Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

Julie

So What Can You Do When Military Life Gets Too Hard?

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Military life is a rollercoaster. You will have your good days and your bad ones. You will have highs and you will have lows. You will be waiting for orders for months and months and then you get them and before you know it you are on a plane headed to your next duty station.

It’s a strange way to live your life, always waiting and then not waiting and hoping and crying and then laughing. Your emotions are all over the place.

When you hit a difficult season of Military life, it can be hard to know what to do. You want to think positively, but doing so is hard. You want to keep busy, but all you really want to do is hide in your bed. You want to remember that this too shall pass but all you see is more lonely nights, more frustrating days, and years of feeling like your life can never be normal again.

So what do you do when you hit this point? What can you do to get out of it?

Find Friends

Find your friends. Maybe you don’t feel like you can see them in person, or maybe they live too far away. You can still connect.

Send a text message, schedule a friend’s Zoom call, or make plans to meet up sometime in the future.

Friends are a must during military life. They can get you through the hard times, and help you make memories together. And they can pull you out when you are feeling like the military is just too much to handle.

Journal Journal Journal

If you don’t already keep a journal, why not start? Pick out a new journal, and just start writing. You can make it the way you want, and just write out your feelings.

The best thing about journaling is that no one can judge what you write. And putting things down on paper can help you get to a better place. A journal is a must during a deployment, or anytime the military is driving you crazy.

Remember the Past

Remember what you have been through before. A long deployment? A move to a place you never wanted to go? And think about how you got through all of that.

When you remember what you have been through, it makes it easier to go through something else in the future. You are strong, and you can look back and see evidence of that. You might just need a reminder.

What CAN You Change

In the end, you have to figure out what YOU can change and what YOU have control over. So many times in military life we as spouses have zero control, but that doesn’t mean we just have to live with everything the way that it is.
What can we do to make things a little bit easier back at home? What changes can we make to our daily schedules? Once you start looking at what you can change, and work on those things, it makes it a little easier to accept the things you can’t.

Have you ever felt like Military life was a little too much at times? What have you done to get through it?

Treat Yourself With a FabFitFun Box This Fall

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I received a free box for review from FabFitFun! This post also contains an affiliate code.

As military spouses, sometimes we don’t take the time for ourselves. We simply have too much to do. But self-care is so very important, even if we have to find it in little ways. With a spouse in the military, it isn’t always easy to get away from the house or get away for a long break.

We have to find ways to get that self-care in our homes, oftentimes while solo parenting, while our spouse is away. A monthly or quarterly box can be a great way to help with that.

You sign up, and then the box comes in the mail, as a true treat for yourself. While it might not seem like a big deal, finding little things to help with your self-care goals is important, whether it is a new lotion to try, something for your kitchen, or a new handbag.

What is FabFitFun?

FabFitFun is a seasonal subscription box with full-size fashion, beauty, fitness, and lifestyle products. Their mission is to deliver happiness to everyone everywhere and is available in the US, Canada, and the UK.

What I love about the box?

I love getting things in the mail, so when I see that FabFitFun box on my doorstep I get super excited! My favorite items are probably those that I have thought about getting, have used something similar in the past, or didn’t even know I would want but end up loving. One of my favorite products was something I got in my very first box, a salt and pepper grinder where you could put salt on one side and pepper in the other. We use it every day!

With the different beauty products, I love finding something new I have never tried before. The makeup products can be fun and they often send you some yummy smelling lotions or other types of creams.

Beyond the products, I also love that FabFitFun is dedicated to supporting female entrepreneurs. Many of the products in each box are from female-founded companies.

I also like that you can pick and choose some of the items in your box. At the same time, I also like how other items are curated by their team of experts, so there is always a little bit of a surprise. It’s like receiving a gift from someone!

What is the value of the products in a FabFitFun box?

The box is valued at over $200, and costs, $49 per season, but you would pay $39.99 if you use my code-“LITTLEHOUSE” 🙂 Some of the products in the box are worth more than you would pay for the WHOLE box. Pretty cool huh? And you aren’t just getting sample sizes either, which is so nice.

Treat Yourself With a FabFitFun Box This Fall

Here is a breakdown of the FabFitFun fall box I just received for review:

  • Botkier New York Trigger Backpack-$100
  • Nectar Sunglasses Blue Light Blocking Glasses in Brown Tortoise-$45
  • NCLA So Rich Cuticle Oil in Horchata-$18
  • The Laundress New York Crease Release- $16
  • Anastasia Beverly Hills Clear Brow Gel-$22
  • The Beauty Crop Glow Milk in Blind Date-$19.50
  • Hythe Tranquility Sleep Mist-$22
  • Volition Beauty Celery Green Cream-$55

Initiatives and Fall Theme:

This fall, FabFitFun’s theme is “Gather the Good” which is about finding new ways to maintain old traditions and also create new ones. It is also about embracing people that we love.

