Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

Julie

You, Military Spouse, Are Stronger Than You Think

by Leave a Comment

You, Military Spouse, Are Stronger Than You Think

You, military spouse, are stronger than you think.

Whether you are faced with another year-long deployment or a PCS to a country you never thought you would ever even visit, let alone live, you are stronger than you think.

Whether you are faced with moving somewhere out of your comfort zone or to a place too far from home, you are stronger than you think.

Whether you are struggling with your three kids, three and under, or struggling with infertility, you are stronger than you think.

Whether you just found out you are pregnant, and they will be deployed soon, or you aren’t sure how you will handle the newborn years without them, you are stronger than you think.

Whether you can’t seem to make ends meet or you are upset that you can’t find the right job using your degree, you are stronger than you think.

Whether your spouse joined the military after being married a couple of years or you are about to walk down the aisle to the love of your life, standing there waiting for you in their uniform, you are stronger than you think.

Whether your spouse is deployed to a dangerous location or your spouse is helping out in a natural disaster on the other side of the state, you are stronger than you think.

You see, military spouse, no matter what you are going through, no matter what your current struggle might be or what you have ahead of you, you are stronger than you think. You will get through this, and through your experiences, you will grow stronger with each one.

And at the end of the day, you and your service member will walk through the good and the bad of military life and come out stronger on the other side.

You, Military Spouse, Are Stronger Than You Think

7 Things To Do When Military Life Gets Too Hard

by Leave a Comment

7 Things To Do When Military Life Gets Too Hard

7 Things To Do When Military Life Gets Too Hard

Military life is a rollercoaster. You will have your good days and your bad ones. You will have highs and lows. You will be waiting for orders for months and months, and then you get them, and before you know it, you are on a plane headed to your next duty station.

It’s a strange way to live your life, always waiting and then not waiting and hoping and crying and then laughing. Your emotions are all over the place.

When you hit a hard season of Military life, it can be difficult to know what to do. You want to think positively, but it is hard. You want to keep busy, but all you really want to do is hide in your bed. You want to remember that this too shall pass, but all you see is more lonely nights, more frustrating days, and years of feeling like your life can never be normal again.

So, what do you do when you hit this point? What can you do to get out of it?

Here are 7 things to do when Military life gets too hard:

  • Find a good book. This works so well for me. If I can find a good book to get lost in, I can find my happiness, and I can make it through another day. If you are not much of a reader, you might want to try audiobooks. You can usually rent them from your local library and listen to them through your phone or your tablet. Find a good series to get into, and you will have books to read for months and months.
  • Find a good friend. Sometimes you just need to hang out with a friend. Sometimes you just need to vent it out to another person. Sometimes you just can’t be alone. If you don’t have anyone to call during this time, make plans to try to meet new people. When you get out and meet others, you are more likely to make a new friend.
  • Write in your journal. This can be so helpful. If you don’t have a nice journal, go out and find one you would love to write in. Plan to write in it whenever you are feeling down. Write out all of your thoughts. No one else is going to read it. This is solely for you. Taking time to get your thoughts out on paper can really get you in a better frame of mind.
  • Think about the past. Think about everything you have been through. Think about how hard the past was and how you made it through. Doing this will allow you to see that you have been through some hard times in the past, and you will be able to get through this more challenging period of Military life. It isn’t going to last forever, just like your previous hard season didn’t last forever.
  • Find a new hobby. Sometimes, when we can focus our energy on a new skill, we can forget about how hard life is at the moment. When I knew my husband was going to be deployed again, I decided to get into gardening, hoping that I could focus more on that while he was getting ready to go and after he left. It was nice to have that as a focus, to plant new things, water them, and learn as much as I could about it. Think about something you have wanted to learn how to do, maybe this time in your Military life is the time to do it.
  • Start a blog. When Military life gets hard, you want to find others who are going through what you are. This is why starting a blog can be a good idea. You can make it a private one to just share with your friends, or you can go public and try to meet other Milspouse bloggers and readers. Having your own blog is a  great way to get your story out and see that you are not alone in your struggles.
  • See if you can change anything. When you are in this place, you can feel like the only thing you can do is get through it. Sometimes, there could be something else you can do. Think about your situation and if there is anything that you can change to make it better. I did this during our 2nd deployment. I knew going through another summer during a deployment would be very difficult. I took the boys and spent the summer in California with my family. It was a good break from what we were dealing with and helped me have more support during that time. You might not always be able to change anything but see if you can because it might help you get through it.

