Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

Julie

The 3 Ways That Blogging Can Heal Your Heart

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3 ways blogging can heal your heart

The Three Ways That Blogging Can Heal Your Heart

I am often heard that if you are going through a difficult time it is best to write about what was going on. Start a journal and just write. Get everything out. I have kept a journal for years and years and this is true. Writing in the journal helps me feel better and allows me to think about things I would never have thought about before. Blogging is similar in that way.

Some people blog for fun but others do it as a way of reaching out, of sharing their stories. Blogging can be healing and when you are struggling with something in your life blogging can be a great way to heal your heart.

Blogging can give you a good outlet to express yourself and your thoughts. It can allow you to connect with others and it is nice to look back on years later after the moment has passed. Blogging is like a journal you can share with others and although you probably won’t write as openly as you do in a private journal, you can get your words and thoughts out there to help others and heal yourself.

I started my blog during a deployment because I knew I couldn’t be the only one going through one. I couldn’t be the only person feeling the way I did. I needed to blog to heal and to help others heal as well.

Blogging Gives You An Outlet

When you have your own space on the internet then you can always there when you need to and pour out your heart. You can express yourself and let others know what you are going through or what you have been through in the past. When you have so much inside of you and have to let it out, blogging can be a good way to do so. I went through a very bad breakup when I was in college. I always wonder what it would have been like to have been blogging during that time. I think it would have really helped me get my feelings out on what was going on.

Blogging Allows You To Connect With Others

When going through a difficult time you want to know you are not alone. If you blog about it, you can meet people through your words. Someone else going through what you did will read what you wrote and be encouraged. You can connect and share stories. Blogging is a great way to create a group of people who can help you through a difficult time. You just have to put yourself out there a little bit. That can be difficult sometimes because you might worry about those who don’t understand. People who just don’t get  what you are dealing with. The key is ignoring these people and focusing on those who can encourage you. And looking for people who you can encourage in return.

Blogging Is Always There

I have posts I wrote during out 2nd, 3rd and 4th deployments. I have posts I wrote when we moved from Germany to the US, I have posts after having children. I love that I have all of that to go back to. Sometimes I can learn from myself. I can also be reminded of certain times in my life when I felt a certain way. Blogging is a way to learn from the past. As you grow as a person you can look back at what you have been through and grow from it.

If you are going through a difficult time, if your heart feels sad and broken, blogging can help. You can get your thoughts out, you can regroup and understand more about your journey and you can find others to connect with that can relate.

What about you? Do you blog about your challenges? How has blogging healed your heart?

The Truth About Parenting

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The Truth about parenting

Want to know the truth about parenting?

I have been a mom for almost 11.5 years now and it has been quite the journey. It has been nothing like I thought it would be.

Back in junior high, high school and college, I babysat a lot. I watched a lot of kids over those years. I thought I had it figured out.

And maybe I did have the basics figured out. That you needed to make sure they were fed, changed, dressed and loved. That you could make them laugh and that you could help them grow up. What I didn’t fully understand was how much being a parent was going to be the hardest thing I have ever done and that parenting would always  be that way, whether my children were babies or whether they were all grown up and out of the house.

When you only have little babies you have to figure out how you are going to mother them. Should you let them cry it out? How long should you breastfeed for? Does it really matter what toys they play with? You always have to wonder if you are doing parenting right.

Then they become toddlers and you enter a whole new world. I remember the moment when my sweet little boy hit that new stage and threw a sippy cup at me because he was mad he had to go to bed. Say what? Who is this child and where did they come from?

I didn’t know that the threes would be much harder than the twos. That potty training would drive me to the edge of insanity. That having two in diapers really wasn’t as hard as people said it was going to be. That I would struggle so much with the spanking issue, that I would have to do a lot of solo parenting or that I would only raise all boys.

Parenting is full of a lot of surprises.

Before I had kids I had some ideas about parenting but over time those ideas have shifted and while some things have always been important to me, other views got lost somewhere between the midnight feedings and fit throwing toddlers.

I didn’t think I would ever use a stroller. HA! What was I thinking? A stroller saved my life when I had a 3 and 1-year-old. I am not sure how I could have lived without it.

