Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

Julie

Just Keep Swimming Military Spouse, Just Keep Swimming

by

Just Keep Swimming Military Spouse, Just Keep Swimming

I was on my high school swim team, all four years. I had a love/hate relationship with it. For most of my high school years, the practice was at 5:45 in the mornings. Diving into the pool that early in the morning was so tough most days. And then there was the workout.

We practiced for over an hour. Lap after lap after lap. Often we would be required to do 20 laps at a time. As anyone who works out on a regular basis knows, you have to figure out how to get to the end of your workout, and that isn’t easy.

After practice was over, I would climb out of the pool and feel amazing. We would shower, get dressed, and head to class, having already done our workout for the day.

Often during my husband’s deployments, I think back to my swim team experience. Swimming was difficult. I was not a super-fast swimmer naturally and even had a few Olympic swimmers on our team. We worked hard, all season long.

But just like a deployment, as good as climbing out of the pool felt, diving in to get started was so hard.

Even though I had done it before. During that pre-deployment period, there are so many fears.

Will it be as hard as I think it will be?

Will he come home to me?

Will he come home the same person?

As the date gets closer, everything becomes a lot more real. And that day you have to say goodbye for the deployment? Everything seems a bit surreal.

But then you dive in…

And just like I did in the pool so many years ago, you start your “swim.” You start your deployment; you start moving forward. Because you know you can’t stay on the side. You know you have to start. You know you have to dive in.

As you get going with your deployment, you will probably feel a wide range of emotions.

Some days are going to be difficult and others a little easier. You might go a few weeks feeling like you got this and then hit a period of time when you feel like you can’t. The important thing is to “just keep swimming.” You just have to keep going.

I would often try to think about all the things going on in my life while I was swimming my laps. I would try to think of all the things I wanted to do in the future. I used that time to focus on myself as my body did the work to get through my workout.

During deployment, I use that time to work on myself. To become a better person. To reflect on who I am and where I am going. To work through any struggles and power through.

As the deployment comes to a close, time can stand still at times.

The days don’t seem like they are moving. But when this happens, you just have to “keep swimming.” You just have to keep going to get to the finish line.

If you are in a season of deployment right now, remember to “just keep swimming.” That might look like making more plans with friends, going to visit family, or starting something new. Even if some of these things are on hold because of what is happening in the world right now. As the days go by, celebrate what you have accomplished.

I could give you a list of things to do to stay busy during a deployment, but in the end, your mindset is going to help you get through your deployment. You don’t have to be happy about the deployment or greet each day with joy, your spouse is gone, and that is a sad and difficult thing.

Reminding yourself to keep going, that you can get through this, will go a long way in helping you do just that.

Just keep swimming military spouse, just keep swimming!

5 Memes For Military Spouses This Holiday Season

by

5 Memes For Military Spouses This Holiday Season

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa, and Season’s Greetings. We made it to the holidays, which feels a little weird. On one hand, the holidays are supposed to be magical, but it’s 2020, so…I guess we have to see how it plays out.

As much as I want things to instantly get better once the clock hits midnight on January 1st, I know, that things might not actually change all that much for us. I have hope that we won’t be dealing with another year of a pandemic, but I just don’t have any idea when our current situation will be over. Sigh. And that’s so hard to think about.

As military spouses, we know that military life doesn’t always have the best timing. There will be years when your spouse will be deployed over Christmas. There will be years when they are home. There will be years when you don’t even have a home as you are PCSing during the holidays, and there are years when you will be able to invite your family and celebrate in the way you want to.

I get commissions for purchases made through some of the links in this post.

Add in a global pandemic, and things feel even more off. Still, I hope the holidays can bring you a little bit of joy. I hope that you can smile at least some of the time. Here are 5 memes for military spouses to help:

8 Memes For Military Spouses This Holiday Season

or California, or pretty much anywhere that refuses to have a White Christmas…TN I am looking at you 😉

Sometimes we have to take a deployment day by day, or even hour by hour. Deployments aren’t easy, but remember….you got this!

I have so been that girl, many times. And it isn’t the Christmas I wanted, but it was the Christmas I got. But at least I had my books.

YES!!! Put that under the tree please 🙂

I don’t know about you, but when I am going through something difficult, knowing I am not the only one going through it helps.

Whatever you do this holiday season, I hope you are able to make memories with your family, start new traditions, and connect together, even over the miles. As you look ahead to the new year, know that you can find ways to make it through anything that comes your way.

