Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

Julie

19 Memes that Explain What PCSing is Really Like

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19 Memes that Explain What PCSing is Really Like

19 Memes that Explain What PCSing is Really Like

Have you been through a PCS this year? PCS stands for “Permanent Change of Station” and happens when someone in the military has received orders for a new location. Pcsing is a process and one that can bring on a lot of stress.

There is always so much to do during a PCS. You have to prepare for the movers to come or start packing if you are going to do that part of the move yourself. You will have to get certain papers signed and filled out. Your service member will have to do certain things around your current duty station. You will have to find a new place to live, sometimes with getting to see what is there in person.

Then there is the emotional side to pcsing. Saying goodbye to your home, your friends and watching your children do the same. Pcsing can be difficult, for both you and your children. PCSing can also be a great thing, especially if you are excited about your new duty station.

Here are some memes that understand the experience…

pcsing

Sometimes it is hard to know what PCS really stands for. I think both of these could apply.

PCSING

You might not get a say with where you go next, but it can be fun to dream. If only the military could give us exactly what we wanted in a new duty station.

Pcsing

Military life means moving often. Although some military families buy houses, we did, not all feel like they should. They are waiting until after military life to find their forever home.

PCSing

Yes! You will have memories no matter where you go. You will treasure them. It doesn’t matter how many duty stations you end up at, you will always remember certain people and the fun you had at each location.

Pcsing

Yep! I have 3 kids and they were all born in different places. Life of a military family.

Hurry up and wait

PCSing means waiting on orders and other paperwork. Hurry up and wait. Get it all done and then have to wait longer than you think you should.

Military Children

Being in a military family means having to go to a lot of different schools. Sometimes that is a good thing, sometimes it isn’t.

pcsing

So many things on your PCS to-do list but saying goodbye to your friends is the hardest thing you will have to do.

Pcsing

If you are a military spouse for a longer period of time, you might have to pcsing with a toddler, or a teen. I am not sure what would be harder to do?

memes-92

I don’t like saying goodbye, I would rather say see you later…

PCSing

Seriously! Your PCS could be delayed because people went on vacation or had a sick day.

Pcsing

What have you been saving for a future home?

pcsing

Yes, we say we are not going to stress but then we do. Oh well!

Pcsing

The Army doesn’t have a lot of beach choices…sigh.

Military Life

I love that as a military spouse I have met so many people from all over the US and the World.

Pcsing

Yes, just remember that at the end of the PCS is a new home, new friends, and new memories to be made.

Military Life

The military will drive you nuts when you are waiting for something to happen. Whether it is a PCS or a deployment coming to an end.

Pcsing Overseas

Yep! You wait forever and then boom, things happen and they happen fast. The next thing you know you are on an airplane waving goodbye to your former home.

Pcsing

Home is where the military sends you. What does your list look like? This is ours 🙂

What You Should Know About Getting Through the Pre-Deployment Period

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Before They Leave For a Deployment 

I had only been a military spouse for about 10 months when my husband left on his first deployment. 4.5 of those months were spent in the US while he waited for me and my son in Germany. I wasn’t surprised about him deploying, he was in the Army, deployments were apart of the deal.

I just didn’t totally know what to expect. It was one thing to be apart from your husband when he was on a military post in Germany, waiting to join him, quite another when he would be in a war zone in Iraq.

We did have a few months to prepare for the deployment. I arrived in Germany at the end of March and already we knew a deployment was going to happen. At that time we didn’t know the exact dates but that yes, a deployment was coming. By the summer we had a much better idea of when they would be leaving and us wives started to band together knowing we would need one another to get through the long months ahead.

I remember the day clearly. My friend had come to visit from Austria and we were sitting around talking with my husband. The phone rang, which usually meant my parents were calling but not this time. This call was from someone in the Unit. They were letting me know that orders had been cut and that my husband would be officially deploying in exactly a month.

I got off the phone and took a deep breath. The deployment was really happening.

What You Should Know About Getting Through the Pre-Deployment Period

Even if you know that your spouse is going to deploy, accepting the reality of them leaving can be difficult.