FabFitFun’s charity partner is: No Kid Hungry. They are proud to partner with them this season ensuring that kids get three healthy meals a day during this current crisis and beyond. So far, No Kid Hungry has sent more than $19 million in emergency grants to 876 schools and community groups. They help serve more than 13 million meals a day. FabFitFun will be accepting donations from its members who can donate in the Fall Add-Ons and Edit Sales.

How to order

To order your own FabFitFun Box, head on over to https://fabfitfun.com/ and use my code, “LITTLEHOUSE” for $10 off! FabFitFun can be a great way to treat yourself during a deployment, or even when your spouse is home. Filled with fun products to try and enjoy 🙂

Bloom Where You Are Stationed During a Pandemic

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Bloom Where You Are Stationed During a Pandemic

Even though some people’s orders have been delayed because of the pandemic, others are still moving or pcsing.

While it is a good thing military families can move on to the next step, it can be difficult when you are doing so during this time.

While you normally could be looking forward to getting to know your new community and for your kids to start at a new school to make friends, you feel like all of that might be on hold.

You want to get out and explore but how much can you really do right now? How can you figure out how to bloom where you are stationed if you can’t do what you normally do to get to know a new place?

Even if you aren’t new to your current duty station you may be feeling a bit restricted.

Your friend circle could have moved earlier this year and while you assumed you would get right back out there to make some new friends, COVID hit.

You may be awaiting orders to move somewhere new but they are delayed and you want to figure out how to enjoy the next six months at a place you are not too excited about.

Blooming where you are stationed doesn’t always come easy. Some places will be easier to love than others. But there is probably something good about anywhere you have to live, even if you have to hunt for it.

What can you do?

So what can you do? What is open and where do you feel comfortable exploring? This is going to differ for everyone and will depend on where you live.

Still…see what you can do. Use safety measures and make sure to follow the local regulations.

Accept the temporary setup

Okay I know it is hard but you might need to just accept things are not going to be the way you were hoping they would be. I know this is so hard because in some ways it feels like this is going to last forever.

Your kids might not be able to get out there and make new friends right away, but could they have a weekly Zoom call with friends they already know?

You won’t be able to introduce yourself to the moms in line at school pick up but can you say hi to a neighbor or talk over the fence on a regular basis?

You might not be able to attend all the fun events that normally go on in your community but you might be able to attend a social distancing event of some kind. Our local community still has a farmer’s market going on and there are other options to get out and explore part of the community.

Explore online

There is so much going on online these days. From virtual events to Bible Studies. From book clubs, to even concerts.

Check and see what your local communities might be doing and join an online event. This might feel different and weird but it could be a good way to learn about what is happening in your new community and you might even find ways to connect with others.

2020 is the worst but don’t let this year stop you from figuring out how to bloom where you are currently stationed. It might take some work but in the end, it will make life a little easier right now. And hopefully, 2021 will be an amazing year to see everything and explore the way you really want to.

Order a Brave Crate When Your Spouse Deploys, You Will Be Glad You Did

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Order a Brave Crate When Your Spouse Deploys, You Will Be Glad You Did

I received a free box for review!

I love get personal mail. Or a package. Or really anything fun. It lifts my spirits and even more so during a deployment.

That is why when I first heard about Brave Crate, I thought it was such an amazing idea! Monthly boxes just for military spouses going through a deployment? Brilliant!

I am always super excited when I get the chance to review one of the Brave Crate boxes. Each one is different and filled with so many amazing products.

Why IS Brave Crate so amazing???

  • Monthly Mail- Who doesn’t love getting mail? I LOVE it, even more so when my husband was away. I love fun boxes and cool treats. And this monthly box? It is made ALL for the military spouse.
  • Try new products- One of the best things about a monthly box is that it is filled with new products, many I have never seen before. This helps me find new small businesses to order from or to find a new product I can use and love.
  • Made just for us- I LOVE that Brave Crate is made just for military spouses going through a deployment. They have challenges and ways to use the products to get to your goals.
  • The Brave Crate Community- Did you know Brave Crate also has a Facebook group? They are pretty amazing and can be a good place to talk deployments, find new friends, and gush about the latest box.

I just received the August Brave Crate box and it made me so happy! From the cute clips to the jade crystal roller! This box was fantastic!

