Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

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To the National Guard Spouse, During These Times

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To the National Guard Spouse, During These Times

If you are married to a member of the National Guard, you know they might get deployed. The National Guard does go on deployments to places like Iraq, Afghanistan, and other parts of the world, just like the active duty military does. They can also get activated or called up when the country needs them.

The National Guard will go and help after a hurricane or tornado. They assist in disaster relief and have even been activated to be at the border. But now, it looks like they are going to be needed once again, to help our country during this COVID- 19 crisis.

If you are a National Guard spouse, you either know your spouse is going to have to go or know that they could be. While other friends are getting ready to spend possibly more time with their spouse, you are on the edge of your seat wondering when and if they have to go. And when they do, what they will have to do, and how long they will be away.

So to my fellow National Guard spouses, this isn’t an easy time for us. We might not be sure what is going to happen. We are just not sure how this will all play out. And the public doesn’t always respond well when the National Guard is called up.

And the thing is, we really can’t talk to anyone who has been through this exact type of thing before. Because what is happening now, hasn’t ever happened before. The entire world is dealing with this virus and we are not sure how long any of this will last.

So what can we do? How can we stay sane through all of this? How do we handle all the emotions that come with waiting to find out what will happen with our National Guard service member?

A lot of what we can do is similar to the unknowns associated with a regular deployment. I know for me, during deployments, there were times when I had no idea when my husband would be home.

Maybe two months, maybe six? I really didn’t know. I didn’t know what the future looked like or how long I would have to solo parent. I just had to take it day by day. And that is how I am going to have to go about this in these times.

I am going to need to stay busy, although how I normally stay busy is going to have to change. I can’t go meet a friend for lunch right now or take my kids to very many places. Movies are out. Chuck E Cheese is out. Playgrounds are out. We have to stay at home as much as possible which I know is going to be challenging.

If my spouse does have to go away, that will add another layer to this staying at home business. It won’t make it easier that’s for sure, but I am hoping we can find a good way to handle all this. We might have to be more creative.

We National Guard spouses will also have the fear of what our spouse is going to be doing. Will they be in contact with the virus? Will the public become afraid of them? It’s so hard to know what being activated or called up for this will entail.

I am going to try to stay away from being fearful or all the what-ifs. That’s a hard road for me to go down. I want to stay positive. But that isn’t always easy for me to do.

I also know, this might be yet another challenge for us to endure. Life isn’t always easy and as a National Guard soldier, this is a part of his job. Still, that doesn’t mean it is going to be easy to get through, no matter how long it might last.

If you are a National Guard spouse too, know that I am right there with you. This is a scary time, but at least we can help each other through. Know that no matter what happens, we are not alone and not the only ones going through this. That is so important to remember.

I thought I had this year figured out. But everything has been turned on its head. From school, to how we spend our free time, and now to what my husband is going to be doing. I’m going to try to take it one day at a time.

“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I’ll try again tomorrow.” –Mary Anne Radmacher

Our New Normal, Under Coronavirus

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Our New Normal, Under Coronavirus

Schools are closed. Churches are closed. Disneyland is closed. Coronavirus is here and changing everything about our lives.

Is this real life? That is the question I have kept asking myself the last few days. Can all of this really be happening? What does it mean for us? What does it mean for my kids?

The truth is, we are living in a new normal, and we don’t know how long things are going to be so different. We don’t know what things will be like a few days from now, a few weeks from now, or a few months from now. And while in some ways, it can remind you a bit of military life, we are used to canceling plans after all, it still feels like we are going to be living in a new normal.

On Friday night, right before I went to bed, I saw the news coming out from the DOD. The military made some decisions that will affect service members, and their families, especially those getting ready for a PCS.

Military.com has posted, Here’s What the Coronavirus Travel Ban Means for Military Families, which is super helpful to know what is going on with the travel ban and if it affects you and your situation. Army Wife 101 also has a great post on what is changing as it refers to military families.

As I read the news, I already know how hard this was going to be on military families. Those about to leave a duty station they can’t wait to get away from, families who are temporarily separated waiting for children to finish up the school year, and those that are just unsure about what will happen the next few months.

In this new normal with Coronavirus, life is going to be strange. And we all don’t even know what living this way means. Every day means new news, and new closures, and new worries. But we just have to keep on doing what we can to stay healthy and get through this time.

