Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

Julie

Order a Brave Crate When Your Spouse Deploys, You Will Be Glad You Did

by

Order a Brave Crate When Your Spouse Deploys, You Will Be Glad You Did

I received a free box for review!

I love get personal mail. Or a package. Or really anything fun. It lifts my spirits and even more so during a deployment.

That is why when I first heard about Brave Crate, I thought it was such an amazing idea! Monthly boxes just for military spouses going through a deployment? Brilliant!

I am always super excited when I get the chance to review one of the Brave Crate boxes. Each one is different and filled with so many amazing products.

Why IS Brave Crate so amazing???

  • Monthly Mail- Who doesn’t love getting mail? I LOVE it, even more so when my husband was away. I love fun boxes and cool treats. And this monthly box? It is made ALL for the military spouse.
  • Try new products- One of the best things about a monthly box is that it is filled with new products, many I have never seen before. This helps me find new small businesses to order from or to find a new product I can use and love.
  • Made just for us- I LOVE that Brave Crate is made just for military spouses going through a deployment. They have challenges and ways to use the products to get to your goals.
  • The Brave Crate Community- Did you know Brave Crate also has a Facebook group? They are pretty amazing and can be a good place to talk deployments, find new friends, and gush about the latest box.

I just received the August Brave Crate box and it made me so happy! From the cute clips to the jade crystal roller! This box was fantastic!

Here is what I got:

So if your spouse is getting ready to deploy or if they already have, make sure to sign up for your own Brave Crate monthly subscription!

How much does Brave Crate cost?

The box is $33.99/month for a 6-month subscription. Shipping for your box is only $6 no matter where you are! Brave Crate also offers monthly and 3-month subscription options.

Are you interested in a Brave Crate box? If so head on over and sign up, use the code SWCL and receive $5 off your first box!

Finding Yourself, When Your Spouse Deploys

by

Finding Yourself, When Your Spouse Deploys

Whenever my husband is gone, I find I have a little more time for myself. I have more time to think about things, and more time to figure out what I was to do and change in my life.

Life is still busy when he is gone, sometimes even more so, but I love to take that time to reflect on well, everything.

As you go through deployments during your years as a military spouse, you will find that no matter what happens while they are gone, you will learn something new, and grow as a person.

During my first deployment, I found my inner strength and realized I could solo parent, for over a year if I needed to. This gave me the strength to get through future deployments. And while I am thankful that we have never had to go through another long deployment like that, I am thankful that I learned from it.

During our second deployment, I learned about the beauty of true friendship and what it means to help each other out. During that deployment, I found such a good friend, and we needed one another to get to the finish line. Going forward, I find the friendship of a good friend so important during military life.

During our third deployment, I battled a lot of fears. I was scared when I wasn’t before and I wasn’t even sure why. I learned to handle those fears and to figure out ways to move past them. I was able to take that into future separations.

During our fourth deployment, I realized I needed extra help. I had hit some type of wall and I couldn’t continue in the way I was going. That deployment broke me and I had to figure out how to make it work, for myself, for my kids, and for my husband.

We have gone through other separations and each one I grow in some way. Each one I learn something new. And I try to take what I have learned into the future, through military life, or anything that comes my way.

If you are going through a deployment, there are some things you can do to reflect more on your life, and learn some pretty amazing lessons along the way.

Journaling

Keeping a journal is such a good way to do this. You can spill out your thoughts and no one has to ever read them. You can read older entries and learn more about how far you have come.

Talking With a Friend

Talking things out with a good friend can also be helpful. Sometimes we can’t always see things that our friends can. And by talking to friends, we can be there for them and their journey as well.

Take Time For Yourself

We all need time to ourselves. Even if that means a nice bubble bath when your kids are sleeping in the next room over. Having time to yourself will allow you to have the mental space to work through anything you are dealing with and to figure out better ways to cope during a deployment.

Don’t Be Afraid to Try Something New

Stepping out of our comfort zone can be hard to do. But sometimes doing so leads to so many amazing things. If you have the opportunity to try something new, go for it. You never know where it might lead.

Use the time during a deployment to make some healthy changes, and learn through your challenges. You will be glad that you did.

When It Feels Like Military Life Isn’t Fair

by

Military life isn’t fair. It really isn’t. One of the mistakes I made going into this life was thinking military life might be fair. I know life isn’t fair but I guess I just assumed that the Military would be. The military is structured and organized, right?

What on earth was I thinking???

I thought that if you turned your paperwork in on time, you would get a quick response. Nope. Sometimes you have to wait because so and so went on a two-week vacation.

Other times your paperwork gets lost or sent to the wrong department. You really have to be on top of it. We stopped getting our BAH once because we didn’t send in a rental agreement, only no one told us we needed to and it took a while to figure out why that was happening.

