Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

Military Life

Living in Monterey, California

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Living in Monterey, California

When the orders for Monterey, Calif., arrive, you will rejoice because you get to live at one of the most picturesque places in the world. Then you will calculate the cost of living in Monterey and thank the military that you will only live there for a short period of time. Monterey’s cost of living is 68 percent higher than the U.S. average.

 

The Monterey Bay Coastal Recreation Trail is great for biking, walking and running in Monterey. The trail runs along the coast. Here is one view from the trail near Pacific Grove.

The Monterey Bay Coastal Recreation Trail is great for biking, walking and running in Monterey. The trail runs along the coast. Here is one view from the trail near Pacific Grove.

 

Monterey was our No. 1 choice for Navy orders. Actually it was our dream location. We have been in Monterey for 11 months and are scheduled to move before the end of the year. This is our fifth duty station and it’s above and beyond my favorite location. I love the relaxed atmosphere of the community, the availability of fresh produce yearround and the Mediterranean climate. It’s the first place we’ve been stationed at where I feel I could live here for the rest of my life. I won’t discuss leaving Monterey. I’m completely in denial.

If you are stationed in Monterey, plan to spend time exploring Highway 1 at Big Sur. In the winter, you can spot whales in the ocean while photographing Bixby Bridge, one of the most photographic bridges along the Pacific Coast.

If you are stationed in Monterey, plan to spend time exploring Highway 1 at Big Sur. In the winter, you can spot whales in the ocean while photographing Bixby Bridge, one of the most photographic bridges along the Pacific Coast.

Service members who find themselves in Monterey are either students or instructors. More than 3,500 soldiers, Marines, sailors, airmen and DOD employers attend the Defense Language Institute Foreign Language Center at the Presidio of Monterey. Hundreds of service members arrive straight from boot camp to become proficient in a variety of languages ranging from French to Farsi.

Less than 4 miles away is the Naval Postgraduate School, a fully accredited research university operated by the Navy since 1954. At this university, military officers from the United States and 48 other countries earn master’s degrees and doctoral degrees. Notable graduates include Admiral Michael Mullen, former chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff and General Michael W. Hagee, 33rd Commandant of the Marine Corps.

Monterey, located nearly 120 miles south of San Francisco along the Pacific Coast, is a location where you want spend every day exploring locally owned shops, sipping wine at the tasting rooms in Carmel, tasting farm-to-table restaurants, or kayaking in the bay. But as a military spouse be prepared to make friends quickly because for either DLI or NPS students, the curriculum is intensive and your soldier will find himself studying more than 8 hours a day and on the weekends. We thought my husband would have tons of free time when we moved here. He doesn’t have weekend and evening duty, which is a blessing, but he does spend a lot more time in classroom then we expected.

In our time in Monterey, we've taken family photos among the redwoods, near Cannery Row and at the beach. This photo was taken at Point Lobos State Natural Reserve.

In our time in Monterey, we’ve taken family photos among the redwoods, near Cannery Row and at the beach. This photo was taken at Point Lobos State Natural Reserve.

The majority of military families live in military housing. There are two main options. Families live either at The Parks of Monterey Bay, a privatized housing area managed by Pinnacle or the Ord Military Community, which is located on the former Fort Ord. Both housing areas have indoor pools, childcare facilities and elementary schools. The commissary, exchange and gas station are located at the Ord Military Community.

If you are moving to Monterey, get your name on the waiting list for military housing as soon as you have orders. There is always a waiting list for housing in Monterey. The same can be said for daycare.

Is Monterey an ideal location? Not for everyone. The weather is foggy, damp and chilly. The beaches are breathtaking, but don’t expect to wear your bikini in Monterey. The average high temperature is 72 degrees in the summer months. Some military spouses miss the heat and humidity. Not this spouse. I got my abundance of heat when we were stationed in Yuma, Ariz., and Okinawa, Japan in the past. I love the clouds and don’t mind wearing a jacket in June.

Monterey is also a “buy local” city so if you love certain national chain restaurants, such as Olive Garden, you will complain about Monterey. If you buy all your craft supplies at Hobby Lobby, you will complain about Monterey. If you want drive-thru fast food, you will complain about Monterey.