Have you ever felt like Military life was a little too much at times? What have you done to get through it?

 

How Military Families Can Go to SeaWorld For Free, Yes Free

by Leave a Comment

Growing up in Southern California, I have many fond memories of SeaWorld. So, when my husband joined the military, I was excited to hear that military families can visit SeaWorld for free, yes, free. Since then, we have taken advantage of the amazing SeaWorld military discount a handful of times.

While most amusement parks offer discounts ranging from 5% to 50% off, SeaWorld provides complimentary tickets to the service member and their family. Here is what you need to know about going to SeaWorld for free:

What is the SeaWorld military discount?

Through the Waves of Honor program, you can receive free admission to SeaWorld San Diego, SeaWorld San Antonio, or SeaWorld Orlando. Every active duty service member can get in for free, plus three direct dependents. Spouses can redeem the tickets if the service member is overseas, but must log in under their account.

SeaWorld San Diego

At Sea World San Diego, you can also get the 2025 Military pass for $99.99. You can purchase this for the service member and family up to six passes. This pass gives you unlimited admission and general parking through December 2025.

SeaWorld San Antonio

At Sea World San Antonio, you can also buy 50% off tickets, for up to six tickets in addition to the four complimentary ones. You can buy the 2025 Military pass, but it ends September 1, 2025.

SeaWorld Orlando

At Sea World Orlando, you can also buy 50% off tickets, for up to six tickets in addition to the four complimentary ones. You can buy the 2025 Military pass with parking for $172.99, up to six passes, to use through December 31st, 2025.

Who qualifies for this military discount?

Active duty military, activated or drilling reservists, and National Guard members.

What about veterans? Does SeaWorld have a veterans discount?

Yes, veterans can also get a free ticket to SeaWorld San Diego and SeaWorld San Antonio, and up to three for friends and family. They can also get up to six tickets for 50% off. Sadly, this promotion ended July 31st. But look forward to next year.

At SeaWorld Orlando, veterans can get up to six 50% single-day tickets.

There are also options for the 2025 Military pass!

How do you get the SeaWorld Military discount?

To get these SeaWorld military discounts, you will need to verify your military status with ID.me. You should also be prepared to show your military ID at the gate.

Quick Links for All the Discounts and Parks

Looking for the latest information about a specific park? Here you go!

SeaWorld Orlando Active Duty
SeaWorld Orlando Veterans
SeaWorld San Diego Active Duty
SeaWorld San Diego Veterans
SeaWorld San Antonio Active Duty
SeaWorld San Antonio Veterans

Enjoy your visit!

Universal Studios, Disneyland and Walt Disney World, and Knott’s Berry Farm also offer military discounts on their tickets.

The 5 Stages of Watching Your Best Friend Move Away

by 14 Comments

Last week was a killer for me. Not only did I lose my iPhone to a pool accident, but my car had a lot of issues, and my best friend here at Ft. Campbell moved away. We met in the summer of 2011 and became fast friends. A few of our boys are best buddies, too. I knew it was coming. I knew she would be leaving right when summer started. I didn’t want to think about it too much because it made me sad, but I knew it was there.

When you are in the military community, you know people are going to move all the time. Sometimes you find someone, hit it off, only to find out they are moving in a few months. This has happened to me several times. But spending almost 4 years together is such a treat. It doesn’t happen often, and I am so happy it happened with us.

But last week I had to say goodbye and it was hard. When it was time to say that last, “see you later…” it seemed a little unreal. Even though I knew it was coming, it was hard to let go.

The last time I said goodbye to a friend like this, I was the one moving. This was the first time I was the one staying, and it feels a little different. While she is on to her next adventure, I am still here trying to find my place now that she’s gone.

I have gone through some stages during the last few months, stages I think anyone who has said goodbye to a dear friend has been through.

Getting the news

This is when you first find out your friend is moving. Their spouse got orders. They have an ETS date. They know when they will be leaving the area.

