Julie

7 Tips to Enjoy Your First FRG Meeting

March 7, 2019 by Julie 3 Comments

Yes, FRG meetings. Some people love them, some people hate them. But either way, FRG meetings are such a good thing to have, even if they have issues being implemented. Even if certain FRGs are not working as well as they could be.

FRG stands for “Family Readiness Group” and you can find them in the Army, the Army Reserves, and the Army National Guard. The Navy also calls them the FRG. The Air Force has their Key Spouse Program, the Marine Corps has their Family Readiness Program, and the Coast Guard has their Work-Life Program which all try to accomplish the same thing.

The FRG is there to inform spouses as well as help support them, especially during deployments.

I have been a part of a few different FRG groups, and each one was a little different. My FRGs in Germany felt more like a real community of spouses, working together to get through our deployments or other struggles. In the states, things felt a little different but underneath it all, there was still support in these groups.

I do believe that going to at least one FRG meeting at your new duty station, is a good thing to do. If nothing else, to see how things are going to go. Maybe the FRG meeting won’t be as bad as you think it will be. Maybe there won’t be a lot of drama. Maybe there will be support there that you are yearning for.

As you figure out when and where the FRG meets, and get ready for your first FRG meeting, here are some tips to keep in mind:

Other people are going to be just as nervous as you are

If you are an intrvert, or even if you are not, you might be a bit nervous about going to your first FRG meeting. This is normal. Most people are going to be nervous doing this.

There will be new people to meet, there will be new information to learn, and that can feel so intimidating. Just remember, other people are feeling the same way, and might just be looking for a friendly face, just like you are.

The FRG is supported by volunteers

One thing to keep in mind is that the FRG is going to be supported by volunteers. People who have taken time out of their schedules to help, in many different ways. Giving them a little bit of grace is important.

In some cases, a spouse was “voluntold” to become a leader or take on another position. They might feel like they had to say yes, and might not have wanted to take on the position in the first place. This can make things tricky, and can be an big issue in the military spouse world.

You could become one of them

You could volunteer too. You don’t have to step up to be the FRG leader. There are many other ways to do so.

The FRG includes positions such as Liasion, Assistant Leader, Secretary, Treasurer, Newsletter Ediotr, Activties Chairperson, Fundraiser Chairperson, and Advisor. You can also offer to help in smaller ways such as sending birthday cards to the single service members in the unit, or making food on a regular basis for events.

When you get to your first FRG meeting, they might let you know what positions are available or tell you how you can help. If not, you can always ask where you might be needed. Volunteering through your FRG can be a great way to get to know people a little better and become a part of something that can help a lot of military spouses.

Drama doesn’t have to rule everything

One of the biggest complaints about FRGs is the drama. And I am not going to lie, there can be some serious drama. And that drama can get nasty. But it doesn’t have to be that way forevery FRG group.

You can go into your meetings knowing you don’t want to be a part of that. Treating people with respect and responding to situations in a mature manner can go such a long way in controlling the drama. Don’t let the fear of drama keep you away from FRGs alltoegther.

Grace for other people goes a long way

The FRG is made up on humans, and humans can make mistakes sometimes. Your leader might feel at bit overwhelmed at times, or there could be positions that just haven’t been filled yet. When you go to attend your first FRG meeting, seeing the potential instead of just bashing what is, can be important.

Grace for others can go a long way, and can change things for the better. Try to do what you can to be kind to others within the FRG and work towards postive changes. FRGs can be really amazing places if everyone is working together to make them so.

Support is always important

The support military spouses can receive through the FRG is so important, especially during deployments. These spouses are the ones who understand what you are going through because they are going the same thing you are. Most likely, your spouses will be leaving together, will be deployed together, and coming home together.

While you are probably not going to hit it off with everyone in your FRG, your FRG can be a good place to find some understanding friends. This might not happen right away, but the potential is always there. So please remember that as you attend your first FRG meeting.

The FRG won’t fix all of your problems

In the end, the FRG won’t solve all of your problems. The FRG isn’t set up for that. The FRG can’t make your spouse come home any sooner, the FRG can’t raise your children for you, and it can’t take away all of your struggles.

The FRG can help with your lonliness, can help you stay busy, and can give you tools to make it through your deployment, or anything else military life might throw at you.

Have you ever had a good FRG experience? What do you think the key to that was?

When Your Spouse is Deployed and You Only Have Two Hands

February 8, 2019 by Julie Leave a Comment

This post is sponsored by Baby Tula! I was also provided free product for review.

