Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

Julie

The Brave Crate Box Is Exactly What You Need

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The Brave Crate Box Is Exactly What You Need

I received a free box for review!

I love getting mail!

I especially loved getting mail when my husband is deployed.

Just something about getting a package in the mail makes me happy and puts me in a happy mood.

If you haven’t already heard about Brave Crate, you will be in for a happy surprise. Brave Crate is a box just for military spouses going through a deployment. How awesome is that?

If you sign up with Brave Crate, you will be getting your very own package in the mail once a month. Not only that but this package is made just for a spouse going through a deployment.

What’s In Each Brave Crate Box?

  • An intro to the month’s theme with tips and tricks from other military spouses
  • A beautiful calendar to track your countdown
  • 4-6 full size products to help you set goals, focus on wellness and support your marriage
  • One challenge card inspiring you to work toward purpose during deployment
  • Access to monthly webinars, challenge groups and interviews through our online community

I just received the latest box and wanted to share it with you. As you can see the box is filled with some amazing goodies.

The Brave Crate Box Is Exactly What You Need
The Brave Crate Box Is Exactly What You Need
The Brave Crate Box Is Exactly What You Need
The Brave Crate Box Is Exactly What You Need
The Brave Crate Box Is Exactly What You Need

Opening that pink box is always such a fun surprise!

How much does Brave Crate cost?

The box is $33.99/month for a 6-month subscription. Shipping for your box is only $6 no matter where you are! Brave Crate also offers monthly and 3-month subscription options.

I really think Brave Crate is such a great thing to have during a deployment. I really wish I could have ordered them during all of our deployments. Check out some of their past boxes and see the variety they provide, month after month.

Are you interested in a Brave Crate box? If so head on over and sign up, use the code SWCL and receive $5 off your first box!

You will be glad you did 🙂

My Easy Treezy Christmas Tree

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Easy Treezy Christmas Tree

This is a sponsored post! I received a free tree for the review!

When do you put up your Christmas tree? It seems like people are pretty divided on this. Should you wait until after Thanksgiving? What about the weekend before? Does it even really matter?

Well this year, we put our tree last week. I was super excited to receive a free Easy Treezy Christmas Tree to review on my blog, I didn’t want to wait.

With Easy Treezy you can choose from a pre-lit or a pre-decorated tree. I went with the pre-decorated because I am all about the easy here. I wanted something that didn’t take a lot of time, was easy to put up, and still looked really nice.

My Easy Treezy Christmas Tree

From the moment I opened the box to once I was done fluffing the tree was less than 25 minutes. And this was with taking some photos and checking out the parts of the trees as well as the decorations. It will be even quicker next time as I now know exactly what to do.

The Easy Treezy IS very easy! The tree came in four different parts that come together and line up with color-coded areas and magnets. That part was super quick! I usually get frustrated with artificial trees since it isn’t always easy to know where the parts go but this one is made to be easy to put together.

I spent the most amount of time plugging in the lights as each section needs to be plugged into the other sections in order to light up the entire tree. After I did that, I spent some time fluffing up the tree to get the branches to look the way I wanted and to fill in over the middle pole of the tree.

My Easy Treezy Christmas Tree

We decided to go with the slim tree as we have limited space in our Living Room. Before we got this tree I wasn’t sure what we were going to do about a tree because of this. I didn’t want the tree taking up too much of our minimal space. The slim tree is pretty perfect and fits in nicely right in front of our front window.

Our tree is 7’5 because I like a tree being taller than me 🙂 But you can also get them in 5’5 if you don’t want one that tall. They also have flocked trees if that is your preference.

As far as whether you should get a pre-lit or a pre-decorated tree, that will depend on what you like. I like the decorations on the tree, I think the poinsettias are my favorite but they might not work for everyone. They are glittery so when putting up the tree I did get glitter in my living room but since the tree has been up to over a week now that hasn’t seemed to be a big issue. The decorations are fixed on the tree so you don’t take them off and reposition them or anything like that.

My Easy Treezy Christmas Tree

The lights are clear lights, and every Easy Treezy comes with 270 durable, long-lasting clear LED lights. You just need to make sure you have them all plugged into each other for the whole tree to light up.

Now, the base of the tree means that the tree won’t lean or fall over but that also means that there isn’t any space under the tree for presents.

Easy Treezy also sells wreaths and garland, as well as holiday decor kits.

My Easy Treezy Christmas Tree

I love how easy this tree was to put up, how the slim design doesn’t take up too much space, and how once I put it up, the tree was already decorated.

