Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

Julie

The Best Ways to Celebrate Your Marriage From Across the Miles

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The Best Ways to Celebrate Your Marriage From Across the Miles

The Best Ways to Celebrate Your Marriage From Across the Miles

It was our 5th anniversary. I woke up that morning and something was different, something was off. We had spent our 1st anniversary on a weekend getaway, our 2nd, 3rd and 4th anniversary, we had a nice dinner together. But this was number 5. That’s a big deal when you are newly married. 5 years is longer than high school or college and gives you enough time to look back on where you have been. But this anniversary was going to be different. He was deployed. He was in Iraq and we would not be spending our special day together.

I knew that in order to have a good day I would have to make it so. We would not be going on any trips or going out to dinner. We wouldn’t be going to the movies or a play or even just have a lazy day together. No, this anniversary would be different.

I decided to order a steak dinner from a local restaurant and have the food delivered after my little boys went to bed. I ate the dinner sitting in front of the computer waiting for my husband to come online. Celebrating your anniversary this way might seem strange but can be normal for a military spouse.

Anniversaries are there to celebrate your marriage. You celebrate the time you have had together. To look at the past and look forward to the future. Celebrating your marriage is important. Whether you have only been married a year or for fifty years.

How can you celebrate your marriage when they are deployed or away at a training? How do you celebrate when your heart aches for them? What can you do to feel closer?

Here are some of the best ways to celebrate your marriage from across the miles…

Write love letters- Love letters are the best. You could write your spouse a love letter about how much you love being married to them. Talk about when you first got married and your hopes for the future. You can pour out your heart on pretty stationery and mail it off to them, or include it in a fun care package. 

Make a scrapbook- There is nothing better than going through old photos and looking back on previous memories during your marriage. You can take some time and put together a scrapbook for your deployed spouse. You could keep it simple and just put photos in an album or you could use stickers, cute paper and add a bit of journaling to the book. You could also make a book on a website like Shutterfly.

Send a care package- Put together a special anniversary care package. Here are some ideas from Jo, My Gosh. You can decorate the box however you want and include some of your favorite items. You could go with a romantic theme, or just put in items you know your spouse would love. If you can’t get the package to them around your anniversary, that is okay too. Anytime would be appreciated. 

Have a video chat date- Planning when they will be online might be difficult but if you can plan for a special video chat date on your anniversary, go for it. You could sit and talk over dinner. You could plan to watch the same movie at the same time or just enjoy being able to see each other on the video. You could also do this over the phone instead. This is not going to replace a real date but it’s the best way to spend time together when you are miles apart. 

Make plans for after the deployment- If you can’t celebrate your marriage during the deployment, make plans to do so after. You could plan a special trip or even just a meal at a nice restaurant. You can always celebrate your anniversary later. There is no rule that it has to be on that day. We have been able to celebrate our anniversaries months later by making a plan for a getaway when we were able to after a deployment.

Leave a comment and let me know how you have celebrated your marriage during a deployment. Have you done anything special and creative?

The Perfect Monthly Box For The Military Spouse

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I was provided a free box for review!

There are so many monthly boxes out there these days. There are boxes for book lovers, pet lovers, health food lovers, and really, a box for everyone and every interest.

Brave Crate Monthly Box

Did you know that there is a box just for military spouses? Brave Crate! If you haven’t heard about them before, Brave Crate is a monthly box made just for us military spouses.

For military spouses, counting down to being reunited with their deployed service member can be miserable! That’s why each month Brave Crate send a box of curated self development and personal wellness products that allow her to shift her focus away from counting the days and onto setting goals and finding joy- so that she can conquer deployment and meet her spouse at homecoming as the strongest and most resilient version of herself.

Brave Crate Monthly Box

I love Brave Crate because they always have a variety of products. And always includes a book, some sort of edible item, a challenge to go along with the monthly theme, and other fun goodies.

During a deployment, a box like this can make your day and help you focus on you instead of just on how much you miss your spouse. Deployment is the perfect time to work on yourself and Brave Crate can help you do so.