Whenever my husband was deployed, I hated going to the grocery store. I know there are more options these days such as grocery store pick-up or affordable delivery services, but back during our previous deployments, we didn’t have any of that.

So, once I had three kids, it became a big issue. I could sometimes get around this by going to the grocery store when my older two were in school, or trade with a friend. However, there were sometimes when I still had to take all three and head to the store. Or really anywhere I needed to go.

There are different tools out there that can help us during our solo parenting days. One tool that helped me with my babies was having a good baby carrier to use, especially when I had to take all three kids to the grocery store. My baby would go in the carrier, he would stay close, then I would have two free hands to shop, and help my other children.

I could also use this carrier if we were going out to a special event or even a birthday party. I had a stroller as well, but a baby carrier is easier to use in some situations where a stoller would not work.

A lot of military spouse moms bring a carrier to MOPS or other types of playgroups. This allows them to move around, while still keeping their baby close. There are so many benefits to owning one, even if your husband is not deployed.

So in those times when I did have to take all three of my children out somewhere, that baby carrier was a lifesaver. I only had two hands, with three little kids, I needed a solution.

Finding the right carrier is important. You want to find one that you like, that works for you and your baby, and is supportive.

The Explore Baby Carriers by Baby Tula would be a fantastic choice!

This carrier is versatile, easy-to-use and the first carrier that allows you to use it in an ergonomic front-facing position.

There are a variety of prints to choose from, so you should be able to find something you love.

They have adjustable panels to use as your baby grows so you can use this Baby Tula from 7-45lbs.

They have three ergonomic carry positions, facing in, facing out, and back carry.

They have a military discount! Yay! 10% off for active duty, veterans, and retired military. Military status will be checked by a 3rd party.

If you are like me and your kids are all over toddler age, you can look at some of Baby Tula’s other products. They have shoes, blankets, backpacks, lunch bags, and more.

Baby Tula sent us one of their super cute backpacks in the Hot Lava theme. Isn’t it cute?

And also one of these lunch boxes in the Chomp theme:

If you are pregnant or already had your baby and would like a new carrier, please visit Baby Tula, and don’t forget the Baby Tula 10% military discount.

How has a baby carrier helped you when your spouse was away?

How to Celebrate Valentine’s Day if Your Spouse is Deployed

February 7, 2019 by Julie Leave a Comment

It’s time for Valentine’s Day! The holiday all about love. The one where you feel the pressure to buy your spouse candy chocolates, or flowers, or teddy bears, and make plans to go out to eat on the most crowded night of the year. Super fun right?

Or not…

Maybe you think the whole thing is silly. A holiday made up by Hallmark to get spouses to buy cards for each other, and make more money. And with the lack of candy hearts this year, is Valentine’s Day even worth worrying about? (PS I did find some at Target a few weeks ago if you are wanting some.)

via GIPHY

Maybe you love Valentine’s Day but unfortunately this year, your spouse is deployed and you will not be spending the day together. In fact, you aren’t even sure you will be able to talk on Valentine’s Day.

via GIPHY

In the past, you guys have showered each other with gifts and went out to dinner, not even worried about the crowds of other couples sharing the night with you. But this year, none of that is going to happen, so what can you do?

via GIPHY

This post does contain affiliate/referral links!

Well…one thing you could do is plan a Galentine’s Day with you friends. You probably aren’t the only one without your spouse on Valentine’s Day and this can be a good way to spend the time. You can have yummy food, either do a potluck or go out, bring chocolates for each other, and don’t forget the wine. And these days, you can even find Galentine’s Day party favors.

via GIPHY

You can also order dinner in from your favorite restaurant, so many options these days. Treat yourself to a nice dinner after the kids go to bed. While this isn’t exactly romantic, you will at least be able to have a nice meal, in your pajamas if you want to.

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And if you planned enough ahead of time, you can send your deployed spouse a nice Valentine’s Day care package. Here are some ideas from Jo, My Gosh! And really, if you didn’t send the package in time, that’s okay, just make it an “I Love You” themed one and you will be good to go.

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If your spouse is deployed on Valentine’s Day, you can just have a romantic movie marathon and enjoy the fun of a cheesy Rom-Com. Or, if you are simply not in the mood that type of thing, how about a Netflix end of the world movie instead? Bird Box anyone?

