Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

Julie

How to Decide What Breast Pump is The Best One For You And Your Baby

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The Breastfeeding Shop

This is a sponsored post by the Breastfeeding Shop. 

How to Decide What Breast Pump is The Best One For You And Your Baby

Did you know that for every birth event (pregnancy or adoption,) you can receive a $0 breast pump with the TRICARE benefit? This started in 2014 and is a benefit you should make sure you use. The Breastfeeding Shop is the perfect place to get that breast pump. They will be able to help you get what you want and fill out all the paperwork to receive your pump.

The Breastfeeding Shop has a nice selection of breast pumps. Each one is a little different and one might be better for you than another based on your own needs. But how do you decide which one is best?

Here is how you can decide which breast pump is best for you and your baby.

How often will you use the pump?

Think about how often you will be using your pump. If you work outside the home, you might need a pump to use throughout the workday. If you are a stay at home mom, you will be using your pump at different times. You will want to get a pump that can keep up with your daily needs, whatever they might be.

Will you travel with the pump?

Some breast pumps are easier to travel with than others. If you will be taking your pump places, to work or on vacation, for example, you will want one that is made for easier travel. Some pumps have a battery option and that would be a must if you will be needing to use the pump places that don’t have an outlet.

A car adapter option is ideal if you will be PCSing across the country or like to go on a lot of car trips. This will make pumping on the road a lot easier for you. You will be able to pump for your baby even when you are on the road.

What type of suction do you need?

Different moms will have different needs when it comes to how strong the suction is on their breast pumps. If you are unsure about what you need or know you want something stronger, going with a pump with stronger suction options is a good idea. That way, you will be able to pump what you need for your baby. All of the pumps you can get through The Breastfeeding Shop have customizable suction options so you can control how strong the pump works for you.

Extra features

When you look at the different choices of breast pumps, you will find different features that may or may not be important to you. Features such as Bluetooth technology, a quieter pump, or being lightweight can help go into your decision for the right pump.

Please go to The Breastfeeding Shop and look at their comparison chart to decide which breast pump would be best for you. Once you decide, you can start the process of receiving your breast pump.

Have you received your no-cost breast pump yet? 

The Pros and Cons of a Military Ball

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The Pros and Cons of a Military Ball

The Pros and Cons of a Military Ball

It’s ball season, and everyone is getting excited! You, however, are not sure you want to go. Will you have fun? Will it be a waste of money?

The truth is, a military ball can be a lot of fun. There are reasons to go and there are also reasons to stay home.

As for myself? We have been to half of the balls we could have gone to. The other ones? We decided to stay home.

So here you go…if you are trying to decide if you do want to go, think about the pros and cons and decide for yourself.

Pros of going to a military ball

You get to dress up

Dressing up in a ball gown is fun. It might be the only time you get to do so in your adult life. Find a beautiful dress, get your hair done, and have fun being a bit fancier than you normally are.

The traditions

There are all types of traditions at a military ball. From the way you have to greet people, to the toasts, to the grog. There will also be a place set for those who the unit has lost. These traditions have been around for a long time, and as a military spouse, it is nice to be able to see them at least once during your spouse’s career.

Have fun with friends

A military ball can be a fun night to hang out with friends. This assumes that you are in fact friends with the spouses of those in your husband’s brigade or unit. This isn’t always the case, but if you know another spouse who will be going, you can make some memories together at the ball.

Nice dinner

A ball includes a dinner, and sometimes they can be pretty yummy. If you have young kids, this is a time for you and your spouse to have a night out and a non-kid friendly dinner. Even if that is the only reason you enjoy yourself, going for the dinner can be worth it.

The Pros and Cons of a Military Ball

Schweinfurt, Germany 2008

Cons of going to a military ball

The cost

After you calculate the cost of getting their uniform ready, buying your dress, paying for the ball tickets, and maybe even a babysitter, you could be looking at paying over $200 or even $300 for the night. Not everyone has this in their budget, and the money can be better spent elsewhere. Think about how much extra money you have and if you think it would be worth spending that money for the ball.

You don’t know anyone

If you don’t know any of the other spouses, going to a ball can be awkward. Also, you might have to sit in a certain place, so even if your friends are there, you won’t be able to hang out with them during most of the night. If your service member is close with the people at your table and you are not, it can make for an awkward evening.

Too tired to make it to the dancing part

Every ball we have ever been to has had dancing, but that usually didn’t start until a couple of hours in. So we would either have to leave earlier because of the babysitter or we were simply too tired to dance by then. When you hear the word ball, you think dancing, but that isn’t always possible.