There is so much to think about. Will they be safe? What will they be doing? What will I do when they are gone? What about the children?

The time leading up to your deployment might be very stressful and that is normal. There is a lot that needs to happen and a lot that you want to happen. For some, this means one more trip home, a special family photo, or one more trip to the zoo, your family’s favorite place to go together.

As a spouse, you are aware that every minute you have together is precious and that once they leave, you will no longer get to have them.

What can do you during those weeks and days before the deployment?

Here are some ideas:

Be Helpful

Your spouse is going to need your help. They might need you to not make so many plans on the weekends leading up to their deployment date. They might need you to scale back on certain things or they might need help getting all their gear together.

Make sure to ask and let your spouse know that you are there for what they might need. In return, make sure you are open and honest about what you need from them. Maybe you need more daily kisses, maybe you need to have more movie nights. Talk things out so that you both know what each other need in the time before the deployment begins.

Be Patient

Patience is going to help you during the pre-deployment period. A lot of military couples fight during this time because of the stress level. Try not to worry too much when you see them packing their bags. Enjoy the time you still have together and try not to rush those days away. Be patient about work schedules before the deployment.

Sometimes they do have to work late, even just a few days before they have to go. Other times they will get off early and even have days off. Just know that you may or may not have a lot of time together before the deployment and that can be up to the Command, not your spouse.

Be Understanding

Getting ready to leave your family to go do something you trained for isn’t easy. Even though your spouse has a job to do, they are going to miss you and everything about the life you had created together. The pre-deployment period can be hard for them and they might not know how to act.

The closer they are to you before they leave, the harder it can be for them to go. Service members and even military spouses pull away a bit before a deployment because of that. They don’t want to make the goodbye more painful than it already is.

Be understanding of this and try not to take certain things personally. Sometimes the behavior is just the deployment talking.

Make Memories

Spend the weeks before the deployment making a lot of memories. Plan a trip, go on a lot of day trips, take a lot of photos and spend a lot of family time together.

If you have small kids and you know finding a babysitter once he is gone will be difficult, plan some time out with your friends when your husband is still home to watch them. You will be glad you did when you are months into solo parenting after the deployment has started.

Prepare the Children

If you have kids and they are old enough to understand what your spouse will be doing, have some talks about what will be happening beforehand. With smaller children, you don’t have to tell them what is going to happen but make sure you are there for them when they do start to ask for the other parent.

You can get Daddy Dolls and put up photos of your spouse in their bedroom. You can make a book of photos that are safe for babies and older children might appreciate something similar as well.

Some of the hardest parts of a deployment can be when your children miss their mom or dad. That can break your heart but luckily there are a lot of resources out there to help you. Sesame Street has a great program for deployed children and there are many children’s books about deployment that you can buy to have on hand.

Keep in mind too that different children might react differently based on their ages and their personalities. As the deployment begins you will start to see what might bother them and what they might be okay with.

Have a few date nights

If you are able to, plan a few date nights before they have to leave. Go out and spend time together as a couple. Enjoy one another.

Talk about your expectations during the time you are going to be apart. Talk about what you will do if you hit a hard period during the deployment.

Have fun on your dates too. See a movie, take a walk, go bowling. Do fun things you know you might miss when they are away.

Find Your People

You are going to need to find your people to help you through a deployment. Your people can be the neighbors on your streets, the moms in your playgroup, or even a good Facebook group of others that understand.

For me, finding that FRG was a must for our first deployment. They were a great group of women and being that we were all stationed in Germany together we created a second family of people to connect with and spend the deployment with.

This isn’t always the case and wasn’t in later deployments. Sometimes I had a close best friend, and other times I just had to stay busy as much as I could, depending on emotional help from family and friends who lived far away. Each deployment is going to look a little different but you will want to find a few people you can depend on while your spouse is away.

Any military spouse who has gone through a deployment can tell you, the pre-deployment period is not going to be easy. There is a lot to be stressed and anxious about during this time. Do your best to get through those days and weeks and know that once the deployment starts, the countdown can begin.

