Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

Julie

When You Feel Like Your Military Children Are Missing Out

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I remember feeling so torn during our first deployment. I didn’t want to do this Military life thing anymore. I didn’t want my kids to be without their dad. I didn’t want there to be so many pages of my scrapbook where dad was missing.

I started wondering if military life was worth the cost. Was it worth it for my kids to miss so much? I started wondering if despite my husband’s desire to serve, that our family needed to come first and that he shouldn’t do this anymore.

When You Feel Like Your Military Children Are Missing Out

That missing a child’s birth wasn’t worth it…

That missing their first day of kindergarten wasn’t worth it…

That leaving our kids with a stressed-out mom simply wasn’t fair…

And now all these years later I am still not sure if military life is fair to my children. It might not be. And that is a huge pill to swallow.

I can think about all the benefits of military life. I can think of all the places we have been, all the people we have met, and everything we have learned over the years.

But that doesn’t change the fact that my husband missed almost all of my son’s first year of life. That he will miss things in the future. That we will never get these years back.

Walking away from military life can seem like the right thing to do. To see that ETS date and end the military journey. To ask your spouse to pick another path.

For some, getting out of the military is the right thing to do…

For others, it isn’t that simple.

For some, serving in the military is something they have to do. That the military is a part of them. That the military is in their blood. Walking away isn’t possible.

And for the military spouse of that service member, things can be so complicated. You can’t help but wonder where you stand. You can’t help but wonder why they are okay with all the loss and heartache this life can bring.

But you also know that serving is a part of who they are, and what they have chosen as a career path. You know deep down they ache having to be away from you too. You know that they miss you like you are missing them.

When You Feel Like Your Military Children Are Missing Out

And when you remember that, when you remember that even though they choose the military, they also chose you, things get a little easier.

And from that, you can get through what comes. You can help your children through military life. You can be there, and be patient, and know that your path is okay.

Your military life may look so different from your own upbringing.

Your military life might be the opposite of what your civilian friends do.

But it’s your military life, for good or for bad.

While you might never be able to answer the question of if military life is fair to your kids, you know your kids will be able to make it through the challenges, with you by their side.

You might never be able to get those years back but the memories you make when you are together are priceless.

You might not ever have a “normal” life because you married a service member, but you are committed to still living a good one, however that looks.

Don’t be afraid to seek out help during this life. I have many different blog posts here at Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life on deployments, pcsing, and military life in general.

I have a Facebook group, filled with other military spouses who understand.

Check out your local communities to see what is available.

Join your FRG, local MOPS group, or find another way to connect with other military spouses that works for you.

Raising children in the military is, of course, going to be challenging, there is no sense in sugar-coating that. You want the best for your children, and when you realize they are missing out, that doesn’t feel like the best.

You might feel guilty about certain parts of this lifestyle, you might wish you could go back and give them something they missed out on, and you might not ever feel 100% about the choice to be a military family.

When You Feel Like Your Military Children Are Missing Out

But in the end, if the love of your life is committed to the military, you can be too. No matter how rocky the road might be.

You can find recourses to help, you can be your children’s steady in a world that doesn’t seem so, and you can take everything one day at a time.

As a mom, you will always do what you can to help your children through life. This doesn’t change just because you are a military family. Every family has challenges, the military life might just be yours.

What are your best tips for raising kids in the military?

When You Can’t Find a Job As a Military Spouse

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When You Can't Find a Job As a Military Spouse

You just moved to a new duty action. Your household goods are all unpacked. Your children are set up in their new school. Everything seems set except that you haven’t been able to find a job yet.

Military spouses often struggle to find employment for various reasons. Moving 2-3 years has a significant impact on it. You might have trouble finding a job you can do when your spouse is gone half the time. You could have moved overseas and discovered that you can’t keep your job, even though it’s remote. Alternatively, you may be unable to transfer your license to a new state, despite having worked hard for it.

