Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

Julie

Creating A Deployment Haven In My Bedroom

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Creating A Deployment Haven In My Bedroom

I received a free NECTAR mattress in exchange for this honest review. There are also affiliate links in this blog post.

Creating A Deployment Haven In My Bedroom

One thing that has helped me during deployments or time apart from my husband is having a place to go when I was feeling down or sad about my situation. Having a comfy place to read, watch tv, or write in my journal is my place to get out of my funk and work through the difficult deployment day.

What do you need to make a deployment haven?

To create your own deployment haven, you need a place for you to go, to reflect, to dream, to cry, to relax. A place where you can go when the deployment day gets to you. For some, this retreat might have to come after the kids go to bed. For others, this might come in the mornings after everyone goes off to school.

Finding a relaxing place for you to go during a deployment will help keep you focused. The best part about creating this type of space is that you can make the space unique to you and your needs. For me, my deployment haven is my bedroom.

For the longest time, my bedroom was the catch-all room of the house. If I didn’t know where to put something, I put it in there. Slowly I have been working to end that and to make our master bedroom a haven for me when my husband is gone and for both of us when my husband is home.

The biggest part of any bedroom is the bed, and we had been sleeping on a 12-year-old mattress.

I got the chance to review a NECTAR mattress, and I knew it was the perfect time to upgrade. 

With a new bed and mattress, I could make my deployment haven even better. With a comfortable memory foam mattress, I could snuggle into bed with a book, be comfortable, and enjoy my alone time.

The mattress arrived in a tube just like this…

NECTAR MATTRESS

 

We then were able to get the mattress out and ready to be slept on. It took a few minutes to get the outer bag off and then we moved the mattress to our bed frame. We opened up the packaging, and slowly the mattress started to grow to its full size.

You can see our video here…

Putting this together was super easy. We got things started around 5:00 pm and by the time we went to bed that night the mattress was ready to sleep on. There was a slight odor from the mattress, but that went away in a few days.

We have slept on the mattress for over a week now, and I LOVE it. This mattress isn’t just nice, but it’s amazing. We received the King mattress and upgrading from a Queen has been wonderful, but beyond that, the mattress itself is super comfortable.

NECTAR MATTRESS

Not only does the mattress feel good to sleep in as it conforms to your body but the mattress is also perfect for laying on to watch tv or get lost in a book. I like to read before I go to sleep each night and I love how I can settle into the bed and get super comfortable while I am reading. This mattress is perfect for my deployment haven.

The mattress also comes with two pillows, and they are pretty amazing too. They also took a little time to get to their full shape.

NECTAR MATTRESS

I love how the mattress looks, and when you first open the package, you won’t be able to help yourself from putting your hand on the bed and watching the memory foam at work. This type of mattress is very different from one with a spring, and that is a good thing.

Does this mattress sound good to you? Here is a little bit more about the Nectar mattress:

Forever Warranty: NECTAR has a forever warranty which is how long they will guarantee the construction, materials, quality, and durability of NECTAR.

Shipping: Shipping is free within the contiguous US. There are additional shipping costs to Alaska, Hawaii and US territories excluding PR.

How does the mattress work: The NECTAR mattress has 4 special grade performance layers and a uniquely milled cooling cover. NECTAR is certified pure and better for you and the environment. The mattress is considered medium firm, support of a firm mattress and comfort of a pillow top.

365 Night Sleep Trial: You get a full year to enjoy NECTAR and figure out if the mattress is right for you.

How to buy: Head on over to the NECTAR website, find the right size and right mattress and place your order.

So whether you are working on your own deployment haven or you want something for your new house after a PCS, check out the NECTAR mattress, you will be glad that you did.

The Truth About the Military Spouse Community

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The Truth About the Military Spouse Community

I have noticed something, and it makes me sad. Military spouses who have no desire to be involved in the military community because they think everyone is awful. They don’t want to try to be friends with other military spouses because they believe all military spouses are the same and that they don’t want to be involved in their drama.

I just have to say, that in the 12 years I have been a military spouse, this has not been my experience. 

Military Community

Are there terrible military spouses out there? Yes, of course. Just like there are terrible civilian spouses out there. Terrible people are everywhere but so are amazing people. And the military community has a lot more of them.

Do military spouses cause drama? Yes, they do, but you know what? There is drama everywhere else too. There is drama in a civilian neighborhood, there is drama in a civilian school, there is drama just about anywhere you find other people. Life has drama.

The Truth About the Military Spouse CommunityWhen you shut yourself off to the military community as a whole, you are shutting yourself off to the ability to meet other people who understand what you are going through. You shut yourself off to the opportunity to meet people who can become family. You shut yourself off to making some amazing memories and getting to know your neighbors and your community.