Brave Crate Monthly Box

And while Brave Crate is perfect during a deployment, it is also a great box to get even if your spouse is home.

Sound good?

If you are interested, which I hope you are, you can sign up here. Make sure to use the code SWCL to receive $5 off your first box. You will be glad you did!

And make sure to follow Brave Crate on Facebook and Instagram too 🙂

All of the photos in this post are from the December Brave Crate box with a COZY theme 🙂

 

Surviving A Military Deployment

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Surviving A Military Deployment

Surviving A Military Deployment
I am sitting in my living room, in our 3rd-floor stairwell apartment in Schweinfurt, Germany. We just got back from the park, and my two-year-old is finally asleep. I am nursing my baby to sleep and will put him down in a bit.

I plan to take a well-needed bubble bath once I do. It’s been a day. It’s been a week. It’s been a rough deployment.
 
And we still have so much more time to go…
 
Way too many days…way too long. And while every day is a day closer, the time ahead is just…well I am not sure how I am going to do this.
 
As I lay my baby down, I have no idea that his Dad won’t see him again until he is almost one. Or that after he comes home, it will be hard for him to bond. I have no idea that the deployment we thought would end in the summer would get extended again, and then again, and that he wouldn’t be home until right before Thanksgiving.
 
I leave the room and run the bath. I will probably read for a bit as I always do but I can’t stop thinking about things.
 
Surviving A Military Deployment
What if my husband never comes back?
 
What if he does and he isn’t the same?
 
What if I have way too hard of a time getting through this that the deployment breaks me forever?
 
It’s so hard not to worry about these things. They happen. They have happened to my friends.
 
It’s so hard to know how to have faith all will be okay when you know it might not be.
 
Deployments are so hard…and it’s okay to feel like you can’t go one more day.
 
It’s been 11 years since that deployment. Time has moved on. My boys have gotten older. We have been through more deployments.
 
Surviving A Military Deployment
They never get any easier. But you do learn how to cope.
 
I still hate the thought of being away from my husband, even though we make it through each and every time.
 
And although I would like to think that I could rock any future deployment we might go through, I also know that they could break me, just like they have done in the past.
 
If you are going through a deployment, know you are not alone. I have been there. Others have been there.
 
If you are about to start a deployment, know it is okay to be scared, that being worried about your spouse and what the deployment will be like is normal.
 
Know that you will grow as a person during the deployment. You will find ways to cope. You will deepen your friendships with others. You will figure out how to get to that finish line.
 
As military spouses, we do what we have to do because of who we love and the career our spouse has picked. But that doesn’t mean everything is easy or that we will never have a bad day. It just means we can find the strength to make it through…whatever comes our way.
 
If you are a military spouse looking for support, please take the time to check out my deployment blog posts here on Soldier’s Wife, Crazy Life. I have many posts on deployments based on my own experiences as a military spouse.
 
Remember, you are not alone, there are people who want to help you through this, and people who can stand by you as you do. You got this military spouse, you do <3

Shopping All-American For Your Holiday Decorations

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Shopping All-American For Your Holiday Decorations

Shopping All-American For Your Holiday Decorations

This is a sponsored post! 

The holidays are here! I can’t believe it. Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s Eve always seem to come in a blur of excitement and memories.

As you look ahead to these holidays, you might be waiting for your spouse to return home from a deployment. There have been a few times when my husband got home right before Thanksgiving. These holiday homecomings were the best as he was home with us in time to celebrate.

You might be waiting on family to come for a visit. Maybe this is the first time they have visited you at your new duty station and you can’t wait to share your new home with them.

Or maybe you are excited about this season because you plan to host some friends for the holidays. Often times, when the service member is away, spouses get together and celebrate so that the days are still a lot of fun and you can enjoy them with others who understand what it is like to go through a deployment too.

Whatever the reason, as you get ready to decorate your home, how about going with an All-American theme? You can do this by purchasing holiday decorations that were made in the USA. One of the best ways to do so is through the new website, AnytownUSA.

AnytownUSA is a marketplace with sellers from all over the United States. Sellers have to certify that they comply with FTC “Made in the USA” Guidelines.