You take it in stride. You don’t worry too much about it because it is 3 months, 6 months, maybe a year into the future. You feel like you have plenty of time before you have to say goodbye. Plus, things change a lot. Nothing is certain in military life until it happens.

It is coming

So your friend tells you they now have a move-out date, plane tickets, or a range of days they will be leaving the area. This is really going to happen. Your friend is really going to move.

This is when you start to worry about life after they have gone. Who will you sit around and talk about everything and nothing with? Who will you call when you need an emergency babysitter? Who will you make plans with when your husbands are both away or working?

You start to panic a little at the thought. But still. Since it is still weeks away, you try not to get too sad about it.

The Moving Truck

This is real, folks. You see the move with your own eyes. When you walk into your friend’s house, you no longer see that couch you used to sit on when you talked about the ills of the world; you see empty spaces and boxes. You see movers and packing lists, and you realize that they are, in fact, moving and it will be soon. That they really are PCSing away from you.

The Goodbye

You make plans that last week. You want to spend as much time together as possible. You have to work around schedules, and you have to remind yourself that this might be the last time you can actually hang out. And then a few hours open up, and you can get together again. Until you know it has to be the last time.

You know this because they are leaving the area in a few hours. And while you are hanging out together, you realize that it is time to go home, and it will be time to say that last goodbye. That moment you have ignored for months is finally here. And you say goodbye or see you later, and all the time you had together flashes before you, and you wonder where all the time went.

You think of the future and how her little two-year-old might be a lot older when you see each other again. You think about what life will be like without her around, and it hurts a little. You wish her and her family well. You are happy for them that they get to move on to their next adventure.

The Future

You will never ever forget about your friend. You will text, email, and share photos on Facebook. You will hear about their new life and share more about yours.

You will eventually make plans to see each other again, even if it is years from now. You get to a place where, although you miss her like crazy, you accept she is gone and look to move on. You think about the other people in your life and how you still have a good circle around you.

You think about how you will eventually be the one to leave, having to say goodbye to many people when that time comes. You think about how you are a strong military spouse who has been through worse.

It’s hard to say goodbye to a friend, especially one you were very close to. But at the same time, it is something you can deal with and work through.

Have you been through saying goodbye to a good friend? How did you deal with it all?

The 5 Stages of Watching Your Best Friend Move Away

When It Is Time To Say Goodbye, To A Place You Called Home

by

When It Is Time To Say Goodbye, To A Place You Called Home

The day is finally here, and you can’t really believe it. The movers will be here at 7, or maybe 8. Hopefully no later than 9. They will come to pick up your household goods. You will see them again soon, after a five day trip across the county.

You can’t help but wonder how this happened so fast. Sure, you were ready to get out of here, four years is a long time in one place. Sure, you couldn’t wait to PCS, you had been dying to move closer to your family ever since your husband joined the military 10 years ago. But now that this move was really happening? You are a ball of emotions.

You wonder how you will say goodbye to the best friends you have made here. Will you ever see them again? Will they ever be able to visit?

You wonder how you will get to know a new community. That took a while when you first moved here. Will it take that long again?

You wonder how your kids will do. They have to start over in a new school. You know they are scared, how can you help them through?

You are not sure what you should do once you get there. Should you look for a job? Is it worth taking a few classes to get your license in a new state?

As you drink your coffee, waiting for the military movers, you hope you will like your new home. Your current place is the only home your three-year-old knows. There are so many memories in this small home.

You might hate how small the closets are, or how much in BAH you are giving up but this place is home, and now it is time to move to another one.

It is time to say goodbye to a place you have called home, and you know that is never easy.

You have gone through a PCS before, you can do this. You will shed a few tears and then move on like you always have. You will be on the road soon and this duty station will become a memory.

In the years to come, you won’t miss the traffic getting on post, but you will miss all the playdates you had at the park by Starbucks.

You won’t miss how difficult getting a well-child appointment for your kids was, but you will miss the little cafe you would meet your husband at for lunch sometimes, waiting to pick up your son from pre-school.

You won’t miss how hard making good friends here way, but you will miss the friends you did meet, the memories you made, and all the fun you had together.