If you like locally-owned cafes where they only accept cash, you will love Monterey. If you like buying locally-grown produce, you will have the option of a farmers market every day of the week. If you like the sounds of seals barking in the water to the loud music of nightclubs, you will enjoy your time in Monterey. If you don’t mind battling tourists for a view at the Monterey Bay Aquarium or a camping spot in Big Sur, you will love your time in Monterey.

I am a fan of Monterey and recommend it. I just hope I don’t go broke loving my life in Monterey.

Freelance writer Michelle Volkmann is a Navy spouse and mother to 2 Disney-obsessed daughters. She has worked for newspapers and magazines around the world. She survives on bacon and coffee and hates washing dishes. She is scheduled to move in December, but she doesn’t know where the Navy is sending her family. Please stop asking.

Last Day Of Active Duty

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My husband has just finished 10 years, 11 months of Active duty service.

Four deployments to a war zone for a total of 35 months deployed.

Two to Iraq, two to Afghanistan.

Four duty stations, Ft. Drum, Schweinfurt, Grafenwoher, Ft. Campbell.

He missed Drew’s birth, missed my 30th birthday and many other things over the last 8.5 years.

We got to see places we never would have and met some amazing people over the years.

We made it. Now, on to the next chapter…National Guard life, here we come 😀

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Memorial Day When You Are a Military Spouse

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Memorial Day When You Are a Military Spouse

Today is Memorial Day

A day when most Americans remember those who have lost their lives to war. A day when most Americans have a day off, go to a parade and bbq. This is just what we do on this day.

But for the Military community, Memorial day is a little different. We do usually have the day off, go to a parade and bbq. But we also remember those who have lost their lives. But for each of us, it gets a little more personal. Each of us knows a Gold Star family. I know of four of them personally. Four friends who became widows during our past deployments.

They are who I think about on this day.

  • I think about how we all said goodbye to our husbands together, yet some did not return.
  • I think about my husband telling a fellow soldier what it was like to be a Dad, only to have that soldier lose his life the very next day. His wife was pregnant with their first baby.
  • I think about reading that email about the soldier who died and realizing I knew that last name. It belonged to a friend of mine.
  • I think about hearing my husband talk about his buddy. How they had a lot in common. How he was a family guy too. And then receiving a phone call while I was in Vienna of all places, that he had also been killed in action.
  • I think about the fence outside the elementary school in Germany with the photos of those who we had lost during that long 15 month deployment.
  • I think about the little children that will never know their own fathers because they died before they were old enough to be able to remember them.
  • I think about the older children that still feel the loss so greatly years later.
  • I think about the Moms sending their children off to war only to get the knock on the door that they were not coming home.
  • I think about the end of a Memorial service when they call for the soldier and he does not answer. I think about how heartbreaking that really is.
  • I think about the table that sits empty at every Military Ball.

This is what I think about on Memorial Day. I can’t help it. As a Military spouse, I have experienced all of this. It is real. Not just something that happened 50 years ago.

So when you are enjoying your day off and having a bbq, please remember the Gold Star families who are missing someone. Remember what they have been through and what they have given up. Say a prayer and remember that freedom is just not free. It always comes with a cost.

 

Full Measures by Rebecca Yarros Book Review

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FullMeasures_500I get excited when I hear about Military Spouses that write their own books. I am a big reader and I love lots of different types of fiction. I have been following Rebecca Yarros’ blog, The Only Girl Amoung Boys for a while now. When she asked if I wanted to read an advanced company of her new book, Full Measures, I was very excited to say yes.

 

Full Measures is considered an NA book which I have learned means “New Adult” which are books written about young 20-somethings that are trying to figure out how to be an adult. No longer a teen but not quite into full adulthood yet.

She knew. That’s why Mom hadn’t opened the door. She knew he was dead.

Twenty years as an army brat and Ember Howard knew, too. The soldiers at the door meant her dad was never coming home. What she didn’t know was how she would find the strength to singlehandedly care for her crumbling family when her mom falls apart.