If you are feeling like no one understands you, if you feel like you are the only military spouse who believes a certain way, I guarantee you are not alone. I guarantee that there are other military spouses out there, in your own military community, that believes the same way that you do.

When you are new to military life, the community can feel a bit overwhelming. There is so much to learn, so many terms, so many traditions. You can feel a little lost.

When you get to your first duty station and don’t know a soul, you can start to feel invisible. The school is asking for an emergency contact, and you don’t know anyone local, let alone anyone you would trust with your children. You see other spouses with their friends, and you want that, but you are not sure how to get it.

The Truth About the Military Spouse Community

You might be a seasoned spouse who is moving for the sixth time in ten years. Things didn’t go so well at your last duty station, so you tell yourself that this time you will stick to the civilian side of things. You will stay far away from the military community. But then your spouse deploys, and you are left alone, wondering how to make it through, wondering how you will do so without any battle buddies.

The truth is, our military communities are filled with people, and people do make mistakes. They are filled with good experiences and bad ones. They are filled with happiness and sadness. They are filled with men and women who all want to live the best life that they can with the people around them.

So whether you are brand new to this life or whether you have been a spouse for a long time, try to reach out and find the good in your military community. The good is there, I promise.

You can see it when one spouse loses her child, and her friends are there to help her through. You see it when one spouse loses her husband, and her battle buddies are right there by her side. You see it when a mom is having a baby and her community rallies around her and offers support.

The truth is, not everything is going to go smoothly. In a military community, you will find drama, you will find people who ignore you, you will find people who won’t understand you. But they do not make up all of the community. They should not ruin things for you so that you swear off military spouses for good.

The Truth About the Military Spouse Community

This isn’t to say you shouldn’t be guarded or careful. Opening your heart to everyone you meet isn’t always the best plan. But you can go into your community with hope. You can work hard to be the type of friend you are looking for. You can work hard to make the military community a better place.

What do you love about your own military community?

 

Operation Rocker With Cracker Barrel and Operation Homefront

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Cracker Barrel

This is a sponsored post with Cracker Barrel!

Every time we go to we always take some time to sit in the rocking chairs out front. They are perfect for your porch, to sit and enjoy the evening or to have a cup of coffee before work. I am working together with Cracker Barrel on this post and they sent me one of their rocking chairs to put together, decorate, and gift to someone special. When they did, I knew who I wanted to give this rocker to.

My husband, who is in the National Guard, first joined the Army back in 1996. Although he did take a break, I joke it was in order to meet me, he has served a total of about 13 years, both active duty, and with the National Guard. He spends his weeks working hard at his civilian job and then when it is time for drill, puts on his uniform, and goes and serves his country. And his birthday is coming up.

I knew that my husband would love a rocking chair for his birthday. We have a front porch at our home here in Tennessee and I knew a rocking chair would be perfect for him to sit in after work or on a Saturday morning, especially since it has finally started cooling off here.

Operation Rocker With Cracker Barrel and Operation Homefront

When he is not working, he likes to relax and I knew the rocking chair would allow him to do so more than the chairs we already had out there. My six-year-old son and I took some time to decorate the chair for him too. He loves this type of thing and knowing he was making it for his Dad made working on it even better.

Operation Rocker With Cracker Barrel and Operation Homefront

My helper 🙂

We decided to go with a red, white, and blue patriotic theme for the chair. We used several different types of ribbon and a red, white and blue star decoration.

Cracker Barrel

provides a good meal for your whole family. They have a home-away-from home feel and whenever someone visits us from out-of-town, we like to take them there. The restaurant was established in 1969 in Lebanon, TN and there are 644 stores in 44 states today. Not only do they have good food, their breakfasts are my favorite, but they have an amazing country store you have to spend time in when you go.

Operation Rocker

The Operation Rocker campaign with Cracker Barrel and Operation Homefront is a way for the community to give back to the military and the veterans who have served their country. Cracker Barrel will donate a rocking chair to Operation Homefront for every adult rocker that is purchased on Cracker Barrel’s website until Labor Day (9/4/17.)

In addition to donating the rockers, Cracker Barrel also donated 10% of proceeds from all in-store adult rocker sales to Operation Homefront during the weekend of June 30th-July 4, 2017.

Operation Homefront

Operation Homefront offers relief, resiliency, and recurring support to military families across the nation. After starting shortly after 9/11, they have served tens of thousands of military families across the country. I know we have benefited from them in the past too.