A PCS is an emotional time for any military spouse. You have to say goodbye to a place you have called home. You might never return, and you might never see these people again.

We are so lucky to live in a time with Facebook so we can keep in touch very easily. We can text our friends as we head our separate ways. We can watch their kids grow up through photos, even though we probably remember them the ages they were when we said goodbye.

We can look forward to starting over in a new place. We trade humidity for Alaskan summers. We trade being close to home for overseas experiences. We learn to live anywhere and bloom where we are stationed.

And after a few years, it is time to move again. To start the process all over. To watch the moving truck come and go.

To clean the house one last time. To pack the car. And watch your past fade into the future.

And there will be tears, and there will be laughter, and there will be hope. Hope that in your new place you can feel at home again soon. That this PCS will be a little easier because you have been through it all before.

You have hope that you will make new best friends, ones you will make some amazing memories with.

You have hope that you will get to know a new community, and your new duty station will soon feel just like home sooner, rather than later.

You have hope that your kids will be okay, and will look at this as an adventurous part of their childhood.

It is time to say goodbye to a place you have called home, and you know that is never easy. But you also know that this move is apart of your military life journey. And that no matter how different your new place is from what you knew before, you will figure everything out, as so many military spouses have done before.

Are you PCSing anytime soon? Where will you be going???

7 Tips For A Brand New Military Spouse Mom

by

7 Tips For A Brand New Military Spouse Mom

Did you just find out you are pregnant? A little nervous about becoming a mom? Not sure how things will go with a spouse in the military?

Here are 7 tips for a brand new military spouse mom:

Get Your Free Breast Pump

If you didn’t already know, you can get a free breast pump with your TRICARE benefit. How does this work? Each TRICARE beneficiary, no matter the type of service member your spouse is, or their rank, can receive one breast pump per birth event, which is a birth or adoption.

There are several companies that work with you to easily get your breast pump through TRICARE. You do need to have a prescription, and you will have to stick to their spending limits. You can also receive breast pump accessories through TRICARE.

Figure Out Your Birth Plan

Before giving birth, you should think about how you want things to go. If you want to have a natural birth, if that is important to you at all, you need to plan for having a natural birth. There are a lot of things you can do to prepare, from taking natural birth classes to learning special labor exercises.

In addition to what type of birth you want, you need to figure out who will be with you during the birth. If your spouse is going to be deployed while you give birth, who will be with you instead? Can you ask a friend, or would you rather have your mom or sister there? These are some of the things you need to plan so that your civilian friends don’t have to think about.

Make Mom Friends

When you have a new baby, you’ll want to meet other moms who also have kids of a similar age. There are many different ways to do so. You don’t have to start motherhood alone.

You can go to your local MOPS group, there are even some Military MOPS groups at certain duty stations. You can find a local playgroup, where you meet once a week and allow your baby to “play” while you chat with the other parents. You can also connect with other moms online, from joining a due date group to a local group with moms in your area.

Signing Up For TRICARE

You should sign your newborn up for TRICARE as soon as possible. You start by signing them up for DEERs, which stands for Defense Enrollment Eligibility Reporting System. You have 90 days to do so if you are in the States, and 120 days if you are overseas.

After they are in DEERS, they will automatically be put into TRICARE Prime if you are in a Prime Service Area. If not, they will be put into TRICARE Select. You then have 90 days to change to a different plan if you want to.

If you are overseas, they will be automatically enrolled to TRICARE Select and you will have 90 days to change to TRICARE Overseas as long as they are Command Sponsored.

If you are a National Guard or Reserve family, you would need to sign them up for TRICARE Reserve Select if you are using that insurance. You would also need to sign them up for DEERS, as active duty personnel do.

Keep in mind that you don’t have to have their Social Security number when you sign them up for DEERS, and can add that later after you receive it. This also applies to adopted children as well as children you are adding to your family. Please visit TRICARE for the most updated information on this as well as other details about the process.

Baby Stuff Everywhere

One of the things about having a new baby is that you are going to be tempted to buy all the things. There are so many different products out there for almost anything you can think of. Think about what you would really need and what will work best for you and your baby.

We always loved having a co-sleeper of some kind, a stroller, and a good baby carrier. Talk to your friends about the products they have loved and used. You can always wait until after they are born for many of the baby items.

