Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

Military Life

I Wish I Could Go Home For Christmas

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When You Wish You Could Go Home For Christmas Soldier's Wife, Crazy Life

I have not been in my parent’s home for Christmas since 2005. That makes me sad. It really does. I have not even been in California for Christmas since 2007. When my husband and I got married we thought we would spend every other Christmas with each family. That was when my parents were only nine hours away and his were 10 minutes away. Christmas wasn’t one of those things I thought much about when we moved away from California.

Every year, for the past 7-8 years we have spent Christmas in our own house. It’s been quiet, refreshing and quite nice. But…there is still a part of me that wishes it could be different.

I wish that we could all get ready to go to the airport, get on a plane and land in Orange County to spend our Christmas break there. To see family, go to a Christmas Eve service together, put my children to bed with dreams of Santa in the same room I used to sleep in, get together with friends who are also visiting from out-of-town, open presents as a big family instead of having to send them or just to be together during the holidays.

When I was growing up we would spend Christmas in our house or at my Grandparent’s house and my aunt and uncle would be there too. That was nice, it was fun to be with family, watch my Grandpa take his time with his gifts, eat a big family Christmas dinner and make Christmas cookies with my Grandma.

It’s hard to be away from family. It’s even harder during Christmas. If only we made a little more money, if only tickets were not so expensive, if only we actually lived in California too and at most had to ride in a car for a few days.

This isn’t my reality right now and I know that. I will cherish our quiet Christmas this year. Where we don’t have to go anywhere, no rushing around. Where my kids will wake up in their own beds on Christmas morning. Where I can make a small meal and enjoy that time with my little family of five. Someday we will be able to join our families for Christmas. We will either be able to fly out to see them or live right there too.

If you feel sad this week because you can’t go home for Christmas either, I can totally relate. Whether it is because you are stationed too far from home and it is just not going to work to go this year, whether you or your spouse can’t get off work or whether you don’t have a good relationship with your family so that going home will just make life a little harder.

While it seems like everyone is hoping on a plane for home, that isn’t true. So many people are missing someone this year. All we can do is make the best of what we have and enjoy a smaller Christmas this year. We can still make a lot of memories with our own little families, visit with friends and enjoy something new that we might not be able to if we went home.

As the song says, “I’ll be home for Christmas, if only in my dreams…”

Are you sad that you can’t go home for Christmas too? What do you like about staying home?

5 Fiction Books To Put On Your Reading List

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5 Fiction Books To Put On Your reading list

2015 is almost over and it has been a good book year for me. I have read 55 books this year which is up from previous years. I read a lot of fiction this year. I love to lose myself in a good book. As I look back over all the books I read this last year, I wanted to talk about my top 5 and encourage you to add these books to your list if you haven’t read them yet yourself. I think you will enjoy them.

The Nightingale by Kristin Hannah

This book takes place in WW2 France. Vianne has to say goodbye to her husband as he goes off to war. Her sister Isabelle is a young 18-year-old looking for her purpose. She is sent to stay with her sister when the Nazis invade France. The book goes back and forth between the sisters and what they are dealing with during the war. This is one of those books that really gets to you. Even though it is fiction, you know that a lot of what the sisters experience really happened to people during the war. This was such an emotional book, but even weeks later I can’t stop thinking about the characters and how their lives were changed because of what they went through. Purchase on Amazon.

 

Me Before You by Jojo Moyes

This one was a pretty quick read for me. I have never read a book like this before and I found it hard to put down. Louisa Clark takes a job working as a caregiver for Will Traynor. He is wheelchair bound after an accident. Up until that time he lived a pretty amazing life and he is having a very difficult time with the way life is after the accident. The book is about their relationship and how Lou grows as a person. I really liked her character and you just didn’t know how the book was going to go. The other characters, like her family also play a role and add a little bit of humor to the book as well. Purchase on Amazon.

 

Fall of Giants by Ken Follett

If you are a fan of historical fiction you will love this book. It is the first book in a three book series about five families. This books has them going through WW1, the Russian Revolution and the struggle for women’s suffrage. There are the stories of a Welsh working class family, an American law student, the aristocratic family, a German spy and two Russian brothers. It is so interesting to watch all these characters interact and go through their lives interacting with real events and people. The story starts in 1911 and ends in 1925. It is a long book but worth it, even if it takes you a long time to read it. Purchase on Amazon. 