Blog Posts On Deployment

Someones hearing someone else’s story is super helpful in getting through the pre-deployment or deployment period. Here are a few blog posts from both Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life and other military spouses to help you through:

So You Just Found Out You’re Pregnant, And Your Spouse is Deploying

For the MilSpouse Right in the Middle of a Deployment

Just Keep Swimming Military Spouse, Just Keep Swimming

The Emotional Cycle of Deployment: Pre-Deployment

15 Must-Do Things to Prepare for Deployment

5 Tough Conversations To Have BEFORE Deployment

Parent’s Guide to the Military Child During Deployment and Reunion

Pre-Deployment Checklist for Military Spouses

50+ Questions to Ask Your Spouse Before a Deployment

How do you prepare for a deployment?

PCSing Anytime Soon? These Companies, Organizations, and Resources Can Help

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Is there a PCS in your future? Is it time to start packing up boxes and getting on your way? Need some help with where to live at your next duty station?

A PCS can be a challenging season in your life. There is a lot to do, and not all of it is super clear. Back when we were PCSing overseas to Germany, there were so many steps that I felt my head was going to explode.

On the other end, it took almost a couple of months to feel even somewhat settled in my new home. Everything was so new and different from what I was used to. And it took some time to get to a place where I could breathe.

The good thing is that there are resources out there to help military spouses through a PCS. There are companies that will help you make decisions about where to live. There are companies that will help you figure out how to pack. There are companies to help you figure out how to decorate within the military community.

Like anything else in military life, we don’t have to go through a PCS alone. Here is a list of companies, organizations, and military spouses to help you during your next PCS:

PCS Resources

MilSpouseConversations OCONUS Talk

MilSpouseConversations had a great talk in March about PCSing overseas. This group of military spouses has been through quite a few overseas moves from Japan to Germany. MilSpouseConversations is about real raw, real topics, and real conversations with a group of military spouses with over 100 years of military spouse experience between them.

PCSgrades

Trying to decide on a neighborhood at your next duty station? Looking for a realtor? PCSgrades has reviews on many different off-post or on-post neighborhoods, real estate agents, mortgage lenders, moving companies, apartments, and schools.

Millie

Millie is also a great place to go for help before a PCS. Their Millie Scouts can be your boots on the ground, to help you review a future home when you can’t do so in person. They also have AgentHeroes who understand military life and can help you find a new home.

Permanent Change of Storing

Permanent Change of Storing is owned and founded by Navy wife, Christa Curtis. Permanent Change of Storing will help you with organizing your home, PCS prep, settling in, and more.

Military One Source

Military One Source offers PCS help too. You can connect with experts that can help you through your move, Plan My Move, which offers a tool that gives you customized lists and more, and MilitaryINSTALLATIONS which is the official DoD guide for military institutions worldwide.

Move.Mil

Move.Mil is the official DoD Moving Portal. Here you can find information and guidance for your move, where you can schedule your move, information about shipping your car, and even tips for settling in.

Military By Owner

This company provides advertising for selling a home near military installations as well as resources on different aspects of military life, real estate, and homeownership. They can also be a great place to look for a home either to rent or to buy.

At Ease Rentals

This company provides active duty and their families, DoD employees, military contractors, as well as federal employees with short-term rentals that are pre-approved to meet FTR (Federal Travel Regulation).

PCSing.com

At Pcsing.com, you can find a one-stop information resource for service members and their families that are going through a military move.

MilHousing Network

MilHousing Network connects military families with military real estate experts in the US. They also run the Facebook group, Things I Wish I Knew Before I PCS’d.

Moving House for the Military Spouse

Moving House for the Military Spouse is a Facebook page that shows real life photos from military housing.

AHRN

AHRN stands for the Automated Housing Referral Network is a website for members of the military who are searching for housing at a new duty station.

PCS Money

Need to know about PCS travel and relocation allowances or weight limits? You can find that information on the Defense Travel website.

BAH

Curious about BAH at your upcoming duty station, go here for the BAH calculator.