Operation Rocker is one way to help so they can continue to help military families. The program Homes on the Homefront, which Operation Rocker supports, has also awarded nearly 600 mortgage-free homes as well as providing over $48 million in deeded value to veterans and their families. Other programs include the Fisher House, United Through Reading, The Legion Fund and more.

Last year, over 700 rockers were purchased during this program. Cracker Barrel and the Cracker Barrel Old Country Store Foundation together contributed over $430,000 to Operation Homefront through both monetary and in-kind donations. To kick off this year, they awarded a $50,000 grant to Operation Homefront.

Head on over to the and buy a rocker for you or that special person in your life. Doing so is a way to give back to veterans and you can enjoy the benefits of having a rocker on your porch too.

13 Memes for a Military PCS

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13 Memes for a Military PCS13 Memes for a Military PCS

PCSing! A big part of being a military spouse is moving every few years. While some families move after a just year and some don’t move for five or more, most military families are moving at least every 3-4 years. And that doesn’t include moving to a different home at the same duty station.

I have been through three PCS moves myself. We moved from Kentucky to Germany, within Germany, and then to Tennessee. In addition to that, I have probably moved about 15 times since leaving my parents house. Moving isn’t very much fun but a PCS can be a way to have a fresh start.

Here are 13 memes all about a military PCS:

Military PCS

Yes, you will be waiting for what seems like forever only to be told you have one week to get everything done. It’s crazy but that is pretty much what can happen, especially during an overseas PCS when you are waiting on a lot of paperwork.

Military PCS

This is for real! Sometimes you get amazing housing, sometimes you don’t. Such as military life.

Yes, you might not be excited about where you are moving but that doesn’t mean you won’t make the very best friends of your life there.

Military PCS

The number one tip for finding new friends at your duty station is to keep putting yourself out there.

Military PCS

Yep, nothing is final until you are physically there.

Military PCS

That would be the best!

Military PCS

Yes, finding friends at your new duty station will make your time there so much better. Being lonely isn’t any fun.

Military PCS

So true! All three of my kids were born in different places.

Military PCS

I really didn’t know where my son was going to start kindergarten until a year before and we got orders to Ft. Campbell. A lot of people have less time than that.

Military PCS

Yep! Don’t be afraid to ask for help!

Military PCS

Yes, you never know where you might end up!

Military PCS

I think we still probably have some from 2005.

Military PCS

Just got to go with the flow here…

 

How many PCS moves have you been through?

6 Reasons Why Deployments Can Be So Difficult With Small Children

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6 Reasons Why Deployments Can Be So Difficult With Small Children

Deployments with children are all I have ever known. When my husband joined the Army, we had a 13-month-old. My husband left for Germany, and we stayed behind waiting for our Command Sponsorship. This pushed me right into the solo parenting role and one I never expected I would be in.

Deployment

 

Over the years, I have been through four deployments as well as plenty of other separations where I had to parent alone. I have always felt this was a bit of a deployment weakness for me. Being both mom and dad is hard, and when you have to do it over and over again, it wears on you.

There are many reasons why a deployment can be so difficult. They vary based on each person, their situation, and what they are currently going through. A spouse suffering from depression is going to have a different type of challenge during a deployment than a spouse who isn’t. But that doesn’t mean the second spouse isn’t fighting their own battles.

Here are six reasons why deployments can be so difficult with small children:

You do bedtime, every night

Every night you are the only one putting your kids to bed. You do all of the bedtime routines. You read all of the stories. You always get the last drink and last snack. It is all you. There isn’t anyone else who is going to be coming home after work that you can split the job with.

Over the months, this can start to get to you. You daydream about your spouse being able to do bedtime, to give you that break. You swear that you will never take that for granted again. And you put plans into place to help you during those hectic nighttime hours with your children.

deployments with children

You have to find a babysitter for everything

When my husband was home, he could always be there with the kids if I had somewhere to go during the weekends. If I had a ladies, night, I just needed to let him know. If friends wanted to meet for lunch on a Saturday, I would just let him know of my plans. If I wanted to run to the store for three items, I could do so without my children.

Once my husband left, that became an issue. If I wanted to do any of those things, I had to find a babysitter. Luckily I was able to find friends to help, I was able to use hourly care, and was able to find other ways to have someone watch my children when I needed to be somewhere, most of the time.

You have to take them all with you to shop

Shopping with all of your children can be very stressful. During deployments, you most likely have to take all of your kids with you to shop, at least some of the time. If you have children in a preschool program or can use hourly care, that can be the perfect time to do your shopping.

If you do need to take them all with you, make sure you do go over the rules and try to make the experience as easy as you can. Doing things like using a sling for a baby and put the toddler in the front of the cart so that you can free up space for the food you need can help you have a better experience. In the past, I have also traded babysitting with a friend so that we could both get our grocery shopping done quickly and without our kids.

