Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

Military Life

Thanksgiving When They Are Deployed

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Thanksgiving when they are deployed

Thanksgiving When They Are Deployed

It was 2006 and my husband had just left for his 1st deployment. We were about three months in when it was time for Thanksgiving. We were in Germany on a smaller post so almost everyone I knew had a deployed husband. Instead of spending the holiday alone a bunch of us got together and spent the day talking, eating and letting the kids play.

It was the best idea we could have had. Instead of being sad about our husbands not being home we got to enjoy the holiday together. I was pretty pregnant with my middle son but I still really enjoyed myself. Some of the wives were even able to video chat with their husbands during the meal making it feel like the husbands were not so far away.

Even years later I think about that day and how it was a perfect example of Military wives working together to turn a bad situation into a good one. We all had each other and enjoyed spending the day making memories even though we had to do so without our husband there.

Another great thing about doing this is that we got to try new foods that might have been special to another wife that we had not ever had during Thanksgiving. It gave us a chance to share food or traditions that were special to us. This was a lot of fun and it was great to try foods I would never have thought to make for myself or my family.

Now I am looking at another Thanksgiving with a deployed spouse. I have plans to spend the meal with a very good friend, her family and a bunch of other people. This year it won’t be a group of wives with deployed spouses but I know we will have fun and will enjoy the day. We will be with friends and we will be making memories just the same.

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In other years we have gotten together with other Military families who did not go home for the long weekend. Not everyone can make it back home for Thanksgiving. It is nice to be able to do that so you don’t feel so alone in being without family for the day.

One of the things about being a Military spouse is that sometimes holidays are spent with friends, not family. You make the best of a situation and go with it. By doing this you become closer to each other because of the bond spending a holiday together can bring.

If you are going to be without your spouse this Thanksgiving, think about who you could spend it with. Think about how next year your spouse will probably be home and how this is just one year of many that you have to spend without each other. And remember, it is just one holiday and if you want to keep it small, you can do that too.

Have you ever spent a Thanksgiving with a deployed spouse? What did you do to get through?

Take A Vet To School Program

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My post for Everyone Serves for Blue Star Families will be about the Take a Vet to school program.

I think it is so important for younger people to understand what has come before them. To know their history and what others have done in the past. It can help shape them and give them different interests than they might not otherwise have.

I think the Take a Vet To School Program is a great way to help kids understand about the past. What they do is organize events on Veteran’s Day or leading up to it in the school setting. They can be just a one class visit or an assembly for the whole school. Students will get to learn about the history of Veteran’s Day and hear from vets about what they have done in their lives. Not everyone comes from a Military family so it is nice for these kids to learn more about what it means to serve your country.

Both of my grandpas served in the Military. They are no longer with us so I can not ask them about their time in the service. The Take a Vet to School program can allow children to hear stories from the peers of their family members that might have passed away. They can hear about what it was like to serve during the same time one of their own family members served.

If you are interested in this program you can visit Got Your Six for more information.

What better way to educate our youth on Military service then to connect them to the people who have been there and served their country proudly? And although Military children might be used to the uniform, civilian children might not be. This is a great way to bridge that divide between Military families and Civilian ones.

 

Follow Blue Star Families on Facebook, Twitter, and Google+ and build a support network so you can keep your family and personal community strong throughout the duration of the entire deployment life cycle.

The Military Community And Why It Matters

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30011-2My post for Everyone Serves for Blue Star Families is going to be about the Military community and why it matters.

 

The Military community. Other families going through what you are going through. It matters and it is important.

Our first duty station as a family was in Germany and the Military community over there is a lot closer than in the US. You have to be. You are all over there together making your way through deployments and other Military adventures. No one really can just go home during the weekends. A trip back to the states is expensive and a lot of people don’t even make one during their time overseas. There are less service members stationed at each place and in some cases are only made up of one or two brigades. Because of that most of the community deploys together.

After all of our deployments I can tell you that having a strong Military community is so important. The stronger it is, the easier it is going to be for the family when their loved one is away.

Yes there can be drama and no you do not have to take part in every aspect of it. But it is nice to make friends with others that know what you are going through. Who know what it is like to miss someone so badly that you want to cry your eyes out. Who know what it is like to be afraid every time someone knocks on your door. Who knows what it is like to go from deployment to deployment wondering when you will get a real break.