 

What Alice Forgot by Liane Moriarty

Alice is 29, in love with her husband and expecting their first child. Then she comes to on the floor of a gym to find out that she is 39, getting divorced and has three kids. She can’t remember any of the time in-between. The book is all about her learning about her “new” life and trying to adjust, but it isn’t always easy. I can’t imagine what it would be like to wake up from something like that and hear that you hated your husband or that you had kids you didn’t remember. This book is a mix of humor and relationships as Alice tries to remember what she forgot. I plan to read all of Liane Moriarty’s books as I love each one of them. I have also read The Husband’s Secret and have started Big Little Lies.  Purchase on Amazon.

 

The Forgotten Garden By Kate Morton

A little girl has been left abandoned in 1913 Australia. She is taken in by the dockmaster and his wife and raised along with their own children. When she is 21, she finds out how she ended up in her family but doesn’t know much more then that. Years later her granddaughter Cassandra follows up on the searching she did during her life in hopes of finding out the truth. I loved how this book went back and forth between the time periods, revealing a little more of the story the more you read. I had heard about Kate Morton a few years ago, but 2015 was the first time I read one of her books. Purchase on Amazon. 

 

What were your favorite books of 2015? What do you want to add to your reading list in 2016???

 

 

The Hard Truth About Being A Military Spouse

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The Hard Truth About Being A Military Spouse

The Hard Truth About Being A Military Spouse

My husband and I had talked about him re-joining the Military for months before he actually did. It was a hard decision to make and I can remember thinking about how if he did join he would be gone for long periods of time. This would mean that I would be the solo parent in the home to our son and any future children we might have.

That was a hard thing to come to terms with. To think that I would have to be alone with my kids for periods of time. That wasn’t what I had in mind when I married my husband. We were going to have kids, several of them. He was a good father. He would be there for everything.

Being a solo parent is just one of the many ways that Military life is hard. It can really get to you and each day can be a struggle. And as much as there are good things about Military life like homecomings, good friends, taking pride in what your spouse is doing, there are some hard truths about it as well.

Your spouse is going to miss holidays

This one can be hard for some people, especially if you can’t make it home to be with other family members. Deployments and trainings doesn’t usually take off for the holidays, especially the smaller ones. You can’t ever assume that they will be home for Christmas, if they are, you are one of the lucky ones. You will have to make the best of it, celebrate later or figure out creative ways to still celebrate the holidays when they are gone.

You might have to give birth without them

Raise your hand if you had to give birth without your husband. So many of us Military spouses have had to do this. For me it was because they send him home on R&R but he didn’t get home in time. He met his son at our front door when he was three days old. Thank goodness my mom was there. I have had friends that do decide to go home if they know their husband will be gone for the birth. Others are able to Skype with them during the birth. Thank goodness for technology. Although a lot of commands do try to make it so that your spouse will be with you for the birth, it isn’t always possible.

Your friends will always be moving away

Military life includes a lot of moves. That means that people will be coming and going all the time. As a Military spouse you will have to say goodbye to a lot of people, your kids will too. Some of these people will be your best friends and saying goodbye will hurt in the worst way. Other friends might not be as close but you will miss seeing them on a regular basis and will feel their absence. And if your friends aren’t moving any time soon, you might be the one to have to do it. It is hard to always have to say goodbye and then try to make new friends again but we Military spouses do it. We do it all the time.

The Hard Truth About Being A Military Spouse

You will become independent and that will change the dynamic of your marriage

Because of the way Military life works, you will become more independent as a Military spouse. Things will break when they are gone and you will have to figure that out by yourself. You will have to run the household, pay all the bills, make a lot of decisions alone that a lot of couples make together. All of that will make you very independent. This can be a challenge when they are home. You will still want to do it all and sometimes you have to let them do things again. This is something you and your spouse will have to work through in order to get to a good place.

It’s important to understand these hard truths if you are a Military spouse. You want to be prepared for them and it is also nice to know that a lot of other Military spouses experience these challenges too. It can help you not feel so alone if your spouse is in the Military and you are living the Military life.

