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Military Life
Childcare During Deployments When You Are On A Budget
So your husband is gone. You no longer have him to help with your kids. No more easy trips to the store to pick up a few things, no more ladies nights, you pretty much have to bring your kids everywhere you need to go.
You can get a babysitter which is nice, but using one often can add up. I know here in Tennessee you will end up paying close to $10/hour for a good sitter. So what do you do when you just can’t afford that but need to have some time for yourself? How do you handle life when you need that break but it feels like that $10/hour is way out of your budget?
This is how I have done c without having to spend a lot of money.
- Trade with a friend. Find someone you trust with your kids and trade-off on babysitting. Neither one of you has to pay a dime. You can do it weekly or monthly or as often as you would like. During one of our deployments my friend and I took turns watching each other kids while we went grocery shopping. It was so nice to be able to do it alone and not have to take my kids with me. We even took turns to go to church on Easter Sunday.
- Take advantage of hourly care. Most duty stations will have a CDC hourly care for you to use. You will just need to sign your kids up at your local CYSS. You will renew yearly from then on. When we were in Germany we were given 16 hours of free care during the deployment. Here at Ft. Campbell we were able to get half-price hourly care which is $2.00 an hour. Not a bad deal at all and they feed them breakfast and lunch if they are there at meal times. I started using hourly care when my oldest was about 20 months old and I was pregnant and I knew I would need something as my husband was getting ready to deploy.
- Take advantage of Parent’s Night Out and Super Saturdays. At each post we have been stationed at they have had Super Saturdays for us to use during the deployment and a few months after he got home. We drop the kids off at 9am and pick them up by 5pm. This was so nice when my husband was gone. I was able to meet friends and shop or just take some time to myself. It definitely made the weekend go by a lot faster. Now that he is home and we can still use it for a bit we are having a great time with spending the day together. Other places in town such as a local church or the YMCA might have Parent’s Night out for you to use. See what is available in your area. You might be surprised at what you can find.
How have you been able to find Childcare During Deployments When You Are On A Budget?
Should You Live On Post During A Deployment?
One question a lot of people have is if it is better to live on post during a deployment or not. Most Military families know that a deployment or even a time of separation is in their future. They have to ask themselves what would be best.
I think that question is a hard one to answer. For some, on post living is best. For others, it is a different story.
Here are a few things to think about when it comes to living on or off post during a deployment-
- When you live on post, you have better access to what the post offers. This really depends on what your own duty station offers and what the city you would be living in offers. For us here at Ft. Campbell, there is a lot to do on post. Since we live off and I didn’t want to drive to post everyday, it was not as easy as it is for those that live there. We don’t do as much just because it is harder to put in the schedule. During a deployment you should be able to received some free or low-cost items for your kids. Here we only have to pay $2/hour for hourly care and each child gets money towards SKIES programs. Being on post can help you take advantage of these benefits a little easier.
- Where do the majority of your friends live? For our first two deployments we were either on post or in Government leased housing. We were surrounded by Military which meant that a lot of my friends lived right by me and they too were going through deployments. We were all dealing with it together. This made it a lot easier to get together and we could see each other almost daily without too much trouble. We could make last-minute plans and it wasn’t a huge deal. For our 3rd and 4th deployments we lived off post away from others who were going through deployments. I could tell the difference. On the flip side if you have some really amazing neighbors, they might be able to really help you out when your spouse is gone. It just depends on where you live and who you live by.
- It might be best for your to live off post during a deployment if you like your own space. If your spouse is deployed, you might not even need to go on post very often. Some people need that break from the daily Military life. If you own your own home you might enjoy working on your house while your spouse is gone. You have a lot more freedom then you do on post. If your servicemember is planning to ETS right after the deployment, you might even decide to take the kids and move to where you plan to live after the Military.
I know for myself that if I was going to have to do it over again, I would most likely want to be on post for a deployment. I think it makes it a little easier for everyone. I would have better access to the activities and people that would help be get through the deployment.
What do you think based on your own experiences?
Want a free Guide for the First 30 Days of a Deployment???
Journey Through Deployment Book Review
Disclosure of Material Connection: I received one or more of the products or services mentioned below for free in the hope that I would mention it on my blog. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will be good for my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”
I love all the support that is out there for us Military spouses. I got the privilege of reviewing an E-book by fellow Blogger and Military Spouse, Kathryn Sneed. Kathryn has been blogging at Singing Through the Rain since 2011. Her blog is a supportive blog for Military spouses and one of my favorites!
Journey Through Deployment: Stepping Forward with Confidence During Military Separations is filled with:
- Tips for preparing yourself and your family for deployment.
- Hope and encouragement to get you through deployment.
- A section for civilians to learn what military life is like.