Here is what I got:

So if your spouse is getting ready to deploy or if they already have, make sure to sign up for your own Brave Crate monthly subscription!

How much does Brave Crate cost?

The box is $33.99/month for a 6-month subscription. Shipping for your box is only $6 no matter where you are! Brave Crate also offers monthly and 3-month subscription options.

Are you interested in a Brave Crate box? If so head on over and sign up, use the code SWCL and receive $5 off your first box!

Finding Yourself, When Your Spouse Deploys

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Finding Yourself, When Your Spouse Deploys

Whenever my husband is gone, I find I have a little more time for myself. I have more time to think about things, and more time to figure out what I was to do and change in my life.

Life is still busy when he is gone, sometimes even more so, but I love to take that time to reflect on well, everything.

As you go through deployments during your years as a military spouse, you will find that no matter what happens while they are gone, you will learn something new, and grow as a person.

During my first deployment, I found my inner strength and realized I could solo parent, for over a year if I needed to. This gave me the strength to get through future deployments. And while I am thankful that we have never had to go through another long deployment like that, I am thankful that I learned from it.

During our second deployment, I learned about the beauty of true friendship and what it means to help each other out. During that deployment, I found such a good friend, and we needed one another to get to the finish line. Going forward, I find the friendship of a good friend so important during military life.

During our third deployment, I battled a lot of fears. I was scared when I wasn’t before and I wasn’t even sure why. I learned to handle those fears and to figure out ways to move past them. I was able to take that into future separations.

During our fourth deployment, I realized I needed extra help. I had hit some type of wall and I couldn’t continue in the way I was going. That deployment broke me and I had to figure out how to make it work, for myself, for my kids, and for my husband.

We have gone through other separations and each one I grow in some way. Each one I learn something new. And I try to take what I have learned into the future, through military life, or anything that comes my way.

If you are going through a deployment, there are some things you can do to reflect more on your life, and learn some pretty amazing lessons along the way.

Journaling

Keeping a journal is such a good way to do this. You can spill out your thoughts and no one has to ever read them. You can read older entries and learn more about how far you have come.

Talking With a Friend

Talking things out with a good friend can also be helpful. Sometimes we can’t always see things that our friends can. And by talking to friends, we can be there for them and their journey as well.

Take Time For Yourself

We all need time to ourselves. Even if that means a nice bubble bath when your kids are sleeping in the next room over. Having time to yourself will allow you to have the mental space to work through anything you are dealing with and to figure out better ways to cope during a deployment.

Don’t Be Afraid to Try Something New

Stepping out of our comfort zone can be hard to do. But sometimes doing so leads to so many amazing things. If you have the opportunity to try something new, go for it. You never know where it might lead.

Use the time during a deployment to make some healthy changes, and learn through your challenges. You will be glad that you did.

When It Feels Like Military Life Isn’t Fair

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Military life isn’t fair. It really isn’t. One of the mistakes I made going into this life was thinking military life might be fair. I know life isn’t fair but I guess I just assumed that the Military would be. The military is structured and organized, right?

What on earth was I thinking???

I thought that if you turned your paperwork in on time, you would get a quick response. Nope. Sometimes you have to wait because so and so went on a two-week vacation.

Other times your paperwork gets lost or sent to the wrong department. You really have to be on top of it. We stopped getting our BAH once because we didn’t send in a rental agreement, only no one told us we needed to and it took a while to figure out why that was happening.

I thought that if you went through one deployment, you would get a break on the next one. Nope. It really just depends on the unit and luck. Two soldiers can enlist the exact same day in the exact same MOS and have a completely different career path.

You can control some of this, but not everything. Sometimes what happens is just random and that is hard to get over when you think there should be some sort of fairness to this type of life. I learned that fairness has no place in a deployment schedule.

And this is another reason why you really never know what you signed up for. You can never really see how military life is going to pan out. You just have to “buckle your seat belt” and get ready for the ride.

You have to hope for the best while also preparing for the worst. And that isn’t always easy to do.

I have learned that you just can’t plan everything out based on what you think should happen. You can’t even plan based on what has happened in your spouse’s career in the past. Things change you really just have to go with the flow.

I am such a planner. I want to know what is going on, what time it is going on, where it will be happening, and what I need to do to prepare.

Military life makes this hard sometimes.

You might get little notice for something. Some people move with just a few weeks notice. Others go through the deploying one week, not deploying the next to end up deploying anyways.

I had to let go of the idea that everything will lead to a nicely wrapped future. I don’t think that is true for anyone. If I could go back in time and tell myself anything it would be that.

I would tell myself that things will happen that I have no control over and that I just have to roll with the changes. I think life would have been a little bit easier if I had realized that in the beginning.