So, head on over to Easytreezy.com and check them out 🙂 Use the code SNOW50 for $50 off any product on their website.

When You Are New, After a PCS

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When You Are New, After a PCS

Your flight got in late, so by the time you got to the post hotel, you still didn’t have a good idea of where you now were. Where you would call home. Your next duty station.

You have seen photos and heard stories. Both good and bad. But this PCS has made you nervous and you aren’t sure all what to expect. 

As you wake up the next morning, you suddenly remember something you forgot to do before you left your last duty station. However, it doesn’t matter, you have moved on to the next place. This is your reality now.

You go out with your spouse and kids, go exploring. You might have to wait for housing and just hope that wait isn’t too long. The hotel is okay but the thought of having to stay there for a while makes you kinda hyperventilate. Especially with little kids.

You get things sorted out. You find the PX. You find the Commissary. Things are so different than your old post, how will you ever find your way around?

Days pass and you are still at the hotel but housing tells you only a few more days. Your kids are getting restless, your kids are getting anxious and so are you. You just want to get to your new house.

Your son wants to know when they will see their best buddy again and your daughter is confused about everything. She is only three and you are not sure she will even remember this move. You are not sure what your kids will remember about all of this. 

A few more days pass and then it is time to move in, to your new home. You question if living on post was the best choice, you just don’t know. You question if accepting this house was the right choice, or should you have waited for something else? 

Well, the choice has been made and it is time. Time to get to know the place that will be yours for the next few years. The place you will put your belongings and make yours, even with the white walls and tiny kitchen.

As you move your things in, you find your kids exploring too. You hope and pray the kids in this neighborhood are nice. You hope their parents are too.

Time goes on and you still feel so new. You had to ask someone where the MWR was, for a second time, you just can’t seem to remember. You worry you will never figure it out.

More time goes by and although some people have been friendly, you haven’t made any friends yet and you wonder what to do. Should you join that book club you have seen advertised? Should you take your kids to MOPS? It all feels a bit overwhelming.

More time goes on and you start to get used to the routine again. Everything has been unpacked, your kids are making friends and you are starting to find some of your new duty station’s hidden gems.

But still, you feel like the new girl, not sure how to find your people. Not sure of your place here. Not sure what to do next.

You miss your friends, you miss your people. You used to have a solid group. People to hang with, people to have fun with, people to get through deployments with.

But then, when you aren’t even noticing, you find yourself fitting in more and more each day. You are making friends, and finding your place. 

This new duty station is becoming your home. And your previous one is becoming a memory. And you have some hope that this move is going to be a good one, even though it took you a while to get there.

Just like everything else you have experienced in military life, you figured out how to make it through this PCS. To get to the other side. To get past the stress and the emotions of a move and a new home.

While you know that you will have to do all of this again in a few years, you hope that you can remember what you learned from this PCS. You hope that you will remember that as hard as saying goodbye is, there will be hellos in your future. You hope that you will remember that although so much of the move is stressful, a PCS is a good time for a new start, and a time to thrive in different ways than you have done before.

How many times have you moved with the military?

How You Can Celebrate Veterans Day With Your Military Family

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How You Can Celebrate Veterans Day With Your Military Family

This is a sponsored post for T-Mobile with Sofluential Media!

Can you believe it is November already? This year has flown! Whenever we get to this time of year, I start getting pretty excited about the holidays. But before we get into Thanksgiving and Christmas, we get to celebrate Veterans Day, a day to recognize and honor all veterans.

Living in a military community, there are a few things we can take part in around here. Our city has a pretty cool Veterans Day parade that involves the community – one year we were able to ride in the parade with my son’s boy scout troop and we are hoping to be able to attend again this year.

As a military family, Veterans Day can be a big day. You probably want to find events near your home and make plans to celebrate your own veteran. You can search social media for local events, check what your city or town is doing, and look into what your military installation has going on.

When it comes to discounts and free meals, many different restaurants, zoos, amusement parks, and even small businesses offer different types of perks for those who have served in the military. Last year, my husband was able to pick out a free meal from a restaurant in Nashville, and one year I went out to lunch with a group of my friends in honor of the holiday. A few of them were veterans themselves and they were able to get their meals on the house.

