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A Big Long List of Military Discounts for Military Spouses

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A Big Long List of Military Discounts for Military Spouses

The first time I ever used a military discount was when I was living in Kentucky and they offered one at our local Chick-fil-A. Not all Chick-fil-A’s offer a military discount, and maybe that one doesn’t anymore but it did when I was there and was able to use it to save a couple of bucks on my meal.

My favorite military discount has got to be the one you can use at Disneyland. We have used this one three different times, in 2017, 2018, and 2022. We hope to be able to use the Walt Disney World military discount someday too.

There are so many different military discounts and programs out there. From Lowe’s and Home Depot to Vera Bradley and other retail shops. You can save $500 on a new car, or buy shoes with a 10% discount. While some retailers only give the military discount to the service member, many also include the spouse and families allowing for us military spouses to use the discount even if our service member is not with us.

Are you interested in knowing what military discounts are out there? You have come to the right place! Here is a big long list of military discounts for military spouses. Enjoy!

Grab something to eat or enjoy a yummy treat

  • Kroger – groceries, but only at Kroger’s near Fort Campbell. 10%.
  • A&W – yummy rootbear floats and a burger on the side! Save 10%.
  • Chuck E. Cheese – for the kids, for the pizza, for fun. Save money with the Chuck E. Cheese Military Deals!
  • Houlihan’s – take the family out for dinner. Save 10% on your check.
  • Outback – for a steak dinner, with a Bloomin’ Onion. Those things are addictive. Save 10% with their military discount.
  • El Pollo Loco – chicken, chicken, and more chicken. Save 15% with their military discount.

Clothing, shoes, and accessories

  • Under Armour – find clothing and shoes. Save 20%, although sometimes they will offer up to 40%.
  • Columbia – find warm clothing, jackets, and more. Save 20%.
  • Puma – clothing, shoes, and accessories. Save 10%.
  • Vera Bradley – purses, blankets, and more! They offer a 15% military discount that you can also combine with sales and promotions. You can also use the Vera Bradley military discount online!
  • Shoe Carnival – for shoes for you, your spouse, and the kids. Don’t forget the socks! Save 10%.
  • Reebok – shoes, clothing, and more. Save 50%. Yes, 50%!
  • Dickies – for men’s pants and workwear. Save 10% with their military discount.
  • Hanes – for your sleepwear, loungewear, and underwear needs. Save 10%.
  • J.Crew – for high-quality men’s, women’s, and kid’s clothing. Save 15%.
  • Kohl’s – for clothing, home goods, and more. Save 15%…on Mondays.
  • Lululemon – clothing for yoga, running, training, and more. Save 15%.
  • Nike- shoes, shoes, and more shoes. Just do it and buy some shoes. Save 10% with the Nike military discount.

Military Spouse/Veteran Owned Businesses

  • Sword & Plough – is a veteran-owned business with Made in the USA bags and accessories. They offer a 20% military discount.

Entertainment for you and your kids

  • Regal – for movies! Save around $1.00 on tickets.
  • AMC – for movies! Save around $1.00 on tickets.
  • The Nashville Zoo – make sure to check out the bears! Save 47-50% as a military discount, or receive free admission for the veteran and their family around Veterans Day.
  • Great Wolf Lodge – an indoor waterpark for the kids! Save 25%!
  • MLB Games – one, two, three strikes you’re out. Most MLB teams do offer discounted military tickets.

Amusement parks you don’t want to miss

When it comes to Amusement Park tickets, your MWR Travel Office is going to be your best friend. You should be able to find a list of where you can get tickets and their prices and then buy the tickets there. Do this before any trip and you can save yourself some money.

  • Disneyland – the Happiest Place On Earth. Save on park hopper tickets.
  • Walt Disney World – the other Happiest Place On Earth. Save on park hopper tickets.
  • Sea World – a fun water-themed amusement park in San Diego, San Antonio, and Orlando. Receive up to four free tickets per family.
  • Legoland – both in California and Florida. Fun for the little kids. And maybe Mom and Dad too. Save on tickets and hotel rooms. Mom
  • Universal Studios – located in both California and Florida. Save money on tickets and hotels and don’t forget to drink some Butterbeer in Harry Potter Land 🙂
  • Six Flags – over 20 parks to choose from. They offer Military Appreciation tickets.

