Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

Julie

Indivisible With Sarah Drew and Justin Bruening

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Indivisible With Sarah Drew and Justin Bruening

A few weeks ago I was able to screen a copy of the new movie Indivisible, starring Sarah Drew and Justin Bruening. This movie is a story about a military chaplain, his family, his marriage, his deployment, and his faith.

INDIVISIBLE is based on the extraordinary true story of Army Chaplain Darren Turner and his wife Heather. With a strong, faith-filled marriage, the Turners are ready to follow their calling: serving God, family, and country.

Fresh from seminary and basic training, Chaplain Turner and his family arrive at Fort Stewart. Yet before the Turners can even unpack their new house, Darren is deployed to Iraq. Heather is left taking care of their three young children alone … as well as serving the families of the other deployed soldiers.

Despite a desire to stay connected with their loved ones, the harsh realities of war take a daily toll over the course of the Battalion’s extended deployment. Meanwhile back home, babies are born, kids keep growing, and nerves are frayed with every late-night knock on the door.

With deeply etched battle scars, the soldiers’ long-awaited homecoming is much different than any of their families anticipated. Carrying burdens the other can’t comprehend, the Turners must decide if they’re willing to face one more battle: the fight to save their marriage.

From the director of THE GRACE CARD and the studio that brought you FIREPROOF and WAR ROOM comes INDIVISIBLE, the story of one marriage … one family … under God. In theaters this fall, the movie stars Sarah Drew, Justin Bruening, Jason George, Tia Mowry and Madeline Carroll.

What I liked most about this movie is how they would go back and forth between the soldiers in Iraq and the families back at home. To tell the story of the soldier and their family, we need to be able to see what everyone is doing and they did that well.

Indivisible With Sarah Drew and Justin Bruening

Heather Turner (Sarah Drew) looks on proudly with her children (L to R) Ellie (Samra Lee), Meribeth (Abigail
Hummel) and Samuel (Lucas Boyle) during an awards ceremony in INDIVISIBLE–in theaters October 26, 2018.
 (Photo courtesy of © 2018 Provident Films LLC and TheWTA Group, LLC. All rights reserved.)

There were many times during the movie, that I started to tear up. From seeing what FOB the soldiers first went to in Iraq (my husband had also been sent there) to a lot of the emotions Sarah Drew’s character felt as the spouse of a service member.

While this movie is faith-based and has that element, it is also a very military family-based too. They had many different characters who experienced the deployment to Iraq a little differently and I think a lot of military families could relate to at least one of them.

Indivisible With Sarah Drew and Justin Bruening

Jason George plays Michael Lewis in INDIVISIBLE–in theaters October 26, 2018. (Photo courtesy of © 2018
Provident Films LLC and The WTA Group, LLC. All rights reserved.)

That being said, this movie might be hard to watch. The movie does deal with PTSD, and what can happen in a war. It takes place in Iraq in 2007, and during that time, things were so very difficult over there. So please, keep that in mind before going into this movie.

What one service member or military spouse can handle is different from another so use your best judgment when it comes to this movie. And plan to bring your tissues if you go. You will need them.

What soldiers and military spouses go through can be so complicated and fragile. To portray them on screen isn’t easy and they might not always get everything right. I really appreciate when movie studios want to make a movie about our lives as military service members, families, and spouses. This one gives us some pretty real and raw scenes that can hit you emotionally and I feel as though they did their best to show us what one family went through during a deployment to Iraq as well as what life was like when they came back home.

Indivisible With Sarah Drew and Justin BrueningL to R: The Turner family, Heather (Sarah Drew), Meribeth (Abigail Hummel), Samuel (Lucas Boyle), Darren (Justin Bruening) and Ellie (Samra Lee), pose after an awards ceremony in INDIVISIBLE–in theaters October 26, 2018. (Photo courtesy of © 2018 Provident Films LLC and The WTA Group, LLC. All rights reserved.)

If you are a fan of Grey’s Anatomy you will recognize “April” and “Matthew” and I think they work well together as a couple, no matter the setting. Jason George, who plays “Ben” is also in the movie as a fellow soldier. I loved seeing these actors again as well as other actors you might recognize, Tia Mowry, Michael O’Neill, and Eric Close.

Indivisible comes out October 26th, 2018 and hopefully will be coming to your local theater.