How are you celebrating the holidays this year?

Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life Interview with Conrad Palmisano, Vietnam Veteran turned Hollywood Stuntman, as seen in the docu-series Faceplant on MillionStories.com

by

This past week, I had the privilege of interviewing Vietnam Veteran, Conrad Palmisano. After his time in the service, he went on to become a prolific Hollywood stuntman. Conrad is featured on the series, Faceplant.

Faceplant is a series that shares personal stories from people who discovered the value of failure in pursuit of their dreams. Hearing other people’s stories can be so encouraging, even if they have lived a life so different from our own. We can learn so much from other people if we take the time to listen.

Vietnam Veteran Conrad Palmisano

The Conrad Palmisano: From High School Dropout to Stuntman and Filmmaker episode follows Conrad, who has over 250 credits to his name. We hear about how dealing with being bullied as a young child, the Vietnam War, and the Marine Corps prepared him for future career challenges.

Watch my interview with Conrad as he talks more about his life including some of his favorite jobs as a stuntman, how one decision can totally change your life and lead to better things, and some amazing advice for all of us.

You can check out Conrad’s story and many others in the docu-series Faceplant on MillionStories.com

That Breast Pump Might Just Change Your Life

by Leave a Comment

That Breast Pump Might Just Change Your Life

This is a sponsored post!

When I had my 3rd little boy, my older two were around 4 and 6 years old. And they were active little boys! Having only two hands, adding that third baby was a bit of a balancing act.

I had one boy in elementary school, one in preschool, and a new baby. I remember that I would sit and use my breast pump in my room, having to be plugged in and sitting down to do so. This meant that I had to make sure my other two boys were safe and entertained elsewhere.

My “baby” is now almost 10 years old, and things have gotten even better for breastfeeding moms. For one thing, you can now get a free breast pump from TRICARE.

That’s right! This is a benefit for all military spouses and military moms.

How does it work?

  • TRICARE will give one breast pump out per “birth event.” What is a birth event? Either a pregnancy, or an adoption of an infant with plans to breastfeed.
  • This is true for any TRICARE plan, from active duty to National Guard.
  • You can get your breast pump in a few different ways, including from a civilian stateside or overseas retail store, or an online store.

The Breastfeeding Shop is one of the best places you can go to get your TRICARE benefit breast pump.

In addition to this TRICARE added benefit, there are now more choices when it comes to what breast pump you want to get, including wearable and wireless pumps.

With a wearable breast pump, you can more easily multitask, not be stuck pumping in one location by an outlet, and you can quite literally pump on the go.

Interested in a wearable breast pump? The Breastfeeding Shop can help you out with that.

The Elvie, Freemie, and Willow are popular wearable pumps. Right now, the Breastfeeding Shop has the Elvie and Freemie avaliable. Here are a little about both:

The Freemie- This pump offers hospital power suction, in a hands-free double pump. The pump is small, quiet, and you can wear the pump under your bra. There is a rechargeable battery and has super light cups so you don’t always have to use a bag. This pump would be $0 out-of-pocket with your TRICARE benefit.

The Elvie-This pump is an amazing wearable pump that fits into your bra. The pump is practically silent, includes custom fitting breast shields, and has 7 settings for suction. This pump does have an up-charge as TRICARE doesn’t pay 100% for luxury pumps, however, the Breastfeeding Shop will have the lowest out-of-pocket costs for this type of pump.

The Breastfeeding Shop also carries plenty of other types of pumps if you are not interested in a wearable one. Sometimes it is best to go with a more traditional pump if breastfeeding is new for you and/or this is your first baby.

A wearable pump can be fun and convenient for moms that would like to have that flexibility. However, the wearables are limited with their size flanges available. So if you do need a specific size flange – they might not have it. That is something to keep in mind when making your decision on what type of breast pump you want to get.

If you take a look at the Breastfeeding Shop’s website, you can see they have a comparison chart of the different types of pumps. When you are ready to move forward, you can fill out their online form to get your pump. You will need to have a prescription from a TRICARE-authorized doctor, physician assistant, nurse practitioner, or nurse-midwife.

I love that this is a TRICARE benefit, as I know being able to have access to a breast pump is very helpful for so many moms. Head on over to the Breastfeeding Shop and enjoy your new pump!

Can Anyone Really Make it as a Military Spouse?

by

I get commissions for purchases made through some of the links in this post.

Can anyone really be a military spouse? Can anyone who marries someone who serves figure out a way to make this work?