Save money on your car

  • Honda – get yourself a new ride! $500 off your purchase.
  • Toyota – drive yourself over and get a new Toyota, and receive a $500 rebate.
  • O’Reilly Auto Parts – for all your automobile needs. Save 10%.
  • Pep Boys – for more of your automobile needs. Save 10%.
  • Volkswagen – save $500 on your next vehicle.

Glasses and jewelry and random fun things

  • Ray-Ban – find sunglasses. Save 15%.
  • Jared – jewelry, watches, and other gifts. Save 10%.
  • Glasses USA – glasses and sunglasses. $10 off your purchases.
  • Sunglasses Hut – to shade you from the sun. Save 15%.
  • Zenni Optical – for glasses and sunglasses. Save 10%.

Toys, books, and stuff for the kids

  • Gamestop – for all your video game needs. Save 10%.
  • Evenflo – from strollers to car seats, gear for your babies. Save 25% with their military discount.
  • Enfamil – formula for your baby. Save 10%.
  • Baby Tula – baby carriers, in many patterns and colors. Save 15% with their military discount.

Health and Wellness

  • Thrive Market – natural and organic products. Receive a free membership.
  • Anytime Fitness – work out, and get to the gym. Save money with their military discount.

Random retailers with cool stuff

  • Michaels – find crafts, decorations for your home, and more. Save 15%.
  • Joann – similar to Michaels. They offer a 15% military discount.
  • Yeti – coolers and more, get 20% off with a Yeti military discount.
  • Stanley – water bottles. Save 20%.
  • Lowe’s – home improvement, plants, and more. Save 10%.
  • Home Depot – home improvement, plants, and more. Save 10%.
  • Weber – grills for your BBQs. Save 10%.
  • Mattress Firm – for your sleeping needs. Save 10-20%.
  • Camp Chef – for grills and skillets. Save 20%.
  • Apple, Dell, and Microsoft – need a new computer? phone? accessories? All three of these companies have military discounts!
  • Yankee Candle – make your house smell good! Save 10%.

Travel fun

  • Amtrak – skip the plane and take a train. Save 10% on tickets.
  • Airlines – most airlines offer the military something, from reduced tickets to saving on bag fees. Double check since some only offer to the service member.
  • National Parks – from sea to shining sea, check out America’s National Parks. Military can get a free pass!

If you have or work for a business with a military discount that is not already on this list, please contact me for information on how to be added.

6 Resources For Military Spouses Struggling With Anxiety and Depression

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6 Resources For Military Spouses Struggling With Anxiety and Depression

I suffer from anxiety. Having a spouse in the military can add to the struggle. Over the years, I have learned what works and how to deal with my anxiety. Sometimes that means changing little things in my life, other times that has meant going to see a counselor.

I know I am not alone in my anxiety. Other military spouses struggle with it too. Some spouses struggle with depression as well. No matter who you are or what you do, struggling with anxiety and depression can be a lifelong battle.

Mental health is a serious issue in the US and our military. It has touched our family personally as well as many other families I know. We shouldn’t be sweeping it under the rug, and we shouldn’t be embarrassed to reach out and seek help if we need it.

The good thing is that there are resources for military spouses who struggle with anxiety and depression. We don’t have to go through this alone. There is help out there.

Here is a list of six resources to help with your anxiety or depression:

TRICARE

One of the best things you can do if you are struggling with anxiety or depression is to talk about what is going on with your doctor. They can then talk with you about your options. For some, that does mean medications, and that choice should be one you make with your doctor. For others, it could mean going to therapy.

Military Family Life Counselor

The Military Family Life Counselor or MFLC program is where you can find a licensed clinical provider who assists service members and their families with a wide range of issues. They offer this non-medical and confidential help if you need it, but they should not replace going to see a Psychiatrist or Psychologist.

Military One Source

The Military Family and Life Counseling Program offers non-medical and short-term counseling to the military and their families. This can be a good choice if you are dealing with deployment adjustments, stress management, grieving the loss of a loved one, or more. They do not deal with cases of abuse, suicidal thoughts, or mental health issues that may require long-term care or medication.