Have you seen Indivisible? What did you think?

Santa’s Dog and Bandana Giveaway

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Santa’s Dog and Bandana Giveaway

If you caught me on social media in September, you might have seen a post about Santa’s Dog. This book was written by JoAnn Sky and illustrated by Ed Koehler. JoAnn has offered up an awesome giveaway for my readers 🙂

Santa’s Dog is a rhyming story about the adventures of Santa’s best dog, Lance. He falls from the sleigh on Christmas Eve and is taken in by the animal shelter and then brought home by a military family who needs some help as Dad is called to serve his country. When Christmas Eve comes, Lance must decide whether to return to the North Pole with Santa or stay with the family.

Santa’s Dog is perfect for all children, dog lovers, and military families.

JoAnn Sky is an award-winning author who writes adult contemporary romance, young adult romance, and children’s stories. Originally from the midwest, JoAnn lives in Northern Nevada with her family and three crazy rescue dogs. 

Now for the giveaway. We will be giving away TWO copies of the book Santa’s Dog, each one with a bandana. One will be red, one will be green.

Santa'a DogHow do you enter?

Simple, leave a comment letting me know how old your military children are 🙂 US/APO addresses only! 

This giveaway will go until Thursday, October 26th, 2018, 11:59 pm and a winner will be picked the next day!

Good luck 🙂

And if you would like more information about Santa’s Dog, please visit Dogs and Books 🙂

You can also visit JoAnn Sky’s site or Ed Koehler’s site. 

7 Must Have Baby Products For Your New Baby

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7 Must Have Baby Products For Your New Baby

This post is sponsored by the Breastfeeding Shop

7 Must Have Baby Products For Your New Baby

Getting ready for a new baby is always a whole lot of fun and with a new baby comes new baby products. Some you need, some you don’t.

When you go to register for your baby shower, you can become quite overwhelmed by everything that is out there. What kind of stroller should you get? Which type of crib? Do you even need to buy a swing? There are so many options!

And while it is true you don’t need everything, even if everyone else on the block has it, there are some baby products that are a must, and that you don’t want to live without.

Here is my list of 7 must have baby products for your new baby:

Bassinet/Co-sleeper

All babies need a place to sleep. For me, I loved having them in my room with me at first so they started off in a co-sleeper and eventually moved to a crib months later. Having this by my bed was good for me and for them. I also liked having a safe place for them to go when I needed to take a shower or put them down so I could get things done. One of our co-sleepers turned into a Pack N Play which was also very handy once they were a little older.

Crib

While we didn’t use a crib right away, having one was a must. As they got older, I knew they would be safe there and would be able to sleep. Cribs come in all types of styles and designs so you should be able to find one you love. Having a crib that turned into a toddler bed is also a good idea because that means when they do hit the age where they can climb out, you can turn the crib into a toddler bed and not have to buy anything else for a few more years.

Auto-ship diapers

This was something we only had with my youngest son but having diapers come to your house on a regular basis is a must. No more running out at night to grab a pack, or always making sure you add them to your shopping list. My Diaper Shop is a good place to set that up and make things a little easier even before baby comes. With this service, you can choose from two different brands of diapers, Comfees, and Cuties, and set things up to deliver to your home as often as you need them.

7 Must Have Baby Products For Your New Baby

Breast Pump

Having a good working breast pump for your new baby is a must. If you have TRICARE you are able to receive one no-cost breast pump per birth event. You can do this through The Breastfeeding Shop. They offer a great selection of pumps and you can easily order yours right from their website or app.

Stroller

A stroller was must for me so that I could go on walks, have a place for them to be during appointments or even playdates for my older children. A double stroller saved my life during those early years as my older two boys are just about two years apart. Find one that fits your needs and has good ratings and talk to your friends about what they have used and loved.

7 Must Have Baby Products For Your New Baby

Baby carrier

Finding a good baby carrier is also a must. There are many different types of slings or other babywearing items. You might want to buy a couple of different types for different reasons. Try a few out, and see what works for you and your lifestyle. Some people babywear all the time, others only when they go out. I know when my youngest was born and I had a 4 and 6-year-old, my baby carrier was a must that allowed me to have two free hands when I had to take all three of them to the store.