Shopping second-hand will save you a lot of money. When I was pregnant with my 3rd little boy, I went around on the post-wide garage sale day and found so many things I needed for super cheap. Some baby items only get used a few times and can still be in good condition. Just be careful about buying products like a crib and a car seat second-hand, and read up on any recalls that might have come out.

The CDC Is Your Best Friend

The CDC, Child Development Center at your duty station should offer some sort of hourly care option. Hourly care saved my life. When we were a new military family, with a young 18-month-old, I signed him up and took him several times a week.

I loved how flexible hourly care was, how he got to play with other kids, and they always seemed to give us free hours during a deployment. The CDC saved me during deployments and whenever I needed a break from my kids, even if it was just a few hours.

I know some CDCs might have some issues. I would look into your CDC, talk to other moms, and see if using hourly care could be a good option for you. They might also have regular preschool-type programs if you want a more structured program for your child.

Solo Parenting Can Be Rough

Solo parenting is going to be a part of your life if you are a military spouse. Sometimes you might be alone for a few weeks, other times, for a few months. Hopefully, you won’t have to go as long as we did during our first deployment.

Being a solo parent is all about finding what will work for you and your kids. You will have to take the days one at a time. You might also have to give up on some parenting ideals.

However, you will figure everything out. There is a lot of support out there through friends and even your military installation. You don’t have to go through all of this all by yourself. Don’t be afraid to reach out, and remember, you won’t be a solo parent forever.

5 Things to Do When You Hate Your Duty Station

by Leave a Comment

5 Things to Do When You Hate Your Duty Station

So you hate your duty station. You have tried. You really have. But you can’t stand it. And you won’t be PCSing anytime soon. What should you do? How do you make peace with it? Can you?

Here are some ideas:

1) Cry it out

Okay, so you hate your duty station. Please take a moment, cry about it, get it all out, because you are going to need to pull it together to create a plan. You can’t stay in the crying stage, but use it as a motivator to help you figure something out.

Like it or not, the military is going to send you where it wants to, even if you hate it. It is a good idea to figure out ways to make even the worst duty station work for you.

2) Make a plan

Okay, you had a good cry. Now it is time to make a plan. Sit down and make a list.

Try to come up with positives about the area and your home. Perhaps it’s that you are only 15 minutes from an airport, so traveling is 110% easier than it was before, when you were two hours away from one. Maybe it’s the fact that your kids have already found a fun friend base, and even if you are still working on it for yourself, that is something to celebrate.

Think of the positives. I know that is not always going to be easy, but it is there. Now, make a list of what you dislike, and once you have done that, think of anything within your power that you can do to address those issues.

You won’t be able to fix everything. I can’t fix the traffic in the Fort Campbell area, and trust me when I say it is the worst. However, there are some things you can fix; sometimes, you just need to think about it for a while. There is something you can do to improve your time at your duty station. There really is.

3) Join some groups

Okay, one of the best ways to enjoy a duty station is to find your people. And I know what some of you are thinking. You have tried to find your people, but everyone here sucks.

The reality? There is not one duty station where everyone sucks. Okay? There just isn’t. People are people, and they come in all types. I am not saying there are not sucky situations. There are. However, in many cases, getting out there and meeting new people is likely to be beneficial.

So join some groups. Whatever type of thing you are into. Do you like to read? Join a book club. Do you want to hike? Joining a hiking club. Have little kids? Join MOPS or another playgroup. Even going to the park regularly can help you meet new people.

4) Explore

Have you explored your area? Taken a day trip? Make a plan to explore some of the things in your area. It might surprise you.

Sometimes, we can become so caught up in the day-to-day that we miss what is around us. And there might be some fantastic things. Make a bucket list of fun things to explore. It should brighten your outlook.

5) Create a home

You might not be able to control the city you are in, or the way the duty station is, but you can focus on your actual home. Whether it is a condo, apartment, a house, or military housing, make it yours as much as you can. Having a comforting place to relax can go a long way.

Sometimes, you just hate your duty station, and it can feel like nothing can be done about it. During military life, you could end up somewhere you don’t want to be for many different reasons. Finding ways to make peace with where you are will go a long way. And you could be pleasantly surprised by what you find out.