Then Josh Walker enters her life. Hockey star, her new next-door neighbor, and not to mention the most delicious hands that insist on saving her over and over again. He has a way of erasing the pain with a single look, a single touch. As much as she wants to turn off her feelings and endure the heartache on her own, she can’t deny their intense attraction.

Until Josh’s secret shatters their world. And Ember must decide if he’s worth the risk that comes with loving a man who could strip her bare.

 

Now I will say that the book does deal with some sensitive topics. The story starts out with the death of Ember’s father who was killed in action. I know that can be hard for some in the Military community to read about it. It is also has some mature scenes in it.

I thought this was a great read! Even though it dealt with a sad situation, the book was about a girl trying to figure out how to get life back to where she could really live it. The relationship between Ember and Josh is an interesting one. There were tears, laughs and lots of not wanting to put the book down. I love it when that happens with a book.

I can’t wait to read Rebecca’s next one 🙂

You can purchase the book on Amazon for just $.99 for your Kindle. Go check it out 🙂

 

 

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received one or more of the products or services mentioned below for free in the hope that I would mention it on my blog. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will be good for my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

From Active Duty To National Guard

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Joining the national guardLast week we made a change to our plans. Ben enlisted in the National Guard. People have asked us if this was planned and that is a hard question to answer.

Before Ben’s last deployment we had talked about it. We knew it would help with health insurance and just allowing us some extra security. However, as the last deployment started I just felt like I couldn’t stand the thought of another deployment.

We decided against it but both of us still wondered if maybe it was the way to go. I just kept coming back to the deployment thing. Lately I had been thinking about it more but I didn’t say anything to Ben. It was just in the back of my mind.

Last week, Ben called me from work to ask if it would be worth joining under certain circumstances. I told him I wasn’t sure but it did sound like it would help with a lot of what we were trying to figure out in our post Army future.

We made the decision to go for it. At first it felt surreal. The last couple of months I have been saying goodbye to army life. From the commissary to the PX to the ease of getting on post. I was worried about healthcare and losing Tricare. I was getting ready to call around to get our new healthcare set up.

He has his first drill in July. We will get new ids. We will still be able to go on post. Living in a Military town, that will be nice.

It is funny how things can change in one day.

 

Any of my readers National Guard spouses?

 

How Growing Up In The Military Prepared Me For Life As A Military Spouse

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This guest post is by Jen. You can find her at Injenious Life 🙂

How Growing Up In The Military Prepared Me For Life As A Military Spouse
I grew up as a military brat. My parents met in ROTC and my dad spent his career in the Army. By the time I was 21, I had moved 13 times in my life. Both my grandfathers served in the military, my brother served in the Army, so when it came time for me to make my life choices, the Army seemed like the most logical choice.

Growing up was exciting. I have driven (nearly) across the entire country. I’ve lived in Germany and we got to visit many countries while we were there. A trip to Spain corresponded with my birthday so I love to tell people, “oh, for my 8th birthday, I went to Spain.” I’ve only been skiing once but it was in Austria, on the Alps. So exotic.

13940671212714I spent my “formative” years in one place though, Kentucky. There, I learned how to drive but since it was a small place, I never drove on an interstate highway until I was 18 and a freshman in college. Now? I’m a pro. It seems so strange to think that it took me that long to drive on one.

I went to college and joined ROTC. Most of my friends were in ROTC too and about half of them were Army brats. Being a part of the Army community just made sense to us. Us, we wanted (still want) to serve our country so that played a part in our decision. But for me? Well, I’m not sure how to operate in a purely civilian world.

I met my husband at work in 2009. We fell in love hard and fast were married 8-ish months later. I came off active duty but still serve in the Reserves. Most of the time, I am an Army wife. I know how ID cards and DEERS works because it’s all I’ve ever known, I never knew how hard it must have been for my mom to have to wait for my dad to be available to take her to the office though. Having a power of attorney is like having the key to a city.