Your children miss their parent too

While you are missing your spouse, your kids are missing their mom and dad, and when that happens, you might not know what to do to help them. Sometimes all you can do is hold them while they cry and let them know that the other parent is missing them too. Tools such as Daddy Dolls and having your spouse read books over video to them can help children during a deployment.

Know that different children will handle deployments differently, even within the same family. You might have one child who seems to take it all in stride and another who breaks down over the deployment every day. Figure out what will work for each child and do your best to remind them that the both you and the deployed parent love them very much.

Deployments

Your spouse misses out on milestones

Whether it is your daughter taking her first steps or your son learning to talk, having your spouse miss milestones can be difficult. You can take photos and videos to share, but that isn’t the same. The best thing you can do is to write down when they things happen and share with your spouse and know that they will be home to experience other milestones in the future.

Things can be weird when they come back

When your spouse does get home from a deployment, parenting together can be strong. If your spouse left a 6-month-old who was barely starting to crawl and then comes home to an active toddler, things can be a little overwhelming for them. Even more than that, you probably have developed your routines and the way you do things with your child.

The best thing to do is talk about what life will be like for your children after they get back. You can go over expectations and the little details of having a child the age that you do before they come home. See if it would help your spouse to have you write out your regular schedule but also make room for them to add their way of parenting to your routines.

You should see eye to eye on the big parenting topics, but it is okay to do things a little differently when it comes to parenting your children. This naturally happens when both spouses are home as the child grows but can seem weird when one has been away for a long time.

When it comes to deployments and small children, you do the best that you can, you live each day as fully as you can, and you count down to the days when your solo parenting will come to an end.

What are your best tips for raising small children during a deployment?

Keeping Military Kids Busy With Hands On Educational Learning + A Giveaway

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Keeping Military Kids Busy With Hands On Educational Learning

This is a sponsored post by Nakturnal

So you spouse just deployed, now what to do with these kids? When you are suddenly both mom and dad, you have to figure out how you will get through. You will have to figure out how to stay busy so that the deployment will be easier for you and your kids.

There are so many ways to keep kids busy, both inside and outside of your home. From taking them to the park to signing them up for sports and other activities. Make plans and fill up your calendar. Look and see what is available in your local area.

Keeping kids busy during a deployment is going to keep your sane, wear them out so they sleep better at night, and help them make friends and memories along the way. When you can find fun things for your child to do, both of you will have a better deployment experience.

Activities for children

One option would be to sign them up for a Snapology class. 

What’s Snapology?

Snapology is an interactive STEM/STEAM program for kids. They feature technology and popular building toys such as LEGO Bricks and K’nex. This makes for a fun class that focuses on building and creating.

Where are Snapology classes?

You can check out the Snapology website to find where your closest Snapology franchise would be on their website. For those of us at Fort Campbell, that would be in North Nashville but Snapology is also looking for someone to open another Snapology in Nashville.

What does it take to open a Snapology franchise?

You will be able to be your own boss with over 40 different program topics and themes. You can offer field trips, birthday parties, workshops, scouting events, and more for kids ages 1-14. Fill out the form on the website to find out more information about opening your own franchise.

Activities for children

Now for the giveaway, would you like to win a Mascot Alligator Lego set?

Alligator Lego Set

Pretty cute, huh?

Enter the Rafflecopter below 🙂

Make sure you do leave a comment answering the question, What is your favorite thing to do with your kids?  

US addresses only. 

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Sometimes staying busy with your kids means being creative and a Snapology class can be an excellent way to do so. Take some time to check them out and see what they have to offer. Finding the right creative and educational class for your child can be one of the best things you can do and opening your own franchise can be a good way to earn money and do so by helping children.

Make sure to share this Snapology opportunity with your friends 🙂

Military Spouse Memes for National Guard Spouses

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Military Spouse Memes for National Guard Spouses

National Guard life can be a whole different ball game than active duty life. You might be far away from any other military spouses, your spouse isn’t in his military uniform all of the time, and you have lived in the same place for the last 15 years.

We watch our spouse work hard during the work week at their civilian jobs and then put on the military uniform for monthly drills and yearly trainings. We watch as they go off to schools and even deploy. We feel the same pride our active duty spouse friends do at watching their spouse serve.

Military Spouse Memes for National Guard Spouses

Here are some military spouse memes just for us National Guard spouses:

National Guard Memes

Whether your spouse is National Guard or active duty, when they are gone, you will miss them.