We have also gone to our local zoo on the Sunday of Veterans Day weekend, as they have a free day for veterans and members of the military. There really is a lot you can do around your area to celebrate the veterans in your life! Speaking of a Veterans Day parade, did you know that T-Mobile is sending over 100 veterans, military family members and allies to the Veterans Day Parade in NYC? As you might already know, T-Mobile is committed to supporting soldiers, veterans and their families and have various initiatives ranging from recruiting, career assistance to an unbeatable Military-friendly network plan. Per usual, T-Mobile goes above and beyond to support the military community and have organized a weekend full of networking events to help these employees take the next step in their career and march in one of the biggest Veterans Day events in the nation!

At T-Mobile, they provide their employees with opportunities to get involved, support and celebrate their veteran community year-round.  Just this year alone, their diversity and inclusion teams have organized over 800 events and counting for employees to attend.

T-Mobile also goes beyond exclusive discounts (although they do have those too – check out their Magenta Military plan) to provide career assistance and community support to service members, veterans and their families. They’ve committed to hiring 10,000 veterans and military spouses by 2023 and are involved with organizations like FourBlock, Recruit Military, and Hire our Heroes to make sure service members across the nation have the employment support they need. As you can see, T-Mobile lives up to their commitments and is a industry-leading champion for our military community! 

I hope you enjoy celebrating Veterans Day with your veteran or service member 🙂

5 Things to Do When Your Spouse Deploys Before the Holidays

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Things to Do When Your Spouse Deploys Before the Holidays

We celebrated the Thanksgiving of 2008 a week early. My husband had the day off, so the Thursday before, I woke up with turkey and mashed potatoes on my mind. We had a full and fun day, and it didn’t matter one bit that we celebrated a week before everyone else was celebrating.

You see, on Thanksgiving of 2008, we would be doing something else. We would be saying goodbye to my husband for his 2nd deployment to Iraq. There was no way for us to celebrate Thanksgiving on the actual day, so we changed things around, and doing so was the best thing we could have done.

Years later, my husband was going to have to be gone for a few weeks for a new job over Christmas. When I first heard this I got really upset. Then I made a plan. When your spouse deploys, you learn how to get creative about things.

We changed Christmas morning to December 19th. And it worked out perfectly. We told the boys that Santa was going to come early because he knew their dad had to be away on the 25th. They went to bed on the 18th, just like they would have on the 24th. Everything worked out.

So then, when my husband left and the 25th came, we had already celebrated Christmas. We didn’t feel the loss quite as much, which was quite a relief.

As military families, we always have to adjust. We have to figure out how to make things work, even if we are not used to doing things that way. If you are getting ready for deployment or other separation around this time of year, you could be feeling a little down and frustrated.

However, there are a few things you CAN do to make this a little more okay. Here are some ideas:

  • Decorate early

I have seen military families decorate for Christmas in October because the mom or dad was going to deploy in November. I have seen people put up the Christmas lights the first week of November because that has always been a tradition and they didn’t want to miss it this year. If your spouse is leaving around the holidays, why not decorate early so they can take part in it?

  • Celebrate early

Like we have done in the past, why not celebrate a little early? There is no law that says you have to celebrate the holidays on the day they are on on the calendar. Figure out when the best time for your family to celebrate is, and celebrate then.

That way, when the actual holiday comes around and they are gone, you will not feel like you have missed out on celebrating together. You can even decide to celebrate early to take the stress of their deployment date out of the picture. Waiting to see if they deploy on the 23rd or the 26th is a lot less stressful if you already celebrated Christmas a week before.

  • Video and pictures

One Christmas, when my husband was deployed, I videotaped my boys opening gifts. That way, my husband was able to watch everything and didn’t feel as left out. If your spouse is traveling over the holidays or getting situated in his new location for a deployment, there might not be time to connect on the holiday, but you can always share videos and photos with them later.

  • Visit family

If your spouse is leaving for deployment around this time of year, going to stay with family can be a good idea. That way you are not as alone right when the deployment begins, and it is a more emotional time of year. Besides, your family will probably want to see you and your kids and celebrate with you this year.

  • Take a trip

If you don’t have a family to go to or just don’t want to visit them this time of year, you and your kids could always take a trip over the holidays. You could even go with another spouse and their kids. Getting out of your house and visiting somewhere new can be a good way to get through this holiday season when you are starting a new deployment.

Life can be tricky when your spouse deploys around the holidays. You might not even know when they are actually leaving and as you get closer to the holidays you are used to celebrating together, things can get pretty stressful. See what you can do to make this year special anyway.

Do you have any tips for someone going through this? What has worked for you?

How You Can Help Your Children Through a PCS

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How You Can Help Your Children Through a PCS

One of the challenges of raising kids in a military family is having to move more often than civilian families. A lot of military families move once every three to four years, sometimes even every two years, or less. As a parent, you want to figure out how to best help your children through a PCS.