It can all be very, very frustrating. So what’s a military spouse to do when they can’t find employment? Who can they turn to? Well, thankfully, there is some help out there:

  1. Hire Heroes USA – When I started looking for a full-time job a couple of years ago, I signed up for Hire Heroes USA. That was a smart choice. They helped me revise my resume and walked me through the entire process. At Hire Heroes USA, they help veterans, transitioning service members, and military spouses. They are committed to one-on-one support and guidance. They also have a job board.
  2. SECO Program – Through the SECO program, also known as the Spouse Education and Career Opportunities program, run by the Department of Defense, military spouses can access a range of employment support services.
  3. Hiring Our Heroes – Hiring Our Heroes offers a range of programs to support you on your career journey. One example is Career Forward, a learner-to-earner program that can help you advance your career by earning Google Career Certificates in data analytics, IT support, project management, digital marketing & e-commerce, or user experience (UX) design. They will also connect you with employers that are ready to hire. Additionally, you can find virtual workshops and Amplify, a free two-day workshop, as well as other programs that can provide support.
  4. LinkedIn – LinkedIn is one of those places that can be difficult to navigate. Yes, you can look for jobs there, but there is a lot more to it. LinkedIn is an excellent platform for networking. Don’t be afraid to share that you are looking for a job and what type you are looking for. Connect with others and grow your network. And, as a military spouse, you can receive a free year of LinkedIn Premium. Set that up on their website.

Feeling the need for a job when you can’t find one is highly frustrating. Balancing your career with your spouse’s military career can be overwhelming. However, taking advantage of what is available can lead you in the right direction. Make sure to take advantage. 

When You Can't Find a Job As a Military Spouse

When Military Spouses Give Themselves Permission to Pursue Their Dreams

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This post is in partnership with CollegeRecon!

When Military Spouses Give Themselves Permission to Pursue Their Dreams

As a military spouse, you know that this life can be a bit tricky sometimes. We support our service members in every way possible. But we also have dreams and desires of our own. We have things we want to pursue. And we need to permit ourselves to pursue them.

One way to pursue your dreams as a military spouse is to further your education. And VCFA can be a great option to do so.

When Military Spouses Give Themselves Permission to Pursue Their Dreams

What is VCFA?

The Vermont College of Fine Arts (VCFA) is a private, graduate-level college affiliated with the California Institute of the Arts. They offer Master’s degrees in a low-residency format.

What degree programs do they have?

At VCFA, you can get a degree in:

MFA in Film, MFA in Graphic Design, MFA in Music Composition, MFA in Visual Art, MFA in Writing, and MFA in Writing for Children and Young Adults.

What does a low-residency program mean?

Low-residency is an excellent option for military spouses. You don’t have to live in California, and you can complete most of your work in your own home, wherever that might be.

In VCFA’s low-residency MFA programs, you will meet with your class twice a year for an intense and vibrant 9-day residency on the campus. However, for the MFA in Writing and the MFA in Writing for Children and Young Adults programs, a remote option is available.

During these nine days, you attend workshops, lectures, discussions, critiques, exhibitions, performances, and more. Students also have the opportunity to engage with faculty over meals and in informal conversations.

What do they offer students?

During the program, you can find mentorship, work one-on-one with a faculty advisor, and form an individualized study plan tailored to your interests and goals. VCFA also publishes Hunger Mountain, a magazine created by faculty and students in the writing program, providing them with real-life publishing experience.

VCFA also just launched a podcast, Unapologetically Creative, which features bold voices in art, design, and storytelling. You can find it on Apple, Spotify, or iHeart.

Can you use the GI Bill at VCFA?

Yes, you can use your spouse’s or your own GI Bill to help pay for these programs! VCFA also participates in the Yellow Ribbon Program. Additionally, they offer VCFA Scholarships.

A VCFA military spouse student

Ciel-Nicole Williams, spouse of a Full-time Montana National Guard member, just started the MFA in Visual Arts program. When she realized she wanted to become a teacher and needed an MFA, she began exploring low-residency programs. As a 14-year military spouse, she recognized the need for a flexible way to earn her degree.

Ciel looked into and ultimately chose VCFA because it was a robust program that had been around a while and had a good reputation. She also used her husband’s GI Bill for the program.

VCFA, a way for military spouses to pursue their dreams

As you can see, the VCFA MFA programs can be an ideal choice for military spouses. Between its low-residency format and good reputation, military spouses seeking to further their education can find a suitable fit with this school. If you are interested but don’t have a bachelor’s degree, there are some special cases where you can move forward and work towards your MFA with a solid portfolio.

If you are interested in learning more, please sign up for one of VCFA’s informational sessions and complete their contact form. When doing so, please mention the Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life blog in the “Any questions” section.

Feeling Lonely When Your Spouse Goes Off To War

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My son was just about 22 months old when my husband first went off to war.

I was pregnant with our 2nd child and had no clue what to expect. Deployments were a whole new world for me. Luckily I had a group of other wives whose husbands were in the same Company as mine. This made saying goodbye a little easier.