Military One Source also has articles on mental health and other issues affecting military families.

Give An Hour

This organization has a mission to help others by connecting them with a network of volunteers that can respond to their needs. Since 2005, they have focused on providing free mental health care to the military (including the National Guard and the Reserves), veterans, and their families.

This lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for those in distress or in crisis. Please use this if you or a loved one is in trouble. They also have information on suicide and mental health as well as stories of recovery and hope.

 

If you are struggling, know you don’t have to struggle alone. There are resources out there for you, to help you get what you need to be in a better place.

Do you know of any resources for military spouses with anxiety and depression that should be added to this list? 

75 Smart Tips for Surviving the Next Military Deployment

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75 Smart Tips for Surviving the Next Military Deployment

Deployment. Deployment. Deployment. That word is enough to turn a good day into a bad one. As military spouses, we know that deployments are a part of military life.

Surviving deployment is a must, even on those most difficult days. Whether your spouse deploys every few months or you go through a 9 or 12-month deployment every other year, you will need to figure out what works for you and how to get through.

Deployments are going to be a difficult part of your marriage, but that doesn’t mean they have to break you. That doesn’t mean they have to bring you down. With enough help and encouragement, you can get through your deployment, even if it is one day at a time.

Here are 75 tips for surviving deployment:

1. Make goals

Make a list of everything you want to while your spouse is deployed. Start on this list right after you say goodbye. Having goals will allow you to focus on something besides the fact that they are gone.

 

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2. Read some good books

Reading can be pretty therapeutic. Getting lost in a book will help you through those long deployment nights.

3. Try not to get jealous

Jealousy can be an issue during a deployment. You can get jealous of a friend who talks to their spouse more than you talk to yours or a friend whose husband is not deployed. Try not to compare your situation to others.

4. Find a routine

Routines are good. Even simple ones. Find a routine that works for you. Find one for your kids.

5. Take photos and make albums

Take lots of pictures, make albums, and then send them to your deployed spouse.

6. Learn OPSEC

OPSEC is so important! Learn what OPSEC means and make sure you don’t post what you shouldn’t on social media.

7. Call your Mother-in-law

She is the other person that misses your spouse as much as you do, even though it is in a different way.

8. Get organized

Organize your life. Having an organized home can help with your mood.

9. Be careful about the news

Some people can handle watching the news during a deployment; others can’t. Figure out which one you are and stick to it.

10. Pace yourself

Don’t try to do everything on day one. Pace yourself. You have a lot of days to get through.

11. Use technology for your advantage

We live in a time where technology allows us to video chat with a spouse deployed overseas. Remember how lucky we are.

12. Stay loyal

Don’t cheat. I know, do I even have to say that? But just don’t. Stay faithful. If you don’t want to be married anymore, you can talk about that with your spouse but don’t cheat on a deployed service member.

13. Start a countdown

Not everyone likes to countdown, but I do. It helps me celebrate the days I have been through and puts the deployment in perspective.

14. Know it’s okay if you don’t talk every day

Know that it is okay if you don’t talk to your spouse every day. Sometimes there will be missions that will take them away from the phones. Don’t freak out if you have to wait a few days. Remember, no news is good news.

75 Tips for surviving your deployment

15. Re-arrange your living room

Find a fresh look to your home. Move furniture around and have fun with it.

16. Go to church

If you are religious, go to church. Sundays are hard anyway. Being able to spend time at church part of the day is good for the soul.

17. Pray

Pray and use your faith to help ground you during the deployment.

18. Ask people to pray for you

Asking others to pray for you can help as well. If nothing else, you will know other people are thinking about you.

19. Pay off debt

Deployment is the perfect time to pay off debt. Get rid of extra bills and work towards your future.

20. Binge Watch

Deployment and Netflix go hand and hand. You can also have Hulu, Amazon, or any of the other streaming services.

21. Plan a Space-A trip

If your spouse is deployed, you get a higher priority when you Space-A. Take some time to look into how to Space-A and plan a trip.

