While you are missing your spouse, your kids are missing their mom and dad, and when that happens, you might not know what to do to help them. Sometimes all you can do is hold them while they cry and let them know that the other parent is missing them too. Tools such as Daddy Dolls and having your spouse read books over video to them can help children during a deployment.

Know that different children will handle deployments differently, even within the same family. You might have one child who seems to take it all in stride and another who breaks down over the deployment every day. Figure out what will work for each child and do your best to remind them that the both you and the deployed parent love them very much.

Deployments

Your spouse misses out on milestones

Whether it is your daughter taking her first steps or your son learning to talk, having your spouse miss milestones can be difficult. You can take photos and videos to share, but that isn’t the same. The best thing you can do is to write down when they things happen and share with your spouse and know that they will be home to experience other milestones in the future.

Things can be weird when they come back

When your spouse does get home from a deployment, parenting together can be strong. If your spouse left a 6-month-old who was barely starting to crawl and then comes home to an active toddler, things can be a little overwhelming for them. Even more than that, you probably have developed your routines and the way you do things with your child.

The best thing to do is talk about what life will be like for your children after they get back. You can go over expectations and the little details of having a child the age that you do before they come home. See if it would help your spouse to have you write out your regular schedule but also make room for them to add their way of parenting to your routines.

You should see eye to eye on the big parenting topics, but it is okay to do things a little differently when it comes to parenting your children. This naturally happens when both spouses are home as the child grows but can seem weird when one has been away for a long time.

When it comes to deployments and small children, you do the best that you can, you live each day as fully as you can, and you count down to the days when your solo parenting will come to an end.

What are your best tips for raising small children during a deployment?

Don’t Get Sucked Into the Deployment Hole

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Don’t Get Sucked Into the Deployment Hole

I was in several long distance relationships when I was in college. I can remember so clearly how hard they were. I wasn’t married, but I missed my boyfriend very much. So much so that I felt split down the middle. Half of me was with him, and the other half was trying to live that normal college life.

Don't Get Sucked Into the Deployment Hole

 

This was in the day before everyone had a cell phone so I would have to wait in my dorm room for him to call. I couldn’t just go out and do something else unless I wanted to miss talking with him. Plenty of times I had to tell my roommate to go to lunch or dinner without me, and I would catch up later.

This wasn’t a good way to live. I got fatigued with feeling so torn all the time. I wanted to continue the relationship as my boyfriend was important to me, but at the same time, I wanted to be free to make friends and have fun in my college life.

As a military spouse, I sometimes still feel this pull although it is a bit different these days. My husband and I have been married for almost 15 years, and I know where I stand with him. I don’t have the worries that I did as a girlfriend.

 

And although I miss him terribly, I also want to live my life when he is gone. I want to have fun with friends and my kids. I want to make memories. I don’t want to be stuck in the in between. I don’t want to be stuck in a deployment hole.

You know the one, where everything sucks and you feel sad all the time. Where you can’t seem to live your life the way you want, and you feel so helpless that nothing will be right again until they come home.

Military Spouse Life

So why do I do to help with this? How do I avoid falling into that deployment hole?

Make plans

Make plans. Get out there and fill up your calendar. You will be glad you did. If you do not have any children at home with you, this is even more important. You don’t want to fall into that deployment loneliness hole by being by yourself too much. Join a club, find a friend to get together with, go for walks, see a movie, just keep busy while they are gone.

Don’t wait for calls

Don’t plan your days around when they might call. Even though we all have cell phones these days, you still might want to stay home for a Facetime chat. Don’t. Don’t be afraid to get out there. I know how hard it can be when you miss a call or don’t get a chance to talk, but when you plan your schedule around possible calls, that can lead to being sucked right into that deployment hole.

Don’t be afraid to have fun

It’s okay to laugh, make jokes, and have fun when your spouse is away. Don’t feel guilty when you do. They wouldn’t want you stuck at home all day being sad. Don’t be afraid to stay busy as it is the best way to make it through a deployment.

Don't Get Sucked Into the Deployment Hole

Don’t talk every day

I know, I know. Talking every day is ideal, right? Not totally. I know for me I prefer talking once every two to three days. That is the perfect amount of time for me. I have found that talking every day is just too much. You run out of things to say and if you get used to that and they can’t call for a few days or even longer, it’s even harder to wait. Not that I would turn down a phone call but talk to your spouse about phone call expectations.