Leave me a comment and tell me what has been hard for you during your time as a Military spouse? How do you get through those challenges?

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5 Ways To Have A Simple Christmas

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Oh to have a simple Christmas. You made it through Thanksgiving, Christmas is coming and you are already feeling overwhelmed. How will you get through it? It isn’t even December 1st yet. There is just so much to do in the next 25 days.

simple Christmas

You want to keep Christmas simple yet you find that difficult with so much on your to-do list.

The truth is, there is the pressure to have a perfect Christmas but there are ways that you can have a simple yet special holiday season.

5 Ways To Have A Simple Christmas-

1. Have you kids help. Now obviously if you have younger children this isn’t going to work as well, but as they get older, have them help. I haven’t had to decorate the Christmas tree in years. My boys are old enough to do it now. This takes a lot of stress off of me having to do everything to get our home to look like Christmas. Older kids can also help you wrap presents, bake cookies and help you set up Christmas dinner.

2. Travel plans. Traveling during the holidays can be stressful. Not just traveling on an airplane but also on Christmas day. If you feel like you have to go to three different houses with four young children, try to make other plans. Don’t feel like you have to take on so much on that day that it doesn’t make it fun anymore. Try to plan things on other days around the holiday and put your foot down if you feel like you are being guilted into going somewhere on Christmas day. I know some families have realized that taking their kids all over on December 25th just isn’t going to work so they plan to spend the whole day at home and invite people to come and see them.

3. Plan ahead with gifts. Make lists, make plans, make budgets. Do this early. If you have a plan the gift giving won’t feel so overwhelming in December. Think about who you will buy for and what that person might like for a gift. Make plans to go out shopping far enough ahead of time that you won’t run into a ton of people while you are doing it. It will make the shopping time less stressful and you can get everything done before the mad rush begins.

4. Plan for a baking day. There are so many Christmas goodies out there. I want to make them all. But even that can get a little overwhelming. It would be a good idea to plan a baking day with either your own family or friends. You can bake for hours making all of your holiday treats at once. You can freeze some if you need to but then you don’t have to feel like you need to bake everyday of the season. It can also be fun for the kids to get together with their friends and bake some cookies.

5. Don’t do anything you don’t want to do. If you don’t like Elf on the Shelf, don’t do it. If you started, find a way to make it simple. There are ways. If you spend the whole month of December doing things you don’t want to do, it will steal your joy. Make your Christmas special and unique for your family. Don’t worry about what everyone else is doing. You know your kids, what makes them happy and what you can skip. If you know your kids will complain about the cold the whole time you are out caroling, it might be best to skip it until they are older. Think about other ways you can bless people like bringing someone some Christmas cookies instead. There are a lot of options out there for celebrating Christmas so never feel like you have to do X, Y and Z in order to have a nice holiday. That will allow you to have a simple Christmas.

What would you add to this list? What do you do to have a simple Christmas? Any great tips?

A Simple Thanksgiving

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A Simple Thanksgiving

A Simple Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving! The time of year when everyone is running around trying to get it all done. When I was in college I always flew home for Thanksgiving the Tuesday or Wednesday before. This was fun because I would usually see someone I knew from high school flying in to our home town and it just felt like everyone was trying to get home for the holidays.

When I got married we decided we would switch and every other year we would spend with each of our families. In 2002 we went down to see my family for Thanksgiving and then 2003 we hosted it at our home, my sister-in-law made the turkey since I had not learned how to do that quite yet. In 2004 we were back with my family with our two month old son. By 2005 we were in a totally different place. Ben was in Germany, I was in Kentucky and I spent the day with a friend.

In 2006 I was in Germany and spent the next four Thanksgivings over there. I learned how to make my own turkey, which was a fun and silly experience. Some years my husband was deployed and we spent it with friends. Other years it was our little family. Those years we had a simple Thanksgiving. In 2008 we had Thanksgiving a week early because he was going to deploy on Thanksgiving day, thanks Army.

We moved back to the US and for a few of the years since we have gotten together with friends. Other years I made a simple Thanksgiving dinner for my little family. That is what I plan to do this year as well.