This means that many military children attend many different schools and are often the new kid or having to make new friends because all of their friends moved away. This part of the military life can be a struggle.

As a parent, how do you help your children through a PCS?

How do you help them understand that this is all apart of your lifestyle?

What can you do to make PCSing every few years easier for them?

Helping Your Children Through a PCS Before You Leave

  • If your children are quite young, you probably won’t be sitting down with them about the PCS. You will just be working to try to make the process a smooth one. They might notice changes in their home and that is important to recognize as well.
  • For an older child, you will want to let them know what is going to be happening ahead of time. Then they have time to get used to the idea and spend some time with friends that they are going to have to say goodbye to.
  • Get them excited about their future home and new duty station. Let them know some of the fun things you can do when you get there that you can’t in your current area. Let them help with picking out a new place to live or which room they will have. Give them a little bit of control when you can give it to them.
  • Having a goodbye party might be a good idea too. Your kids can invite their friends for one last party. A goodbye party can be a way for them to say goodbye to all of their friends, and make a few memories while doing so.

Helping Your Children Through a PCS After You Arrive at Your New Duty Station

  • After you get to your new location, explain to your kids what they can expect at their new school. This is especially important if you move in the middle of the school year. School-age kids are going to want to know what they are walking into.
  • Find out exactly what they are nervous about and talk things over with them. That will go a long way in helping them get used to their new surroundings. They might have worries and fears you haven’t thought about and good communication is the best way to work through them.
  • Make sure you are taking them places to meet new friends once you get to your new home. Check your local MWR for kid’s activities and events to go to. If you have smaller kids, you can take them to the park because most likely there will be other kids to interact with there, and maybe other parents for you to meet too.

The most important thing is that they know that you are in control of their future, even if you are not totally sure what it looks like. Your kids will look up to you and will want to know that everything is going to be okay. Let them talk to you about what they are feeling and do your best to help them out.

Keep in mind that each of your children might handle the PCS differently. You could have one child be completely chill about everything and another bothered by any type of change.

The truth is, you know your own children, their personalities and what they might need. You can apply this to a PCS just like you would any other situation. That is going to be the best way to help your children through a PCS.

Here are a few helpful links to help your children through a PCS:

Are you moving to a new duty station soon?


What is Fort Campbell Really like?

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What is Fort Campbell Really like?

In March, we will have lived here in the Fort Campbell area for TEN years!

I can’t even wrap my mind around that. Since I left my parent’s home for college in 1997, I have never lived anywhere that long.

When I tell people I have been here for almost ten years, they look a little shocked and wonder if it is because my husband has been stationed here for all these years…

He was, from 2010-2014 he was stationed at Fort Campbell but ever since he has been in the National Guard, and we stayed in the area. We did this for a few reasons.

One of the biggest is that we can’t go back to where we are from. California is way too expensive, and it just doesn’t seem like that option is ever going to work out. Another reason is that we are just not sure where we want to settle for the long term.

We have so many thoughts about that, and we are just not sure. The third is that we have three boys in schools here, one with special needs, and we overall like how things are going. We don’t want to mess with that.

So how long will we stay in the Fort Campbell area? We are not sure. We have to see what the future brings!

There are active duty families that have been here for a long time. This seems to be the place that can happen sometimes. On the other hand, I have known a lot of people who have just come through here for two or three years, so you never know.

So, being here so long, you might want to ask me, what is the Fort Campbell area like? Is this place a good place to get stationed? Should we put it on our list that the Army may or may not go by?

Well…one thing to know about the Fort Campbell area is that different people have different opinions about the place. If Fort Campbell comes up in a Facebook group, I will read the replies and agree with some of them and wonder how the person came to that opinion with the others.

It seems like Fort Campbell is a different place for different people, so that is something to keep in mind when you look into moving here.

Where you can live

We live in Clarksville, a lot of people who live off post here live in Clarksville, on the Tennessee side. However, some people live in Oak Grove, Kentucky or further away from post, Hopkinsville, Kentucky or even up to Madisonville, Kentucky.

Where you decide to live can make a big difference in what you think of the area. There are active duty military families that live up by Exit 11 that can get to Nashville in about 30 minutes and others that live 30 minutes from Fort Campbell in the other direction, in a much more rural area.

The great thing about that is that you do have options and choices based on what you want to do. Want to live on post? You can. Want to live in a regular old neighborhood 10 minutes from post? You can. Want to buy property in a very country like area? You can. Fort Campbell is pretty flexible that way.