As I look back over the last 11 years I can tell you some stages in parenting are much harder than others. Did I mention potty training??? UH! Glad we are done with that.

But as I look ahead I see those teenage years and puberty and getting into colleges and I wonder how those years are going to go. Will they stress me out as much as toddlerhood did? Is that even possible? Will I be able to make the right decisions? What if I make a big mistake?

I know that you can read all the parenting books your library has and still not quite understand your kid.

And even if you did, here comes the next kid. This one very different from the first kid and he or she will make you throw everything you know about children out the window.

Children are complex and what works for one won’t work for another. Throw special needs into the mix and you have added another layer to try to figure out.

After my boys go to bed and the house is quiet I sometimes think about where I am in my life. I was the one who wrote “Mommy” as a child when asked what I wanted to be when I grew up. I am living my dream. Three healthy boys to love and to raise. However, it is sometimes hard to sit back and enjoy it when you are going from kid to kid to dog to house to business and it all seems a little too much.

But in those quiet moments, I can think about my boys and what they mean to me. The ways they made me laugh that day instead of the ways they made me cry. I can think about who they are today and who they are going to be in the future. I see myself in them. I see my husband in them. These children that we created.

The truth about parenting is that it is unexpected, it can throw you for a loop, it can make you laugh and make your cry, all in the same afternoon. Parenting can cause you to swell with pride when you are having a good day and make you rethink everything on a bad one. It’s fulfilling and it isn’t. It is everything and yet just a part of who I am.

The truth about parenting is that you really have to take it one day at a time because otherwise it will overwhelm you in a way nothing else ever could. But at the end of the day, every minute, every hard and difficult minute is worth everything.

the truth about parenting

How many children do you have? How old are they???

 

Want to connect with other moms who get parenting? Head on over to Hello Mamas to connect 🙂

 

See Ya, 2015, 2016 Is Here

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See Ya, 2015, 2016 Is Here

Happy 2016! It’s the first day a new year. A fresh page. I love the feeling you get when a new year starts and the old one becomes just a bunch of memories.

2015 wasn’t the best year. Not at all. Looking back, it was a strange year. It seemed to go by fast overall but there were a lot of days when it just dragged.

My husband started a new job right before Christmas last year and it was very difficult for all of us. He was not home as much as we needed him to be. This caused a lot of stress and frustration for me. The good news is that last week he started a new job which should be a lot better for us. I am excited to see how 2016 is going to play out and still a little nervous about what his new job is going to be like.

Military spouse blogger

He is still in the National Guard and will be for another 17 months. I think I finally have figured out how monthly drills are supposed to work.

Although I went through a lot of personal stress and frustration in 2015, a lot of good things have been going on with my own work. I started writing for Homefront United and She Knows. I have continued to write for Military Shoppers. I have been working on my blog and social media more than I ever have the last few months and I am so glad I did.

military spouse blogger

I am still selling Scentsy and will continue to do so. I just can’t seem to stop loving all the new scents and warmers they keep coming out with. I love to help my team and my customers find the right scent for their home.

I also have a few projects I am working on and always trying to learn as much as I can about blogging, working from home and freelancing. I also really want to finish my first novel. I have been writing stories since I was five but I always give up on them. I started writing a new one this summer and I really want to go all the way with it. My problem is finding the time to write after everything else I have to do. But I know I  just need to make the time. That is the only thing holding me back.

Military spouse blogger

 

My boys are doing well overall. I am thankful for that. I have a 4th, 3rd and a preschooler this year. Next fall we will have all three at the same school. It will be the only year that they will all be at the same school and it will be interesting for sure. My “baby” will be going off to Kindergarten and that will be emotional for sure. That change also means that I will be able to add a lot more work time hours to my schedule.

My 3rd grader is my son with Asperger’s. We still have plenty of challenges but this school year has gone really well overall. We honestly have more issues at home which is different than in the past. I am excited to see how the rest of the school year goes and how he will learn and grow as he gets ready for 4th grade in the fall.