How do I have a simple Thanksgiving?

I buy a smaller sized turkey, I only make what I know we will eat, sorry no cranberry sauce here none of us want it. I am not a big cook, most nights I really don’t like to cook but I do enjoy cooking Thanksgiving dinner for my family. There is no stress because I don’t have to worry about cooking the perfect meal. I just make what is going to work for us. I put the turkey in when I want to, we snack if we get hungry and then we eat when it is done.

I see people rushing, heading off to see family, planning big get-together and I admit, I get a little jealous about that. I would love to spend a Thanksgiving in California again, doing what I did growing up, being with my family, enjoy time with friends I don’t get to see very often. However, it just wasn’t possible for us to do that this year. This year we are going to have a simple Thanksgiving and that is okay. It can be a time to relax a bit with my boys, remember what we are thankful for and eat a good meal.

I know that in the future Thanksgiving will become busy again, especially once we move back to the West Coast. We will have family to visit, bigger meals to cook, more things to. So when I start to feel sad that I miss too many people over Thanksgiving, or sad that we are not spending it in a crazy mix of family fun, I remember that in the future, when this holiday becomes more stressful, I will look back to these simple Thanksgivings with fond memories.

How will you be spending Thanksgiving this year? Will you be having a simple Thanksgiving too?

 

Military Family Appreciation Month And The MetLife Tricare Dental Program

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This post was sponsored by the MetLife TRICARE Dental Program as part of an Ambassador Program for Influence Central!

Military Family Appreciation Month And The MetLife Tricare Dental Program

November is Military Family Appreciation Month!

It’s a great time to think about life as a Military family and everything we have gone through. Ten years ago my husband joined the Military. In 2014 we became a National Guard family. It’s been an interesting road for us. We have experienced so much over the years. First as an active duty family and now as a National Guard one. There are big differences between the two but through both of them we have been apart of the Military world.

We have been through four deployments and each one has been very different for us. From the amount of time he was gone to what he did while he was there to how old my kids were and how they reacted to it. A baby is going to be different then a five-year old with how they deal with the deployment. No matter how old the child is, it is hard to have to comfort them when they miss their Dad. They don’t quite understand why he would have to be gone for so long and I had to remind them that he would be home soon. As an adult I can understand his mission but it is hard to explain that to a child. I often times would tell them that he was off “protecting the United States” and as they got older that was easier for them to understand.

Growing up my Dad was home all the time. I often think about how different it has been for my own boys and that makes me a little sad. I have to remind myself that being married to someone in the Military can be difficult and I am not always going to be happy about it. The best thing for me to do is be there for my boys when they miss my husband and help them understand why he is in the profession he is in.

I also want to make sure that my kids have what they need, including dental care. We signed up for the TRICARE Dental Program (TDP) back when my husband first signed up for the Army. Then in 2014 we signed up as a National Guard family.

There are a lot of great benefits to those who sign up for Metlife’s Tricare Dental Program. You and your children will receive two cleanings and two exams per year and zero cost when you see a network dentist. A long with this you will have two topical fluoride applications that are covered in a consecutive 12-month period and you will also have a $1,300 Dental Program Annual Maximum per enrollee per plan year. You can read more about the benefits by going to the Metlife TDP website.

If you are a Military family, go to the Beneficiary Enrollment website and enroll your family in the program. Those in the National Guard or Reserves can be enrolled themselves too. Your dedicated Military service entitles you to this benefit.

Don’t forget to find Metlife TDP on Facebook and Twitter as well…:)

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MetLifeTDP
Twitter: https://twitter.com/metlifetdp

Enjoy the rest of Military Family Appreciation month!

Paris, War and the Military Spouse

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Paris, War & the Military SpouseParis, War and the Military Spouse

Paris was attacked on Friday. This was big news. I found out on social media which is where I find out about most worldly events, I am not a big tv news watcher. I started seeing people posting photos of visits to Paris and that we should pray for them.  I didn’t really understand why until I saw what had happened.

Paris was attacked by terrorists. About 130 people were killed that night. Such a tragedy.