22. Find a support group

Find a group you can depend on. It can be an actual support group or a more informal one. You can even start a deployment support group yourself.

23. Go to playgroups with your kids

Playgroups are the best. Time for your kids to play with other kids and you to talk with other moms.

24. Be open with your partner

During a deployment, it is important to be open with your partner. You are still married and being able to talk while they are away is important. Sometimes this might just mean writing letters and other times it will be phone calls and video chats.

25. Make new friends

Deployments can be a good time to make new friends. Find people who get you and what a deployment is like.

26. Explore your city

Take the time to get out and explore your city and community. It will be good for your soul.

27. Join a gym

Work on yourself during a deployment and join a gym. Hopefully one with childcare.

28. Wine

Drink the wine. But not too much.

29. Coffee

You know you need coffee. Invest in a nice coffee maker and have your daily cup.

75 Tips for surviving your deployment

30. Find a sitter

Find a good babysitter. She can watch your child when you head to the Commissary or just for a night out with friends.

31.  Start a business

Have you ever wanted your own business? Maybe now is the time to start. Doing so will keep you busy.

32. Start a deployment garden

Gardening gives you a chance to focus on something else and is good for you.

33. Listen to podcasts

Podcast are fantastic. There are so many awesome podcasts out there, on so many different topics.

34. Develop an easier nightly routine

When you have kids, bedtime is all up to you. Figure out if you can change your current routine to make the night a little easier for yourself.

35. Find me time

You are going to need to figure out a way to have me time during a deployment. Get creative if you have to and use the resources available in your community.

36. Let others know what you need

Don’t be afraid to let others know what you need. Friends want to help one another out.

37. Find something new to do

Find something new to try that you have never done before. Be adventurous.

38. Use the CDC

The CDC on your military post or base will probably have a CDC. Use it. Look into hourly care. It will save you.

39. Buy deployment books for your child

There are quite a few books on deployment that can help your child. Check them out.

40. Buy deployment books for yourself

There are deployment books for spouses too.

41. Send cute care packages

Get creative and send cute care packages. Holiday care packages are always a hit.

42. Buy cute stationery

During one of our deployments, I found stationery from where we went on our honeymoon. It was nice to write love letters on those and send them off to my husband.

43. Find your people

Finding your military spouse tribe is a must. Make plans with the people who can be there for you.

44. Go to an FRG meeting

I know FRG meetings get a bad rap, but they can be a very good thing. You will be walking into a room filled with other spouses going through the exact same thing you are.

75 Tips for surviving your deployment

45. Volunteer

Find a place to volunteer. This can help with boredom, help you develop friendships, and allow you to give back.

46. Trade babysitting with a friend

Find a good friend that you trust. Trade babysitting. This will save you money and still allow you to find that me time.

47. Ask for help

Sometimes we have to ask for help. We simply can’t do it all, all of the time.

48. Go on a mini-vacation

Spend the week in another city, visit a friend, or explore somewhere you have always wanted to go.

49. Visit home

Take a longer trip to visit home. See your parents, friends, and other family members. It will be good for your soul.

50. Work on your hobbies

Have you been putting off your favorite hobby? Deployment is a good time to get back into them.

51. Paint your house

Is there a room that needs a refreshing? Want to change the color? Start a painting project. Invite friends to help.

52. Join Facebook support groups

I have one for my blog. Reach out and help other people at the same time.

53. Follow Facebook pages

There are quite a few military support Facebook pages you can follow. Here is mine.

54. Get up and moving

Get up, shower, get dressed, and go somewhere. Every day. Even if you just take a walk around the neighborhood.

55. Assign chores

If you have kids, assign them some chores to help you out. If they are old enough, this can be such a good way to teach them responsibility and to give you a little bit of a break.

56. Write in a journal

Journals are amazing. You can write out whatever you feel like and no one can judge you for it.

57. Remember, this is temporary

Deployments don’t last forever. They eventually end. Remind yourself of that.

58. Drop the haters

You don’t need to be around people who are going to bring you down. Drop the haters and move on.

59. Check out activities on post

From MWR to the YMCA, see what is going on. There are always events you can go to, many of them are free.