Why is this so important? A lot of people want products made in the USA. According to a Consumer Reports article, people want to buy “Made in the USA” products for a few different reasons. They want to help keep manufacturing jobs at home, to help the US economy, to keep America strong in the global community, and to be patriotic.

Geralyn Breig, the founder of AnytownUSA felt it is so important to support US businesses. AnytownUSA solves the problem of where to find these products by offering them on in one place.

On AnytownUSA you will:

  • Find one-of-a-kind handmade items, custom-made by skilled craftsmen and women in the US.
  • Discover small and medium regional brands, manufactured in towns across the fifty states from Hawaii to Maine.
  • See select national brands that proudly still manufacture some or all of their product lines right here at home.
  • Learn the stories of these amazing craftspeople and proud companies.

On each product page, you can see the “Made in the USA,” “Made in the USA of US and imported material,” or “Made in the USA of imported material” symbol in order for you to know exactly where your product is coming from. There is also a “Handmade in the USA” symbol to let you know if the item was handmade.

Products sold on anytownusa.com are certified by sellers as produced and labeled in accordance with FTC guidelines for products made in the USA.

Another exciting thing about AnytownUSA is that they have a military discount. At checkout military members and spouses can click “military discount” to receive 10% off every item, every day, from every seller. This will be done by using ID.Me to verify military service. How great is that?

Let’s get back to the holidays. Whether you simply want to decorate for Thanksgiving or Christmas, or are planning a big holiday dinner, here are some “Made in the USA” products that might work well:

Shopping All-American For Your Holiday Decorations

Pumpkin Spice, Winter Wonderland, and Mulled Cider Soy Candles, 9oz by Sweet Water Decor

These candles smell amazing and are so cute to put on your table this holiday season. Every product from Sweet Water Decor is designed with hand lettering by the creator, so you will be getting something unique with their products.

Shopping All-American For Your Holiday Decorations

Mistletoe Paper Placemats, by Lucy Grymes

These placemats can brighten up any table. They are disposable, which makes for easy cleanup. 24 come in each pad. Lucy Grymes is the creator and has always had an obsession with anything colorful and patterned which comes across in her products both for the holidays and any time of the year.

5 Misconceptions About Breastfeeding

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5 Misconceptions About Breastfeeding

This is a sponsored post! 

Before I ever had children, I knew I wanted to breastfeed once I had them. I was committed to doing this. But once my first baby was born, I realized that I had been wrong about some parts of breastfeeding.

I just assumed that because I wanted to breastfeed my son, and breastfeeding was natural, breastfeeding would be easy for us. That he would be born, I would start to nurse him, and everything would fall into place. In reality, things were more complicated than that.

5 Misconceptions About Breastfeeding

We eventually figured out how to make breastfeeding work, but not without help, many tears, and many frustrating nights.

Although many women do breastfeed successfully, there are many misconceptions about breastfeeding, here are five of them:

Breastfeeding will be easy since it is natural

As I mentioned above, I thought that since I wanted to breastfed so badly, things would work themselves out. In reality, breastfeeding doesn’t always come easy for everyone for many different reasons. A lactation consultant can be a great person to go to if you are struggling to get started with breastfeeding. Give yourself some time and patience and don’t be afraid to ask for help if you need it.

You won’t need a breast pump if you breastfeed

Did you know that with your TRICARE benefit you can receive a no-cost breast pump? You might be thinking you won’t need one if you are planning to breastfeed and be a SAHM. Or that you might not need one until the baby is a little older and you feel comfortable leaving them.

The truth is, a breast pump can be so helpful even in those early weeks. Breast pumps can build up an emergency supply of milk, relieve pain from engorgement, and help with your milk supply. Since you can easily order your breast pump through The Breastfeeding Shop, having one available to you from day one is a good idea.

The Breastfeeding Shop has many different choices of breast pumps, and you can easily order your pump through their app or online. You can also order your breast pump accessories or supplies through them. You can start by using their breast pump order form.