I have had a few days to think about all this. I have read a few blog posts about it and seen so many social media posts about it as well. Everyone seems to have an option about what happened, about how the US is acting, about what we should be doing to support Paris and about why we didn’t do anything about other attacks in the last week, attacks in places like Beirut, Syria and Kenya. There is a lot going on in this world right now.

Is it fair to blame people who are supporting Paris but were silent on the other places? I don’t know. I for one didn’t know much about them until after Paris happened. I will admit I probably did see news articles about those things happening. And I am sure my thought was, “That is so very sad, yet another tragedy in that part of the world.” I didn’t do much else. I didn’t share photos praying for those places, I didn’t change my Facebook profile to their flags. I just went along in my day.

Paris gets hit and it affects me differently. Paris is close to Germany, where we used to live. People in Paris are more like me then people in those other places. Still, I can’t help but feel guilty about not really acknowledging what is happening in other parts of the world. I think focusing on Paris makes sense because we feel like Paris is like us. We feel connections to Paris that we don’t to other places. Is this the way it should be? Probably not but it is what happens. If you tell me that your friend’s sister’s neighbor’s house burned down, I am going to feel sad about that. If you tell me someone in my neighborhood’s house burned down, it would affect me much more. I would look into more tangible ways of helping them. I would feel more connected to it. This is just reality.

So what can we learn from this? That maybe we should look at what is going on everywhere. We should be aware of the World, not just the Western part of it. All of it matters.

There is another part of what happened in Paris that worries me. War. More war. More fighting. More deployments. I don’t know of very many Military Spouses that heard about Paris and didn’t think about what it could mean for their own spouse. If feels like the wars we have been fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan are never going to end, regardless of what any politician says.

When you live in a community where people are still deploying, you know that things are not over, they are still happening and people are still going off to war.

I am not sure what the solution to ISIS is. It’s a scary thing to think that people would hate other people so much that they could go in and kill them. The thought of that makes me want to burst into tears. But what do we do about that? What should America do? Keep sending people to the same places over and over? Back in 2003 I thought that was the solution. That we should send our troops in to do what was needed. It is now the end of 2015 and I just don’t know anymore.

What can America do when we have been at war for so long? When the Military is tired?

I don’t know the answers to these questions. I don’t know what would be right or moral or what should happen? I don’t know if what we are doing is going to help or make things worse. I have to trust in those that have the power to make those decisions but it is a difficult thing to do. Especially when my husband could be dirrectly affect by the choices those people make.

I know so many people who have been affected by war because I have been a Military Spouse for 10 years now. I know how some don’t come home and some come home broken. I see how marriages can break up and things are never the same after time over there.

I think of all of these things when I see that more war might be needed and all I can do is pray.

Pray for those areas, all of them, in Europe and Asia and the rest of the world. Pray for the innocent people who might die because of everything that is going on. Pray for the Military families that will see more war than any other generation. And hope that the US and our allies can make the right decisions that in the end will lead to a more peaceful world.

Lil’ Troops Review And Giveaway

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*I was sent some of these toys for review. 

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Have you ever heard of Lil’ Troops collectible sets? I had the chance to review these two sets.

Lil’ Troops are the ultimate collectible military action figures officially licensed by the U.S. Army.  Each figure stands at 3″ tall and comes with a non-violent accessory such as the American flag, night vision goggles, or water canteen, etc.  A portion of each Lil‘ Troops sale also goes to support to U.S. Army Morale, Welfare and Recreation programs aka the MWR.Lil’ Troops

I gave these to my four-year old to play with and he loved them! He knew right away that the “Infantryman” was Daddy. I thought the accessories included were super cute too. I think it is great for kids to see toys that look like what their parents do for a living. These would be perfect for any Military kid and a great gift for a child whose parent is just starting out on their Military journey.

Lil' troops

The Alpha Squad includes:

The Infantryman

The Rescue Pilot

The Urban Trooper

The Bravo Squad includes:

The Desert Trooper

The Recon Scout

The Recruit

You can find them at Toys R Us for $19.99

Visit The Official Lil Troops Facebook Page or their Website.

Want to win your own set of the Alpha and Bravo collectible sets? Enter the Rafflecopter below and good luck 🙂

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