We still want to move to California and working towards that goal but I am afraid the move is not going to happen in 2016, which I am okay with. My mother-in-law is coming out to visit us soon. A few weeks after she goes home, my Dad will be coming out and then my mom should hopefully be able to visit in the late spring. I am so thankful they can come out and visit because it is so hard to be away from family and it is our number one reason for wanting to move back.

military spouse blogger

As I look at the new year ahead I think about all the things I want to do more of. I want to take more photos with my DSLR, I want to focus more on my blogging and my work at home goals, I want to declutter more of my home and make a few changes, I want to make new friends and join another book club.

What about you, my readers??? What are YOU most looking forward to in 2016?

Will you be moving somewhere new? Is your husband coming home from a deployment? Will you be adding a new child to your family? Publishing a book?

Let me know in the comments. I would love to hear from you 🙂

 

Top 10 Posts Of 2015

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Top 10 Posts Of 2015

It’s that time. We are down to just 2 more days of 2015. Has it been a good year for you? I have to say, I had a pretty difficult 2015. I am excited about 2016. I am excited for new opportunities, more growth and more family time.

When it comes to the blog, I wanted to share my top 10 posts of the year. Go check them out if you haven’t already.

  1. 5 Great Work at Home Job Ideas– Want to work from home but just not sure what you can do? Here are some ideas.

  2. Why You Should Say Yes To A PCS To Germany- If you ever get the chance to PCS to Germany, you should go. It might be difficult at times but it will be worth it.

  3. Why You Should Use A DSLR If You Love Taking Pictures– If you love taking pictures you should start using a DSLR. It is so worth it and a great way to learn photography.

  4. The 5 Stages of Watching Your Best Friend Move Away– Did you have to say goodbye to a friend this year? It’s hard and there seems to a process we all have to go through when it happens.

  5. What I Miss About Active Duty Life– 2015 was the first full year of living life after active duty. Here is what I miss about it.

  6. Guide to the First 30 Days of a Deployment– Getting ready for a deployment? Use this guide to help you through that first month which can be quite difficult to get through.

  7. Struggling With Anxiety When Your Spouse Is In The Military– Do you struggle with anxiety while having a spouse in the Military? It just adds some extra frustration to an already hard situation. Know, you are not alone.

  8. It’s Okay Military Spouse, It’s Really Okay, I Have Been There– Military life is hard. But you are not alone. A lot of other people have gone through it in the past too. You are going to be okay.

  9. Paris, War and the Military Spouse– This is the post I wrote after what happened in November. Such a hard thing to deal with.

  10. Supporting Your Spouse’s Military Career– How you can stand by your spouse and help them through their career.

Thank you all for your support and love this past year. I hope you have a great New Year’s and a wonderful start to 2016.

Saying Thank You To The Military This Holiday Season

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“This post was sponsored by the MetLife TRICARE Dental Program as part of an Ambassador Program for Influence Central.”

Saying Thank You To the Military During the Holiday Season

Being a Military family during the holidays can be difficult. That is why is it so important to remember those people who are serving during this time of year. Sometimes they are home and are able to spend some time with their families and other times they are far away, missing their spouses, children, and other family members during a time when most people get to spend the holidays together.

It is so important to thank our service members throughout the year but especially during the holiday season. There are a lot of great ways to do this. I know for our family it is important to be there for others when they are missing someone during the holidays. When someone is overseas and away from their families it is nice to know that their spouse has friends to depend on back at home.

Care packages can go a long way as well. I enjoyed getting packages together to arrive in time for Christmas when my husband was away from us because of the Military. I knew he would be able to share some of what I sent with others in his Unit. I also remember receiving a few care packages myself and they really helped me feel better during my husband’s deployment. Small things like that can go a long way in helping say thank you to the members of the military and their families.

If you do not know any Military members personally, you can give in other ways. We have been able to give to different Military organizations that help the Military in different ways. From Christmas presents to helping those who have been injured. Take some time to look around your community and see where you can help those who serve. Even the smallest of donations can go a long way in helping the Military community.

MetLife also wishes you a happy holidays!

It is important to maintain good dental care, even during this time of year. The TRICARE Dental Program benefit includes the recommended cleanings twice a year, three times a year for those who are pregnant or people with diabetes. Two fluoride treatments are also covered within each consecutive 12-month period.

It is important to know that the TDP offers a network of over 250,000 locations worldwide. You can visit the website to find a dentist near you if you don’t already have one.