Try new things

Deployments can be the right time to try something new. A new hobby, a new job, or just work on bettering yourself. A lot of military spouses work on fitness goals or go back to school. Make a list of what you have always wanted to do and put your plans into action.

What do you do when you feel like you are getting sucked down that deployment hole?

Here are some more posts about deployments:

Yes You Can Handle Life Without Your Spouse, Even If You Don’t Want To

12 Things You Must Do As Soon As Your Spouse Deploys

Going Down the Long Deployment Road

The Weight of Multiple Deployments

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The Weight of Multiple Deployments

In 2013 my husband left for his 4th deployment. I didn’t want him to go. I really didn’t want him to go.

He left for his 1st deployment in 2006 and the longest break he had had from deployments was just short of 2 years. I felt like he was always gone or leaving or getting ready to leave. He deployed 1 year after he returned home from his long 15-month deployment.

That was definitely not enough time at home. I felt like after 15 months they should have been home for at least as long as that, if not double that in order to really have time to heal and get ready to go again. We were not that lucky.

To prepare for a deployment, there has to be a lot of training that happens. So basically, he got home, we had block leave and then they started to prepare for the next deployment. Multiple long deployments can take a lot from families and the soldiers themselves.

Our family really felt this as we said goodbye again for another year apart.

These days, my husband is usually home which feels so strange to me after so many years when he wasn’t. So many years of wondering if he would be there for the next Christmas or birthday. Years of being the only adult in the house and then having to figure out how to let him back into our routines.

As I look back at our deployments, I know they have made me a stronger person than I otherwise would have been. I have made friends that became like family because of them. I sometimes wonder what my life would look like had my husband never joined the Army, never been away from us.

And I can’t imagine it.

I can’t imagine what life would have been like had he been home for everything during those years. Our story didn’t go that way.

Now that we are past the rapid deployment stage, I can’t help but think of the weight of multiple deployments and what they can mean to military families.

Sometimes the marriage doesn’t survive. Sometimes the marriage does but both of you become different people, with so many challenges ahead. You change, they change, the family changes.

During deployments, you will have to change the way you think about everything. You will have to let things go. You will realize that what you assumed your life would be is going to be something completely different.

When you go through multiple deployments you will look back at your “survival” days.

Those survival days when you couldn’t help but wonder how you will make it through. When you can only do the minimum. When you take the deployment day by day, or hour by hour.

When everything is calm, you will wonder what bothered you so much that you couldn’t do all those extra things you liked to do. You will wonder why you were so anxious and possibly why those days were so hard. And then you remember.

You remember the lonely nights, the days on the calendar that would not pass quick enough and the possibility that sat in your heart that your spouse might not even make it home after all.

When you go through multiple deployments you will become stronger.

You have to. Anytime someone goes through something difficult, they get through the ordeal, stronger than they were before. This will help you in the future as you can be a listening ear to someone going through that issue themselves.

You can have compassion for those who are having a harder time and can prepare for any future struggles that might be ahead. You can also help your spouse through the coming years, no matter how many deployments are ahead.

Service members can come back from deployment with so many wounds. Some might be visible and some might not be. Being there for your spouse in any way you can is important.

Knowing when there is a bigger problem than even you can’t handle is also important. Getting help is a must and being patient will be your best friend through it all. Remember, you don’t have to go through all of this alone.

You will feel the weight of multiple deployments and will have to figure out how to move forward from them…

War is rough. Deployments are rough. Even years later you might still feel the weight of them all. Get the help that you need and remember military spouse, you are strong and you can get through this, even if it is one day at a time.

Have you been through multiple deployments? How have you dealt with the weight of those years?

31 Things To Do When You Are In A Deployment Funk

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31 Things To Do When You Are In A Deployment Funk31 Things To Do When You Are In A Deployment Funk

There comes a time in everyone’s deployment when you just hit a funk. Homecoming seems too far away, there is nothing to look forward to, you are stuck and not sure how you are going to make it through the next few months. You wake up sad, you go to bed sad, how to break out of this? Here are some ideas…

1.Plan something with some friends- Plan a night out or a lunch or something you can put on your calendar. Make plans. Let your friends know you want to make more plans now that your spouse is gone.

2. Start a best-selling, can’t put it down book- You will enjoy yourself and get lost in the characters.

3. Find a new tv series to lose yourself in- Like books, if you start a new series, you can have something to watch to get your mind off of the deployment, at least for a little while. Binge watching was made for deployments.