I remember after the men got on the buses. Sitting with a few other wives. Waiting to see them drive by so we could wave one more time.

As we sat there, we really didn’t know what we were really dealing with. We didn’t know then how hard the time apart would be, how long the deployment would last, and what the next 15 months would look like.

Feeling Lonely When Your Spouse Goes Off To War

We had no idea how lonely we would feel. 

I went home to my house with my little boy and we started the deployment. At first, the deployment felt manageable. My mom was going to come and stay with us for two months when the baby was supposed to come. I knew I would be busy with a newborn and a two-year-old.

My son was born, my husband came home for R&R, then he left again. My mom went home. My son got sick. He got better. Spring came.

As the months went on, the deployment got harder and harder.

The feeling of loneliness took over me. I remember sitting in my bathroom, after my son went to sleep, wondering how I was going to get through that time without my husband.

He is the one person I could talk to about anything. Even the silly things. The everyday things. The things spouses talk about with only one another.

By this point in the deployment, I wasn’t even able to talk to him that much. I think the longest we went was 30 days. 30 days without anything from my husband.

I felt like I was in a weird place. I knew I was married, but I didn’t feel like I was. I knew I had a husband out there that loved me, but it seemed like it was something from another time. Your mind can really play tricks on you.

Having a community to depend on is the #1 thing you can do when you reach this point of the deployment.

When you feel so lonely and you would give anything to have a real conversation with another adult. When you crave your spouse’s touch, but you know you have to wait for a while for that. Having a community of other spouses to talk about this with is what got me through those months.

When they told us that our husbands would be extended during the surge in Iraq in 2007, that they would not come home after a year, we all met at McDonald’s to let the kids play. We cried together and tried to figure out how we were going to get through this deployment extension. We knew we could not handle this alone. We knew we needed each other.

So while I still struggled with that loneliness, especially at night, when the house was quiet, I was glad to have a circle of friends around me who got what I was going through. That I could vent with, cry with, and get through the deployment with.

They made all of the difference and going into future deployments I learned that having that circle was a must.

Loneliness during a deployment can hit us hard.

We might assume we can avoid feeling lonely, especially if we have so many other things to focus on. But sometimes loneliness can hit when we least expect it. 

Sometimes loneliness hits during a trip to a grocery store, or when grabbing a cup of coffee. Sometimes it hits when watching a movie, or talking about something unrelated to military life. Sometimes that loneliness hits and we can’t get rid of it on our own.

When that loneliness hits, find ways to stay busy and get up and get moving. Write in a journal, take a long walk with your kids, or call a good friend. Find things you know you can do when the emotion hits you hard. Doing so is your best defense against loneliness. 

How do you handle loneliness during your spouse’s deployment???

Military Benefits Every Spouse Should Know About 

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Military spouses standing in a line

Hey there! If you’re reading this, you’re probably knee-deep in military life already. Between PCS moves, deployments, and trying to figure out what TLA even means (seriously, what’s with all the acronyms?), it’s easy to miss out on some seriously helpful benefits. Let’s break them down – and trust me, you’ll want to bookmark this one. 

TRICARE: Your Medical Safety Net 

Remember that time your toddler decided 2 AM was the perfect time for a fever, or you needed a prescription while visiting family across the country? That’s where TRICARE becomes your best friend. You’ve got two main options: TRICARE Prime and TRICARE Select. 

Prime is like having a medical home base. You’ll get assigned a Primary Care Manager (PCM), and they’ll be your go-to for everything. Referrals are required for specialists, but here’s the upside – you’ll barely pay anything out of pocket. Select gives you more freedom to choose your providers, but you’ll pay a bit more for that flexibility. 

Key TRICARE Tips: 

● Get enrolled in DEERS first – nothing works without it 

● Keep your ID card current 

● Update your info after every PCS 

● Download the TRICARE app (total game-changer) 

Learn more at www.tricare.mil 

MyCAA: Your Ticket to Career Growth 

Let’s talk about that $4,000 in education benefits that’s just sitting there, waiting for you to claim it. MyCAA isn’t just for traditional college – it covers certifications, licenses, and technical programs too. Think medical coding, real estate license, teaching credentials, or IT certifications. The best part? These are careers that can move with you. 

I’ve seen spouses use MyCAA to become everything from veterinary technicians to web developers. The program is designed for portable careers, meaning you can take these skills anywhere the military sends you. Plus, many programs are online, so PCSing won’t interrupt your studies.