I thought that if you went through one deployment, you would get a break on the next one. Nope. It really just depends on the unit and luck. Two soldiers can enlist the exact same day in the exact same MOS and have a completely different career path.

You can control some of this, but not everything. Sometimes what happens is just random and that is hard to get over when you think there should be some sort of fairness to this type of life. I learned that fairness has no place in a deployment schedule.

And this is another reason why you really never know what you signed up for. You can never really see how military life is going to pan out. You just have to “buckle your seat belt” and get ready for the ride.

You have to hope for the best while also preparing for the worst. And that isn’t always easy to do.

I have learned that you just can’t plan everything out based on what you think should happen. You can’t even plan based on what has happened in your spouse’s career in the past. Things change you really just have to go with the flow.

I am such a planner. I want to know what is going on, what time it is going on, where it will be happening, and what I need to do to prepare.

Military life makes this hard sometimes.

You might get little notice for something. Some people move with just a few weeks notice. Others go through the deploying one week, not deploying the next to end up deploying anyways.

I had to let go of the idea that everything will lead to a nicely wrapped future. I don’t think that is true for anyone. If I could go back in time and tell myself anything it would be that.

I would tell myself that things will happen that I have no control over and that I just have to roll with the changes. I think life would have been a little bit easier if I had realized that in the beginning.

If you are new to Military life and you are already feeling the unfairness of it all, take a step back.

Realize that it is going to be this way sometimes. That the best thing to do is try to roll with what is going on, vent to those who understand, and figure out a way to get through the difficult situation.

Look for the good benefits that this life brings, they are there. If it wasn’t for the Military, I wouldn’t have met the friends I did or traveled to the places I was able to go. I would be a different person and I am not sure I would be as strong.

Try not to be jealous of others. Be happy for them because you never know what might happen in the future. Try to enjoy the journey as best as you can.

Find friends who get what you are going through, depend on family who wants to help you, and try to support others when you can.

A Walk Through the Clarksville Greenway Near Fort Campbell

by

A Walk Through the Clarksville Greenway Near Fort Campbell

I love to walk. Back when my boys were little and we lived in Germany, I had a double stroller and I walked all over the place. I could walk almost anywhere I wanted to go.

Not only did this allow me to lose any baby weight I had gainned, I enjoyed it so much. I would listen to music, or very early podcasts and just head out and go.

When we moved to Clarksville, it was a bit harder to walk everywhere. This city is not set up like Germany was. But I still try to walk everyday, even just around my neighborhood.

Here in Clarksville, near Fort Campbell, we have the Clarksville Greenway. Miles where you can walk, and a lot of it under the trees so in the summer it isn’t as hot. They keep expanding it and building onto it which I love.

A few weekends ago, my husband and I walked 2.5 miles and back of one part of the Greenway. This really challenged me and hope to do it again in the near future.

Here are some photos from our afternoon…

A Walk Through the Clarksville Greenway
A Walk Through the Clarksville Greenway
A Walk Through the Clarksville Greenway
A Walk Through the Clarksville Greenway

Are you moving to the Fort Campbell area? Curious about Clarksville? A lot of people have a really overall good experience here. There are things that drive me nuts, and things I wish I could change, but overall, living here the last 10 years has been a good experience.

Here are some of my posts about Fort Campbell for more information:

And if you are not going to be stationed at Fort Campbell, you can check out my Duty Station Guest Post page for other locations.

Of Bubble Baths and Deployment Days

by 2 Comments

I remember the day…so long ago now. It was the middle of my husband’s 1st deployment to Iraq. I was in Germany with my baby and two-year-old.

I can’t tell you why this one day was so hard. I just remember it being so. I remember being way too stressed out about everything I had to do.

Take care of the baby, take the preschooler to school, go to the Commissary, clean the house, worry about my husband, put the baby down for a nap, wake the baby up to get the preschooler, take him to the park to get his energy out, and figure out how to get through the day.

It was probably late afternoon and I was struggling. But I just had to push through. I just had to get to bedtime.

Back then I would start dinner at 4:30. I know that seems early but I had to get these kids going on a bedtime routine. As soon as I made it to 4:30, I felt like I had accomplished something, another deployment day was ending.

On this particular day, getting to that 4:30 time seemed extra difficult, but I had a plan. Dinner, get the boys ready for bed, get them to bed, and then…me time!

I needed this me time so bad. Especially on this day.

Me time is so important to me, and I need it. Over the years, how I found that me time has changed.

These days, with two teenagers and a 9-year-old, I can do a lot more. I can leave my oldest in charge and go anywhere I want to go. Target, the movies, out to eat, or to see a friend. I have a lot more freedom, even when my husband is gone.