Swing

Although I didn’t use the swing for very long, having one helped so much in those early months. I used a few different swings and my favorite was the one that had many different options for the type of movement they would create for the baby. Often times I could use the swing to put them down for a nap or to calm them down when nothing else worked.

For more information on your TRICARE benefit breast pump, please visit these blog posts too:

What You Need To Know About Ordering Your TRICARE Benefit Breast Pump Accessories and Supplies

FAQs About Your TRICARE Benefit Breast Pump Through The Breastfeeding Shop

Why You Don’t Have to Buy Bottles For Your Breast Pump

At the End of the Day, Sometimes You Just Have to Suck it Up

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At the End of the Day, Sometimes You Just Have to Suck it Up

At the End of the Day, Sometimes You Just Have to Suck it Up

Deployments are no joke. I hate deployments, and yet I know they are a part of the military life experience. And while there are so many ways to make it through a deployment, sometimes you just have to suck it up and get through the days apart, even if you don’t want to.

The biggest thing is making sure you have what you need to get through the deployment. This is going to look different for everyone. Some people love wine, others, not so much. Some people love chocolate, and others perfect another type of candy.

And when I talk about what you need to get through a deployment, food and drinks can be easy to bring up, but in reality, you need more than that. You need good friends by your side, hobbies to focus on, a possible career path for yourself, and even something like a deployment haven in your home.

Basically, anything that will help you through the time apart.

If you are not sure what this is for you, think about what makes you happy and what can brighten your day. Think about what has worked in the past, and go from there.

Sucking it up is simply finding ways to cope.

It is not dwelling on all the negatives but working towards enjoy life, even when they are away. This doesn’t mean you won’t ever be sad, or won’t ever need to cry. It doesn’t mean you have to think the deployment is the best thing ever or that you are never allowed to vent about what you are going through.

So if you are just starting your deployment, or are in the middle of one, make sure you are surrounding yourself with people and things that will help you. That will make the deployment much easier for you and time will go by a little faster.

Make sure to read my other deployment posts! 

When You Hate Deployments

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When You Hate Deployments

Our first deployment came about nine months after my life as a military spouse first began. This was after spending about 4.5 months apart waiting to join my husband in Germany. He left the following August, and that deployment didn’t end until November of the following year.

That was such a long time to be away from my husband. Even now, all these years later, I can’t even believe we got through that. I had a baby during that deployment, a toddler, and lived in Germany, far away from family and what we were used to.

Over the years my husband deployed three more times. I got through each of these the best I could. I got through them one day at a time, one hour at a time sometimes. I somehow made it through those challenges.

I thought that my deployment days were over, but as we are starting to possibly get ready for deployment #5, I am starting to get a bit nervous. There is so much on my mind, and I just don’t know how that time apart is going to go.

When You Hate Deployments

See, I hate deployments.

Sure, there are benefits from them. You can grow as a person, you can do things you otherwise wouldn’t, you can find ways to become a better person.

You can bond with other spouses, you can learn more about yourself, and you can feel stronger than you ever have once they come home.

But I hate deployments.

And although my kids are much older this time, I am still nervous. No, I won’t have to change all the diapers by myself, but I will have two teenagers during the deployment.

All my kids will be in school, but I will be too, with all the stress that brings.

When You Hate Deployments

And I will still miss my husband just as much. The one I decided I wanted to spend my life with. The one I have so much fun with. My biggest cheerleader.

So as I look ahead, what can I do when I already know how much deployments suck? What can I say to myself to help get in a better mood about this? What can I do to make the future deployment less painful?

I am going to try to think positively

I am going to go into this deployment trying to think positively about the next year. This will be hard to do. But I want to start this deployment with the hope that everything will be okay. I want to go into the deployment without hating it and to do that I have to change my thinking about what is to come.

I am making lists of people and things that will help me

I know I have people I can depend on. I know there are things that will help me through. I am going to make a list of these people and things. From who I can call on my hardest deployment days, to the easy meals to make during one of those deployment nights when cooking is the last thing I want to do.

When You Hate Deployments

I am going to remind myself the deployment is not forever

This is something I will have to repeat to myself over and over. Deployments don’t last forever; deployments don’t last forever, deployments don’t last forever. They start, they are, then they end.

It might seem a bit strange to have to remind yourself of this, but I know for myself, I can get stuck in feeling like the deployment will last forever. Even when I know that logically that is impossible, my heart doesn’t always understand.