5 Misconceptions About Breastfeeding

You have to feed your newborn on a strict schedule

Feeding your baby on demand can be one way to feed your newborn. You don’t have to feed on a strict schedule. Your baby will give you cues to let you know when they are hungry. And in those first months, they will go through different growth spurts where they need to eat more than usual.

Not having your baby on a strict schedule doesn’t mean you can’t have a routine. Establishing routines with a baby can be very important. But not having too strict of a schedule with feeding can make the breastfeeding experience a little easier for everyone.

You can’t breastfeed and go back to work

You might be going back to work after your baby is born and not sure if you should continue to breastfeed. The truth is, you totally can. Going back to work doesn’t mean you have to stop breastfeeding. And can be another reason to order your TRICARE benefit breast pump.  Some breast pumps work better for everyday use than others so make sure to check into what the right breast pump would be for you.

You have to stop breastfeeding at a year

There is no rule that says you have to stop breastfeeding your baby at a year, or at nine months, or at six months. You need to do what works for you and your baby. Different people will have different comfort levels with how long they want to continue breastfeeding for.

Looking for more information on your TRICARE benefit breast pump? Here are some posts for you:

What You Need To Know About Ordering Your TRICARE Benefit Breast Pump Accessories and Supplies

FAQs About Your TRICARE Benefit Breast Pump Through The Breastfeeding Shop

How to Decide What Breast Pump is The Best One For You And Your Baby

How You Can Really Support A Veteran This Veterans Day

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How You Can Really Support A Veteran This Veterans Day

Today is Veterans Day! A day to honor those who have served, whether they did so years before you were born, or doing so now. And every year, you might wonder the best way to honor the veterans in your life.

Maybe you are married to a veteran, maybe your dad or mom or a grandparent or someone else in your family has served. Maybe you just want to give back to the veteran and military community as a whole.

How You Can Really Support A Veteran This Veterans Day

Here are some things you can do to really support a veteran this Veterans Day:

Listen to their stories

Listening to the stories of our veterans is important. Whether they are talking about their time in Vietnam, or about their last tour of Iraq. Read books written by veterans about what they have been through and what they have learned through the years. Hear what they have to say, and carry their words with you.

Offer them a discount

If you have a business, offer them a discount. If you own a restaurant, offer them a free meal on veterans day if you are able to. Even a 10% discount is a nice way to thank them for serving. And let people know you do offer this discount.

How You Can Really Support A Veteran This Veterans Day

Vote with them in mind

No matter what side you are on, vote for veterans in mind. Think about the different policies that might support or hurt veterans. What will help them the most? Check and see if those who are running are veterans and what they have to offer your community.

Simply thank them

A simple thank you can go a long way. A thank you says that you notice them and that you care. And it won’t cost you anything to do so.

How You Can Really Support A Veteran This Veterans Day

Support veteran-owned businesses

Support veteran-owned businesses when you can. Many veterans might start a business after they get out of the military. Learn about local veteran-owned businesses in your community. Shop local veteran-owned businesses when you can and share about what they have to offer for others to see.

Donate to help veterans

If you can, donate to help veterans in your area. Even if you don’t have a ton to give, every little bit counts. Organizations like Disabled American Veterans (DAV,) Blue Star Families, The Gary Sinise Foundation, Hope for the Warriors, and Operation Homefront are great places to start.

Volunteer to help veterans

There are so many places you can volunteer to help veterans. Most organizations that help veterans could use volunteers whether it is helping them serve a meal, decorate for a holiday party, sort clothing, or even donate items in need. See what is available in your local community and don’t be afraid to step up and offer some help.

This veterans day, think of all of those who have served. Those who have done so through peacetime, as well as wartime. Those who did so before 9/11 and those who did so after. Those who have signed up for 20+ years, and those who only served for a couple.

Thank you to those who have served our country, we are forever grateful.  

What is your favorite way to support veterans? 

When You Are Living a Military Life

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When You Are Living a Military Life

I have lived in a military community ever since I got off the airplane in Germany back in 2006. I have been through seasons of deployment after deployment. I have watched my friends go through this too. I have gone through a few PCS moves myself, I can’t even count how many people I know going through one this year.