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You could always take the time to write some love letters, remembering all the things you love and miss about your spouse. Find some pretty stationary and get writing. In this world of video chats and text messages, there is something to be said about sending and receiving an old fashioned love letter.

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And if nothing else, you can use this Valentine’s Day as a time to spoil your own children with big candy hearts, cute cartoon Valentines, and a heart-shaped pizza for dinner. They will appreciate that and you will be making some fun memories together with your kids.

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All in all, you can have a good Valentine’s Day, even if your spouse is deployed. It’s just one day, and if this holiday is special to you as a couple, you can keep special even across the miles. You might have to get creative but that can be fun and a different way to express your love to one another. And there is always next year!

via GIPHY How do you like to celebrate Valentine’s Day when your spouse is deployed? Do you do anything special for yourself or do you just not worry about the holiday at all?

18 Signs That You Have Been Stationed at Fort Campbell During Your Spouse’s Military Career

February 5, 2019 by Julie 2 Comments

Fort Campbell is located on the Tennessee and Kentucky border, literally. Some people love being stationed at Fort Campbell, some people hate being stationed at Fort Campbell, and some have such mixed feelings it really depends on the day.

We have lived in the Fort Campbell area for almost nine years now. We have seen some changes, some good and some bad. We have gotten to know the area quite a bit, and will probably be here for a while longer.

Because my husband is now in the National Guard, he has not been stationed at Fort Campbell for nine years, however, I know people who have been or who have been here even longer. This is a place you might end up and stay forever, or you might just spend the typical three years.

Either way, here are 22 signs that you have been stationed at Fort Campbell during your spouse’s military career:

You can’t get over how long it takes to get to the mall, or really anywhere off post since EVERYTHING is so spread out.

You are still holding out hope for that nice, new shopping center in that field outside of Gate 7…even though you know it isn’t going to happen.

You got really excited to see not one but two Starbucks on post, each right by a playground for your kids, perfect!

You had to really think about if you wanted to live in Kentucky or Tennessee and weighed the pros and cons of both options.

Your kids get a snow day when there is not even an inch on the ground, or in some cases, nothing on the ground.

You can get to Nashville in less than an hour…unless there is traffic. Oh wait.

You had your baby at BACH and assumed that meant they were born in Kentucky but they were really born in, “Fort Campbell, Tennessee” which really is only a place listed on their birth certificate.

By the end of July you are so hot and humid, even going to the pool won’t help. Then you remember how you will feel in January.

You have to laugh at the endless comments about will there be school or won’t there be school during the winter months all because of a 40% chance of snow.

You feel like the area has every fast food chain in the world…well except for In-and-Out.

You only live 5 miles from post but it takes your spouse 30-40 minutes to get home from work some nights.

You know Tiny Town is the longest road in the world. It goes on forever.

If you live off post, there is a 90% chance that your neighbors are either military, former military, or grew up in the military.

You can still hear the booms, even though you live 15 miles away.

Finding a job in your field isn’t easy, and you might have to go to Nashville to find one.

You might get stuck behind an Amish buggy coming back from Walmart.

You now know the difference between a tornado watch and a tornado warning.

You can’t help but appreciate the history of all the units at Fort Campbell.

Have you ever been stationed at Fort Campbell? Where did you live there?

Living in the PNW: A Post About Being Stationed at JBLM

January 15, 2019 by Julie 1 Comment

So happy to have this guest post on being stationed at Joint Base Lewis-McChord (JBLM) by Selene!

Please let me know if you would like to write your own guest post about where you have been stationed during military life!

Living in the PNW: A Post About Being Stationed at JBLM

Fort Lewis is one of the largest military installations in the U.S. With two posts for Army servicemembers you get Main Post and North Fort, and for the Airmen, they have McChord Air Force Base.

Main Post has your commissary, PX, Burger King, and few other eateries, along with the MWR, the bowling alley, theater, and a splash pad for the kiddos. Rumor has it the Wahlbergs are opening their famous Wahlburgers restaurant on Fort Lewis come 2020!

North Fort is woodsy, quieter and not as crowded. That is where you can find a beach where you can fish and hang out. You can also rent cabins and boats on North Fort.

Housing on Main Post is like most others- the further up the chain you go the nicer they are. North Fort is where you can find the upgraded houses, unfortunately you won’t find yourself living there unless your servicemember is an E-5 or above.