My husband was TDY for our first move together, and of course, it was OCONUS. I had to get the house packed, the cats packed, clean and clear housing, all on my own. Luckily, I knew what to expect. I had lived in base housing before. I know how to clean a house for inspection. I know what to look for when the movers are packing our stuff up. I know what “right looks like.” Luckily, my mom was able to come help with the kids and the drive to Florida and since she was also an Army wife, she helped keep me on track.

Growing up in an Army house has made being an Army wife easier. I understand the acronyms. I understand that just because the Army says we’re going somewhere or doing something, it doesn’t mean a thing until there are orders in our hands and even then, things could change. I feel more “in the know” about how things work on base even. My husband didn’t know you were supposed to tip baggers for like 2 years. I used to be a bagger so I totally understand why the baggers gave him crazy looks. For major purchase, I always check the PX first, my husband NEVER shopped there before we got married because he didn’t know what it was.

Army life is nothing like what you saw on Army Wives (when it was good) and I am grateful for that because it is so much better. Yes, being an Army family is tough but you know what? Sometimes, I see my civilian friends talk about their lives on Facebook and I think “how boring it must be to live in one place, doing the same thing forever?”

What Does It Take To Make It As A Military Spouse?

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“I could never do what you do”

“I couldn’t be a Military wife”

“I don’t know how you guys do it being without your husband for that long.”

What Does It Take To Make It As A Military Spouse?

 

We have all heard people say these things to us. I used to think that anyone could be a Military spouse. All they would have to do is love their spouse enough to stick by him or her.

But now, I am not so sure.

What about the spouses that walk away?

What about the service members that voluntarily leave the Military because deployments became too much?

What about the spouse that suffers from anxiety or depression and thinks the idea of one more separation is too much?

And when we talk about Military spouses, we are talking about people who stood by their husband or wife for a couple of years and those that stood by for 20+. Some people serve longer than others. When it is time to leave the Military, you can have a feeling of just being done. You can’t seem to imagine going through another deployment. I know I can’t. I feel like I have hit my limit.

However, what if my husband didn’t want to leave the Army? What if he wanted to stay and do 20-30 years? What if this was his life long dream? Would that make a difference? I think for me it would.

I think if my husband wanted to stay in it would be a little easier to handle more deployments. If he had a clear plan. If this is what he wanted.

So what does it take to make it as a Military Spouse? We all come from different places, with different personalities and different ways of seeing the world. What do we all have in common that allows us to do what we need to do to support our spouse?

I think in the end it is about commitment. Commitment to your spouse, to his or her work, to the life you must live when you decided to marry them. Commitment to the two of you and whatever path you are going to walk together. Commitment to the family you have created and the life that you are living together.

If you have commitment to each other, you can get through most of what life throws at you. And that is what it takes to make it in this Military life.

 

 

Favorite Military Discounts

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Favorite Military DiscountsOver the years I have been able to receive some great Military discounts from different businesses. These have been my favorite.

Cracker Barrel- They have a 30% Military discount, at least in our area. I have heard the discount does depend on the restaurant so make sure to ask before you assume if they have one. Some might not offer a discount and others might be lower than 30%.

Sea World- Each Military family can get in for free to one of the Sea World parks, once a year. It is for the Service Member and three dependents. You do need to register ahead of time. I am sad we have only been able to use this discount once during our years in the Army.

Southwest Airlines- To get a discount with Southwest you need to call them. It will not show up on the website. The only thing is that a lot of the times they have another promotion with a better rate. It doesn’t hurt to call them. I was able to get a deal when I was trying to fly from Northern California to Southern last minute.

Knott’s Berry Farm– Their discount has been different every time we have gone. One time it was half off. They also used to have one month of the year where Military got in free but I am not sure if they are still doing that one. You can visit their promotions page for more details.

Old Navy– Our Old Navy will always give us a 10% Military discount. They only let you use one discount at a time though so if you happen to have a coupon for 15% off, you have to pick which one to use. Other Old Navy’s have a day or a few days where they offer a Military discount. Some do once a month. It seems to change every once in a while so make sure to ask when you check out.

Lowe’s and Home Depot– I got to these places a lot around this time of year and they both offer 10% off. Just make sure to show them your Military id.

 

Where are your favorite places to get a Military discount?