60. Check out activities off post

Look into your local community to see what is going on.

61. Learn to cook something new

Try new recipes, look into learning something new. Get together with friends to share what you like to make.

62. Cry when you need to

Having a bad deployment day? Let it all out. Then pull yourself together to go on to the next day.

63. Seek extra help

Sometimes we need extra help. Don’t be afraid to start going to a counselor. They can help you more than you release.

64. Call your mom

Call your mom when you need to. Let it out. She can comfort you.

75 Tips for surviving your deployment

65. Find a new job

Find a new job, do something different, move up in your career.

66. Plan a post-deployment vacation

Talk to your spouse about what they want to do when they get home from the deployment. Plan the trip. That can be a fun distraction.

67. Start a blog

You have something to say about your experience. Start a blog and write about your situation.

68. Follow blogs

There are many military spouse blogs out there. Follow them. Learn from what they have to say.

69. Let things go

Sometimes we have to take a step back and let things go.

70. Know that you will have good days and bad days

Some deployment days will be good; some will be bad. That tends to be how things go.

71. Don’t worry about the next one

For many of us, there will be another deployment. Try not to worry about that during this deployment. You don’t know what the future will hold.

72. Text your friends

Texting can be a good way to connect with your best friends throughout the day. And can be helpful during a deployment.

73. Laugh

It’s okay to laugh. Smile. Have fun. It’s okay to do so during a deployment.

74. You be you

How you do deployment could be different than how your neighbor does, that’s okay. You do you.

75. Remember you got this. You are strong enough and brave enough to get through a deployment. 

 

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75 Smart Tips for Surviving the Next Military Deployment

To the Military Spouse Who is Solo Parenting for the First Time

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My son was 13 months old when my husband left for Germany to start his Army career, leaving us behind in Kentucky to join him as soon as possible. Other than a trip to my parents’ house when my son was five months old, my husband had always been around to co-parent with me. Then he was gone, across the ocean, and I became a solo parent.

I was lucky. At that time, I would put my son down at 7 pm, and he would sleep until 7 am. However, I couldn’t sleep and would finally close my eyes around 3 am every morning. On four hours of sleep, I had to be both mom and dad. I got burned out very quickly. After 4.5 months of this, we joined my husband in Germany. But my solo parenting days were far from over.

Over the next few years, my husband deployed or was away at training. For months at a time, it was just me with the boys. The longest we went without seeing him was 11 months. That was rough. These days I am still a solo parent with drill weekends and training. And there could always be another deployment in our future.

When your spouse is in the military, you will have to be the solo parent sometimes.

Maybe just for a few weeks, other times for a few months and if you “get lucky” for over a year. The truth is, when you become a solo parent, you have this strong belief that this isn’t the way things were supposed to be. Your spouse was not meant to miss your son’s first birthday. Your spouse was supposed to be there on their first day of kindergarten. They were supposed to be there to help with bedtimes, soccer games, and birthday parties.

When you are married to a service member, they are going to miss those things, and that is going to hurt.

But as a military spouse, you figure out how to make solo parenting work. How to be three places at once, how to say no more often, how to let the little things go and how to make a fantastic dinner of mac and cheese with a side of cereal.

You learn how putting the kids to bed a little earlier will give you some time to take a bubble bath, one that you might need after a long day. You learn to befriend others who get this life and ignore those who don’t. You learn that you are so much stronger and can do so much more than you ever thought you could.

So, to the military spouse who is solo parenting for the first time, there are things you can do to make life a bit easier!

Take things one day at a time

Take everything you are going through one day at a time. Sometimes you might have to take things one hour at a time. That’s okay. Solo parenting is no picnic and most likely getting through the months you have to do it is going to be challenging. But try not to think about how long they will be gone and work through each day as it comes.

Find mom friends

Mom friends are a must when you are solo parenting. Find other moms who are going through deployments too. Make plans to get together on a regular basis. Let your kids play together. This will keep you busy and will give you people who understand what you are going through.

Find playgroups

Play groups are going to be your weekly lifesaver. You can take your kids out to do something fun, to keep them busy and you can make some friends of your own. Playgroups could be the only time of day when you can do something fun outside the house with such small children. MOPS is also a great place to go if you have a MOPS group in your area.