I am going to give myself permission to cry

If I need to cry, I am going to cry. But I am also going to work on having good days, even though my husband will be across the ocean.

I am going to have to stay strong for my kids, I am going to have to be there to help them through the deployment, and I am going to have to be strong for them as well as for myself.

But somedays, I might need to cry. That is how I get the frustration and sadness out. That is one step to help feeling better about everything. Crying might just be what I need to do.

I am going to take it one day at a time

I am going to take this deployment one day a time because sometimes that is all I can do. There are going to be challenges along the way, and not every day is going to be a good one. But that doesn’t mean I won’t be able to handle what comes my way.

Not everyone likes to count down the days of a deployment, but I do. (Not online of course, just in my own journal, OPSEC and everything.) I like to see how far I have come. I like to know how much longer I will have to go. I like to know where I am in the middle of the deployment.

And I think it is good to celebrate the little things during a deployment. I have been in FRGs that have 100-day parties. I get excited about a new movie coming out, or a new book release. I make plans, and make memories with my kids, even when he is gone.

I know during our next deployment there will be days when I will wake and say, “man, I hate deployments.” However, I am going to try hard not to be too sad and upset the whole time he is gone. That isn’t going to be good for me, my kids, or even my husband.

He has a job to do, and he will need to get it done. And I will be here, cheering him along, making each day count, and trying to thrive more than just survive during the deployment.

Make sure to visit my deployment section for more blog posts on getting through your next deployment. You can also join my blog’s Facebook group for support during your military journey.

 

The End of a Deployment is A Good Time to Try Something New

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The End of a Deployment is A Good Time to Try Something New

So you are at the 8-month mark, finally! You have weeks to go, you are counting down the days in your head (not online of course, OPSEC and all,) and you are not quite sure you are really at this place.

How did you make it this far? One day at a time? Somehow you are at the end of the deployment. And now things are dragging again. Time is moving at a snail’s pace.

So close, yet so far.

What can you do about that?

Why not start a new hobby? Is there anything you have been wanting to learn? Anything that you can put time into?

What about a new habit? Maybe start working out again? Or cooking different types of meals? Think of something you can change to mix things up a bit.

When the days look the same, they are more likely to drag. Maybe starting a Friday night movie night, or Taco Tuesday night is just what your family needs to get things moving again.

You can also start thinking about after they get home. Will you go on a trip somewhere? Will you guys be pcsing soon after?

Focus on something, anything, other than the fact that the deployment is almost over. I know, easier said than done, but still.

Think about how you can keep staying busy all the way until the day they come home. Keep moving, keep learning, and keep getting out there. That will make the last weeks go by a bit faster and less chance of feeling like you will never get to that well-needed finish line.

Deployments do end. Homecoming will eventually happen. And your service member will be back in your arms again.

What do you do during the last weeks of a deployment to make sure time still passes quickly for you?  

 

That Darn Emergency Contact

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That Darn Emergency Contact

PCSing

One part of military life is possibly moving every few years. In a 20-year long military career, you could move anywhere from two or three to eight or nine depending on career plans.

For some, moving every two or three years is normal. Some military families move even more often. While sometimes you do get to stay at the same duty station for a longer period of time, that isn’t the norm.

When you move, you really have to start over. You have to make a new house a home, you have to find new doctors, dentists, even where you are going to do your shopping.

You also need to sign your children up at new schools, daycares, or child development centers. And usually, those places ask for one important thing…an emergency contact.

This shouldn’t be a big deal…

But, when you are new to a location, you might not have anyone you trust with your kids. How could you? You don’t know anyone yet!

So what do you do? Who should you put down?

Sometimes you can put down your FRG leader, other times, one of your spouse’s coworkers. You can put down a family or friend that lives far away but that might not help if there was a true emergency.

Luckily, the odds of having to call those numbers are super low. I think in all the years of having kids, a school has never had to call that emergency number, maybe once?

Make it a goal to make some friends at your new duty station, and everything will fall into place when it comes to your emergency contacts. It’s not that you shouldn’t worry about it, you want the school or daycare to be able to get ahold of someone if they can’t get ahold of you, but it can be tricky when everyone you trust with your kids lives 2,000 miles away.

Have you ever had to put down someone you didn’t really know on your kid’s forms? How do you handle this issue? 