National Guard spouses

Ya, we all know that “two weeks a year” could mean anything. Two weeks is just a starting point.

National Guard spouses

When you rely on your spouse being home for ladies nights, drill weekends can put a stop to your plans.

National Guard spouses

When your spouse is in the National Guard, it can feel like you are not quite in the military world but also not quite in the civilian one either. That can be difficult and it can take some time to get used to that feeling.

National Guard Life

Yep! If something in your house is going to break, it will be drill weekend.
I swear that appliances get together and plan this.

National Guard spouses

Hey, if they have to be away, look at the positives. The remote all to yourself. If you are like me, you have those special shows you watch once a month.

Yep! I get a lot of organizing done when he is gone. Much easier to do things that way.

National Guard spouses

You have to get prepared ahead of time for the long weekend ahead.

My husband has been in the National Guard for over three years now. During that time I have learned so much about this part of military life.

Are you a National Guard spouse too? How long has your spouse been serving? 

We Went to Knott’s Berry Farm and Got a Military Discount

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We Went to Knott's Berry Farm and Got a Military DiscountWe Went to Knott’s Berry Farm and Got a Military Discount

Growing up in Southern California, Knott’s Berry Farm was a huge part of my childhood. I have so many fun memories of that place too. Like Disneyland, my mom would take us there during our school breaks, for birthdays, or really whenever she found a good deal. We even went there for our 4th-grade field trip to learn about the history of the area and the gold rush.

When we were in California this past July we decided to plan a family trip to Knott’s Berry Farm. My mom, dad, brother, and boys would all be going, and we planned to meet up with my best friend and her kids who live in the area.

We Went to Knott's Berry Farm and Got a Military Discount

Where to get your Knott’s Berry Farm military discount

I knew Knott’s Berry Farm had a military discount. We have always been able to use one since my husband joined and the amount of the discount has been different every time. This trip, I went to my local MWR Leisure Travel Services to buy my tickets here at Fort Campbell.

I was able to purchase tickets for my boys and me as well as my mom. When I bought them I didn’t know my dad and brother were going to come too. I paid $40 for each ticket. Regular price is $75.00 for adults and $45.oo for adults, although sometimes they do have sales on their prices.

We Went to Knott's Berry Farm and Got a Military Discount

If you go to the gate to buy your tickets with the military discount, they will be $48. If you buy them online through Knott’s Berry Farm, they would be $43. On the website they state that the service member has to be there to get that discount, that wasn’t the case when I bought my tickets at MWR.

So if you are planning a trip to Knott’s Berry Farm and you can easily go to an MWR to get your tickets, that would be your best bet. They also have had months where they offer free admission for the military, but that will depend on the year. Last year it was a few weeks in November and then again in December.

We Went to Knott's Berry Farm and Got a Military Discount

If you have never been to Knott’s, know that it is a different place from Disneyland.

Knott’s doesn’t have all the magic that Disney has, but really, who does? But Knott’s can make for a fun day just the same.

My favorite ride is the Timber Mountain Log Ride. My kids were trying to say they copied Splash Mountain but the log ride has been around since 1969 and I have been riding it for as long as I can remember. When Splash Mountain was built, I remember thinking how great it was that Disneyland would now have a log ride too.

We Went to Knott's Berry Farm and Got a Military Discount

There are more roller coaster rides at Knott’s and some parts of the park have a very Six Flags feel to it. There is Camp Snoopy for the little kids and quite a few shows to take in. They also have a water park now that would be an extra ticket. I have never been but heard that park is quite fun too.

We Went to Knott's Berry Farm and Got a Military Discount

Ghost Town is a lot of fun, and we always tend to go there first. They have people dressed up and in character from that time period. Don’t miss talking to the man in jail and visit the old school house.

Food at Knott’s Berry Farm

I have never been too thrilled with the food choices at Knott’s, although I do love their ice cream. We ended up eating lunch at Johnny Rocket’s which cost more than a regular Johnny Rocket’s but felt like we were getting better food than we would at some of the other places in the park. There is also a TGI Friday’s outside the gate that we have been to before.

If you have the time and the money, eating at Mrs. Knott’s Chicken Dinner Resturant can be a good choice. This is right outside the gate. You can also get a meal from there at the Chicken-To-Go place next door.

Shopping

There are also quite a few fun shops to look at inside the park as well as outside the gate. Make time for those to buy a survivor or to just look at what they have to offer.

If you are trying to decide if you should go to Knott’s Berry Farm, think about what your kids like to do. If you have smaller children your day could be spent in Camp Snoopy and watching some of the shows. If you have older children, you can do more of the big rides and roller coasters.

Have you ever been to Knott’s Berry Farm?