You have to find a babysitter

In a perfect world, you can find a babysitter who can stay with your kids all night long. That way you two can get a hotel and truly enjoy the night. The problem is, sometimes it is difficult to find a sitter, especially if you are new to your duty station. It also is an extra expense, so for some military families, a military ball isn’t something they can go to.

If you don’t go to your next ball, they will probably be another one in the future you can attend. Balls can be a lot of fun, but they are not for everyone.

Do you like going to balls? Or do you tend to skip them?

 

To the Military Spouse That is Jealous of Their Civilian Friends

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To the Military Spouse That is Jealous of Their Civilian Friends

The first time my husband and I were away from one another for an extended length of time was when he left for Germany. My son and I were in Kentucky waiting to join him. That was a long 4.5 months, in which I learned how to solo parent for the first time, about the frustration of Army paperwork, and the reality of missing your spouse.

I also started to become quite jealous of my civilian friends. Even though I had just been one of them. Their spouses didn’t have to go away as mine had. They were home, every day.

Their kids were able to greet them at the door, every day. Their kids got to spend, Thanksgiving, and Christmas with both parents; mine didn’t.

To the Military Spouse That is Jealous of Their Civilian Friends

 

I didn’t have anyone to let me sleep in on a Saturday morning, while they got my son ready, giving this SAHM a much-needed break. I didn’t have anyone to run to the grocery store for me when I was out of milk. I didn’t have anyone to talk about my day with unless it was over email or a 5-minute phone call.

I understood the big picture, that my husband was a soldier and that him joining the military meant we would be apart.

However, that didn’t make this part of military life any easier. I can’t help but wonder what it would be like if I never had to say goodbye to my husband. What life would be like if he never went away for more than a few days.

To the Military Spouse That is Jealous of Her Civilian Friends

I wonder what life would have been like had solo parenting only been something I did for a few days at a time instead of months at a time, and one point, over a year. What would life look like if I never had to shed tears over the loneliness of having a deployed husband? What would life be like had the military never been apart of my life?

But the truth is, being a military spouse has been good for me. I have grown so much as a person over the years, been able to experience things I would never have, and been able to be a part of something amazing.

So, to the military spouse who is jealous of their civilian friends, I am not going to tell you not to be.

That type of jealousy means you are missing your spouse and you wish they were with you more often than not. It means you care and recognize that your children are missing something too. And it is hard to watch others who have never had to experience all of that.

But I would also urge you to look at the bigger picture here. Yes, your spouse is missing something, so that others can gain something. Your spouse has to go, to protect the freedoms we hold dear.

While it can be painful to see whole families together, when yours is not, know that yours will be together again sometime soon too. As military spouses, we do have to go without, some of us more than others, but through those times, we will only grow stronger.

To the Military Spouse That is Jealous of Her Civilian Friends

We will work hard to help our children through everything they have to deal with.

We will teach them why their mom or dad has to be away, when their friend’s parents don’t. We will step in as much as we can, allowing them to still have a fantastic childhood. We will be there to help them through, whatever military life throws at them.

If you talk to seasoned military spouses, you will find that over the years military life has brought them many things. They will tell you about the friends they have made, the places they have lived, and the ways they have grown. They will tell you what worked for them and what might work for you too.

And while in the midst of a long deployment, it can seem like everyone else has it together and you don’t, know you are never alone in your feelings.

So if jealousy is bringing you down, think about what is to come. Think about all you have been through. Be excited that you are a part of the military spouse community.

Being a military spouse is an honor, one in which you should be proud. You have done things you never thought you would. You have surprised even yourself in what you are capable of.

You moved to Italy all by yourself. You learned how to fix a garbage disposal by using YouTube. You were there for a friend whose fourth deployment started off on the wrong foot, because you had been there before yourself.

Someday, when this military life journey comes to an end, you will be home with your spouse, your children, and wonder where the years went. You will look back and be proud of all you have been through and everything you did during your time as a military spouse.

 

5 Challenges of Being a Military Spouse Married to a Member of the National Guard or the Reserves

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5 Challenges of Being a Military Spouse Married to a Member of the National Guard or the Reserves

I spent almost 9 years as an active duty army wife, and now it has been over three years since I became a National Guard spouse. I feel like on some levels I have seen both sides. On the other hand, because we live right outside Fort Campbell, a very military town, my life looks a little different from other National Guard and Reserve spouse life.

However, I know that there are some pretty specific struggles and challenges that affect these military spouses. Ones in which active duty spouses might not understand. Ones in which civilian friends might not understand.