5 Reasons For Military Spouses To Go Back To School

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5 Reasons For Military Spouses To Go Back To School

Last year, I thought long and hard about what I wanted to do in the future. I graduated with my BA in Sociology in 2001 and I never really knew what I was going to do with it. I never did get a “Sociology” job and ended up working in other ways after college. Then I started having children and started to stay home.

I have been a work at home mom for years now and while I love what I do (writing) and I love the flexibility of working from home (it’s so nice) I started to feel like I wanted to pursue something else. Something I was passionate about, something I felt I could do, and something that would be a good choice for my family.

Before I had my kids, I worked as a doula. And I loved being around birth, even though I didn’t do it very long. I had already been to quite a few births before I had my oldest baby. I loved being there, helping women through giving birth. I loved watching new life come into the world.

5 Reasons For Military Spouses To Go Back To School

Last fall, I sat down with a list of careers I could see myself pursuing. Careers I would need to go back to school for, but where I could find a good job once I was done. The thing about a Sociology degree is by itself; it can be hard to find a good paying job. So while I was thankful to have that degree, I knew if I wanted to pursue any of those careers on my list I would need to go to school.

As I talked to a few people in different career paths, thought about where I saw myself in the future, and figured out what I wanted to do, there was a clear winner…

Nursing!

I wanted to become a nurse. Right now, labor and delivery has my heart, but we will see where the road leads.

I needed to take a few prereqs before I could apply to nursing school. I decided to take this year to complete them and start nursing school next fall or spring. I started my first class in August, an online one, and I am not sure how I feel about that format.

5 Reasons For Military Spouses To Go Back To School

I will start my first in-person class in 17 years in a few weeks! It seems like a big change. Although I have deadlines with my work at home job, I work very flexible hours. If I need or even want to go somewhere at a certain time, I can usually make it happen. I just do my work around that.

This will change a little the rest of this school year with having to go to class a couple of times a week. And then once I do start nursing school, my life will look completely different. While I am very excited about this path, change is never easy.

I am not sure how everything is going to go. I am not sure how much time I will have for the things that are important to me. But I know everything will work out, and the sacrifice will be worth it.

As I think about this blog post, I wanted to share a bit about why I think it can be so good for military spouses to go to school. While going to school, or back to school isn’t an option for everyone, and it might not be the right season for you, going back to school can be something you can think about in the future.

5 Reasons For Military Spouses To Go Back To School

Here are 5 reasons for military spouses to go back to school:

MYCAA

If your spouse is on Title 10 orders, an E-1 to E-5, W-1 to W-2 or O-1 to O-2, you can use MYCAA for certain degrees, licenses, and certificates. MYCAA will give you up to $4,000 for your education. This is money, just for you to go to school, and can be a good reason to go back.

You never finished and always wanted to

You may have started college when you were younger, then life happened, and you decided to do something else. It has been a few years, and now you want to go back. Now is a perfect time to do so.

See what colleges are in your local area. I am a big fan of Community Colleges. You can check out what degree programs they have and go from there. Online programs are also a good idea and allow you more flexibility during military life.

Career change

Maybe you do have a degree and even a career. But as life went by, you decided you wanted to do something else. That’s okay; it’s never too late to go back and get another degree to do something else. Whether you are completely changing your focus, or just going to get some more education, starting a new career can be a very good thing for you and your family.

You want your own career

Maybe it is just time for you to work on your own career. Often times, military spouses can put their own hopes and dreams on the backburner because of the craziness of military life. Other times, they become the stay at home parent while their kids are growing up.

But as you know, children do grow up, and you might find yourself in a place where school makes more sense. This was part of going back to school for me. My kids were older, and I knew they could handle different schedules.

I also won’t have to depend on childcare as much, my oldest will be about 17 when I graduate. These are big hurdles for some people, and as your children grow, some of those challenges go away, and that makes working on your own career a little easier.

The GI Bill

Did you know that your service member spouse can transfer all or part of their GI Bill to you? This can be a good way to pay for school, especially if you can’t use MYCAA or plan to get a higher degree. There are some new rules when it comes to transferring the GI Bill which goes into effect next summer so if you ever want to use their GI Bill, get things figured out soon.

There are many reasons to go back to school, whether going back is something you have always wanted to do, or the time suddenly seemed right.

Did you decide to go back to school? What went into your decision?