- Tips for preparing yourself and your family for reintegration.
- Stories, lessons, and journeys of other military spouses just like you!
I read this book as we finished up our fourth deployment and I can tell you it is filled with a lot of great advice for anyone going through a deployment. When your spouse first leaves it can be overwhelming. You might not know how you should feel or if what you are feeling is okay. Having a book like this will help you understand that you are not alone. It can also teach you what to expect as the deployment goes on. I would have loved to have read something like this during our first deployment.
I also enjoyed the stories the author added and advice from other spouses. It really helps to hear from different people as different people do have different deployment experiences.
You can purchase Journey Through Deployment at Amazon or as a PDF file.
Our Very Last Homecoming
I rolled over and realized I had actually slept some the night before. However, it was only about 4 am. I didn’t care. Today was THE day and I figured if I got up and started getting ready, I would have enough time to do what I needed to do before the boys woke up. I plugged in the curlers and I got dressed into the outfit that had been hanging in my closet for about two months. It was just a red sweater and some jeans. I had also bought some new jewelry to go with it. I put the rollers in my hair and tried to eat a little breakfast.
I walked in the boy’s room and my oldest said to me, “Is today the day? Do we have to go to school today?” I had told him earlier that most likely Daddy was coming home on Tuesday and if this were true they would not have to go to school. I also told them that things could change so we wouldn’t know for sure until that morning. Somehow nothing changed from the 14 days call we got about the timing of the welcome home. I thought the date was neat because on December 17, 2006, my husband came back from Iraq for R&R and met his 2nd little boy for the first time. And here we were, 7 years later, getting ready to pick up Daddy from his very last deployment ever.
We have some friends who were going to come with me to help with the boys. I also had another friend coming to take photos. We left the house at about 7am and made our way to Ft. Campbell to find the buses. When we pulled into the parking lot and I could see the other wives, moms and family members it started to feel very real. This was it. The Homecoming. The day everyone who has ever had a deployed spouse has been waiting for.
We got out of the car and made our way to the bus. I knew the boys would be fine with it and think it was fun. The bus ride to the hangar didn’t take very long either. We got out and walked inside. We were greeted by a nice man who told us that there were a lot of snacks and drinks that we could have if we got hungry. The hanger was starting to fill up with people. I noticed quite a lot of Moms and Dads and knew they were waiting for their sons to come home. I saw wives and wives with little babies but not too many wives with older children.
We decided to go hang out in the kids room which was nice. At that time we were not sure how much longer we would have. Time passed, we chatted and let the kids play. We went outside for a bit but it was really too cold to just hang out there. We went back inside and took some “waiting” photos.
Before we knew it they told us to go outside as the plane would be landing soon. Everyone was outside holding signs and just waiting to see the plane. Then my friend said, “I saw it, over there, behind the building.”
By this point you KNOW your soldier is coming home but there is just something about seeing the actual plane that makes you feel like it is really true. Just seeing it land right in front of you is amazing. The plane landed, we all cheered and watched it turn around and try to connect with the stairs. It did and after what seemed like forever, the doors opened and soldiers started coming out. They were pretty far away but I noticed that the fourth guy in walked like my husband. He was the right height too. My friend who was taking photos was able to get a closer picture and it was him! So exciting for us! Once we knew it was him we ran to the other side of the waiting area to see him walk by.
After that we went back inside to find a seat. As we did this we noticed that we could see Ben through the small opening. That was pretty sweet. Before we knew it the men walked in. They have to be very serious when they do this. The rest was pretty much a blur as I was just waiting for them to release everyone. I had told my friend that I wanted to go to Ben first and then the kids could follow me. Once they gave the ok, I sprinted as fast as I could into Ben’s arms. I actually jumped into his arms which I had never done before. It was over…finally. The last 6.5 months were over and he was finally in my arms again. The boys followed me and finally got to be back with their Daddy.
It felt like such a very long road for us. This deployment was something else but now I can finally say that it IS a part of our past and is no longer our normal.
And The Deployment Is Over
Our deployment is FINALLY over!!!
Living In Vicenza, Italy
Happy to have this guest post by Stephany on Vicenza, Italy. Please visit my Duty station guest post page for posts on other locations or more information about how you can write a guest post about where you have been stationed.
From the minute I stepped off the plane in Venice, Italy, I knew life would be a bittersweet combination of challenges and fun adventures. While I enjoy the beauty of Italy’s scenic mountains and greenery, I’ve learned that like any rose bush, Italy has its thorns too.
I had been to Venice a year ago with my husband and was surrounded by Italians who spoke English and were happy to serve American patrons. I naively thought the rest of Italy would welcome us with open arms until I moved here. A new army installation was opening shortly after I arrived (Caserma Del Din) and was violently protested by Italians who cut into the fence and forced their way in. Some Italians don’t want our troops here because they believe it will bring war onto their home front.