In the National Guard and Reserves? If you are enrolled in the TDP, network dentists can complete the Department of Defense Active Duty/Reserve Forces Dental Examination form -DD Form 2813 for them which will be done at zero cost.

Additional Resources:
2015 Winter Health Matters Newsletter:
MetLife TDP website: www.metlife.com/tricare
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MetLifeTDP
Twitter: https://twitter.com/metlifetdp

What is your favorite way to say thank you to the Military???

 

 

I Wish I Could Go Home For Christmas

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When You Wish You Could Go Home For Christmas Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

I have not been in my parent’s home for Christmas since 2005. That makes me sad. It really does. I have not even been in California for Christmas since 2007. When my husband and I got married we thought we would spend every other Christmas with each family. That was when my parents were only nine hours away and his were 10 minutes away. Christmas wasn’t one of those things I thought much about when we moved away from California.

Every year, for the past 7-8 years we have spent Christmas in our own house. It’s been quiet, refreshing and quite nice. But…there is still a part of me that wishes it could be different.

I wish that we could all get ready to go to the airport, get on a plane and land in Orange County to spend our Christmas break there. To see family, go to a Christmas Eve service together, put my children to bed with dreams of Santa in the same room I used to sleep in, get together with friends who are also visiting from out-of-town, open presents as a big family instead of having to send them or just to be together during the holidays.

When I was growing up we would spend Christmas in our house or at my Grandparent’s house and my aunt and uncle would be there too. That was nice, it was fun to be with family, watch my Grandpa take his time with his gifts, eat a big family Christmas dinner and make Christmas cookies with my Grandma.

It’s hard to be away from family. It’s even harder during Christmas. If only we made a little more money, if only tickets were not so expensive, if only we actually lived in California too and at most had to ride in a car for a few days.

This isn’t my reality right now and I know that. I will cherish our quiet Christmas this year. Where we don’t have to go anywhere, no rushing around. Where my kids will wake up in their own beds on Christmas morning. Where I can make a small meal and enjoy that time with my little family of five. Someday we will be able to join our families for Christmas. We will either be able to fly out to see them or live right there too.

If you feel sad this week because you can’t go home for Christmas either, I can totally relate. Whether it is because you are stationed too far from home and it is just not going to work to go this year, whether you or your spouse can’t get off work or whether you don’t have a good relationship with your family so that going home will just make life a little harder.

While it seems like everyone is hoping on a plane for home, that isn’t true. So many people are missing someone this year. All we can do is make the best of what we have and enjoy a smaller Christmas this year. We can still make a lot of memories with our own little families, visit with friends and enjoy something new that we might not be able to if we went home.

As the song says, “I’ll be home for Christmas, if only in my dreams…”

Are you sad that you can’t go home for Christmas too? What do you like about staying home?

Why You Should Start A Blog In The New Year

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Why You Should Start A Blog In the New Year

2016 is almost here! Have you thought about your goals? What about starting that blog you keep thinking about?

I have totally been there. For months and months, I thought about starting a blog before I actually did. Then one day, I started a blog and I am so glad I did. Starting a blog can be a great way to have your own place to write, to connect with others and to bring value to people in the world.

A lot of people want to start a blog because they feel like they have something to say. Others think that what they have to say isn’t important enough for others to read. This simply isn’t true. The internet is a big place. Even if you feel like what you want to blog about is unique, there are other people out there that can relate to what you are saying, you just have to find them.

Blogging is your place to write.

It is your canvas on which to put your words. Even if you don’t think very many people will ever read it. You can just write in a private journal, I do that too. But when you have something to say, sometimes you really want people to read it. A blog can give you that freedom.

With comments you can have conversations with other people about what you are blogging about. You can ask for input or read about others who have gone through something similar. Having that type of interaction is nice and you can’t get that from writing in a private journal.

Blogging allows you to connect with others.

When you start a blog and start posting and sharing, your words are going out into the world. Through blogging you will be able to connect with other bloggers and readers. You will be able to make friends this way and learn more about blogging and your world. Once you have started your blog, look for blogging communities to connect with. Find other bloggers on Twitter and Facebook. Not only will you learn more about blogging and your niche but you will also make friends with those who are doing the same thing you are, writing in a blog. I have really enjoyed all the people I have met because I decided to start my blog six years ago.