Beyond MyCAA, there’s a whole world of military spouse scholarships out there. The Military Spouse Career Advancement Scholarship, the Joanne Holbrook Patton Military Spouse Scholarship, and countless installation-specific opportunities are waiting for applicants. 

Explore your options at myseco.militaryonesource.mil/portal/mycaa 

Employment Support That Gets It 

The Military Spouse Employment Partnership (MSEP) is like having a really well-connected friend in your job search. These employers – we’re talking companies like Amazon, Starbucks, and hundreds more – actively seek out military spouses. They understand our unique challenges and often offer flexible or remote positions that can survive a PCS. 

SECO takes it a step further with personalized career help. Need someone to translate your varied experience into civilian terms? Want to practice interviewing? They’ve got you covered. The best part is how they understand that a “gap” in your resume might actually be time spent managing a cross-country move with three kids and a dog (which, let’s be honest, is basically a project management certification in itself). 

What SECO Offers: 

● Resume reviews and writing help 

● Interview coaching 

● Career assessments 

● Education guidance 

● Portable career planning 

Connect with employers at msepjobs.militaryonesource.mil 

Housing: Making Sense of BAH and Housing Options 

BAH might seem straightforward – money for housing, right? But it’s actually pretty nuanced. The rates are calculated based on local rental markets, including average utilities and renters insurance. That’s why you might get more BAH in San Diego than in rural Oklahoma. 

If you choose to live on base, you’ll typically forfeit your BAH in exchange for housing, utilities, and maintenance. Off base? That BAH is yours to manage. The Military Housing Office becomes your secret weapon here – they know which neighborhoods to avoid, which landlords work well with military families, and can even review leases for you. 

Smart Housing Moves:

● Calculate your BAH before house hunting 

● Use the Military Housing Office for lease reviews 

● Consider school districts if you have kids 

● Keep utility costs in mind when budgeting 

Calculate your rate at www.defensetravel.dod.mil/site/bah.cfm 

Mental Health Support (Because Military Life is No Joke) 

Let’s be real for a second – military life can be tough on your mental health. Those long deployments, constant moves, and the pressure of holding everything together? It’s a lot. That’s why knowing about these mental health resources is so important. 

Military OneSource counseling is a game-changer. Twelve free sessions per issue, and you can start over with new issues. Having trouble adjusting after a PCS? That’s an issue. Struggling with deployment? Different issue. Marriage needs some tune-up? You guessed it – separate issue. Plus, you can do these sessions in person, over the phone, or by video chat. 

The Military Family Life Counselors (MFLCs) on base are another amazing resource. No appointment needed, no paperwork, and nothing goes on any record. They’ll meet you at the coffee shop, the park, or wherever you feel comfortable. They even have special counselors just for kids who might be struggling with military life. 

Mental Health Resources Include: 

● Individual counseling 

● Couples counseling 

● Child behavioral support 

● Stress management workshops 

● Deployment support groups 

Get started at www.militaryonesource.mil/confidential-help 

Money-Saving Perks (Because Every Little Bit Helps) 

This is the fun part – all the ways military life can actually save you money. The ITT office on base is like having a secret discount travel agent. Want to go to Disney? They’ve got tickets for way less than you’d pay at the gate. Universal Studios, local attractions, even cruises – always check ITT first. 

The Exchange and Commissary are obvious spots for savings, but don’t overlook the smaller perks. That military ID can get you discounts at places you might not expect:

Everyday Savings: 

● Home improvement stores (Lowe’s and Home Depot – 10% off) 

● Clothing retailers (Old Navy, Nike, Under Armour) 

● Cell phone plans (most major carriers offer military discounts) 

● Car insurance (USAA, GEICO, and others offer military rates) 

● Hotels and flights (always ask for military rates) 

But here’s a pro tip: sometimes the military discount isn’t the best deal. Always compare it with other available discounts or sales. And don’t forget about holiday weekends – many stores offer extra military discounts during Memorial Day, Veterans Day, and Military Appreciation Month. 

Find current deals at www.militaryonesource.mil/recreation-travel-shopping 

Pulling It All Together 

Listen, this military life isn’t always easy. Some days it feels like you’re juggling flaming chainsaws while riding a unicycle. But these benefits? They’re here because others before us fought for them. They’re here to make this wild ride a little more manageable. 