This post does contain some affiliate links!

PCS Themed Products

MilitaryPrintables

Looking for a PCS Binder Printable Kit? Check out MilitaryPrintables on Etsy.

Welcome to Rota: The Unofficial Guide to Getting Settled, and Enjoying the Culture, Food, and Travel Opportunities of Southern Spain

This book, written by fellow military spouse and writer, Lizann Lightfoot, is all about living in OCONUS in Rota, Spain.

Milly’s PCS Worries

This children’s book, written by Amy Rivera and illustrated by Dayanese A. Rodriguez, is about Izzy and Milly, whose dad is in the military and gets orders to PCS.

Olive Fox Paper Shop

Looking for cute PCS announcements? Olive Fox Paper Shop has some super cute choices.

Moving With the Military

Moving With the Military is a home improvement lifestyle series that celebrates military families with home makeovers.

Facebook Groups

In my own Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life Facebook group you can find a ton of posts based on duty stations both in the US and OCONUS. Just join the group, and do a search to see if your questions have already been asked about your future duty station.

PCS Like a Pro is an educational and supportive community for all things PCS related.

White Walls is a group to help with interior decor inspiration to make your military home feel like home.

Lost During My PCS is a group to help military families find missing items that they have lost during a PCS.

Military PCS With Pets is all about sharing information on how to PCS with pets.

Articles and Blog Posts About PCSing

5 Things to Do When You Get PCS Orders

PCS: Moving the Family Pet

Checklist for PCS Moves

The Ultimate PCS Guide to Packing Out – with Printables!

Bloom Where You Are Planted – 5 Things To Make A New House Feel Like Home

How to Buy and Sell a House at the Same Time

Tips for First-Time Military Homebuyers (and Mistakes to Avoid!)

50 Tips You NEED Before Your Next PCS Move

PCSing with an EFMP family member

Duty Station Guest Posts – Here at Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life you can find many different guest posts on duty stations both CONUS and OCONUS.

PCSing This Summer? These Relocation Tips Will Help!

PCSing can be such a big part of military life. Whether you are moving four hours or 3,000 miles away from your previous home. Luckily, there are many resources out there to help including the ones listed above. Good luck! And enjoy this part of military life.

For the MilSpouse Right in the Middle of a Deployment

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For the MilSpouse Right in the Middle of a Deployment

Getting used to a deployment can be pretty difficult and let’s face it, do you ever really get used to a deployment? Nah, not really, but something happens a few weeks or even months in. You get to a place where the deployment doesn’t feel as gut-wrenching. You might even feel that you have a handle on things.

You have a routine now. Wake up, make breakfast, get the kids to school, head to work, come home, make dinner, etc. You are now used to not having that extra person around the house. Sure, you still have bad deployment days, days when you are so sad and just want to cry into your pillow. But at the same time, you feel a bit stronger than you did when they first left. A little less heartbroken.

But then you hit a point, middle deployment. The time when they have been away for a while but you still have a ways to go. The time when you look at all you have gone through but still know you have such a long road until homecoming. You want to be stronger, you want to keep going but knowing you are not at the finish line can be hard to take.

What should you do? How can you keep going? How can you turn things around and get through the rest of the deployment?

Here are some ideas!

Work on a goal list

If you haven’t already started a deployment goal list, now is the time. What do you want to get done before the deployment is over? What projects do you think you can tackle over the next few months? What have you always wanted to do in life but never felt like there was time to do? A deployment goal list will allow you to focus, and get working on your goals, even those that will take longer than a deployment to complete.

Write more love letters

If you haven’t already, start writing your spouse love letters. Write more love letters than you used to. Pour out your heart to the man or woman you love. Buy new stationery, add fun stickers, look for silly or sexy rated cards.

There are quite a few fun ones out there. Make a plan to write once a week. Take photos to share. Send more care packages.

Throw a party

Throw a halfway party with some of the other spouses. Sometimes the FRG likes to do a 50 day or 100-day party. If not, throw one yourself.