Where you can shop

Fort Campbell does have quite a few options for shopping. We have a Target in Clarksville, and many other stores you are familiar with. But we are also missing other stores such as Macy’s, Costco, and Trader Joes. The good news is, you can find a lot of what you are missing in Nashville. The bag news is, you have to actually go to Nashville and that isn’t going to be a quick trip.

Where you can eat

Clarksville does have its share of local restaurants. They try, they really do and we have a few favorites. However, the Fort Campbell area isn’t going to be the best place to find all the different types of foods you might be used to if you come from a bigger area. You might be missing something.

We have too many fast food places, and they seem to keep adding them. When a new building goes up, we hope for a new sandwich shop or cafe and get an Arby’s or a Taco Bell. That can be a bit frustrating.

Community life

One of the reasons Fort Campbell can be a good place for you is that overall they are pretty family-friendly. This is, however, an area where people disagree. Some people think Fort Campbell and Clarksville are family-friendly and others don’t.

The schools are a big hot button issue. We have always had a good experience in the off-post schools. Others feel very differently about that. The best thing to do is to check out what people are saying about the school but also keep an open mind. Talk to people who have had good and bad experiences to get the bigger picture.

Clarksville has a lot of community events you can take part in. From Easter Egg hunts to Halloween fun. There seems like there is always something going on. They are also trying to work on their downtown area and in the last few years, they have really added to it with new restaurants and the Downtown Commons which turns into an ice skating rink in the wintertime.

Traffic

If there is one thing I hate about this area it is the traffic. Being that I learned to drive in Southern California you would think it wouldn’t be that big of a deal but for some reason, the traffic around here gets under my skin. But I try to avoid the worst areas during the worst times.

A lot of the issue, at least in Clarksville, is that there are just too many people trying to go to the same place at the same time. Clarksville is spread out but there are only so many places to go on a Friday night.

Weather

You might be wondering about what Fort Campbell is like when it comes to the weather. The weather is really all over the place. In the fall, the weather can be nice but doesn’t stick around for very long. We can get a lot of rain, straight-line winds, and tornado weather.

Winter can bring snow, however, we usually don’t get very much. Usually no more than an inch or two at a time. However, we do have a lot of snow days. We have had years where we have had over 10 snow days and years were we haven’t even had one. Last year we might have had one, so I am guessing this year we could end up with a snow week, we will see.

If you live on post, the schools there do not close as often as they do in Clarksville. The post itself has closed for terrible weather but that doesn’t happen very often. It gets cold here if your idea of cold is anything under 30 degrees, which it is for me. If you are used to negative degree winters and snowstorms, you will think the winter is quite mild.

Spring brings a lot more rain and more of a chance of tornado weather and straight-line winds. One year, we lost power for 37 hours. Yikes! You do learn to adapt to this but it can still make me quite nervous.

Summer can be pretty humid starting in June and by August you will just be over it. However, you probably will have to wait until mid-September, or even October to really cool down. This year was the worst. We were still in the 90s when October started.

As I think back to my time in the Fort Campbell area, it has overall been a good experience. I am not sure I would have handpicked this area out of the entire United States, but the Fort Campbell area works for us for now.

Although we are a National Guard family now, we have a lot of the perks of the military. We can shop at the Commissary and a lot of the people I meet are connected to the military in some way. We don’t have to go far for the military community, which is nice.

If you have just received orders to Fort Campbell or wondering what Fort Campbell is like, feel free to reach out. I would be happy to answer any questions you might have 🙂

Have you ever been stationed at Fort Campbell???

The Gifts You Can Receive During a Deployment

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The Gifts You Can Receive During a Deployment

I was so thankful to have met Jennifer at MakeHer this past October. She has an amazing blog and website, dedicated to military spouse support. She truly has a heart for military spouses and the military community! Enjoy this post she wrote about the gifts you can receive from a deployment!

Deployment number five, C.H.E.C.K

Though still many weeks away, I can’t escape the quiet excitement at the thought of wrapping up another deployment. This weekend, I found myself thinking that as much as I don’t enjoy being without my husband for nine months, I can’t help but be grateful for the blessings these months have given me.

Yep, you read that right, blessings!

Deployments always challenge me, and yet the challenge with each is revealed differently. I’ve been a girlfriend, a newlywed, a 1st-time mom, a tired mom to a toddler and newborn, and twice. I’ve navigated solo parenting as a part-time professional and full-time mom of two young, rambunctious kids. Five deployments, in nine years.