Say no, it’s okay

When you are solo parenting, you might want to say “no” a little more often. And it’s okay to do so. You are not superwomen. You can’t do everything. Your kids need to come first. So figure out what works for them as well as your emotional needs and feel free to say no if there is just too much going on.

Remember, this is temporary

No matter how long a deployment is, it will be temporary, and your spouse will be home again with you and your children. This is hard to remember sometimes, but if you can put the deployment in perspective, that can be helpful.

How do you get through times of solo parenting?

To the Military Spouse Who is Solo Parenting for the First Time

So You Just Found Out You’re Pregnant, And Your Spouse is Deploying

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So You Just Found Out You’re Pregnant, And Your Spouse is Deploying

You were trying, or maybe you weren’t. But the test is clear. You are pregnant, maybe with your first, maybe with your 4th but you know what this means.

Another baby…

A sibling for your two-year-old…

You are growing your family, just like you wanted to.

And as happy as you are, as excited as you are, there is something looming over your happiness.

Your husband, the father of your child, is deploying soon.

And you aren’t sure how you are going to handle everything. You just found out you are pregnant and he’s deploying…

So You Just Found Out You’re Pregnant, And Your Spouse is Deploying

When I found out I was pregnant with baby #2, there was a deployment in our future. We didn’t know exactly when. We didn’t know how long he would be gone. But we knew the deployment would happen.

And then it did. He left when I was 25 weeks pregnant, and I knew I had to figure out how to find my strength to get through this. I knew this deployment and pregnancy wasn’t going to be easy.

I had an almost two-year-old I would still need to take care of. I was already so tired but now I would be solo parenting. I also needed to figure out who would be with me during the birth. We didn’t know if my husband would be able to be there for that.

After he left and the deployment started, I went into survival mode and somehow got through the rest of my pregnancy. I made plans with friends, I asked my mom to come to stay with me over my due date, and I took each day as it came, making the best of the time with just my two-year-old.

If you have just found out you are pregnant and know there is a deployment in your future, here are a few things to think about:

Make Friends

Making friends through all of this is going to be such an important thing to do. You don’t have to go through this alone and having people who get what you are going through or can be there for you through everything is a must. When you are pregnant, you can also start getting out there and meeting other moms through places like MOPS or other groups on and off post.

Make Plans

With being pregnant and having a deployed spouse, you are going to need to make some plans. Who will you have there during your birth? What do you need to buy for your new baby? What will you do when you go into labor?

Make Time For Yourself

You need to make sure you are making time for yourself. You need to take care of yourself and your baby. While staying busy is a must, you also want to make sure you aren’t taking on too much. Look at your schedule and see where you can take some time to just chill and relax, even if it is just for a few minutes a day.

Make Decisions For You

Being pregnant with a deployed spouse, you are going to have people give you all sorts of opinions about what you should do. From a family member insisting that you move home during the deployment to a neighbor expecting you to stay because she did. Try to figure out what would be best for you and your own situation and make decisions for you and your family.

So many of us have been through a pregnancy with a deployed service member or a spouse who has to be away for another type of training. When this happens it can bring up so many different feelings. You might wonder why your spouse has to miss such a precious time in your life.

Figuring out the tools to get you through this time is so important. You can figure out what works for you and your situation. And doing that can get you through the pregnancy, the birth, and any other time your spouse will have to miss.

Have you been pregnant during a deployment? What got you through?

To the Military Spouse Who Hates the Lonely Nights

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To the Military Spouse Who Hates the Lonely Nights

When a deployment begins, you, as the military spouse, have to find a new way of doing life. Things have changed, and you need to figure out how it will work in your home for the next few months. You need to figure out what works best and how you can get through the time apart.

Staying busy is essential. Filling that calendar. Making friends. Trying something new.

The Nights Can Feel Incredibly Lonely

But even if you, as a military spouse, have cracked the code and found ways to get through the day-to-day, the nights can feel incredibly lonely. When the kids are in bed, the kitchen has been cleaned, and the clothes put away.