So many of us will be home with our kids for who knows how long. Our local schools here are only supposed to be closed until the end of the month but I can’t see this all being over by then. I am preparing myself for them being home much longer than that.

We are supposed to be practicing social distancing, which is why so many places and events are closed or will be closing, but I know how hard that can be. Being home with small children can be a challenge, not being able to go anywhere, will be an added one. Even though I know social distancing is what we are supposed to do, getting my mind around the realities of it isn’t easy.

It is one thing to have your kids off of school. Spring break is coming up and we are used to that. It is another thing to stop playdates, trips out to places like Chucky Cheese or the bowling ally, or anywhere else where we probably shouldn’t go during this time.

I know my plan is to try to just take it day by day. I am going to try to think of positive things we can do at home, and make the best of this time together. But I am only human and I know it is going to affect me emotionally, it already has.

I work from home full-time, so while I can work from home while my kids are there, it is going to be a bit of a challenge for me. Before this week I felt like I had finally found a good groove with my work at home life and of course, all that will be different now. I need to adjust my mindset a bit.

I think too it is so important that we remember to have love and grace for others during this time. Not everyone is in the same situation, and what might seem like a minor disappointment to one, is truly hard for another to take.

Hearing that your PCS orders have changed or that you won’t see your spouse when you thought you would can be pretty upsetting. Even if you understand the reasons why. Even if you know it is for the safety of everyone.

We don’t all have the same resources, and we won’t all experience the same changes with this new normal with Coronavirus. Some will be able to work from home during this time, and others will have to go without a paycheck. Some will be able to be surrounded by family and others will be alone. Some will have extra resources, and others will have to make do with what they have.

I also think it is important to be aware of what is actually going on. You can follow the CDC’s website for a lot of good information. You should also be aware of what is happening in your state and local community. So far, a lot of what is happening is based on where you are living.

Know that even though this is scary, and even though there are so many unknowns, we are all in this together. Let’s be kind to one another, extend a lot of grace, and try to make our way through this new, hopefully, temporary normal.

On Supporting Your Spouse’s Military Career

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On Supporting Your Spouse's Military Career

Military spouses all come from different places. Some met their spouse after they were already in the Military. Others started the journey together after a few years of marriage.

Some met, married and became a military spouse all within the same year. Ask any group of spouses about how they became one and you will find there are a lot of different answers.

One thing is clear. No matter when you became a Military spouse, you want to do what you can to support your service member.

But how do you support your spouse’s military career if you are frustrated with the Military life and want something different? What if your career is on hold because of military life but you don’t want to wait anymore? What is the best way to support them when life gets in the way?

When it comes to the Military, some people join for just a few years and others make it a career. Some service members don’t know what they want to do when they start.

Some service members want to go career and decide not to, others want to do a couple of years and then end up going career.

The main thing is figuring out what your service member is thinking, what will work best for your family as well as a general plan of what the next few years will look like. For my husband and me, when he joined, it was for three years, then we would readjust and see where we were at.

Keep in mind that things can change when it comes to military career plans.

There are a lot of people who wanted to make it 20 years but had to get out for different reasons. Things change and the whole family has to adapt. This can also be extremely difficult for the service member and the spouse.

Keeping the line of communication open is very important. There is a BIG difference between a soldier who wants to be in for the rest of his career and one that is getting out in a couple of years. They have different goals and should make different plans.

You need to know where your spouse stands. If the Military is something they have always wanted to do, if they have signed up and working towards promotions, you need to be able to be there for them.

If you enjoy Military life and your spouse really wants to get out and do something else, stand by them too. Be there and work together to come up with a plan for after the Military life.

The most important thing, military or not, career military or one enlistment, is that you are on the same page and support one another.

This isn’t always going to be easy, but it is something we military spouses know too well. And as times change, it will get easier and easier to be able to accomplish your own goals, right along with your service member spouse.

In today’s military, military spouses work full-time, they go to school, they work from home, and they work hard for change when there are roadblocks.

Being married to a service member, unfortunately, means you will have to sacrifice something.

Maybe you assumed you would be raising children down the street from where you grew up, but now your spouse just got orders to Germany. Maybe you assumed that you would stay at the same company for years, but then the love of your life felt they needed to join the military, and all that changed. Maybe you never thought you would have to say goodbye to your spouse for months at a time, but that is exactly what military life has brought you.