5 Things to Do When You Hate Your Duty Station

Military Spouses and Money: What We Should Be Thinking About

by

The topic of military spouses and money can get pretty heated

The topic of military spouses and money can get pretty heated

Despite the fact that life does cost money, asking about money, your service member’s pay, or anything to do with how much money you are making can get a lot of different responses. From those who help you figure out what you need to know about money issues to others who seem to take the slightest question about finances and blow things out of proportion.

The truth is, as military spouses, we need to be aware of the money coming into our homes. It doesn’t matter if we have a job and make more than our service member or if we stay at home with the kids and don’t bring in any income. Finances are important, and we need to pay attention to them.

Military spouses should have a say

When money comes into a household, that money is spent on your rent or mortgage, utilities, food, home repairs, cars, children, and more. In some marriages, both partners work. They both bring in a regular income.

For some, this means all money goes into the same account. For others, this means that you each have your own account and decide who will pay what.

The problem is when one spouse does not work for any pay, and they feel like they don’t have a right to say where the money goes. This is BS right here. You are a married couple, and you should have a say where the money goes.

If your spouse isn’t allowing you to have a say about any money simply because you don’t bring in an income at the moment, something isn’t right.

Military spouses should be allowed to work

Jobs for military spouses aren’t always easy to find. There can be a lot of barriers in our way, from where we live to what type of job we are looking for. However, your spouse saying that you can’t, even if you want to, shouldn’t be one of them.

If the couple decides together that one of them will stay home with the kids and the other will be a sole provider, that should be a joint decision. The issue isn’t becoming a SAHM or not, the issue is when a spouse wants to work and her spouse is telling her she can’t.

This can be for all sorts of reasons, but it is something a couple needs to work out. There could be a valid reason not to work for a period of time, but both spouses need to be on board. Yes, the military does come first, but that doesn’t mean a military spouse has to give up on their own dreams. There is so much we milspouses can do, even during military life.

Military couples will go through different seasons

When we got married, we both worked full-time. Over the last 19 years, my husband and I have done different things, and the percentage of how much each of us made has changed over time. While there is the traditional idea that one makes all the money and the other stays at home for all those years raising children, this isn’t quite the norm anymore.

For one thing, living on one income can be difficult, oftentimes impossible, especially when you add multiple kids to your family. There will be food and diapers, then sports and braces and the expenses never truly end.

Life with kids costs money, and having a stay-at-home part isn’t always going to work. In fact, many stay-at-home parents end up making extra money from home or even have a nighttime part-time job.

Over the course of your marriage, who makes more money might change. Not every service member stays in for 20 years and wants to be in the military for a career. Not every SAHM wants to be one forever. There are so many more options out there too, from working from home to going back to school and finding a new career.

Military families need budgets too

Having a budget is a must. That way you and your spouse can get on the same page. You can see what is coming in and what is going out.

Although one of you will probably be the one in charge of the bills and getting paid, both of you should be in on the budget to see what your goals are and how close you are to achieving them. Having a budget will keep your money in line, and allow you to work towards your financial goals.

Sometimes the service member won’t have access

As a military wife, having my husband in charge of the bills while he was deployed wouldn’t have worked. As the military spouse back at home, I could always call a bank or a credit card company. He hasn’t always been in a place where he had access.

This is an important part of getting used to military spouse life. Ask yourself what would work best. Maybe for some, having the service member in this role makes sense, but for most of us, doing so can cause more frustration.

Again, this is something you as a couple need to work out. Like anything financial, find what works best for you and your spouse. Figure out any hiccups you might have when they are away, and work them out before they leave. Financial deployment readiness is important too.

Resources about money and military

Here are some fantastic websites to check out about money and the military:

Military One Source

MilSpouse Money Mission

Military Saves

Foxtrot and Pennies

Kate Horrell: The Military Finance Coach

Military Wives Saving

Military spouses and money can be a tricky topic. There are a lot of different opinions about what you should do and what you shouldn’t do. However, at the end of the day, you have to do what is best for you and your service member.

That might look different than what other people are doing and that is okay. Just make sure that you are working towards the life that you want and not stuck in a place where you are being left behind.