Back then, in that little apartment in Schweinfurt Germany, things were quite different. I had to find small windows to find that me time, all within the walls of my home.

A bubble bath with a good book became my saving grace. There was just something about running the water, adding the soap, and climbing in after a long day with the boys that gave me hope. There is something about water that just relaxes me and helps me stay focused.

Finding that time to myself, even with sleeping children in the next room, was a must. During so much of that deployment, I found myself in survival mode, just trying to get through. But that me time allowed me to start to thrive a bit, if only for an hour or two.

Years later, I still use a bubble bath to help me relax. Even if my husband is home, and I am not dealing with toddlers anymore. I find the water to be healing and a great way to let out the stress of the day.

If you feel like you are in a place where going out of your house for me time is close to impossible, see what you can do at home. There must be something or some way for you to find that time for yourself, even if it is just for an hour, even for just 10 minutes.

And if it is hard to find that time, know it won’t always be that way. If your spouse is deployed, it can seem like you have neverending days of being the only parent in the house, the only one who can help the kids, the only one who can be in charge. But deployments eventually end, time moves on, and you will be in a different season of your life.

How do you like to find me time? What works when your spouse is deployed and it is harder to find?

7 Ways to Survive This Summer…in GIFs

by

It’s summer! Are you excited? Maybe you are feeling a bit disappointed about what summer is going to look like this year? I know I am.

There are a lot of things that have been canceled or won’t be happening this year. My youngest was supposed to go to his first overnight summer camp and we are super sad about that, as well as other summer activities we just can’t do right now.

We are going to have to have a lot more patience this summer than ever before, and try to keep a sense of humor about it. Here are 7 ways to get you through the summer…in GIFS.

1) Invest in a good sprinkler…for the kids, for the dog, and well for you too. You know you will want to take a run through them every once in a while.

via GIPHY

2) Binge watch something that will grab you from the start, and make it so you don’t want to do anything else. Watch out though, you might start to think that you are actually friends with the characters.

via GIPHY

3) Make cookies. Make all the cookies. Make chocolate chip cookies and sugar cookies and peanut butter cookies. You can even make oatmeal cookies. But whatever you do, do not make oatmeal cookies and let people think they are chocolate chip cookies. That is just not cool.

via GIPHY

4) Read all the books. There are so many good books out there. From beach reads to books that will get you to think about all the important topics. Find some paperbacks and sit outside, and get your reading on. Summertime is a good time for it.

via GIPHY

5) DIY everything! If you have downtime, why not use it to work on your home a bit? Step one) figure out what you want to do. That actually might take you all summer long, but that’s okay. You can always just watch HGTV as homework.

via GIPHY

6) Prepare for that PCS! Maybe you are not moving until December, but who cares. It’s time to research. Find out about your new home. Could that location change? Sure! But we milspouses know this, we just have to power through.

via GIPHY

7) Learn a new skill. I mean, why not? Learn how to knit, or take better photos. Learn how to play the guitar, or how to work on a website. The internet makes it so much easier these days and you never know when that new skill will lead to a different career path.

via GIPHY

I hope you are having a good summer, even though this summer is probably the oddest summer we will ever have.

When They Are Deployed During a Pandemic

by

When They Are Deployed During a Pandemic

You knew 2020 meant a deployment, and you tried to prepare yourself for the time apart, but then, 2020 took a turn and you found yourself saying goodbye right as the world started to change.

You had no idea what this would mean for the deployment, or what this would mean for you and your kids back at home. You just knew a deployment during a pandemic was going to add another layer of stress, on an already stressful situation.

As the deployment got started, and everything started to close down, you just weren’t sure how long it would all last. Hopefully not too long? But as the numbers climbed, you knew this was something that would be impossible to plan.

Whenever your spouse goes away, you always have a plan. Stay busy! Find things for the kids to do! Get out of the house.

But then, most of that was canceled. The soccer games you knew you would have each Saturday, helping you get through your weekend, were canceled. Going to church wasn’t a way to connect with others, but instead, a service online in your living room. You couldn’t rely on all those playdates that got you through the last deployment.

And as time goes on you start to feel so lost. Day after day, it’s the same thing. Day after day, you have to find new ways to get through a deployment. The old ways don’t apply anymore.

Before your spouse left, you told yourself it would be okay because this time you would have kids in school all day, only to have them home right before spring break, and still be home months later.

Before your spouse left you had looked forward to visiting your family in the summer, but now, that trip has been canceled. And you aren’t sure when you can rebook.

Before your spouse left, you had a long list of things you and the kids were going to do. Your bucket list was long, but now on a few things are possible.