I’m the first to admit that this was the hardest of our five. If I could have known then what I know now, I’d tell the new mom to stop worrying. Dad’s absence in those early months won’t impact his ability to connect with his son. I’d say to her to sleep more and clean less. I’d tell her that waiting months to un-decorate the house after a major holiday is totally acceptable. I’d remind her that chicken nuggets and pizza are sometimes just what everyone needs. Oh, the things I’d tell her!

For those who’ve been there, we wouldn’t wish this kind of separation on anyone. And yet, deployments remind me to appreciate small moments with our kids, knowing their dad would give anything to enjoy that same moment. The kids and I have seen each other at our worst and our best, day after day, and we’re better for it. Through hardship, I was given a chance to get to know my children in a way I might not have otherwise. It’s hard not to be grateful for that gift.

For me, deployments have a “grounding” effect. It’s an opportunity to remember all that I love most about my husband and our family. It’s an opportunity to renew my appreciation for all the quiet contributions he makes to my life and our family’s life. And this time, even more than previous separations, I was reminded that my world just isn’t the same without him in it. It’s so easy in the day to day bustle to forget the things that matter most. Deployments force you to notice. I consider that a gift.

So, number five was different. And the differences took me by surprise. Dad’s presence (or absence) was noticed like never before – at the dinner table, during bath time, during midnight runs to the ER, during a myriad of “firsts,” during birthdays or school award presentations, or even on a day of kite flying in the front yard. Dad was missed in prior years, too, but this was different. This time the kids were old enough to ask, to miss, to cry, to be angry, to be sad in ways they’d never felt, and I’d never had to console.

I was different too. This time, sending packages and writing letters were things I just didn’t make time for – or at least not as often as I felt he deserved. And yet, thanks to the gift technology gave our deployed family, we have Skype-d, Facebook-ed, and remained connected in a way that changed this experience for all of us.

My husband was able to hear our young daughter’s vocabulary bloom in real-time, and I have been able to see the smile that his children’s laughter brings to his eyes and his face. Perhaps because you know what is at stake, those moments carry so much more weight than a typical Sunday afternoon family interaction. And I’ve cherished them, especially when I leave our 4-year-old alone with her dad and come back to find them playing peek-a-boo with the web camera and each other. I feel like separations are often overrun with moments like this that make your heart simultaneously break and swell with love.

I knew my husband loves our children. I knew he was a great father, but to see the simultaneous joy and pain in his eyes when he talks to our children over a webcam – well, there again, a gift of sorts. Watching him watch them changed how I saw him.

Many talk about the sacrifices of the military spouse, not just the Soldier. It’s true. There are sacrifices on both sides, but there was never a moment when I felt mine were greater than his. In addition to being reminded of my own strength I, perhaps for the first time, truly understand my husband’s strength, and it will forever change how I see him. Yet another gift.

Before he left, as is a tradition of ours, he hid about 20 notes around the house for me to find. On each, a word of encouragement or just a phrase to make me smile. And for nine months, I’ve been able to wake up and go to bed each morning seeing my collection of notes that now line the mirror on my dresser, reminded in bright pink that I am cherished. Another gift.

So yes, I’d give anything to have had my Soldier home these past nine months. And yes, this letter would read far differently if he hadn’t come home to me, to us. Even still, when I think about the impact of these months apart, I cannot imagine a path that could have helped me learn so much about myself or my husband in such a short amount of time. I can’t imagine a life other than this one, with all its challenges and its blessings.

Through each separation, I am forced to remember, and then somehow manage to forget, that I am stronger than I believe. Perhaps someday I’ll learn how to hold tight to that lesson.

There are always blessings, even during deployments. You just have to be willing to see them, embrace them, and treasure them. We ALL have our bad days, but seeing some sun in this experience is what makes it tolerable. And if you let it, this experience that you’d prefer not to have will allow you to thrive and grow. Another gift.

Written in 2014, this letter sat on my computer as a reminder of what hard looked like. It eventually became the inspiration for my site, Pride and Grit. Our five deployments have ranged from 4 months to 15 months, totaling 46 months over nine years. Jennifer Pasquale is a military spouse of 13 years, 7 moves, and 5 duty stations. Through her site, Pride & Grit (www.prideandgrit.com), Jennifer is giving life to stories of military hardship from which others can draw strength and inspiration.

Deployments can be so difficult to go through, but the good news is, there is a lot of deployment support out there. Please visit the deployment support section of my blog, and know you are not alone in your military spouse journey.