Don’t like to cook? Make it a pot-luck. Is the weather nice? Have a picnic party. Do something to celebrate the time you have already gone through in this deployment.

During COVID, you could throw your party virtually! Plan a date for everyone to get on Zoom to celebrate. Get a drink and party in your PJs from your own home. And that might not be a bad idea for after COVID too.

Start a long book series

Being lost in a book is a great idea. Start a long book series and get to reading. This would be a great time to start Harry Potter if you haven’t yet or go ahead and read the books a second time. Some other ideas are The Southern Vampire Mysteries, the series True Blood was based on, or the Outlander series, my favorite.

Sign up for a new volunteer position

A lot of groups on posts are always looking for volunteers. You could also work in your child’s school, coach a sports team or look for places in your community that need a little help. If you have a lot of free time, pour yourself into something new. Doing so will make the days go by faster, helping others will be good for your soul and you might even make some new friends because of it.

Take a trip

If you can, go on a trip. That is one of the best ways to make it through that middle deployment period. If you don’t have kids, or even if you do, see if a friend wants to go with you. During our 2nd deployment, my friend and I planned a trip to Garmisch during the middle of the deployment. It was a lot of fun and we were able to get out and explore a bit even though our husbands were gone.

No matter how long your deployment is, you will probably hit this middle point and will feel like the deployment will last forever. Don’t worry, it won’t. You will get through these months and eventually you will be on your way to go pick up your spouse, with tears in your eyes and a smile on your face.

What has helped you get through this part of deployment?

Going Beyond OPSEC: Deployments in a Social Media World

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Social media can be great, but we need to be aware of something very important.

Going Beyond OPSEC: Deployments in a Social Media World

During our first deployment, we were all about Myspace. After spending time with friends, we would go home, put the kids to bed, upload our photos from the day and update our music list. 

These days, we are all about Facebook, Instagram, and even TikTok. 

Social media can be good for connecting with local friends, finding out information about FRG events, and sharing photos with our friends and family back home. We also can connect with our spouses on there through messenger or just respond to their statuses. I could always tell when my husband was really missing us back home because he would share a lot of our photos on his friend list.

Social media can be great, but we need to be aware of something very important.

There are certain topics we should not be posting about. Certain topics we need to wait on posting. We need to educate ourselves so that we are not breaking any OPSEC rules or getting anyone in trouble.

This not only refers to a “public” Facebook post but any Facebook post. Whether you are just sharing the info with your closest friends or in a Facebook group. We need to be aware of what is allowed and what isn’t.

When you first become a military spouse you might not know what is okay and what isn’t. You might get confused because you see certain things in the news or being posted by others and you are not sure why they can post those things and you can’t. You might get lost in all the details and can’t totally remember what is okay and what isn’t.

Never Exact Dates and Locations

The main thing to keep in mind is never ever post exact dates or exact locations. Never say when your spouse is supposed to come home. Never say where they are and it might even be a good idea to just stick with the general, “they are overseas” or “they are deployed.”

Some even say things like, “the place they go for a while” or “away on “business.” Some military spouses keep the whole deployment off social media altogether. You don’t have to do that but you do have to be smart about how you talk about the deployment.

Talking About Injuries or KIA

If someone in your spouse’s Company or Unit is KIA or injured you might be notified about it directly. If not, eventually, the news will make its way down the grapevine and you will hear what happened. DO NOT POST THIS ON SOCIAL MEDIA. At least not right away. There could be family members that have not heard the news.

There was a spouse who ended up hearing about her husband on social media because people posted about it. Can you even imagine? While the military will notify the family members ASAP, sometimes other people hear the news before they do and if you happen to hear too and share that news, doing so could end up ruining someone else’s life. The best rule of thumb is to wait until you hear from the family on social media or hear it being announced more publically.

Never What They Are Doing

I am a military spouse who doesn’t need to know the exact thing that her husband is doing when he is deployed or even away on training. I always have a general idea of what he does but I don’t need it broken down until after he gets home. If you do find out about what your spouse is doing, never share that on Facebook or other social media.