5 Challenges of Being a Military Spouse Married to a Member of the National Guard or the Reserves

Here are some of the struggles and challenges of military spouses married to a member of the National Guard or the Reserves:

Not being seen as a military spouse

Being a National Guard or Reserve spouse can make you feel like less than in a sea of other spouses. Our spouses have civilian jobs. Ones that don’t usually require a military uniform. This can be a difficult place to be in as not everything we read about military life applies to us.

For many, the idea of shopping at the Commissary isn’t even something they think much about, the closest one could be a day’s drive away. There is no on-post childcare to take advantage of, and the FRG might be really hard to find, if they even have one. It can be difficult to even find a place within the military spouse online community when National Guard or Reserves life feel so different from what is being portrayed.

5 Challenges of Being a Military Spouse Married to a Member of the National Guard or the Reserves

Being so far from the military community

Being so far from the military community can be difficult too, especially during a deployment. For many, they might be the only military spouse they know in real life. They are the only ones missing their husband, in a town full of people who just don’t quite understand what that is like.

The advice is to reach out and try to see if there is anyone else in their area with a spouse who serves. And if they can’t find anyone, look online. But even there, most of the groups and pages focus around active duty life. It can be difficult to truly find your people when your numbers are smaller than others.

The truth is, there are plenty of National Guard and Reserves spouses that are looking for community just like you are. They are feeling lonely and also feel that they will never find anyone else who gets it. You are not alone in this at all.

Questioning if programs and discounts apply to them too

When you hear about a military spouse program, or even a military discount, you always have to question if it applies to you too. Not all programs and discounts are for those in the National Guard or Reserves. Some are just for active duty. And knowing this makes us have to question every single one before we apply or ask for the discount.

5 Challenges of Being a Military Spouse Married to a Member of the National Guard or the Reserves

Drill weekend is lonely, and its okay to say so

Drill weekends are lonely, and usually, that is when Murphy decides to come to the home. Without fail, something always breaks when they are gone. Drill weekends are usually when we have the most activities going on that we could use our spouse home for. Drill weekends get lonely sometimes too.

And while yes, there are benefits to having a weekend alone now and then, it’s okay for a National Guard or Reserves spouse to miss their husband or wife when they are gone. Yes, we are all aware that others have had to be away from their spouses for longer.

The truth is, whether you are married to someone who is active duty or in the National Guard or Reserves, they are going to have to deploy sometimes. And sometimes those deployments are long. They will also go away for trainings and schools, for weeks and sometimes months at a time.

Active duty doesn’t have the claim on missing their spouses. All military spouses experience that at one time or another, and it is best to support one another through it instead of telling another spouse their husband or wife isn’t gone long enough to miss them.

Not quite fitting in at home either

While it can be difficult to fit in with the military community, it can also be difficult to fit in with the civilian one. When your spouse is in the National Guard or the Reserves, they are still serving. They are still apart of that 1%. And sometimes it can be difficult to fit in with people who don’t know anything about that life.

This feeling of not quite fitting in at home can be difficult and frustrating. The best thing to do is to look at your civilian friends and find something in common. Maybe one of them has a spouse that goes away on business trips all the time, maybe another has a spouse with another type of dangerous job. There is common ground there and there are ways to connect, even through your differences.

As a military community, we are stronger together. Whether we are married to someone on active duty, someone in the National Guard or Reserves, or someone that is retired. We can all learn from one another, and help each other through.

Are you married to someone in the National Guard or the Reserves? How long have they been serving?

Is Pet Health Insurance Right For Your Best Friend?

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Is Pet Health Insurance Right For Your Best Friend?

AFI insurance

Disclosure: This is a sponsored article on behalf of Armed Forces Insurance.

Are you one of the 62% of households in the U.S. who has a pet?

There are so many benefits to having a family pet, especially if you are a military family. Having a dog at home during a deployment may make the spouse and family at home feel more secure. A cat may be the perfect companion for a young family. There is research that animals provide a therapeutic outlet, especially for service members and veterans with PTSD.

Yet as any pet owner knows, there are costs associated with owning a pet. After all, pets may be unpredictable. While it’s hard to anticipate accidents or illness, you can be prepared for them. From routine office visits to significant medical incidents, pet health insurance provides protection for your dog or cat when he or she needs it most.

What does pet health insurance cover?

Every plan may have different coverages depending on what is best for your family. Coverage is available for your cat or dog against accidents and illnesses (except those that are pre-existing) including the following:

  • Breed-specific conditions
  • Cancer treatment
  • Diagnostic testing and imaging
  • Surgery, hospitalization, and nursing care
  • Alternative therapies and rehabilitation
  • Emergency room and specialist care
  • Vet exam fees
  • Prescription Drug Coverage (optional)

Types of pet health insurance

There are three product options for pet health insurance. First, there is an accident-only pet insurance, which may cover lacerations, foreign body ingestion, and poisoning or even vehicle accidents.