The reality is, supporting your service member isn’t always going to be easy but there are little things we can do to show we care. From care packages, to love letters, to simply being the person back at home they can count on.

Be open with your spouse, check-in with one another, and be the one they can count on during military life.

How have you personally supported your spouse’s military career over the years?

New to Military Life? You Need This Book!

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The Newbie Guide to Military Life
Hello my dear friend! It is so good to have you here! We are so excited to share this amazing resource with you!

Let me lay a scenario out for you. Your SO is packing, getting ready for your family’s first deployment. You help gather the necessities, packing that bag to its maximum ability and checking off the packing list. They are leaving for months…months…You didn’t want to think about it. They are leaving in the morning and your mind is going a hundred miles per hour. What are you going to do with your time? How are you going to stay SANE?

After all, you have been told that deployment is “normal”.

Then you try looking at the LES, and note that the SDGI is higher than you thought and you wonder why you are getting BAS, BAH or COLA. Plus they are going TDY OCONUS soon and probably should just GOBach but you are trying to decide if you should PCS along with them…

Wow…

Speaking of PCS, should you do a DITY or a PPM move? How are you going to find the best pediatrician, dog park (can you even move your dog?) or should you even get on the waitlist for on-base housing? What about finding new friends and a support system? As a NEW MILSO, all of these situations can come into your mind. 

And you may be wondering how to find the answers to your questions!

Having a spouse as a member of the Armed Forces, it likely doesn’t take you long to figure out there’s a whole lot about military life that can be downright confusing. Many times we have wanted to scream, or throw our hands up and just run away.

That is why we created this guide! This guide focuses directly on you as a new MILSO and gives you some insight into some of the more frequently asked questions. Whether you are male or female, with kids or without, we all have questions when we begin this military life. 

Does This Sound Like You?

  • Feeling alone in military life?
  • Confused by all the acronyms?
  • Experiencing your first deployment?
  • PCSing for the first time?
  • Is TRICARE stressing you out?

Then you need this guide!

No matter what you are experiencing as a new MILSO, this guide is here for you—like a best friend pushing you along on this new journey! Look through the chapters and print-ables to give you some simple yet helpful insight, tips and tricks as you navigate.

Noralee and Julie hope that this guide will give you the confidence to begin and steps to take in order to make your years as a MILSO the best you can! Because as we have learned over the years, sometimes the hard way, military life will continue to surprise you, but with the right information you will be able to not only survive, but THRIVE! 

Hear What Other MILSOs Have to Say!

“Julie and Noralee have, once again, gone above and beyond for military spouses. Their MILSO 101 book is perfectly titled, a summary of key basics any military spouse or significant other might want to know. Whether it’s deploying, moving, or just finding your footing in your new military life, Julie and Noralee give you things to think about, actions to take, and provide their typical style of realism and comfort. Even after 15 years in military life, I found some nuggets. I appreciated their checklists and an appendix of resources and links, divided by chapter, making it incredibly easy to locate additional information on topics covered.”

-Jen Pasquale, Founder of Pride & Grit

“I so wish I’d had this book when I first became a Navy wife! Even now, seven years later, I learned so much! Whether you have questions about deployment preparation, where to live, a PCS or even how to see the doctor, Noralee and Julie have your back! In true military spouse fashion, these ladies have a wealth of knowledge and a heart for sharing it with others. I cannot recommend taking advantage of their experience enough!”

-Rachel McQuiston, Owner and Chief Care Package Maker, Countdowns and Cupcakes

“Where WAS this book ten years ago!?  Encouraging, informative and insightful- “The Newbie’s Guide to Military Life” is the gift I wish I had for myself as a brand new military spouse.  It’s also the gift I plan to give to those I love as they begin their own military spouse journey.  Noralee Jones & Julie Provost have taken what you can only learn through years of experience and distilled it into a single resource.  This guide would have saved me untold hours of research, frustration, trial and error.“

– Becky Hoy Founder, Brave Crate

Included in this guide!

  • 10 Chapters based on the most frequently asked questions from new MILSOs
  • Handouts and worksheets to supplement chapters and bring solutions!
  • Resources list with links and specific posts broken down by topics
  • Guide for Acronyms, PCSing list, and more!
  • PLUS a guest handout from Rachel with Countdowns and Cupcakes!

Let us help you journey from confusion to confidence as you navigate the first few years in this new life. Read it from cover to cover or take it one topic at a time as they come up. This guide is perfect for personalizing to your needs! 