A military life can be so different than a civilian one. I have learned this over the years, both from personal experience and the experiences of other military spouses I have known.

The military life is unique, filled with so many challenges and frustrations. There is nothing like it.

When You Are Living a Military Life

When you are living a military life, you deal with deployments.

Sometimes this means your spouse is away for just a few months, other times they can be deployed for much longer, for a year, or even more.

Sometimes this means crying yourself to sleep because you miss them so very much, sometimes it means being a shoulder for your friend to cry on when she is missing hers.

Sometimes this means feeling sick to your stomach every time the doorbell rings, other times it means receiving a call that your spouse is okay, but did get injured and trying to digest what that all means.

When you are living a military life, you deal with pcsing

Sometimes this means moving from your hometown, across the ocean, to a small German village.

Sometimes this means being stationed somewhere you never wanted to go, for an unknown amount of time.

Sometimes this means being reunited with your best friend from four years ago because you are both getting stationed at the same duty station.

When You Are Living a Military Life

When you are living a military life, you will have to stand by your service member

Even when they return from deployment, and they don’t seem like the same person.

Even when you are not sure how to make things better.

Even when it seems like your spouse’s career always comes first.

When you are living a military life, you might need to walk away

Sometimes life really does get too hard.

Sometimes a marriage falls apart, despite your best efforts.

Sometimes, things can’t last forever like you want them to.

When You Are Living a Military Life

When you are living a military life, you might feel lonely at times

Your friends might move away.

You might move away.

And your life can be filled with so many hellos, then goodbyes.

When you are living a military life, you can get frustrated with your own career plans

You might want to work in your ideal job, but there are no openings for that type of job where you currently live.

You might apply, only to be rejected because of all the moves you have made in the past.

You might have to start over every few years, and that can make you feel like you just want to give up.

Being married to a service member will make you humble, will allow you to become more independent, and will help you grow in ways you never thought possible. But at the same time, the harsh realities of a military life can really get to us. Some days will be easier than others, some duty stations will be easier than others, and some deployments will be easier than others.

We will find what works, we will we find our strength, and we will figure out how to get through what is ahead.

 

Your Bookish Gift List For This Holiday Season

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Your Bookish Gift List For This Holiday Season

Books have an amazing way of transporting us on journeys and adventures that we would never be able to experience if not for these amazing stories. No matter who we are or where we are located in the world, a good book, audiobook, or poem can transform and enhance our everyday experience.

Hopefully, this bookish gift list sparks some ideas for that special book lover in your life.

Your Bookish Gift List For This Holiday SeasonJ.M. Barrie’s Peter Pan is timeless tale for all ages. This tote bag comes in a yellow golden print with a forest green background. Each tote bag in the collection comes in three distinct sizes. They are lined with cotton handles to carry all your books and other sundries to and from the library, bookstore, or wherever you like to read!

Your Bookish Gift List For This Holiday SeasonIf you are looking for a witty and unique shirt that will bring a smile to any book lover’s face, look no further than the Book End T-Shirt. When you try to think about which phrases many books share, ‘Once Upon A Time’ is one that comes easily to mind, but what about ‘The End’? Whether it is a book, novel, or poem, the last lines and the final pages always arrive. The women’s shirts come in sizes XS – 3XL, there are a wide variety of color options to choose from, for this shirt, in particular, there are 14 different color options available.

Your Bookish Gift List For This Holiday SeasonEach design that is available for women is also available in a men’s or unisex sizing. This Typewriter T-Shirt is made for not only the reader, but also the writer in everyone. The typewriter is in a black print and slightly distressed for a vintage look. Each shirt is 100% cotton fabric which wears great over time. There are a few heathered colors, such as the heathered grey that have varying amounts of polyester.

Use the exclusive code SoldiersWifeCrazyLife20 at checkout to receive 20% off on your order! This coupon code does not expire.

Written by Melissa Chan, lifelong book lover and designer at Literary Book Gifts.