Another option is accident and illness coverage. This insurance plan covers medical care due to accidents, like the first coverage option, but it also includes infections, digestive problems and cancer.

The third, and most popular option, is pet health insurance with embedded wellness. This comprehensive plan may cover vaccinations, early screening diagnostics, consultations for proper nutrition and dental care.

Is pet health insurance affordable?

Yes. Pet health insurance policies can be customized to fit any budget without sacrifice in coverage. For example, the policyholder might want 90% reimbursement with an annual $500 deductible, or 80% reimbursement with an annual $200 deductible.

Pets provide a world of comfort, joy and zest in our lives. Give yourself, and your pet, peace of mind that he or she will be protected and your savings intact, should illness or emergency arise.

Sponsored: Deciding to get pet insurance is a personal choice. If you do decide on pet insurance, know that Armed Forces Insurance (AFI) proudly offers this type of insurance. AFI has been in business since 1887 and their purpose is to protect the people who protect our nation.

AFI provides a variety of insurance options from homeowners to renters to auto, and of course, pet insurance, to help cover your dog or your cat. AFI’s pet insurance offers a simple comprehensive plan against accidents and illnesses, except pre-existing ones. Please click here for more information on pet insurance and what AFI offers their customers.

Get The Stink Out With FunkAway

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FunkAway

This is a sponsored post. I was also provided free product for review.

Get The Stink Out With FunkAway

Yay! It’s time for your service member to get back from the field. You can hardly wait. Even though he was only gone for three weeks this time, you still really missed him. You get the call he is home, you go pick him up, and you head back to your home on cloud 9.

You pull up to your home and you can’t stop smiling, you missed this guy and now he is back home with you and the kids. Normal life can begin again.

He hops in the shower after putting his stuff by the washing machine. As you hear the water running, you look over, and man, that smell. Yuck. The Army doesn’t always smell so good, does it? Especially when they have been in the field.

Luckily, a company has come out with a great product to help with that funk. They are called FunkAway, perfect name for what the product does. Gets the funk out of course!

FunkAway

FunkAway products are perfect to get the stink out. In our house, soccer also brings a lot of stink. The shoes can get smelly but the real issue is those shin guards. Yuck! Funkaway can help and I can stick a travel size bottle in the soccer bag with us. Perfect!

FunkAway

FunkAway is perfect for shoulder pads, elbow pads, knee pads, shin guards, jerseys, hats, helmets, tents, hiking boots and more. If you have a funky smell, FunkAway can help you out.

FunkAway

I was sent quite a few FunkAway products to try out myself. We used the Laundry Booster in our daily wash and I love how it adds just a little bit to the clothes to make them smell a bit nicer. The Laundry Booster isn’t super strong but is easy to add to every wash, especially the stinker ones.

FunkAway

The Utility Player bottle is good for clothes that need a little refreshing. I also used some on some shoes that needed to smell a bit nicer, hint, they belonged to a certain six-year-old that loves to play. Overall there are so many things you can use FunkAway on from PT clothes to your kid’s soccer cleats. They have a variety of sizes available from the Heavyweight at 13.5 Fl oz to the Traveler at 3.4 FL ( also TSA-compliant.)

Visit the FunkAway website to learn more about these products and to buy your FunkAway products and get rid of the funk! 

The Best Deployment Blog Posts To Help You During Deployment

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I have been a military spouse blogger for eleven years now. During all this time I have connected with so many other bloggers out there. Some of them are other Army wives, and others are from other branches. Some have had similar experiences to me, and others have had very different ones.

Over the years, I have learned from them as I have gone down my own military spouse road. They offer some pretty amazing advice and can help you through anything military life throws at you. From an extra-long deployment to a PCS to a place you never wanted to go.

If you have just started a deployment, you might not know what to do or even where to go for advice. The good news is that there are a lot of places you can go to find what you need. You have your FRG, although the FRG doesn’t always work out for everyone. You also have your friends who have gone through a deployment too. But sometimes all of their spouses are home as you try to make sense of yours being away.

The next place to look is online. The internet is filled with websites, blogs, and videos all about deployment. I asked some of my military spouse blogger friends about their top posts on deployments:

I hope that you can find the advice you need for your own deployment through the words of these amazing writers and bloggers:

T. T. Robinson tells the story of her husband deploying, the father of her children, in the midst of a hurricane with More Than a Hundred Sleeps: A Father Deploys. If you have ever started a deployment with children, you should be able to relate to how hard it can be for a father to say goodbye.