If that news gets out, it could ruin the mission. You never know who is watching, you never know who could take that information and use it against the US military. Keep that information to yourself. You should also never post about when your spouse is going to be moving to another base. This happens a lot and is pretty normal for a deployment so try not to get anxious about it either.

If You Are Not Sure

If you are not sure if what you want to post falls under OPSEC or PERSEC or is perfectly fine to post, feel free to ask someone who has been a military spouse for a while or simply not say that info publically. I know how excited we can get when our spouses are coming home or when we know when that day is going to be but we can’t share that information on social media.

A good rule is to only post things after the fact. Keep that information to yourself and then go nuts telling your Facebook friends all about your homecoming after your spouse is back home with you. That way you are not endangering the mission, causing a delay on homecoming, or leaking out information you shouldn’t be sharing with anyone. 

Do you ever get confused about OPSEC?

10 Gifts for the MilSpouse Book Lover

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I know many of you love to read like I do. There is nothing better than diving into a new book. So whether you have a gift card burning a hole in your pocket, or shopping for another milspouse friend or family member, here are 10 gifts for the MilSpouse Book Lover:

I get commissions for purchases made through some of the links in this post.

Book of the Month Subscription

I have been subscribing to Book of the Month for almost five years now, and I love it. Book of the Month is a book subscription service where each month you get to chose a hardback book from five selections. One of the things I love about the Book of the Month subscription is that if you don’t like any of the books on a certain month, you can easily skip. If you like more than one, you can add up to two add-ons. And after 12-months as a subscriber, you become a BFF with special perks. I LOVE being able to pick out a new book once a month. You can sign up here, and if you love books as I do, you will be glad you did 🙂

Bookmarks

I LOVE cute bookmarks. There are so many amazing creators out there, making bookmarks based on anything. From favorite books to favorite phrases. Just head on over to Etsy and see what you can find. I have ordered some cute bookmarks from BOOGandBEAN and BookmarksAndBites.

Bookish Socks

I love cute socks! And there are some super cute socks for book lovers out there. These Lavley Nerd Socks are SO fun!!!

Military Spouse Fiction

Are you a fan of military spouse fiction? Here are some authors that write about military spouse fiction or military life fiction:

A Kindle Paperwhite

I LOVE my Paperwhite. If you are going to get a Kindle to read on, the Paperwhite is the best choice. You won’t feel like you are reading on a computer or phone, which is so nice. The newest version is waterproof and I use the light every night when reading in bed.

A Kindle Paperwhite case

If you are going to get a new Kindle, you need a pretty new case. And there are many to choose from. Most of them are pretty affordable too. Just make sure the case you are buying fits your model of Kindle. I just bought myself this pretty one.

100 Books Scratch Off Poster

This is such a neat idea! The 100 Books Scratch Off Poster- Top Reads of All Time Bucket List. Put it on your wall, and once you read the book, scratch it off.

A Bookish Tee

What’s better than a bookish tee? There are so many to choose from. I love this “My Weekend is All Booked T Shirt.” It pretty much describes my life.

A Reading Journal

Tracking what you read can be a fun way to remember your reading year. And they make some amazing reading journals. For example, this Bibliophile Reader’s Journal by Jane Mount, with beautiful illustrations.

It’s Time For The Sixth Annual InDependent Wellness Summit

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I love going on walks. Back when my children could fit in a stroller, I loved to take them out and walk all over the place. When we were in Germany, during our first two deployments, I walked everywhere.

Just getting out for a bit, was helpful. But beyond on, the walks helped with my wellness and allowed me to get into shape. They helped with my anxiety and allowed me to really see Germany in a different light, not just from the windows of a car.

Walking allowed me to be out in nature, and to take a breather when life got stressful. And military life did quite stressful during those years. My husband ended up deploying for 15 months, with a year home, and then off for another year-long deployment. I had a new baby, that soon grew to a toddler as well as a young toddler that grew into a preschooler.