It helps to meet others who may have given birth without their husband, who left everyone they have ever known to PCS to an unknown place, and someone who also gets frustarted when their spouse has missed all five of their son’s birthdays just like your spouse has. It is just nice to find people who can understand all of that.

The military community matters and it is very important to the welfare of the service member and his family.

How have you been connected in your Military community?

 

Follow Blue Star Families on Facebook, Twitter, and Google+ and build a support network so you can keep your family and personal community strong throughout the duration of the entire deployment life cycle.

Homecoming Banner Signs.com Review and Giveaway

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Disclosure of Material Connection: I received one or more of the products or services mentioned below for free in the hope that I would mention it on my blog. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will be good for my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Well…it is almost that time to start seriously thinking of homecoming.

One thing most people do to prepare for it is to get some type of banner. I have usually had a mix of a banner that I had ordered and banners we made by hand.

The banner I had used in the past only has two of our three boy’s names on it so I knew I wanted to order a new one this time.

When I was contacted by Signs.com to review on of their banners I figured it was perfect timing.

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I decided to go with an camo looking banner although they have many other types to choose from. You can go with a Military theme, animals, holidays, real estate and more.

If you have a banner need, they should be able to fill it.

The ordering process was pretty easy. I just needed to decide on my background, what I wanted on the banner and the size.

How would you like to win your own banner? Enter the Rafflecopter bellow to win your own 4ft by 2ft banner!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Also you can get 15% off your order for entering the code “SWCL15” in your order.

If you don’t need a banner right now, Signs.com also has yard signs, vehicle decals, magnets and more. If you have a business you might want to check out the vehicle decals to put on your car. You can find a premade one or customize it from scratch.

Distance Makes The Heart Grow Fonder

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He has been gone four months now. 120 days.

I miss him so much as you can imagine.

I miss his jokes. One of the first things I noticed about him was his sense of humor. It is silly and cheezy and I miss it.

I miss it when he holds my hand. Whether we are walking in the mall or going out to lunch.

I miss telling him about my day and all the stupid things no one else really cares about it. I tell that man everything and for four months I have not had that.

I miss him with the boys. From playing outside with Daniel to trying to get Drew to laugh to helping Joshua on the playground.

Army CoupleI miss him drinking more coffee than I do.

So far during this deployment we have been pretty much been able to talk with each other on Facebook each and everyday. I have not heard from him since Monday. Usually I can go about 3-4 days before I get upset about not talking with him. So that is about where I am at. I am trying not to get upset but it is hard. It is so difficult to not be able to talk to your other half on a regular basis. There have been so many times when I have something to say to him and can’t say it.

I almost feel like our relationship is “on hold” in a way. Not that we are currently not married or anything like that. Just that we can not have anything close to a normal relationship while he is gone.

They say “distance makes the heart grow fonder” and I think it has been true for us. You get to a point in the deployment where you start thinking about everything nice you have done together over the years. You remember all the things you fell in love with and you look forward to the future when you can be normal again.

As homecoming gets closer you think about how it will feel to be in his arms again. To be his wife, not just in name only. To be able to act like a couple instead of just remembering it.

This homecoming will be very special for us. It will be the last one for us. In the past when he has come home from deployment I always thought, “He is mine, for now…” This time, I will not have a future deployment to think about. That makes me even more excited for him to come home.

As I look back over the years I wonder what our relationship would look like if he had never left? If we were one of those couples that had never spent a day away from each other. I also wonder what it will be like when he doesn’t have to go anywhere ever again. After years of him being home and then not, will I miss that independence? I just don’t know.

Have you felt that distance has made you and your spouse stronger?

 

How Does The Government Shutdown Affect Americans

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Today’s post for Everyone Serves for Blue Star Families will be about the Shutdown.

Well it happened. The government shutdown. And while Active Duty Military will still get paid, a lot of other people won’t.

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A lot of things are happening and it is frustrating to watch. I hate that the government has shutdown. I personally believe it didn’t have to be this way. I just hope it doesn’t last long and is resolved quickly.

The fact is this shutdown is hurting a lot of Americans. These same Americans are the ones that voted for the people who have caused this. I get so frustrated thinking about this. I am not sure if congress thinks they are helping or what. They are not.