Don’t Delay! Grab Your Copy Today!

And don’t forget to visit my amazing co-writer, Noralee, at MrsNavyMama and sign up for my mailing list for even more military spouse support!!!

How You Can Celebrate Veterans Day With Your Military Family

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How You Can Celebrate Veterans Day With Your Military Family

This is a sponsored post for T-Mobile with Sofluential Media!

Can you believe it is November already? This year has flown! Whenever we get to this time of year, I start getting pretty excited about the holidays. But before we get into Thanksgiving and Christmas, we get to celebrate Veterans Day, a day to recognize and honor all veterans.

Living in a military community, there are a few things we can take part in around here. Our city has a pretty cool Veterans Day parade that involves the community – one year we were able to ride in the parade with my son’s boy scout troop and we are hoping to be able to attend again this year.

As a military family, Veterans Day can be a big day. You probably want to find events near your home and make plans to celebrate your own veteran. You can search social media for local events, check what your city or town is doing, and look into what your military installation has going on.

When it comes to discounts and free meals, many different restaurants, zoos, amusement parks, and even small businesses offer different types of perks for those who have served in the military. Last year, my husband was able to pick out a free meal from a restaurant in Nashville, and one year I went out to lunch with a group of my friends in honor of the holiday. A few of them were veterans themselves and they were able to get their meals on the house.

We have also gone to our local zoo on the Sunday of Veterans Day weekend, as they have a free day for veterans and members of the military. There really is a lot you can do around your area to celebrate the veterans in your life! Speaking of a Veterans Day parade, did you know that T-Mobile is sending over 100 veterans, military family members and allies to the Veterans Day Parade in NYC? As you might already know, T-Mobile is committed to supporting soldiers, veterans and their families and have various initiatives ranging from recruiting, career assistance to an unbeatable Military-friendly network plan. Per usual, T-Mobile goes above and beyond to support the military community and have organized a weekend full of networking events to help these employees take the next step in their career and march in one of the biggest Veterans Day events in the nation!

At T-Mobile, they provide their employees with opportunities to get involved, support and celebrate their veteran community year-round.  Just this year alone, their diversity and inclusion teams have organized over 800 events and counting for employees to attend.

T-Mobile also goes beyond exclusive discounts (although they do have those too – check out their Magenta Military plan) to provide career assistance and community support to service members, veterans and their families. They’ve committed to hiring 10,000 veterans and military spouses by 2023 and are involved with organizations like FourBlock, Recruit Military, and Hire our Heroes to make sure service members across the nation have the employment support they need. As you can see, T-Mobile lives up to their commitments and is a industry-leading champion for our military community! 

I hope you enjoy celebrating Veterans Day with your veteran or service member 🙂

How You Can Help Your Children Through a PCS

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How You Can Help Your Children Through a PCS

One of the challenges of raising kids in a military family is having to move more often than civilian families. A lot of military families move once every three to four years, sometimes even every two years, or less. As a parent, you want to figure out how to best help your children through a PCS.

This means that many military children attend many different schools and are often the new kid or having to make new friends because all of their friends moved away. This part of the military life can be a struggle.

As a parent, how do you help your children through a PCS?

How do you help them understand that this is all apart of your lifestyle?

What can you do to make PCSing every few years easier for them?

Helping Your Children Through a PCS Before You Leave

  • If your children are quite young, you probably won’t be sitting down with them about the PCS. You will just be working to try to make the process a smooth one. They might notice changes in their home and that is important to recognize as well.
  • For an older child, you will want to let them know what is going to be happening ahead of time. Then they have time to get used to the idea and spend some time with friends that they are going to have to say goodbye to.
  • Get them excited about their future home and new duty station. Let them know some of the fun things you can do when you get there that you can’t in your current area. Let them help with picking out a new place to live or which room they will have. Give them a little bit of control when you can give it to them.
  • Having a goodbye party might be a good idea too. Your kids can invite their friends for one last party. A goodbye party can be a way for them to say goodbye to all of their friends, and make a few memories while doing so.