I have often believed that no matter who you are, where you came from, as long as you love your service member, you can get through anything. When my civilian friends tell me they could never do what I do, I want to tell them they could if they had married a service member too.

There have even been times in the past, before my husband joined the military when I didn’t think I could do it either.

When most people get married, they assume they will be married until death do us part. Who wants to go into a marriage with divorce as the goal? But the truth is, not all marriages last, and not all marriages can survive the military.

Can anyone make it as a military spouse? That depends.

Some people can get through anything the military life brings them. This should be the goal. Working through stressful situations, working on their marriage, and trying to figure out a way to get through it all.

Some military spouses married their service member years before they joined up. In these cases, life gets thrown entirely on its head when they join. Everything changes and that can be such an adjustment for the service member, military spouse, and children.

For others, marrying the love of their life meant becoming a military spouse on their wedding day, unsure of the adventures, or struggles they might run into in the future. Their new marriage is thrown together with the newness of military life.

In either case, the military spouse can feel like their world is falling apart, that they can’t make it through that deployment, that they are not quite cut out for this life.

I have felt this way myself. I would get to a place where I just didn’t see how I could keep doing this. Where everything was a little too much. Where I didn’t want to do the military life anymore.

But then, I remembered that I did indeed marry a soldier, even if he wasn’t actively serving at the time. I reminded myself that this is a part of who my husband is and that in the end, I can stand by him through whatever I need to. That my love for him and my want for us to be together will be more important than any lonely night or hardship the military comes my way.

That being said, this isn’t the case for everyone.

For some, this life isn’t something they can keep doing. They hit a wall for whatever reason. Sometimes they hit this wall because there has been betrayal in the marriage. Can you truly trust someone across the miles when they have cheated before? Sometimes there is abuse, or the couple cannot work out their difficulties.

The truth is, we don’t always know what other people are going through, we don’t know what happens in their marriage, and we don’t know what they have been through in the past. Compassion is a must.

While going into this life believing you can make it through is a must, know that if you were not able to, that if things did get too difficult, that if you are no longer a military spouse, that you have a right to do what is best for you.

That you did what you could, and that no one should be judging you for doing what is best for your own family. We are all our own people, and we have to make the choices that work for us.

What do you think? Can anyone make it as a military spouse?

The Best Deals For This National Guard Military Spouse

by Leave a Comment

The Best Deals For This National Guard Military Spouse

This post contains affiliate links!

Christmas is just around the corner, well almost…and speaking of Christmas, it’s October so I really should be thinking about Christmas shopping.

But…I have TWO boys with birthdays before then to think about too. We definitely have a “birthday season” in this house. My husband starts us off in September, then my three boys have birthdays, then Christmas, then mine in January.

We have cake almost every month so I can’t complain!

But back to Christmas shopping. I wanted to share some of the deals I have found that I find interesting. I will keep this page updated throughout the whole holiday, and in our case, (birthday season).

A few things I will be keeping an eye out for are books, OF COURSE! Legos, video games, stuff for the home, decorations, and comfy clothing. I can not under any circumstances buy another blanket. I have gone blanket crazy the last few months, so we are good there. But maybe some new sheets???

So here you go, here are the best deals for this national guard military spouse. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do:

Amazon

We LOVE Legos in this house and this one will be perfect for my almost 10 year old!

Wondering if you should get a Kindle Paperwhite? YES, you totally should. They are 110% worth it if you want an E-reader. I have had one for years and love them so much. Plus, the newest one is waterproof 🙂

These kits are so much for kids who love science and crafting. I am going to get at least one for my almost 10 year’s birthday!

I’m not saying you need an Instant Pot, but I am saying that if you get one you will probably wonder what took you so long to get one. We use ours all the time, from chicken dishes to rice to hard-boiled eggs. There is so much you can do with an Instant Pot.

Have YOU found any amazing deals lately???

This is Your Military Life

by

“I could re-join the Army,” he told me one day. We had been trying to figure out what he should do career-wise. What change he should make.

“Hmm…I don’t know about that,” I told him. “I’m not sure about that, we have a kid now.”

Back then, I couldn’t imagine a reality where I was home with my son and my husband was far away for months at a time. It just didn’t seem real. That type of life didn’t seem possible.

I laugh about that now. I think about all the solo parenting I have done over the years and what I thought was impossible, was very possible.

And that is one of the biggest things about military life. One of the biggest lessons you will learn. That you can do what you thought you couldn’t.