So how is the shutdown affecting people? I asked this question on my personal Facebook page as well as my blog page and my Twitter account.

This is how the Government shutting down is hurting the American people…

* Many who work for the government are being asked to stay home. They will not be paid. This is especially difficult when that person is making most of the money for the family.

* WIC is in danger of running out of funds. I know a lot of people who depend on WIC as a part of their monthly budget.

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* Monuments in Washington DC have been closed. People who have planned trips to National parks and other Federal places are not able to go on.

* Combat pay will be delayed. That extra money we can use for paying off debt, not going to see it again until this is all over.

* Drill has been or might be cancelled for some Reserve/National Guard. What this means is the extra money the family is counting out will not be earned this month.

* Commissaries will be closed. While I don’t personally feel it is the end of the world here as we do have a lot of other grocery stores in the area, I really feel for people in places like Hawaii or those that will have to pay a lot more to just buy regular groceries.

There is more that could be added to this list and the longer this goes on, the worse it is going to get. I really don’t understand why those in power can’t see how badly this is and will hurt Americans. It doesn’t make any sense to me. On a personal level I am pretty annoyed that my husband will not be getting his combat pay but I know others are in a lot more trouble. Many will be going without their regular paychecks. Many will have to figure out a different way to get by. It is such a frustrating situation and I hate that this is happening.

How have you personally been affected by the government shutdown?

Follow Blue Star Families on Facebook, Twitter, and Google+ and build a support network so you can keep your family and personal community strong throughout the duration of the entire deployment life cycle.

 

The Military Should Always Be Paid

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download (19)You have seen the news. The government could get shutdown. This could mean that the Military will not get paid on October 15th like they should be. The pay will be delayed.

Luckily, three banks that a lot of Military members bank with are going to help people out. While I am so thankful for this and while it will allow most of us to not feel the pinch as badly, it still really sucks for morale.

No one in our Military was drafted. Every single person who serves made the decision to do so on their own. The Military is the job they decided to do and how they are supporting their families. In some cases the Military member is the only one bringing in a paycheck. Having that regular paycheck is the pay off for a difficult life. If your spouse is deployed, you will receive extra money which helps with what you are dealing with. This can be a good time to pay off debt, save for the future or just catch up on bills.

So whether the Military member is deployed or not, that money is very important. To not get paid is a huge slap in the face.

While it is true that you should have an emergency fund, some do not. While it is true that you should be prepared for something like this, some are not.

But beyond whether a family has enough money this October, what does not paying the Military do to morale? It crushes it. From the single soldier serving in Afghanistan to the Mom of four trying to hold it together while her husband is deployed for the fourth time. To not get paid feels like a blow. To have to figure out how to make a paycheck stretch that much more is added stress Military families don’t need.

I just pray that everything will work out, that the Military will get paid and that our government can see how important it is that we always, without a doubt, pay those that put their lives on the line for their country.

 

 

Why Everyone Serves Is A Must If Your Are Going Through A Deployment

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This week I will be writing about why every Military Spouse needs a copy of Everyone Serves, a great handbook for those getting ready for a deployment, going through one or in the months after the deployment is over.

Living the Military Spouse life requires a lot of support. Support from family and friends. Possibly support from a church or other religious organization. There are many resources to take advantage of. Everyone Serves is one of them.

This book is a handbook for those of us going through the hard reality that makes up a deployment. When you are going through something like that, you need all the help and support that you can get.

You can read straight through it or look up the section you need at any given time. It can make you feel better about what you are dealing with. It can make it so you don’t feel so alone in your thoughts.

The worksheets can get you thinking about your experiences and the emotions you go through when your loved on is away. It can help you see things you might now be aware of. By watching videos of other Military families, you can hear their ideas and know that you are not going through this alone.

Not everyone has a good local support system. It just doesn’t work out sometimes or the family moves to a new location right before the service member deploys. Using Everyone Serves is not a replacement for real life friends but it can help sort out some of the issues you might be going through if you don’t have anyone local to talk with about it.

The great thing about this guide is that it is free. Anyone who needs to can go and download it. Have you gotten a copy for yourself yet? You should. Even if a deployment is not in your near future. It is always good to be prepared 🙂

 



Follow Blue Star Families on Facebook, Twitter, and Google+ and build a support network so you can keep your family and personal community strong throughout the duration of the entire deployment life cycle.