Julie

Enough With the Dependa Crap

September 17, 2018 by Julie

Enough With the Dependa Crap

I’m over it. I am so tired of the dependa crap. I am tired of people throwing that word around, using it to demean others, using it as a weapon, and hiding behind it as if it makes them better than anyone else.

Enough with the talking down to other military spouses because they live their lives differently than you do.

Enough with the Facebook group bashing because you think you are right and don’t have room for other opinions.

Enough with assuming military spouses are only there to take from an unsuspecting soldier.

We as a military community are better than that!

We should be anyway.

We should be showing other military spouses compassion.

And if we can’t do that, then we should learn how to keep our mouths shut.

We don’t have to be friends with everyone, we don’t have to like everyone, but enough with calling people names when we don’t get along.

We are all in this together.

We all go through deployments, we all have lonely nights, we all know what it is like to wait for someone.

In the midst of solo parenting, we don’t have the time for this.

The truth is…

Some of us military spouses work outside the home, some of us work in the home.

Some of us are stay at home parents, some of us have been over the years when it worked best for our families to do so.

Some of us have college degrees, some of us don’t.

Some of us are going back to school, and some of us are waiting until our children are a little older.

Some of us work 9-5 jobs, some of us work the overnight shift.

Some of us have been military spouses since we were 18, some of us joined this lifestyle at 30.

Some of us have five children, some of us have one child, and some of us are okay with a child-free life.

Enough with the dependa crap!

It doesn’t look good on you, hate for others never does.

We are a community of diverse, unique, and amazing men and women. We might be from different places, we might have different backgrounds, but the one thing we all have in common is supporting a military service member.

And are their military spouses that are doing things to hurt their service member? Sure, what community doesn’t have that? But in my personal experience, these spouses are not the norm.

Quit calling out an entire community, and work to make relationships within it.

Quit assuming that anyone that says something positive about the military is just using their spouse; there are some pretty amazing things about being a military spouse and it is okay to talk about them.

Quit assuming that anyone that is having a difficult time with this lifestyle deserves to be made fun of, not everything is easy and sometimes we do need that extra support.

Enough with the dependa crap!

It doesn’t make sense, it tears us apart, and it tears apart the very community we need during our time as a military spouse.

Do better, be better, understand what you can, and have grace for what you can’t.

I have met so many military spouses during the last 13 years that I have been a military spouse. Almost every single one is trying to do what they can to love their service member spouse, raise their children if they have them, work on their own careers, whatever they might be, and strive to handle this crazy lifestyle.

Enough with the dependa crap! We are so much better than that!

Preparing For Your Fall or Winter Baby

September 12, 2018 by Julie

Preparing For Your Fall or Winter Baby

This post is sponsored by The Breastfeeding Shop!

It doesn’t seem like it was that long ago that I was pregnant with my first little boy, waiting for the long summer to end. The last trimester of pregnancy isn’t fun, but if you are due during the fall and the winter, you really can’t wait for days to get cooler, and summer to be over.

14 years ago, I was due with my first baby on October 13th. I knew when he was born we would be right in the middle of fall, with winter coming soon. We were in California at the time, so winter meant colder weather, but I knew I wouldn’t have to deal with snow.

I was due December 18th with my second little boy. This time, snow was a concern, I was in Germany.

With my third, I was due December 1st, in Tennessee, where snow and freezing temperatures are also possible.

If you are having a baby in the fall or winter, you simply have to prepare a little differently than if you are going to have a baby in the spring or the summer. You have to think about the cooler weather, what a snowfall would mean, and even the start of school for your older children.

There is always a lot going on during that time of year and it is best to prepare. Here are 5 things you can do to prepare for a fall or winter baby:

Buy the right clothing

Make sure you have the right clothing for your baby. You do not want them to freeze, but you also don’t want them to overheat. The fall can be tricky. Some days can be warmer than others, and then one day, temperatures will fall and what felt comfortable won’t anymore.

Layers are a good idea. That way, you can add or take off depending on the weather and where you are. Sleepers with a sleepsack can be a good option. That way baby can stay warm without overheating.

Warming your home

Think about how you will warm your home. You don’t want your baby to get too cold or overheat. You might need to change the temperature you are comfortable with once baby comes home. Keeping your home between 68-72 degrees is a good idea.