Keep your documents updated, your ID card current, and don’t be afraid to ask questions. Join your base’s spouse Facebook group – sometimes the best info comes from other spouses who’ve been there, done that, and know all the shortcuts. 

Remember, you’re not just surviving military life – you’re building a life within it. These benefits are tools in your toolkit. Use them, share them, and help other spouses learn about them too. Because at the end of the day, we’re all in this together. 

Need more info? Visit www.militaryonesource.mil/military-life/spouses for a complete rundown of military spouse benefits. And don’t forget to check back regularly – benefits and programs can change, and new ones pop up all the time. 

Author Bio: Daniel Denkinger is an active-duty Air Force pilot and the founder of AFCrashpad.com, a company that provides fully furnished, military-friendly lodging for service members on PCS or TDY orders. Dedicated to supporting the military community, Daniel offers housing solutions designed to make military life more comfortable and stress-free. 
Connect with Daniel: ● Instagram: @afcrashpad ● Facebook: AFCrashpad ● Website: AFCrashpad.com

Military Benefits Every Spouse Should Know About 

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly of the Military Community

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The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly of the Military Community

I talk a lot about the military community. I have seen so much good come from people banding together to get through the hard stuff. Finding others who understand is extremely helpful. But…with the good comes the bad, and the ugly. 

The military community isn’t perfect. We have some flaws. We have some ugly parts. And like any community, as much as we try, they can sometimes take over your whole experience to the point where you just want to walk away. 

The good of the military community

The good of the military community includes walking alongside one another when you are hurt. It means planning a Thanksgiving dinner when all your spouses are deployed. It means stepping in and bringing another spouse groceries when she is sick on the couch. It means trading babysitting and letting people vent about the hard, and helping them come up with solutions to what seems impossible. 

The bad of the military community

The bad is having to leave the friends you have made that have felt like family, only to only ever like their Facebook posts in the future. The bad is feeling left out and not sure you can find a place. The bad is struggling to find new friends when you miss your old ones more than anything. 

And the ugly of the military community

The Facebook groups that poke fun at innocent questions from new military spouses. The hate for certain spouses based on whether they are married to and enlisted service member or officer. The misunderstandings that lead to a lack of grace and friendship. The loneliness some can feel because they can’t seem to find their people. 

The truth of the military community

The truth is that any community can have its share of the good, the bad, and the ugly. But as a military community, we have more at stake. We need one another in so many different ways. We can’t afford to be mean-spirited. We need to work past that.

As a community, we need to work together because with the world the way it is, with things heating up, we will need one another. And it starts with each of us. Extending that grace, treating others with respect, and striving to be the best version of ourselves.

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly of the Military Community

My Mom Jayne: How Mariska Hargitay Shared Her Story in the Most Beautiful Way

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Jayne Mansfield Com X-M103-001

Da da da…can you hear the Law and Order theme in your head right now? That show has been around for a long time, and one of our favorite characters is Detective Olivia Benson, played by actress Mariska Hargitay.

I knew she had a famous mother, Jayne Mansfield. I also knew she was very young when her mom died in a car accident. I didn’t know much else about their story until I watched the new documentary on HBO Max, My Mom Jayne. And it was one of the best documentaries I have ever seen.

Jayne Mansfield was born Vera Jayne Palmer on April 19, 1933. She was an actress, a 1950s and 1960s sex symbol, and known for her blonde bombshell persona. She was also a mother of five children. And she died at just 34 years old, on June 29, 1967. Mariska was only three and has no really memory of her mother.

In the documentary, Mariska’s pain about not knowing her mother comes through. It’s heartbreaking. She is the 4th child of Jayne Mansfield, so her older siblings do have more memories of her, especially her older sister Jayne Marie, who was born in 1950. You can’t help but think about what it might be like to know so many who knew your mother, so many had memories of her, even from a distance, and that you, as her daughter, had pretty much nothing.

The documentary features numerous interviews with individuals who knew Jayne and Mariska, from her stepmother to all of her siblings. We see clips and photos of Jayne, from press tours, USO tours with Bob Hope, to life at home. Mariska also shares so much about her own history that she has never shared publicly before.

“I’ve spent my whole life distancing myself from my mother,” Mariska says in the trailer for My Mom Jayne. “Reclaiming our family story. That is what this is about for me. Because she’s a part of me. I want to know her as Jayne. My mom, Jayne.”