Helping Your Children Through a PCS After You Arrive at Your New Duty Station

  • After you get to your new location, explain to your kids what they can expect at their new school. This is especially important if you move in the middle of the school year. School-age kids are going to want to know what they are walking into.
  • Find out exactly what they are nervous about and talk things over with them. That will go a long way in helping them get used to their new surroundings. They might have worries and fears you haven’t thought about and good communication is the best way to work through them.
  • Make sure you are taking them places to meet new friends once you get to your new home. Check your local MWR for kid’s activities and events to go to. If you have smaller kids, you can take them to the park because most likely there will be other kids to interact with there, and maybe other parents for you to meet too.

The most important thing is that they know that you are in control of their future, even if you are not totally sure what it looks like. Your kids will look up to you and will want to know that everything is going to be okay. Let them talk to you about what they are feeling and do your best to help them out.

Keep in mind that each of your children might handle the PCS differently. You could have one child be completely chill about everything and another bothered by any type of change.

The truth is, you know your own children, their personalities and what they might need. You can apply this to a PCS just like you would any other situation. That is going to be the best way to help your children through a PCS.

Here are a few helpful links to help your children through a PCS:

Are you moving to a new duty station soon?


The Gifts You Can Receive During a Deployment

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The Gifts You Can Receive During a Deployment

I was so thankful to have met Jennifer at MakeHer this past October. She has an amazing blog and website, dedicated to military spouse support. She truly has a heart for military spouses and the military community! Enjoy this post she wrote about the gifts you can receive from a deployment!

Deployment number five, C.H.E.C.K

Though still many weeks away, I can’t escape the quiet excitement at the thought of wrapping up another deployment. This weekend, I found myself thinking that as much as I don’t enjoy being without my husband for nine months, I can’t help but be grateful for the blessings these months have given me.

Yep, you read that right, blessings!

Deployments always challenge me, and yet the challenge with each is revealed differently. I’ve been a girlfriend, a newlywed, a 1st-time mom, a tired mom to a toddler and newborn, and twice. I’ve navigated solo parenting as a part-time professional and full-time mom of two young, rambunctious kids. Five deployments, in nine years.

I’m the first to admit that this was the hardest of our five. If I could have known then what I know now, I’d tell the new mom to stop worrying. Dad’s absence in those early months won’t impact his ability to connect with his son. I’d say to her to sleep more and clean less. I’d tell her that waiting months to un-decorate the house after a major holiday is totally acceptable. I’d remind her that chicken nuggets and pizza are sometimes just what everyone needs. Oh, the things I’d tell her!

For those who’ve been there, we wouldn’t wish this kind of separation on anyone. And yet, deployments remind me to appreciate small moments with our kids, knowing their dad would give anything to enjoy that same moment. The kids and I have seen each other at our worst and our best, day after day, and we’re better for it. Through hardship, I was given a chance to get to know my children in a way I might not have otherwise. It’s hard not to be grateful for that gift.

For me, deployments have a “grounding” effect. It’s an opportunity to remember all that I love most about my husband and our family. It’s an opportunity to renew my appreciation for all the quiet contributions he makes to my life and our family’s life. And this time, even more than previous separations, I was reminded that my world just isn’t the same without him in it. It’s so easy in the day to day bustle to forget the things that matter most. Deployments force you to notice. I consider that a gift.

So, number five was different. And the differences took me by surprise. Dad’s presence (or absence) was noticed like never before – at the dinner table, during bath time, during midnight runs to the ER, during a myriad of “firsts,” during birthdays or school award presentations, or even on a day of kite flying in the front yard. Dad was missed in prior years, too, but this was different. This time the kids were old enough to ask, to miss, to cry, to be angry, to be sad in ways they’d never felt, and I’d never had to console.

I was different too. This time, sending packages and writing letters were things I just didn’t make time for – or at least not as often as I felt he deserved. And yet, thanks to the gift technology gave our deployed family, we have Skype-d, Facebook-ed, and remained connected in a way that changed this experience for all of us.

My husband was able to hear our young daughter’s vocabulary bloom in real-time, and I have been able to see the smile that his children’s laughter brings to his eyes and his face. Perhaps because you know what is at stake, those moments carry so much more weight than a typical Sunday afternoon family interaction. And I’ve cherished them, especially when I leave our 4-year-old alone with her dad and come back to find them playing peek-a-boo with the web camera and each other. I feel like separations are often overrun with moments like this that make your heart simultaneously break and swell with love.

I knew my husband loves our children. I knew he was a great father, but to see the simultaneous joy and pain in his eyes when he talks to our children over a webcam – well, there again, a gift of sorts. Watching him watch them changed how I saw him.