Maybe you will PCS overseas by yourself with a toddler, never having imagined that your first flight to Europe would look like that.

Maybe you will go through your first deployment in a brand new state, one you never thought you would ever visit, let alone live in, so many miles from home.

Maybe you will encounter the most difficult of days, and get through to the other side, wondering where you found the strength.

I strongly believe that through everything you go through as a military spouse, there will be a lesson there. Lessons you might not see right away. Lessons that might take some time to understand.

As hard as the deployments might be, you find ways to get through them. One day at a time.

You find your people, even if that takes longer than you would like. Even if that means having to say goodbye later on. You find people who will become your best friends, and you can go through this life together, even if you are miles away.

Even after 15 years, I still have my super frustrating days with the military. This summer, trips were canceled because of Guard duties. I kept trying to tell myself that this was all apart of this life, but doing that is easier said than done.

In between deployments, with no moves on the horizon, life can be pretty “normal” sometimes. You can get so used to military life just going along with your own life, without too many hiccups.

Your spouse gets home at a regular time, you enjoy the weekends together, and life just goes on. And then…orders come, or you hear rumors of deployments, and you are reminded that this is a military life. That you are a military family.

There is so much deployment advice out there. From staying busy to making friends, to trying not to sweat the small stuff. Sometimes all of that will work, and other times it won’t.

You might find yourself struggling more than everyone else. You might find yourself wondering how you can get through the next week of deployment, let alone the six months you have left. You can find yourself wishing for another type of life.

I get inspired by seasoned spouses. Those who have been doing this even longer than I have. They have so much wisdom for those of us in the weeds.

They have been there, pcsing with small children, back to back deployments, and always having to say goodbye to people they care about.

They have been there and can comfort and support when you are feeling down or unsure how the future will go.

Not everyone’s military journey looks the same. We all will go down different paths. But the military community is here for each other.

While not everyone you meet during this life will be supportive, I assure you most of us will be. We can lend a helping hand or a listening ear. We can tell you what worked for us, and what didn’t. And we can help each other through.

No matter how long you have been a military spouse, no matter how many deployments you have to go through or how many PCS moves you will make, remember, this is your military life.

This is the path you are on and you are stronger than you realize. You might not always feel that way, I certainly don’t, but time will show you that you are. The military life isn’t always easy, but it’s yours. Every step of the way.

How Deployments May Change You For the Better

by 2 Comments

How Deployments May Change You For the Better

I have been forever changed by the years my husband has either been deployed or has been away from us. I am a different person because of them.

They are my past and will always impact my future. They have changed the way I parent, how I make friends, and will influence the choices I will make in the future.

Looking back I tend to cringe when I remember all the bad. The hard nights, the sad nights, the rough days, the breakdowns, and all of that. But if I really look into it, I know I have learned and grown as a person because of them. I know that in some ways, deployments have changed me for the better.

Gaining that independence

As much as I hate having to take care of the house all by myself when my husband is gone, as much as I hate having to be the only one making certain decisions, it has made me into a more independent person.

I have had to become one. I had no other choice. This isn’t to say I never feel like I need my husband because I do, just that I know I can do things on my own if I need to. It is a little freeing. And a little scary.

I can sympathize more with others

If I hear someone else is getting ready to send their spouse off to war, I can totally sympathize with that. I can be a listening ear, someone to talk to about the separation, and I truly understand how hard it can be to say goodbye.

I get deployment life and I can help someone else get through it. I have experienced different types of deployments too. I have been through long ones and short ones. Scary ones and more mild ones. I get that part of military life and I can offer support to others who might need it.

I am not going to take my husband for granted

I am not going to wish him away. I am going to enjoy the moments together. I will remember how hard it was to live without him. To spend over a year without him in our home.

I am going to try hard to always remember that. But doing so isn’t always easy. When my husband went away for his two-week training with the National Guard, the time apart felt close to impossible. I really had to give myself a talking to. I have gone so much longer without talking to him, I should be able to handle this.

I am more adaptable

Over the years I have found that what works for me during deployments or time apart, might not work for everyone. Staying busy helps me get through a separation, but that isn’t always an easy thing to do. And for some, just trying to do so is a big struggle.

Everyone’s situation is different so not everything is going to work for every military spouse. I have different needs now in my 40s with older kids than when I went through my first deployment in my 20s with babies.

You live and you learn in this life, and things are always changing. The key is to finding what works for you during your current deployment and always trying to find new ways to get through.

What about you? What have deployments changed about you???