Get your breast pump ahead of time

You will want to make sure you receive your TRICARE benefit breast pump before the baby comes. While you can get the breast pump later, having the pump ready before your baby comes will help you learn how to use the pump, and figure out how you will set it up in your home. Through The Breastfeeding Shop, you can order your breast pump through their website or their app. They have quite a few types of breast pumps to choose from and offer excellent customer service.

Plan for the holidays

Make plans for the holidays ahead of time. Ideally, staying in your own home would be best, especially if your baby is due right around the holidays. Traveling with a newborn can be pretty stressful, and traveling around the holidays is a very hectic time to do so. Tell family and friends that you want to plan for a visit sometime in the new year or invite them to come to visit you.

Back to school

Back to school time can be stressful for any child. Adding a new baby to the mix can be difficult. Make sure that your other children know what is going on with the new baby and are still able to spend some time with you. Let them talk about their school days and any fears they could be having with the new school year.

Want to read more about The Breastfeeding Shop? Here are a few other posts about what they can do to help you get your pump:

How To Order A Breast Pump That Is Covered By TRICARE

What You Need To Know About Ordering Your TRICARE Benefit Breast Pump Accessories and Supplies

FAQs About Your TRICARE Benefit Breast Pump Through The Breastfeeding Shop

4 Tips For Your Next Short-Term Move

September 7, 2018 by Julie

This is a sponsored post written by me on behalf of CORT for IZEA Worldwide. All opinions are 100% mine.

4 Tips For Your Next Short-Term Move

Short-term moves can happen in military life. Not every military family stays put for three to four years. Maybe there is a special school that your service member needs to go to; maybe it just makes more sense to move home for the time he will be deployed, whatever the reason, a short-term move can come with its only complications.

Here are four tips to help you through a short-term move:

It’s okay to unpack

Living out of suitcases stops being fun after about a week. If you can, unpack in your temporary home. Make the place your own, as much as you can. Decorate the walls, put up a few photos, add those personal touches. No, you can’t do all the things you would want to do if you were going to live there for a few years, but you can still make the place a beautiful place to live, even for a few short months.

Use CORT For Furniture Rental

While there are some things you will want in your home, it can be much easier to rent furniture on a temporary basis, put your regular items in storage, and enjoy what works for your temporary home. It is one thing to buy a new couch to fit a home you will be in for three years and another when you will only be there for a few months.

Here is a little bit more about what CORT Furniture Rental can do for you:

CORT can offer you furniture rentals piece by piece or even at a room at a time.

CORT has 156 showrooms across the United States.

With CORT you can get your furniture in as little as 48 business hours.

CORT also offers housewares packages for your kitchen, bathroom, and the bedroom.

CORT makes moving more manageable, especially if you need furniture during a short-term move.

You can still make friends

It can be tempting not to want to put yourself out there when you know you will be moving again soon but don’t be afraid to make friends. Even if you are only able to be friends in person for a few months, you can carry on your friendship online and through phone calls for the rest of your lives. And you never know when you might end up at the same duty station again.

Make a bucket list

Make a bucket list of all the things you want to do during your time at your short-term location. This way, you won’t be moving away without seeing what you wanted to see. If you need ideas, you can always check out a tour book, talk to people who live there or read about the area online.

Please visit CORT Furniture Rental for more information and to help plan your next move.

Moving is never easy and can be a bit overwhelming when you know you are going to be someplace for a limited amount of time. These tips for a short-term move should help you the next time you have to do so.

16 Fun Memes For Military Spouses Living the Military Spouse Life

August 29, 2018 by Julie

16 Fun Memes For Military Spouses Living the Military Spouse Life

Whether you are new to military spouse life, or a seasoned military spouse, there are parts to military life that can seem a bit overwhelming, a bit frustrating, or a bit unique.

We work our way through deployments, no matter how long they might be. We PCS, then we PCS again, and learn more about the world through our journey. We stand by as our service member serves our country, doing what we can to be there, and living the best life possible within military life!