Jen from Jen McDonald has the post, 15 Bible Verses for Military Spouses Facing Deployment or Separation. This post gives us Bible verses to think and reflect on during time away from our spouse. Whether you are religious or not, these verses can bring some comfort to you.

The Best Deployment Blog Posts To Help You During Deployment

Amanda from Airman to Mom has a post, 31 Days of Deployment Stories. She is sharing deployment stories to help encourage and inspire you through your own deployments. Hearing stories from others is one of the best ways to remember that you are truly not alone in what you are going through.

NextGenMilspouse gives us a post, Why I Don’t ‘Just Move Home’ During a Deployment. This post is the guest contributor Kimmie Fink’s response to people, including her own husband, who tell her to “just move home” during a deployment. While moving home is a personal decision, most spouses do decide to stay for a variety of reasons.

Amber, from Airing My Laundry, gives us her own reasons for not moving home in Why I Didn’t “Go Home” When My Husband Deployed. From liking her own things to not wanting her kids to leave their schools, there are a lot of good reasons to stay.

Lizann from The Seasoned Spouse, talks about Things I DIDN’T Do This Deployment in her post. From decorating care packages to not making a homecoming sign. Sometimes it feels like we have to do all the things in order to be a real military spouse, but that simply isn’t true.

Make sure to visit some of my own deployment resources as well. From my deployment posts to my Facebook group. You can also sign up for my mailing list to receive a Free Guide for The First 30 Days of a Deployment.

Remember, you are not in this alone, and there are a lot of people out there that want to help you get through your deployment too. 

What is your favorite deployment resource?

Why Military Spouses Should Keep a Journal, Especially During a Deployment

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Why Military Spouses Should Keep a Journal, Especially During a Deployment

Have you ever been mad at the military? I know I have. What is the best thing to do in that situation? Venting about it to my friends can help, but in the end, there is nothing anyone can do to help my situation. The Army did what the Army does, and there isn’t anything I can do to change that.

So out comes my journal, and I write all about how angry I am at the Army, how unfair I feel this decision was, and how I wish things were better. No one will ever read what I wrote, and I feel better about dealing with the situation.

Why Military Spouses Should Keep a Journal, Especially During a Deployment

Other times, especially during a deployment, I have missed my husband so much I couldn’t get it together. Out came my journal, and I started to write. I let everything out. How sad I was, how frustrated I was, how I wish things were different.

Sitting down with my journal is very therapeutic. Just to get things out, to write out what I am feeling, to express myself in that way, it helps.

There are many different tips about how to get through a deployment, writing in a journal is one of them and with good reason. There are so many benefits to doing so.

Why Military Spouses Should Keep a Journal, Especially During a Deployment

Writing in a journal can help with your stress and anxiety. If you struggle with anxiety, you know how it can be hard to get others to understand. Your journal doesn’t judge. Your journal lets you talk about what is going on, even if you feel you are alone in what you are struggling with.

Writing in a journal can help you put things in perspective. Sometimes what we most worry about can be dealt with by thinking about the big picture. A journal can help you see what that is.

Writing in a journal is relaxing. You can make journal writing apart of your routine. Grab a cup of coffee, grab your journal, and write a little before your kids wake up or get home from school. Pull out your journal before bed each night. Your journal can become a comfort item for you.

Writing in a journal allows you to record your days. Having a record of your day to day can be fun. As your children grow up, you can look back at what life was like two years ago, five years, or even ten. Journaling can also be a good way to remember what happened when your spouse was gone so you can share with them later.

Writing in a journal allows you to reflect on what you have been through. Since I have journaled through every deployment, I can look back at the first week, the first month, how I felt after R&R, or even how I felt that last week. Reading back reminds me how difficult things were and what I was able to accomplish when my husband was gone.

Why Military Spouses Should Keep a Journal, Especially During a Deployment

When I went to see a counselor during our 4th deployment, she told me to journal three pages every day to help. And that is what I tried to do. Writing in my journal was the best way to get my stress and anxiety out. I tried to do that to get myself in a better place, and journaling helped get me there.

I am a big fan of paper journals. There are so many cute ones out there and picking a new one is always a fun thing to do. Other people keep a journal on their computers. It doesn’t matter. Just find a way that works for you.

If you have never journaled before, give it a try. You might find it works well and can help you through your next deployment. No one will read what you write, and no one will judge you for what you have to say.

Do you keep a journal???