As time goes on, you start to worry a bit. A few friends are dealing with delayed homecomings, and you wonder if that will happen to your spouse, when it is their time to come home.

As a military spouse, you have been through many types of frustrating situations. From a delayed PCS to an extended deployment, but this deployment during a pandemic thing is a lot to deal with. Almost too much.

You wonder how long it will last, both the deployment and the pandemic.

You wonder what can really help because staying busy is now a lot more challenging.

You wonder how this will affect your kids and what you can do to help them.

As you wake up each morning, you try to think of the positives about what is going on. The good things. The happy things.

But some mornings, that’s just too hard. Some mornings, that is just too much. Some mornings, you wish you could hit the fast forward button so that all of this would be over and you could get back to your normal life.

You hope time goes by a little faster than it is. You try to do the best that you can do because that is all you can do. You hope this never happens again, and that once it is over, you can come out a stronger person, able to take on whatever military life brings at you.

So many may be struggling with a deployment during a pandemic. The National Guard has been called up for various reasons, and some have AT coming up soon. Others are preparing for a deployment during this crazy time.

None of this is easy, and it has taken us all by surprise. From delayed PCS moves, to not being able to travel like normal, the pandemic has affected military life in many ways.

Know that if you are dealing with any of this, you are not alone. Some of what has worked in the past won’t work right now, but you still have things you can do to get through it.

You might not be able to get together with friends, but texts and video chats can help.

You might not be able to visit your family, but setting up a weekly Zoom call can help keep you connected over the miles.

You might not be able to stay busy in the ways you have before, but you can take this time to find other ways to do, either at home or in nature of some kind.

It might seem that this is our new normal, and no one really knows how long we will be living in pandemic mode. But no matter what happens, the deployment will eventually end, and things will change.

2020 will eventually end, and hopefully, future years will be a bit easier on all of us.

9 Things to Do When You Are Impatient About a PCS

by

9 Things to Do When You Are Impatient About a PCS

How many of you are waiting on a PCS? Maybe you had orders to move and they were delayed because of what is going on in the world right now, maybe your original PCS date isn’t until later this year? Either way, waiting for a PCS can be difficult.

I have totally been there.

I couldn’t wait to PCS back to the US from Germany. I was so ready. And it seemed like we would never get there, but then the time finally came.

You can love your duty station and still be ready to PCS. You can hate your duty station, and struggle with extra time at a place you really don’t want to be. Whatever the reason, it’s hard to be patient waiting on a PCS.

Luckily, there are some things you can do to help you get through this time. Here are nine of them:

1) Remember the good times. No matter where you have been stationed, if you look hard enough, you have to admit there have been some good times. Maybe it is just that you love the deli you go to once a week, or maybe it is because you enjoy your daily walks. Whatever it might be, reflect on the time that you have had, journal your feelings, and pick some fun photos of your time there.

2) Make a bucket list for your new home. Spend some time online researching your new home. Figure out things you want to do once you get there. Take time to research now because once you get there, life might start moving pretty quickly and you might not have the time or energy to really look into what is there later.

3) Take up a new hobby. Cooking? Knitting? Photography? What can you do to stay busy? Focusing on a new hobby can take your mind off of the wait.

4) Look for a new home. This will, of course, depend on where you are in the PCS process. But, if you are looking for a home to buy or rent, you can start looking online. Even if your date gets pushed, you can get a sense of what is available in your new area or even help you make the decision to live on post or off.

5) Start going through stuff. It’s time to declutter. It’s time to go through everything. It’s time to see if your stuff sparks joy if you are into that. See what you can go through and what you can get rid of. It is easier to move with less stuff, and then you won’t run the risk of going over your weight limits.

6) Finish your current duty station bucket list. While you might not be able to do everything due to closures, you can see if there is anything else you can do before you leave. Maybe there is a park you have always wanted to visit or a local food you have wanted to try, now is your chance.

7) Blog about your duty station. Writing can be so good for you. Start a blog post about your current duty station. Don’t have a blog? I take guest post just about duty stations and would love to read what you have to say. The best way to learn about a duty station is from someone who has been there.

8) Buy something from your current duty station. We have this amazing painting that shows a soldier and his wife in downtown Schweinfurt by Lisa Parmeter, where we used to live. I am so happy I bought that because it is now on our wall and reminds me of our time there. See if you can purchase any local art or locally made crafts that you can take with you to your next duty station. You will be glad that you did.

9) Breathe. I know, this is hard. You just want to get moved. But you have to wait. And maybe you have downtime right now, maybe you don’t. Either way, remember to breathe and know this time will pass. And before you know it you will be knee-deep in boxes and PCS stickers.

Are you currently waiting on a PCS???