Here are 16 memes that talk about just that, military life and what it means to be a military spouse…

Bored at the end of your deployment? Try something new! It’s a good time for it 🙂

The decisions we have to make simply because we move around a lot 🙂

Yes! Get the things you need to get you through 🙂

Moving is hard! You have to figure out new everything!

Yes! If they put on a uniform, you are a military space, no matter what the uniform looks like.

Such is this military spouse life! Take it one day at a time, if you have to.

Yes! We all need friends like that 🙂

OPSEC is so important. Make sure you always follow it!

Sometimes our past can help us through our future…

So true! Such mixed feelings when they are gone.

I always seem to do that in the dark! Whoops! At least it means he is home?

That’s the beauty of PCSing, you know where all the Targets are!!!

It can be so hard to remember these things when they change all the time!

Yes, yes we do 🙂

Such the way things go…just keep swimming, just keep swimming.

Make sure to start with your lists!

How long have you been a military spouse???

Finding Meaningful Friendships In Military Spouse Life

August 27, 2018 by Julie

Finding Meaningful Friendships In Military Spouse Life

We all need people. People we can depend on, people we can connect with, and people we can have meaningful relationships with.

We might make a new friend, and find out they are moving in three months.

We might have the perfect group of friends, knowing we will PCS in just a few months.

We might be brand new to our duty station and feel overwhelmed with starting over yet another time.

The truth is, we need to find these meaningful friendships to help us through our military spouse lives.

Having a deployment buddy makes the time go by that much faster. Knowing you have people to invite over for a pizza night when he has 24-hour CQ, your three-year-old refuses to pee in the potty, and five-month-old starts waking up every two hours again.

Finding your people will get you through some of your hardest times as a military spouse. People you can depend on, people who get this life, and people you can help in return.

Finding those meaningful friendships isn’t always easy, and sometimes they can take longer than we want to find the right person, but here are some things to think about when it comes to finding meaningful friendships in military spouse life:

Open up about your struggles

This one is hard for me, so very hard, but when you can open up about your struggles, you can bond with others who have been through them too. Maybe it is a long deployment you didn’t think you could get through, maybe you had a miscarriage last year, maybe your marriage is struggling, and you simply don’t know what to do about it.

Opening up and sharing everything to everyone you meet is not a good idea, but if you feel like you can trust the person, opening up can be a way to connect and start the journey of becoming much closer friends.

A year is still enough time

Having five to ten years or more of in-person friendship is ideal, that isn’t our reality as military spouses who move every few years. What can happen is that you can meet someone, be around them for a year, and continue your friendship across the miles.

You can text, email, and video chat. You can plan to see each other and be intentional about connecting even though you are far away. Plus, you never know when the military might bring you guys back around to the same duty station in the future.

Stay in touch

If a friend moves away, make sure you take the time to reach out to them. Send a text asking how they are doing, comment on their photos on Facebook, or send an email asking them about the next stage of their life.

This can be difficult sometimes. Life does move on. People get involved at their new duty station. But that doesn’t mean that when you say goodbye to a friend, that has to be the last time you connect with them.

Be a listening ear

Be there for people. Offer up a listening ear. Be trustworthy so that you can connect with others. Being there for others will go a long way in helping you find those meaningful relationships that you are looking for.

Make sure you are getting out there

Are you getting out of the house looking for ways to make friends? Did you try once and then said forget it? Sometimes we try to make friends once, it doesn’t work out, and we don’t want to try again.

I would encourage you to keep going. At a military installation, people are always moving in, there are always new people to meet. It is normal to get discouraged when new friends aren’t happening as soon as you want them to, but you have to keep putting yourself out there.

If you are on the shy side or can’t seem to get yourself to go places, try online. There are probably a lot of different Facebook groups out there for your duty station. Some might be more general and others hobby or age specific.

Remember, so many of the other military spouses at your duty station are looking for meaningful friendships too. You are not alone in this. Try to get out there, meet others, and do what you can to find friends, no matter where you are stationed, or how long you will be there.

Where did you meet some of your best friends???

When They Miss Stuff

August 20, 2018 by Julie

When They Miss Stuff

Your service member doesn’t have to be deployed to miss stuff. This can happen at any time. Maybe they have a school to go to, maybe they have extra training to attend, maybe they have a 24 hours CQ. As military spouses, we get used to this…sort of.