Whether you’re a fan of Mariska Hargitay or Jayne Mansfield, or not, My Mom Jayne is a fantastic story about life, love, loss, grief, family, and healing. I will be thinking about it all for a long time.

Photo Credit: ETH-Bibliothek Zürich, Bildarchiv / Fotograf: Comet Photo AG (Zürich) / Com X-M103-001 / CC BY-SA 4.0, CC BY-SA 4.0, via Wikimedia Commons

One Long Deployment

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One Long Deployment

They walk away, they have to. The time has come for them to leave.

To deploy. To head overseas. To do what they have trained to do.

We stay behind, we know we have to. We have to stay strong, even if that is hard. We have to be the ones at home, holding everything together.

You second guess in moments like these. Should he have really joined the military? Should I have really married into this?

As you stand at the start of one long deployment, you wonder how you even got there…

Time goes by, and the days pass. Cross one off, then another. One week at a time.

You hold it together. You have to. For the kids. For yourself. For them.

You talk every other day, sometimes every day, sometimes you have to go longer.

You remind yourself that things are much better now. You remind yourself having a spouse off at war used to mean just letters, now you have so much more. But even that reminder doesn’t make them seem closer.

As you start off that one long deployment, you find yourself in a weird place, and wonder if anyone else can understand.

Can they understand the deployment ache? The feeling that something is missing, even if you are having a good day? Do they understand how that feels?

Can they understand the sadness that can come, knowing this is your life, knowing there will be more deployments?

Can they understand how yes, you did choose this, but no, you really had no idea what military life would be like? That you really didn’t know how your emotions would play out?

As you get through that one long deployment, you wonder if there is anyone else you can connect with, anyone else who is going through the same thing?

You go to the FRG, you go to the local playgroups, you join a book club. At first you are not so sure. Can these other spouses relate? And then you find that yes, some of them can.

You make plans, you are going to help each other through. You find your people. Others who get deployments. Others who can truly understand.

You find yourself in a place of almost contentment. Yes, your spouse is gone. Yes, they are deployed, but you are finding your way.

This one long deployment is halfway over, and you feel as though you have gone through so many different phases since they left. You were heartbroken, you were sad, and now you have found a place of peace, but can you stay that way?

As time moves on, you feel the up and down of the deployment. The good days, the bad days. The hard days, the easier ones.

You have worries. Will they get extended like they did last time? Will they happen to come home early? Will they be changed when they do come home?

Staying busy is key, you know this, but some days, you don’t want to do anything. You want to take a day off. Take a day off of a deployment? That’s not even possible.

As you round each corner, you think about how much this one long deployment has taught you. How much you have learned. How you have grown.

You are more independent now. You have figured out how to be, because it was the only way.

You have more strength than you did before. What seemed impossible is now possible. And you hope some of that is rubbing off on your kids.

You look towards the finish line and wonder what homecoming will really be like. Is homecoming like the videos you have seen on the news? Is it as happy as they want you to think it is? What if there is more below the surface?

And then you find yourself at the end of this one long deployment. You have less than a month, then less than a week and time stands still. The calendar doesn’t want to move.

And you feel ready, so ready for this deployment chapter to be over in your life. You are so ready for normal again. To be a full family.

You know that you have both changed. You knew that going in. And you hope and pray the first few days, weeks, and months together can be a time of healing.

You get together with your friends. You make homecoming signs. You share your after deployment plans.

And then the day comes, the one you have been waiting for, this one long deployment is finally over. You have your homecoming outfit, that’s ready, but are you? You are full of emotions and as nervous as you were before your first date.

You get the kids ready, and head in your car. You can’t eat, you can’t do much of anything but focus on the task ahead. You park the car and head to the gym to wait.

And you wait…as if you haven’t done enough waiting but this time the waiting is different. This time you are waiting just a short amount of time, maybe a few hours. You made it through months apart, you can handle a few hours.

You are thankful your friends are surrounding you, even if some of their spouses already made it home. Being in the last group is difficult, but you did it and now you are here.

As you sit and wait, you think about this one long deployment and everything you have been through. You think about your highs and lows. You think about the good and the bad.

And then it is time. It is time. It is time. It is time.

Everyone stands up, with smiles on their faces. The doors open and it is time!

You look for them, in the sea of green. You find them, so serious, still in soldier mode.

They see you, you know they do but they can’t react, not yet. And you wait and then you don’t have to anymore. And then they are in your arms again. And you did it…

You survived this one long deployment. You made it to the finish line. You found a way through and got to the other side.