Okay, I hear the panic in your voice. You just moved across the world to an overseas location, maybe Germany, or Japan, or Guam, or somewhere you have never been before, and you don’t know a soul. And to add to that, your spouse deployed soon after. Before you even finished unpacking.
I have been there myself. I moved to Germany with my 18-month-old to join my husband, only to get pregnant and have him deploy for over a year just a few months later. We were still settling in when he left.
When Your Spouse Deploys Right After an Overseas PCS
You just want to cry all day long. You just want to fast-forward time. You just want to get through the months apart, but how are you going to do that?
All your friends are half a world away. You don’t even know what to do for fun in your new home. What in the world to do?
Take a Deep Breath: You Are Not the Only One
First of all, take a deep breath. Remember, you are not the only military spouse who feels this way. So now that we’ve got that out of the way, let’s commit to turning this deployment from a survival exercise to a thriving exercise.
Is it going to be easy? No! Are you going to break down sometimes? Yes. But there are things you can do to get through this season of deployment.
When Deployment Starts Right After an Overseas Move
Moving overseas and then saying goodbye to your spouse soon after can feel like too much all at once. You are still learning where the grocery store is, how your new community works, and what life looks like in a place that does not feel like home yet.
- Start small. You do not have to figure out your whole overseas life in one week.
- Make a plan. A calendar, a few goals, and things to look forward to can help the days feel less endless.
- Find your people. Look for spouse groups, local events, neighbors, book clubs, playgroups, or anyone who helps you feel less alone.
- Explore one step at a time. A short walk, a new café, a USO event, or a photo walk can help your new home feel less overwhelming.
Start With a Simple Deployment Plan
Next, I want you to buy a monthly calendar. I also want you to grab a journal, a pen, and a hot cup of coffee or tea and sit down at your dining room table.
Okay, once you have done that, I want you to take your journal and make a list of all the things you have ever wanted to do, learn, or start. Maybe you wanted to learn how to edit videos and start a YouTube channel. Maybe you wanted to start running. Maybe you want to get back into reading?
Fill Your Calendar With Things to Look Forward To
After you have made your to-do list, you need to start planning. Take out your phone, head to Facebook, and look up events in your area. Join a group for your duty station. Join a group for your new country. And fill up that calendar.
If you like to read, put book releases on there. If you love movies, put those too. Add when your favorite TV shows are coming out. The goal? Have something to look forward to each and every day.
“You can miss your spouse and still build a life in your new home.”
Find Friends at Your New Overseas Duty Station
Now, it’s time to find some friends. You are going to want to go to things that interest you. See what groups they have locally that you can join. That’s where you will start.
You also have neighbors; smile and say hello when you see them. Make conversation.
So now you should have a deployment to-do list, things on your calendar, and a plan for making friends. Now, you need to fill in the gaps.
Explore Your New Home One Small Step at a Time
If you are still looking for things to do, here are some more ideas:
Take a walk around your new duty station, or the areas surrounding it. Go on a photo walk. Try a new food. Sign up for a USO trip or an event. Just go and do one thing a day.
You Can Miss Your Spouse and Still Build a Life Overseas
The truth about deployments is you will miss your spouse, but with a little bit of planning you can find your way through. While you might be tempted to crawl into bed and stay there for months on end, you know that is not the best way through.
Each military spouse has to find what works for them. Whether you work outside the house or are an SAHM. Whether you have a lot going on, or you need to fill up your calendar. Find what works for you and use this time of deployment to grow as a person, work on projects you may not have had time for before, and make some memories for yourself. You will be glad you did.
Frequently Asked Questions About Deployment After an Overseas PCS
What should I do if my spouse deploys right after we move overseas?
Start by giving yourself time to adjust. Then make a simple plan for your deployment season: fill your calendar, find local groups or events, explore your new area slowly, and look for other military spouses who understand what you are going through.
How can I make friends at a new overseas duty station?
Look for duty station Facebook groups, spouse groups, book clubs, playgroups, USO events, local classes, and neighborhood opportunities. You do not have to meet everyone at once. Even one good connection can make deployment feel less lonely.
How can I stay busy during deployment overseas?
Create a deployment bucket list, plan small outings, start a hobby, read more, take walks, explore your new community, sign up for local events, and give yourself something to look forward to each week.
Is it normal to feel overwhelmed after moving overseas as a military spouse?
Yes. Moving overseas is a major transition, and deployment can make that transition feel even harder. Feeling lonely, overwhelmed, or unsure of what to do next does not mean you are failing. It means you are adjusting to a lot at once.
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