We know they can’t be there for everything, we even know that had they not joined the military, their civilian careers could keep them from missing things too. If we are a national guard or reserves spouse, we already know that from experience.

Still…

When they miss stuff, we still get frustrated about it.

When they miss that first day of kindergarten, and you have to video chat with them about how it went later on.

When they miss driver’s training, and you wonder why you, the more paranoid parent has to be in charge of this.

When they miss your 30th birthday, and you know, even if you celebrate later, it won’t be the same.

Sometimes they will miss things, and it won’t bother you at all. You are used to doing this type of stuff alone. Have they ever been able to attend a parent-teacher conference? No, you simply stopped expecting that once your child got into the 4th grade.

But still…there is a part of you that wishes they didn’t have to miss so much.

There is a part of you that wishes that you didn’t worry so much that they will miss you son’s high school graduation, or sending your daughter off to college. That they would never have missed a birth, the first steps, or the first words.

That there would have been some way for them to serve in the military, and not miss anything important.

But you know that isn’t the world we live in. You know you have to do so much of this alone, even if your civilian friends never have to. You know this is just part of the military life.

You do what you can to include your spouse. You send them photos, and videos, and try to tell them about the event as best as you can.

You hope and pray that they will be there the next time.

That although they missed your 1st son’s birth, they will be there for your second. That even though they missed your 10th anniversary, that they will be there for your 15th. That even though they missed one birthday, they would be there for the next one.

We find military spouse friends that understand what we go through. Those who also potty trained alone, and started solids alone, and did so much of the early baby years without a partner in the house.

We connect with others who know what it can be like to assume that their spouse will be there for something and then at the last minute find out they won’t be. It would have been better to think they couldn’t come in the first place.

We have had to change birthday party dates, paid extra to change flight tickets, and even postpone weddings because they had to do something military related. We get frustrated, but we do what we have to do. We make the best of the time we have together and hope they will be around more than they are apart.

You miss things because sometimes you simply can’t be in the same place at the same time.

You have to decide which kid will have to go without, or who will have to deal with the disappointment of their mom or dad missing one more thing. You have to work to help your kids through the loss because they often don’t understand why their military parent had to miss something so important.

You listen to people say that parents need to be there for this, that and the other. But you know that your spouse had to be gone during that time, and there was nothing you could do about that. You make the best of that loss; you hope your kids will be okay and move on because dwelling on the fact that they were not there for the first few months of your daughter’s life, isn’t going to do anyone any good.

As a military spouse, you know your spouse will miss stuff. More than their fair sure. You do what you can to include them; you do what you can to stay strong, even if you want them there more than anything else.

You make things work because you have to, and you want to support your service member through this life they have chosen, through the good and the bad.

What has been the hardest thing for your spouse to have missed because of military life?

Military Spouse Bloggers That Blog About Deployment

August 16, 2018 by Julie

Military Spouse Bloggers That Blog About Deployment

Going through a deployment? Looking for support or advice?

There are a lot of ways to find that support, one of them is to find blogs and blog posts that can help you through your deployment.

Here are a few military spouse bloggers you should follow that focus a lot on deployments:

Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life

Well I know you already know about Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life or you wouldn’t be reading this. If you are new, I am an Army National Guard Spouse, former Army Active Duty spouse who has been through four deployments. I have three boys, and love being able to help other military spouses through deployments with my words. I have a big deployment post section you are going to want to check out.

Jo, My Gosh

Jo, My Gosh fell in love with a sailor, and while her husband eventually got out of the military, Jo has many posts on deployment, including posts on care packages. She will tell you about cute themed ideas, puns, and the ins and outs of sending them to your spouse when they are deployed.

The Seasoned Spouse

The Seasoned Spouse is run by Lizann, a marine spouse with four children. The motto of the Seasoned Spouse is, “we are all in this together” and its true. We can’t do military life alone, and Lizann’s blog is here to help. She also has a free deployment Facebook group and a deployment master class.

Airman to Mom

Amanda, a former air force member, traded her combat boots for a diaper bag and shares about deployments from the service member as well as the spouse’s perspective. She also has a series, 31 Days of Deployment Stories you are going to want to check out.