If you cross Freedom Bridge you will find yourself entering McChord Air Force Base, and let me tell you, the grass is definitely greener on the other side! The BX is slightly larger than the PX on Fort Lewis. There’s an indoor jungle gym for the kids with your basic food court. Bonus, you can utilize the CDC, housing, and Dr.’s on both posts! The commissary on McChord is amazing! So open and not as crowded as the one on Fort Lewis. My favorite thing about McChord are the retired Air Force planes they have on display. You can park your car, walk around and read about some of the planes history.

A few popular towns surrounding base are Lacey, Olympia, Dupont, Puyallup, Tacoma, and Yelm. Dupont is made up of mainly military families. It’s directly outside of post and is quite expensive. Lacey and Olympia are south of base, a lot of families choose to live there because it’s quieter and they claim the commute south is faster than traveling north of base. Yelm is out in the backwoods. If you like feeling like you’re in the woods then that’s your place! Puyallup is further from base so not as many military families. It’s a decent city and moderately priced, but the commute is further from everything! Lakewood is 15 minutes north of base (on a good day) and is centrally located.

Lakewood and Tacoma are what I like to think of as the Hot Spots. Newly married couples often choose these cities because they’re close enough to base but still close enough to all the fun. 6^th street in downtown Tacoma is where the nightlife lives. A local burger spot that we absolutely loved is SHAKE!SHAKE!SHAKE!

If you find yourself in the Stadium District of Tacoma try and stop there. They’re home to my husband’s favorite red licorice shake. Stadium district is also home to Stadium High School. Have you seen 10 Things I Hate About You? Remember the Massive castle like high school with the football field overlooking the water, the one where Heath Ledger serenades Julia Stiles? Well, that’s where it was filmed! And if you’re up for watching a football game there bring your walking shoes because those stairs are steep!

If you’re thinking of adding to your family while stationed in Washington I cannot recommend the hospitals surrounding base enough! They are incredible! We welcomed our first born at a hospital in Tacoma, and no hospital has lived up to the standards they set there.

I-5 can take you anywhere you need to get, whether it’s Portland, Seattle, or even Canada, with that being said; traffic can be a nightmare between 3-6pm. Learn the backroads and learn them well, because you will need them to navigate you during those hours.

There are so many parks and places to explore! Chambers Bay Park is a favorite place of mine. It’s on a golf course which hosted the U.S Open in 2014 so if you have a golfer in your life they’ll love it. Fort Steilacoom park in Lakewood has a really big and open dog park for your furry ones to run wild. Point Defiance is in Tacoma and is another favorite because there is so much to do there! Seattle is the big city.

You can purchase a City Pass on base and enjoy discounted tickets for quite a few attractions. Pikes Place is open 7 days a week from 8-5 so if you want to see it get there early because it is a main tourist spot. If you’re not a Seattle Seahawks fan, let me apologize now. The 12^th man does not care if you like another team. Seahawks will be played on every station at every restaurant during football season. The Olympic Peninsula is breathtaking! Mt. Rainier is also so beautiful and offers hiking trails for the advanced hiker and family friendly trails. You wont regret making the drive up there!

Sure, it rains almost every day, but the summer months and the Fall really do make up for it. I have never lived in a place where you can experience all 4 seasons as they’re meant to be or be able to drive 15 minutes in any direction and get to enjoy a beach or the mossy woods. Washington is a wonderful state if you don’t let the rain distract you from the beauty. I promise you wont regret living there.

Hi everyone! My name is Selene. I’ve been Married to my Soldier for a little over five years now, and we have two toddler boys. I am currently a stay at home mom, an active Teen Mom watcher, lover of my boys, and currently taking advantage of the MYCAA and furthering my education. Feel free to reach out to me on Instagram (@seleniiee) with any other questions you may have about JBLM.

5 Tips For Using Your TRICARE Benefit Breast Pump

January 7, 2019 by Julie

5 Tips For Using Your TRICARE Benefit Breast Pump

This post is sponsored by the Breastfeeding Shop!

If you are pregnant or have a new baby, you could be getting ready to purchase or find your breast pump. Having a breast pump can be a good idea for a variety of reasons. Breast pumps are useful for encouraging your milk supply, to allow you to continue to breastfeed when you go back to work, and to help you store milk if you do need to be away from your baby for any reason.

Here are five tips for using your breast pump so you can get the most out of what the pump can provide for you and your baby.

Have a nice set up area for your breast pump

Find a good place in your home where you will set up your breast pump. You can keep everything you need in that spot, and make sure the area gives you the space you need to pump. Once your baby comes, you will always have a place to go to pump or nurse your baby.