4. Make some weight loss goals- Want to work on you? Make some new weight loss goals. Losing weight was always easier for me when my husband was gone. A great time to work on myself.

5. Learn how to cook a new meal- A deployment can be a good time to learn new skills. Learning how to cook a new meal means you will expand what you can make. You can also do this with friends.

6. Sign up for a fun class- See what is available on post or in your community. A lot of places have classes you can take on anything from how to do your taxes to how to decorate a cake. This is also a great way to make some new friends. You can sign up for a one-time class or an on-going one.

7. Go on a USO or MWR trip- Depending on where you are stationed you might have some great opportunities you can take advantage of. In Germany, there were a lot of USO tours we could go on. Here in the states, MWR seems to have certain day trips you can sign up for too.

8. Plan a trip home- If things get really hard, plan a trip back home. Maybe just for a weekend. Doing so will give you something to look forward to.

9. Start a book- Have you ever had an idea for a book going on in your head? Want to get started? Maybe you just want to write about the deployment. Get started on something. NaNoWriMo is coming up in November and can be a great way to get started.

10. Take up a new skill, like photography- Learning a new skill is a great way to get out of your deployment funk. You can go back to an older hobby or try something new. Look online and at your local library to get started.

11. Commit to writing in a journal- I love writing in a journal. Doing so can be a helpful way to get all of your feelings out on paper. Get in the habit of writing in yours every day.

12. Work on a fun care package- Is there a holiday coming up? Plan a themed care package and send to your spouse. Have fun with the care package and send some treats.

13. Talk to a good friend- Get together with a friend or call one. Talk about life. If you need to vent with them, it can make you feel better.

14. Volunteer for something new- Try to sign up to volunteer somewhere. Either on post or in your civilian community. There are a lot of opportunities out there.

15. Write poetry- Some people find writing poetry about your situation very helpful and soothing.

16. Move your furniture around- Sometimes changing things around in your home can help you break out of that deployment funk. Just don’t hurt your back in the process.

17. Go on a walk- Walks are good for you. Not only can they help you with your weight loss goals but they can be a great way to get out of your house and clear your head.

18. Meet someone for coffee- Meeting someone for coffee is an affordable way to connect with others. You don’t have to spend more than $5 and meeting someone regularly can be a great way to help with your deployment funk.

19. Listen to music- Create a deployment playlist. Put songs on there that make you feel good and make you feel strong. Listen to the playlist whenever you start to feel down.

20. Call your mom- If you have a good relationship with your mom, give her a call. She might not totally understand what you are going through unless she herself was a military spouse but she can be an encouraging listening ear.

21. Plan your after deployment trip- Talk to your spouse about an after deployment trip. Then you can start to plan it.

22. Buy a new outfit- Go shopping and buy something new. Remember to stick within your budget.

23. Buy your homecoming outfit- If you know about when homecoming will be, start shopping for your homecoming outfit. This can be a great way to get excited about the end of the deployment.

24. Take your kids out somewhere fun that you have never been before- Plan a day trip or even go somewhere for a few hours. Explore and have fun. If you are on a tight budget, visit a new park or hiking trail.

25. Attend a local event- Check both on post and off to see what is going on in your local community. Fill up your calendar. This will help with the feeling that you have nothing to look forward to.

26. Buy new stationary and write a long old-fashioned letter to your husband- These days most of us are all about Skype or email. Buy some new stationery and start writing letters to your spouse overseas.

27. Start a regular meetup group- If you know a group of other spouses and friends that want to do this, start making plans. You could plan to meet up at a park every Saturday morning or start a book club that meets once a month.

28. Get professional photos done of you or you and the kids, send to your spouse- This can be a great thing to send to your spouse and they will love the photos.

29. Research your next duty station- If you know you are PCSing soon after the deployment, start researching your next duty station. There is a lot of information out there online and you can get started with your planning.

30. Plan a Space-A trip- Space-A can be a great way to see some of the US or World that you haven’t seen. You do need to plan a Space-A trip. There is a lot more to it than just showing up the day you want to fly.

31. Remember, you are not alone- There are a lot of other military spouses going through the deployment funk too. Find other spouses who get it either in person or online (You can join my Facebook group if you are looking for that extra level of support.)

What do you do to get out of a deployment funk?