It’s in those moments when the reality of it all can hit hard, crashing into you like a wave. Making you feel like you can’t possibly do this for the next bit of time they have to be away. Making you question how you even got to where you are in this moment.

It’s in the lonely nights when you miss them the most. You miss telling them about your day. You miss watching TV together. You miss having your person there right beside you.

You Can Feel Like the Rug Has Been Pulled Out From Under You

And beyond that, military spouse, you can feel as if the rug has been pulled out from under you. What makes sense during the day, the duty, the honor. Can feel oh so messy in the night, when you feel like you need them the most.

So, to the military spouse who hates the lonely nights, know that you are not alone in these feelings. It is normal to feel this way, even if you have good deployment days. Even if you usually feel strong.

It’s okay to cry. To sit on your couch and let it all out. Because this stuff? It’s hard!

You Are Doing So Much On Your Own

Solo parenting includes doing bedtime alone. It includes planning and cooking all the meals. It means extra burnout and no one to cuddle up with after putting the kids to bed. And all of that is hard!

Military life during a deployment means having to do so much on your own, when it is usually shared with a partner. It means making extra decisions without being able to discuss them thoroughly. It means sitting alone after a hard day, when the loneliness can creep in. And all of that is hard!

So, if you are having a difficult time at night, if you feel loneliness a little too much, if you are struggling without your partner by your side, you are normal. And while it might seem like this will last forever, it won’t. Deployments eventually end.

One Day, the Deployment Will Be Over

Tell yourself this. Tell yourself that one day, they will be back home with you. Remind yourself how much you have already done. Look at all those nights you have already gotten through.

Find people who get it. Chat with a friend. Dive into an old TV show you can curl up with every night. Keep a journal, and write out your feelings before bed. Blast Taylor Swift’s newest album. Breathe and remember, you got this.

This is a difficult part of military life. And you will get through it, you will!

4 Great Ideas To Rock Your Next Deployment

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It was Thanksgiving Day. Almost exactly 365 days after my husband had returned from his first deployment. We were not sitting down for a turkey dinner. We were dropping him off for his 2nd deployment.

We had celebrated Thanksgiving the week before. In my head, it was no longer Thanksgiving but D-day, Day 1, the day we dropped my husband off and started our months of separation.

4 Great Ideas To Rock Your Next Deployment

This time, we said our goodbyes rather quickly. We didn’t wait around until the bus left. We hugged and kissed, and I put my boys in the car and we drove home.

I can still remember turning around to my almost-two-year-old and four-year-old and telling them that we “got this.” That we were going to rock this deployment. They were so young, they probably didn’t know what I was talking about but I looked at them as my team. My guys. We were going to get through this together.

This deployment was going to be a year. He left in November, and he came home November 1st of the following year. During that time, we got through a German winter, a beautiful spring, a summer in California, and then a fall waiting for his return.

Looking back, I think this was the one deployment I really rocked. I was able to find ways to make the best of the situation. Although so much about that deployment was very difficult, I was able to figure out ways to speed things up and allow myself to have fun with my boys even though my husband was gone.

As I think about the two deployments that came after that one, I can see what was so different about them and why in some ways they were so much harder even though they were shorter.

How I wasn’t able to rock those deployments as much as I was able to do so with our 2nd one. I would never say I have a favorite deployment. I will say this 2nd deployment was the one I can look back on with better memories and a better understanding of how to get through something difficult.

Here are 4 ideas to help you rock YOUR next deployment

1. Find a Battle Buddy- I went through this 2nd deployment with a friend. We lived about 2 blocks away and our husbands were in the same area. This helped so much. A good friend is a good friend and always helpful but having someone who is going through the deployment too can make a big difference. There is just something about going through something like a deployment together that makes that other person feel like family and you can really depend on each other. Your spouse has battle buddies and you need them too. If either one of us was having a bad deployment day we could make plans to meet up and get through the day with each other. 