I also came to Italy with the preconceived notion that it would be cheap to travel all of Europe. My husband and I went to Rome and spent a little over $400 round-trip just for train fare. We spent close to a thousand total on food, lodging and travel. Needless to say, we haven’t ventured far since Rome. In addition, the cost of living is higher because the US dollar is equivalent to 0.70€.
The obvious solution would be to get a job so we have extra spending money for trips, however, this has proven to be difficult. The US has an agreement with Italy called the SOFA agreement which basically states US citizens can’t work in the Italian economy and 70% of jobs on post must go to Italian citizens.
However, there is a silver-lining to this proverbial thorn bush I call home. For starters, I live in northern Italy which is surrounded by beautiful mountains and it rains a bit which makes all the foliage green. Whenever it rains, the skies are clear the next day and every crevice and snowcap can be seen on the mountains. This is a treat for a Texas girl like myself who is from a drought-ridden city where the grass is brown and the ground is flat.
While I mentioned earlier that traveling can be expensive, there are plenty of places close by to see. Verona, Venice, Asiago (yes, this is where the cheese asiago comes from), and Pisa (you know, the leaning tower) are all within an hour or two away. I went to Verona to see the house of Juliet and even wrote her a letter! I’ve been to Venice a handful of times and I’m going to Milan in a few days! There is so much to see; wineries are everywhere, olive oil factories let you harvest olives and give a tour, and so much more. Surprisingly, there are wives here who are unhappy and it’s because they never get out and explore this beautiful country.
Along with traveling, I’ve enjoyed the food (maybe a little too much!) Italians are all about enjoying their meals and it’s taught me a few things. Unlike fast-paced Americans, Italians believe in enjoying meals and it’s not something to be rushed – it’s a marathon not a race. Dinner is served in courses and enjoyed in a large group of family and friends over several hours of delicious food and conversation. After dinner, it’s customary to drink coffee or even liquor as a digestive. I hope to adopt this belief of enjoying food slowly instead of shoveling it in my mouth long after we move.
My advice to any families PCSing to Vicenza, Italy is to 1) get involved in the military community (FRG, soldiers’ theater, community club, volunteer, etc) and/or make friends. It can get lonely here if you don’t get out of the house and I believe this is why lots of wives are unhappy here. 2) Come with an open mind. It’s a different culture here and it’s a different way of life, driving in Italy is very different (in place of traffic lights, there are traffic circles aka roundabouts), some restrooms are simply a hole in the ground (called a squatty potty because you have to squat to pee). 3) Lower enlisted are only allowed one POV, so make friends with other families so your husband can carpool and you can have a car when you need one. It’s tough having only one car out here but taxes are high if you have two cars and it’s not feasible unless you or your husband are higher enlisted and can afford it.
Stephany is currently living with her husband Travis in Vicenza, Italy. She has a passion for writing and a bachelor’s degree in journalism from the University of Texas, hook ‘em horns! When she’s not writing, she’s out walking her dog or spending time at home with her husband. She loves doing arts and crafts, making salt scrubs, bath fizzies, care packages, and sewing pillows.
Walmart Holiday Salute to Military Families
This is a Sponsored post written by me on behalf of Walmart for SocialSpark. All opinions are 100% mine.
Operation Homefront and Fisher House are coming together with Walmart to Join in our Holiday Salute to Military Families.
This is such a great thing because when you are going through a deployment during the holidays, you need all the support you can get. They can be a lonely and stressful time.
The “Holiday Salute to Military Families” will be spending 2 million dollars in grants for toys, meals and lodging assistance for Military families in need this year. They will also be helping with active duty service members to come home for the holidays to be reunited with their loved ones.
When a deployment comes to an end during the holiday season, it can add a whole new level of stress to a Military family. We wonder if they will make it in time. We want to plan for the day but not sure what it will look like. My husband came home the day before Thanksgiving in 2007. I was so stressed out. Even though I knew we could celebrate later, I didn’t want to be alone on that day. I was filled with so much relief when I finally got the call to pick him up.
Helping families in need during the holidays is such a great thing to do. I feel so blessed by the different organizations that give to Military families during this time of year. We have received meals and I know others have received toys and other items.
As we make our way out of the Military, I am hoping to be able to help Military families in the future by giving to these organizations.
If you would like to help Military families you can give on the Fisher House site or the Operation Homefront site.
Also, I would love it if you share this post on your social media sites and tag a Military member that you are grateful for.
Today is December 3rd and is also called Giving Tuesday! You can tag any of your social shares with #GivingTuesday 🙂