Army Wife 101

Army Wife 101 is a lifestyle community for military spouses founded by Krystel. She has a deployment section with a wealth of posts to help you through your own deployments. Look for posts on reintegration, time apart, and even a Diary of a Deployment series.

The Military Wife and Mom

The Military Wife and Mom is run by Lauren, married to an active-duty marine, with two children of her own. She will help you through your deployments with her posts about military life, and motherhood. She also has a fantastic Deployment binder to help you through your next deployment.

Adventures of a Young Wife

Grace, an army wife and marriage and family counselor, owns Adventures of a Young Wife. Here you will find a wide variety of deployment themed posts, from solo parenting to pre-deployment, as well as posts on other aspects of military life, mental health, and wellness.

A Semi-Delicate Balance

JD, a Navy spouse, owns A Semi-Delicate Balance, a blog about finding balance as a new parent, a working mom, and a military spouse. You can find posts on care-packages, explaining deployment to your kids, and how to create a deployment binder.

Birdie and Bubba

Birdie and Bubba is owned by an army spouse, with plenty of posts to help you through your next deployment. She writes about communication during a deployment, OPSEC, and even what podcasts can get you through a deployment. (She has included one of my favorites!)

Countdowns and Cupcakes

Countdowns and Cupcakes is owned by Rachel, a Navy spouse, where you will find posts on deployment as well as a huge library of posts on care packages. She also has a shop where you can buy her super cute care package flaps to use in your own care packages.

I am sure I could add many more military spouse bloggers to this list! Let me know who to add! And if you blog a lot about deployment too, let me know who you are 🙂

What You Need To Know About Ordering Your TRICARE Benefit Breast Pump Accessories and Supplies

August 15, 2018 by Julie

What You Need To Know About Ordering Your TRICARE Benefit Breast Pump Accessories and Supplies

This is a sponsored post by the Breastfeeding Shop.

If you don’t already know, you can receive one breast pump at no cost through your TRICARE benefit, for every birth event. A birth event would be giving birth to a baby or an adoption. This started in 2014 and allows military spouses and service members to be able to have a new breast pump for each baby that they have.

Learn How To Order A Breast Pump That Is Covered By TRICARE, if you would like more information on the breast pump part of this benefit. You can order your pump easily through The Breastfeeding Shop’s website, or app.

If you have ever used a breast pump before, or are planning to, you might be curious about accessories and supplies and how TRICARE works as far as those go.

TRICARE does cover the following supplies, up to 36 months after the birth event:

Standard power adapters
Tubing and tubing adaptors
Locking rings
Bottles and bottle caps
Shield/splash protectors
Storage bags

You will also be able to get two breast pump kits per birth event.

If you are interested in ordering accessories or supplies, you can easily do that through The Breastfeeding Shop’s website. They have an Accessory Resupply Order Form that makes ordering easy to do.

You will need to upload a prescription if you did not order your breast pump through them, or if your previous prescription does not state supplies or accessories. It is very important that your prescription says this. If your original one does not, you will need to get another one.

You can also put down your physician’s name and information, and The Breastfeeding Shop will be able to contact them directly. However, this will take more time than if you can upload the prescription yourself.

You can specify which brand of supplies you need. The Breastfeeding Shop also offers two types of storage bags, the Lansinoh Breastmilk Storage Bags or the Kiinde Twist Pouches Breastmilk Storage Bags. You can also order a mix of the two.

Make sure to also visit some of my past blog posts with the Breastfeeding Shop to learn more about what they offer and how they can help you receive your TRICARE breast pump benefit:

The Breastfeeding Shop Has a New App and it is Amazing

How to Decide What Breast Pump is The Best One For You And Your Baby

FAQs About Your TRICARE Benefit Breast Pump Through The Breastfeeding Shop

And here is the Accessory Resupply Order Form if you are in need of ordering them 🙂

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Julie

Enough With the Dependa Crap

Preparing For Your Fall or Winter Baby

16 Fun Memes For Military Spouses Living the Military Spouse Life

Finding Meaningful Friendships In Military Spouse Life

When They Miss Stuff

Military Spouse Bloggers That Blog About Deployment

What You Need To Know About Ordering Your TRICARE Benefit Breast Pump Accessories and Supplies

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