2. Plan a Trip- Going on a trip of some kind can really help you during a deployment. We went on three trips during our 2nd deployment. The first was a trip to one of my favorite places, Garmisch in Germany. The 2nd was to visit my friend in Austria for the week. The third and biggest trip was flying Space-A to California and staying there for about three months. We had my husband meet us in California for R&R which was amazing. Going on these trips took a lot of work but they were worth doing. They broke up the deployment and allowed us to have some fun even though my husband was deployed. They allowed us to get out of our rut and enjoy life during that year apart.

3. Focus on projects- Because we were planning a Space-A trip, we needed to plan for it. Flying Space-A takes a lot of research. So, my friend and I would have the kids play together and we would sit and figure out our Space-A plans. This took up a lot of time and gave us something to focus on. It allowed us to work on something we had control over. Projects can look different. Some people want to re-arrange their house, others want to go to school or even work on their career. Think about what you can focus on while your spouse is away. Take that time he will be gone and put those days to good use. You will be glad you did once he gets home and you have accomplished something during that time away.

4.Grow Grow Grow- Take the deployment as a time to grow. To work on yourself. To find yourself again. Deployment gives you space to do this. A time to really get to know who you are without the distractions of another adult in the home. Don’t get me wrong, I would much rather have my husband home then deployed but it is nice to be able to take that time you have to yourself and figure out how to make it work for you. My husband will go to AT with the National Guard later this year and I plan to spend that time away to work on myself and grow as a person.

What are your ideas to help rock your next deployment? What has worked for you?

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How You Can Help A Struggling Military Spouse

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How You Can Help A Struggling Military Spouse

How You can help a struggling military spouse

You are finally feeling good about military life. Nothing too complicated, just a few trainings and your husband will be home for a while. You feel put together, have a good friend base at your duty station, and life seems pretty stable. But you have noticed something going on in your community. Not all of the spouses around you are doing okay. Some of them are struggling.

So, how do you help? What can you do to help a struggling military Spouse?

Or maybe you are not a military spouse. Perhaps you have friends who are, and you see them hurting? Maybe you would like to help them, but you don’t know the best way to do that because you have never been through a deployment or PCS yourself.

Here is what you can do to help a struggling military spouse:

Listen

Listening to a struggling military spouse is one of the best things that you can do. They might just need someone to listen. They might need to just get everything out.

Being able to vent about your situation in a safe place can be very therapeutic. I know on those days when I just couldn’t see the forest through the trees of the deployment, talking it out with a good friend was very helpful. If you have a friend who is struggling, let them know you are there to listen, even if you don’t fully understand what they are going through.

Offer

If there is anything you can offer to this spouse, please do. Offer babysitting, a meal, or even just an offer to be there when they need it. Send a care package if they live far away.

Send a note just to say you are thinking about them. These little things can really help a struggling military spouse who is not having the best of days.

Don’t Dismiss

The worst thing you could do is comment on how their situation could be worse or how they need to just get over it. Everyone handles deployments in their own way. Depending on the situation, some spouses might be going through something you simply will never have to deal with.

That doesn’t mean they don’t have a right to feel the way they do about what is going on. During a deployment, you want to be surrounded by people who are going to support you, and if you dismiss your friend’s feelings, they might push you away.

Give them space

Some spouses deal with a deployment by spending time by themselves. They might need some space to accept that the deployment has started. Make sure to give them space if they need it.

Please don’t assume that they want you there, because not everyone does. Let them know that you are there when they are ready to talk or hang out and keep busy.

Being on both sides

It’s so important that those of us who feel like we have it together don’t make those who don’t feel like they are less than. I have been on both sides of this.

I have been both the one struggling and the strong one. I have been the one pouring out my heart, and I have been the one who sat by listening as a friend poured out her own struggles.

The thing to remember about military life is that it is up and down, it is good and bad, it is happy and sad. When you are feeling good about what is going on, never forget that others are not, and never think that things will continue that way for you. You never know what the next day will bring.

An unexpected PCS? I have known people who have only been given a few weeks’ notice. A deployment that gets cancelled only to have it become uncancelled a week before they are supposed to go. A best friend having to leave when you are just about ready to start a new deployment.

Be there for your friends and the struggling military spouse. This will help out the whole military community and make life a little easier for those who need that little bit of extra love and care.

Have you ever been the struggling military spouse? How have others helped you along the way?