If you are new to Military life and you are already feeling the unfairness of it all, take a step back.

Realize that it is going to be this way sometimes. That the best thing to do is try to roll with what is going on, vent to those who understand, and figure out a way to get through the difficult situation.

Look for the good benefits that this life brings, they are there. If it wasn’t for the Military, I wouldn’t have met the friends I did or traveled to the places I was able to go. I would be a different person and I am not sure I would be as strong.

Try not to be jealous of others. Be happy for them because you never know what might happen in the future. Try to enjoy the journey as best as you can.

Find friends who get what you are going through, depend on family who wants to help you, and try to support others when you can.

A Walk Through the Clarksville Greenway Near Fort Campbell

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A Walk Through the Clarksville Greenway Near Fort Campbell

I love to walk. Back when my boys were little and we lived in Germany, I had a double stroller and I walked all over the place. I could walk almost anywhere I wanted to go.

Not only did this allow me to lose any baby weight I had gainned, I enjoyed it so much. I would listen to music, or very early podcasts and just head out and go.

When we moved to Clarksville, it was a bit harder to walk everywhere. This city is not set up like Germany was. But I still try to walk everyday, even just around my neighborhood.

Here in Clarksville, near Fort Campbell, we have the Clarksville Greenway. Miles where you can walk, and a lot of it under the trees so in the summer it isn’t as hot. They keep expanding it and building onto it which I love.

A few weekends ago, my husband and I walked 2.5 miles and back of one part of the Greenway. This really challenged me and hope to do it again in the near future.

Here are some photos from our afternoon…

A Walk Through the Clarksville Greenway
A Walk Through the Clarksville Greenway
A Walk Through the Clarksville Greenway
A Walk Through the Clarksville Greenway

Are you moving to the Fort Campbell area? Curious about Clarksville? A lot of people have a really overall good experience here. There are things that drive me nuts, and things I wish I could change, but overall, living here the last 10 years has been a good experience.

Here are some of my posts about Fort Campbell for more information:

And if you are not going to be stationed at Fort Campbell, you can check out my Duty Station Guest Post page for other locations.

Of Bubble Baths and Deployment Days

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I remember the day…so long ago now. It was the middle of my husband’s 1st deployment to Iraq. I was in Germany with my baby and two-year-old.

I can’t tell you why this one day was so hard. I just remember it being so. I remember being way too stressed out about everything I had to do.

Take care of the baby, take the preschooler to school, go to the Commissary, clean the house, worry about my husband, put the baby down for a nap, wake the baby up to get the preschooler, take him to the park to get his energy out, and figure out how to get through the day.

It was probably late afternoon and I was struggling. But I just had to push through. I just had to get to bedtime.

Back then I would start dinner at 4:30. I know that seems early but I had to get these kids going on a bedtime routine. As soon as I made it to 4:30, I felt like I had accomplished something, another deployment day was ending.

On this particular day, getting to that 4:30 time seemed extra difficult, but I had a plan. Dinner, get the boys ready for bed, get them to bed, and then…me time!

I needed this me time so bad. Especially on this day.

Me time is so important to me, and I need it. Over the years, how I found that me time has changed.

These days, with two teenagers and a 9-year-old, I can do a lot more. I can leave my oldest in charge and go anywhere I want to go. Target, the movies, out to eat, or to see a friend. I have a lot more freedom, even when my husband is gone.

Back then, in that little apartment in Schweinfurt Germany, things were quite different. I had to find small windows to find that me time, all within the walls of my home.

A bubble bath with a good book became my saving grace. There was just something about running the water, adding the soap, and climbing in after a long day with the boys that gave me hope. There is something about water that just relaxes me and helps me stay focused.

Finding that time to myself, even with sleeping children in the next room, was a must. During so much of that deployment, I found myself in survival mode, just trying to get through. But that me time allowed me to start to thrive a bit, if only for an hour or two.

Years later, I still use a bubble bath to help me relax. Even if my husband is home, and I am not dealing with toddlers anymore. I find the water to be healing and a great way to let out the stress of the day.

If you feel like you are in a place where going out of your house for me time is close to impossible, see what you can do at home. There must be something or some way for you to find that time for yourself, even if it is just for an hour, even for just 10 minutes.

And if it is hard to find that time, know it won’t always be that way. If your spouse is deployed, it can seem like you have neverending days of being the only parent in the house, the only one who can help the kids, the only one who can be in charge. But deployments eventually end, time moves on, and you will be in a different season of your life.

How do you like to find me time? What works when your spouse is deployed and it is harder to find?