I look back on those years and know that the walking saved me. And in the moment, I didn’t even realize how helpful the walking really was. I didn’t even realize how much I was helping myself with my daily walks.

Wellness is so important to focus on during our military spouse life. Whether it is mental, physical, or emotional. This life can be filled with twists and turns, and being able to make time for ourselves is so important. Self-care, and taking care of our own bodies is so very important.

One way you can do so is by attending the sixth annual InDependent Wellness Summit! This will be virtual, from March 1-6th, 2021.

This summit will allow you to gain insight from 10 expert interviews encouraging you with actionable and practical ways to nourish, rest, and rejuvenate.

Registration is now open. General admission will be free but there is also an All-Access ticket avaliable. You can get 30% off of this ticket by registering through my link.

Do so here—>>> https://iws21bewell.eventbrite.com/?aff=swcl&discount=AMBIWS21

What do you get with an All-Access pass? You will receive an entry to a private Wellness Lounge, enjoy a virtual swag bag, and will be eligible to win exclusive giveaways!

Sign up today!

What Military Spouses Can Learn From Martin Luther King Jr.

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What Military Spouses Can Learn From Martin Luther King Jr.

Today is Martin Luther King Jr. day. A day to stop and remember this man, and what he stood for. A Day to stop and think about what his actions did to work towards the change that was so badly needed. A Day to serve and help others, to continue what he stood for.

Martin Luther King knew what freedom meant and that not everyone was being treated equally. He changed history for the better and he will always be remembered. We can learn so much from his words, to help our country, and ourselves.

Martin Luther King Jr NYWTS 5

By Herman Hiller / New York World-Telegram & Sun [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

As we think of Martin Luther King Jr. today, I thought it would be interesting to look at some of his quotes and see how we, as military spouses can apply them to our own lives. How we can be better people, based on things he has said.

“Faith is taking the first step even when you can’t see the whole staircase.” 

When we start a new deployment or PCS to a new location, we have to have faith that we can get through it. We have to have faith that we will make things work for ourselves. Even if we can’t see how we will actually do so.

“I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.”

It’s so important for us as military spouses to be aware of our racial biases and work through them. To stop and listen to others that may have walked a different road. And to work towards King’s dream, in our own everyday lives.

“If you can’t fly then run, if you can’t run then walk, if you can’t walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.” 

Sometimes we are crawling through this life and other days we are flying. The point is, keep moving forward, no matter how fast or slow you are going. One day at a time.

Martin Luther King Jr NYWTS 4

By New York World-Telegram and the Sun staff photographer: Albertin, Walter, photographer. [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness: Only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: Only love can do that.”

Hate can tear communities apart. Love brings them together. Even if you don’t get along with someone, even if they are not your cup of tea, hate is never going to make things better. As a military spouse community, we need to be bringing each other up, not tearing one another down.

“Everybody can be great … because anybody can serve. You don’t have to have a college degree to serve. You don’t have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love.” 

Such a great reminder that you don’t have to have x, y, and z to help other people. This can apply to so many things, from volunteering for the FRG to being a supportive spouse while your loved one is away.

Martin-Luther-King-1964-leaning-on-a-lectern

By Trikosko, Marion S. [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

“Forgiveness is not an occasional act; it is a constant attitude.” 

Being able to forgive will help you go far in the military world. From your neighbors to your coworkers, to the other spouses you meet along the way. Not everyone will act the way we hope they would and being able to forgive will help you have a better experience.

“We must accept finite disappointment but never lose infinite hope.” 

This is so true for everyone but in the military world, disappointment can happen on a regular basis. The key is making lemonade out of the situation and not losing hope.

“No person has the right to rain on your dreams.”

Whatever your dreams are, whatever you have planned, don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t. Push through, make it work, and get creative.

As we think about Martin Luther King Jr. today, as we think about what he set forth to do, all that he accomplished, and what he hoped for, we can learn a lot about ourselves. We often say, if we were around during those years, we would have been on the side of justice. But the truth is, we can still be on the side of justice today. We can be kind to those we meet, we can stick up for one another, and through that, our own communities will become a better place.