Order your breast pump early

Make sure you order your breast pump early so that it is ready for when your baby comes. The Breastfeeding Shop is the best place to do so in order to receive your no-cost breast pump through your TRICARE benefit. You can easily fill out their order form, all you need is a prescription from your doctor. You can also use their handy app to order as well. The Breastfeeding Shop has quite a variety of breast pumps to choose from.

Find the right breast pump for your needs

When you are picking out your breast pump, make sure to find the one that works the best for your needs. Some moms will be returning to a job outside the home and will need to use a pump every day. Others will only be using their pumps when they need to make extra milk or to build up their supply. Research the different breast pumps to find the one that will work best.

Learn how to use the breast pump before your baby comes

Once you get your breast pump, make sure you know how to use the pump before the baby comes. Get the parts and accessories cleaned and ready. This will save you time during those newborn and early baby days.

Make sure you have supplies and accessories

In additions to breast pumps, you are also entitled to breast pump accessories through your TRICARE benefit. You will want to start out with enough of them and then plan to order more as need be. There are limits on what you can receive with your TRICARE benefit and you can order them from the Breastfeeding Shop too.

If you are pregnant or just had a baby and have TRICARE, make sure you order your breast pump. The Breastfeeding Shop can get you started.

How to Plan a PCS Road Trip

December 17, 2018 by Julie

This post is sponsored by Pcsing.com!

You are stationed in New York, and your spouse gets orders to Arizona. Report date? June 15th! With your three kids, two dogs, and big old van, why not turn your PCS into a PCS road trip?

Sometimes when you PCS you will get on an airplane, and land in your new location hours later. You are excited about your new duty station, but the plane trip? Not so much. If you go on a PCS road trip, the actual time it takes to get there can be just as exciting.

When planning such a trip, there are a few things you should keep in mind in order to make your trip successful.

Check the routes

You know where you are and where you need to go. Check and see which route would be best. Is there anything you really want to see? Use Roadtrippers.com to help you plan your trip. There might be a quicker way to get to your new city, but if you want to have a better trip, it might be worth taking a longer route to see landmarks and sights you never would otherwise be able to see.

Watch the weather

Think about the time of year you are leaving and plan accordingly. You don’t want to get stuck in Colorado in January. If you do have to drive during the winter months, taking the southern route might be a better idea. Still, no matter what your route is, keep an eye on the weather and add in extra days just in case.

Give yourself enough time

Your spouse has to report on a certain date, make sure you plan for that. Give yourselves a lot of extra time so you can enjoy the ride and not be rushed. Think about all you want to see on the way and plan accordingly.

Stop early for the day

If you have kids, and pets, or even if you don’t, stop in the afternoon so there is time to go swimming, let the kids play on a playground, and have dinner together. You don’t want to pull into a hotel at 9 pm at night, still needing to find some dinner for the kids.

Prep your kids

If your kids are old enough, prep them for the trip. Let them know your route and give them their own map. Let them help plan some of the stops. Bring “surprises” for them to open during the more boring parts of the drive.

Have back up plans

What will you do if you have a hotel reservation in Utah but get stuck in a massive traffic jam while still in California? Think about back up plans, and make sure you have extra money to spend in case you need to add unexpected stops or if you have a car emergency along the way.

Connect with friends

If you have friends along your route, see if you can see them. You might even be able to stay with them instead of a hotel. If nothing else, you can plan your meals so that you are able to meet up and connect, if only for a few hours over lunch.

Don’t forget the snacks

You are going to need snacks, and many of them. You could always purchase them on the way but having a snack plan is a must. This will help if you still have an hour to go before it is time to stop for dinner and someone gets hungry. You also will want to have snacks for the hotel room or even for when you get to your new area.

Plan for pets

If you are on a PCS road trip, you are going to have your pets with you. Make plans for them. Does your dog get car sickness? Does your cat suffer from anxiety in the car? Talk to your vet about what you might need and make sure that anywhere you will be staying allows pets. Some hotels and motels do not.

Pcsing across the country can be overwhelming but turning that trip into a fun road trip can be the way to go.

Have you ever gone on a PCS road trip? Where did you go?

Visit PCSing.com for your next PCS! You can find out information about your next duty station, read articles about PCSing, and more.

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Julie

Either way, here are 22 signs that you have been stationed at Fort Campbell during your spouse’s military career:

5 Tips For Using Your TRICARE Benefit Breast Pump

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