Many talk about the sacrifices of the military spouse, not just the Soldier. It’s true. There are sacrifices on both sides, but there was never a moment when I felt mine were greater than his. In addition to being reminded of my own strength I, perhaps for the first time, truly understand my husband’s strength, and it will forever change how I see him. Yet another gift.

Before he left, as is a tradition of ours, he hid about 20 notes around the house for me to find. On each, a word of encouragement or just a phrase to make me smile. And for nine months, I’ve been able to wake up and go to bed each morning seeing my collection of notes that now line the mirror on my dresser, reminded in bright pink that I am cherished. Another gift.

So yes, I’d give anything to have had my Soldier home these past nine months. And yes, this letter would read far differently if he hadn’t come home to me, to us. Even still, when I think about the impact of these months apart, I cannot imagine a path that could have helped me learn so much about myself or my husband in such a short amount of time. I can’t imagine a life other than this one, with all its challenges and its blessings.

Through each separation, I am forced to remember, and then somehow manage to forget, that I am stronger than I believe. Perhaps someday I’ll learn how to hold tight to that lesson.

There are always blessings, even during deployments. You just have to be willing to see them, embrace them, and treasure them. We ALL have our bad days, but seeing some sun in this experience is what makes it tolerable. And if you let it, this experience that you’d prefer not to have will allow you to thrive and grow. Another gift.

Written in 2014, this letter sat on my computer as a reminder of what hard looked like. It eventually became the inspiration for my site, Pride and Grit. Our five deployments have ranged from 4 months to 15 months, totaling 46 months over nine years. Jennifer Pasquale is a military spouse of 13 years, 7 moves, and 5 duty stations. Through her site, Pride & Grit (www.prideandgrit.com), Jennifer is giving life to stories of military hardship from which others can draw strength and inspiration.

Deployments can be so difficult to go through, but the good news is, there is a lot of deployment support out there. Please visit the deployment support section of my blog, and know you are not alone in your military spouse journey.

Secrets to a Happy Military Marriage, in GIFs

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Secrets to a Happy Military Marriage, in GIFs

Being in a military marriage can be pretty unique, depending on your situation. Moving every few years, saying goodbye for months at a time, and living in a military community has its ups and downs.

What is the secret to a happy military marriage?

Well, here you go…in GIFS!

Don’t sweat the small stuff. Even though they can’t seem to ever put their clothes IN the laundry basket.

via GIPHY

Be forgiving. Even if they have to go away for training during your kid’s spring break, for the third year in a row. Remember, the military is making them do this.

via GIPHY

Have a regular date night. Even if that means having a special dinner after the kids go to bed because you just finished a PCS and don’t know a single person to watch your kids.

via GIPHY

Write love letters. Just don’t forget to actually put them in the mail and send them. Sure, they can read them when they get home, or four years later when you are cleaning out your desk.

via GIPHY

Remember, both of your careers matter. Even if the military makes it hard to follow yours. Through five different states in eight years. Can I transfer my license here?

via GIPHY

Listen to each other, even if the connection isn’t the best and you can only talk for 5 minutes at a time during a deployment.

via GIPHY

Remember, deployments don’t last forever, even if it seems like they have been gone for 43 years.

via GIPHY

Don’t compare your relationship to the highlights of other relationships. You never know what is really going on behind an Instagram filter.

via GIPHY

Seek extra outside help if you need it. I know TRICARE can be a pain sometimes, but they do cover counseling to help you and your spouse out.

via GIPHY

Be honest. About what you are dealing with, about your career path, and about how you feel when they hog the bathroom. Oh wait, would you consider that “small stuff?”

via GIPHY

Talk to one another about your finances. You have to get on the same page about how to spend your money, and you need to let them know that the Walt Disney World military discount is an amazing one!

via GIPHY

Learn your spouse’s personality. This is something that can take some time to figure out. The longer you are married, the easier it will be to figure it out. And if you are stuck, you can always take a Buzzfeed quiz about them.

via GIPHY

Help one another out. We all have our strengths and weaknesses. For example, you hate to cook, they love the kitchen. You are handy with tools, they would rather hire someone to fix whatever is broken. You love finding a new place to live after a PCS, they got sick of that years ago.

via GIPHY

Keep your promises. For example, if you say you will wait for them to watch the next season of Blue Bloods, wait for them. If you don’t, they will know. They always know.

via GIPHY