By connecting with your readers, you become a real person. You can do this by talking to them on social media, responding to their comments and just recognizing that they are there. It can be very fulfilling having a relationship with those who follow you.

Blogging can bring value.

Whether you blog about motherhood, photography or any other topic, your posts can bring value to others. Sometimes you won’t even know how many people you will touch with your words. There is something really fulfilling about pouring out your heart on a certain topic and then hearing that it touched someone. Blogs bring value in lots of different ways. By bringing value to others you can help and inspire them. It’s a great feeling to know you are able to do that just by writing a blog post.

Blogging is a great thing to do. If you have been putting it off, 2016 is your year. Even if you start slow and don’t get a lot of writing done, you should at least get started. Think of a theme, a title and get going with it. You will be so glad that you did.

Will you start a blog in 2016? What will it be about?

5 Fiction Books To Put On Your Reading List

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5 Fiction Books To Put On Your reading list

2015 is almost over and it has been a good book year for me. I have read 55 books this year which is up from previous years. I read a lot of fiction this year. I love to lose myself in a good book. As I look back over all the books I read this last year, I wanted to talk about my top 5 and encourage you to add these books to your list if you haven’t read them yet yourself. I think you will enjoy them.

The Nightingale by Kristin Hannah

This book takes place in WW2 France. Vianne has to say goodbye to her husband as he goes off to war. Her sister Isabelle is a young 18-year-old looking for her purpose. She is sent to stay with her sister when the Nazis invade France. The book goes back and forth between the sisters and what they are dealing with during the war. This is one of those books that really gets to you. Even though it is fiction, you know that a lot of what the sisters experience really happened to people during the war. This was such an emotional book, but even weeks later I can’t stop thinking about the characters and how their lives were changed because of what they went through. Purchase on Amazon.

 

Me Before You by Jojo Moyes

This one was a pretty quick read for me. I have never read a book like this before and I found it hard to put down. Louisa Clark takes a job working as a caregiver for Will Traynor. He is wheelchair bound after an accident. Up until that time he lived a pretty amazing life and he is having a very difficult time with the way life is after the accident. The book is about their relationship and how Lou grows as a person. I really liked her character and you just didn’t know how the book was going to go. The other characters, like her family also play a role and add a little bit of humor to the book as well. Purchase on Amazon.

 

Fall of Giants by Ken Follett

If you are a fan of historical fiction you will love this book. It is the first book in a three book series about five families. This books has them going through WW1, the Russian Revolution and the struggle for women’s suffrage. There are the stories of a Welsh working class family, an American law student, the aristocratic family, a German spy and two Russian brothers. It is so interesting to watch all these characters interact and go through their lives interacting with real events and people. The story starts in 1911 and ends in 1925. It is a long book but worth it, even if it takes you a long time to read it. Purchase on Amazon. 

 

What Alice Forgot by Liane Moriarty

Alice is 29, in love with her husband and expecting their first child. Then she comes to on the floor of a gym to find out that she is 39, getting divorced and has three kids. She can’t remember any of the time in-between. The book is all about her learning about her “new” life and trying to adjust, but it isn’t always easy. I can’t imagine what it would be like to wake up from something like that and hear that you hated your husband or that you had kids you didn’t remember. This book is a mix of humor and relationships as Alice tries to remember what she forgot. I plan to read all of Liane Moriarty’s books as I love each one of them. I have also read The Husband’s Secret and have started Big Little Lies.  Purchase on Amazon.

 

The Forgotten Garden By Kate Morton

A little girl has been left abandoned in 1913 Australia. She is taken in by the dockmaster and his wife and raised along with their own children. When she is 21, she finds out how she ended up in her family but doesn’t know much more then that. Years later her granddaughter Cassandra follows up on the searching she did during her life in hopes of finding out the truth. I loved how this book went back and forth between the time periods, revealing a little more of the story the more you read. I had heard about Kate Morton a few years ago, but 2015 was the first time I read one of her books. Purchase on Amazon. 

 

What were your favorite books of 2015? What do you want to add to your reading list in 2016???